Gift of Gold (The Year of Churning Bloods) (66 page)

I frowned, greatly disturbed by
how little he had moved from my last push
. I gave him a strong shove
, yet
h
e only
wobbled
as if he were made out of rubber

“Are you going to stand around ticking me or are you going to
do some damage
?”

              “Is that what you want?” I asked
,
loudly calling his bluff.” You're going to end up face down in the snow!”

Totara laughed
powerfully
at this added warning before motioning once more for me to push him.

I shrugged and charged at the man with full speed
.

Totara had his arms raised at where he thought I was going to strike him
, but l
ittle did he know I was not one to lose a challenge.

I ducked down at the last moment, avoiding his arms and striking both hips simultaneously. I felt the force of the
impact
sink into his right hand side
and for
a moment it had felt as though I had
knocked him over. In the next moment I felt my feet slip from under me causing me to tumble onto my side and into a fresh patch of snow. I recoiled my head upward where to my amazement, I saw Totara still standing, but looking over his shoulder to make sure that I was alright.

              “Amazing
,
” I whispered breathlessly.
“Absolutely amazing.”
I was about halfway through my list of praises when my
tongue had suddenly gone numb from cold, causing m
e to ramble incomprehensibly.

Totara raised his eyebrows in bemusement before looking underneath his hut and heaving two large bags of sand off the ground. Before I could ask what he was doing, he launched both at me with surprising speed. Although they weren't tremendously heavy, I could still feel their weight inviting my arms to the ground.

              “Stand with your right foot forward
,
” Totara ordered
while I willingly complied
“Your front leg needs to be bent a little more.” He patted my chest. “Keep those arms up. You’re holding something that will save your life. You can’t let them fall.”

With a great amount of effort, I managed to grunt the bags back up to my chest. The intense amount of unrelenting strain racing through my body was enough to make me quiver from head to toe. I stood there on the spot for nearly a half an hour, while Totara continued to snake around me. In his right hand, he had equipped a large stick, which he would use to try and upset my balance. I glanced down at my arms briefly to see large veins penetrating my wrists and clashing violently with the smooth milky color of my skin.

              “And drop.”

I fell to the ground mercifully and felt the relief pour into my arms. I tenderly touched my aching biceps and cringed.

Totara taught me a few basic stretches to help muscle growth and prevent cramps before staring off into the sky. The falling sun, threatening to drop over the hills seemed to startle Totara slightly, as the realization brushed over him that he hadn’t worked at all in the previous three days. “That's more of a vacation then I’ll ever need,” he conceded bashfully. Quickly moving, Totara ushered me off to the house, before darting into the woods to do some last minute hunting.

For the first time in a very long while, I was surprised to find I was happy.

***

“Tonight is the last night,” I said to myself forcefully. I wanted to build resistance to the poison of the reality. I’d stayed by Totara’s side for a full month and in return, he taught me how to fall trees, swing shields, bash swords and stand as if I was another member of this clan.

              With any luck, Totara would be soon able to afford journey back. I’d helped him do that. I realized unexpectedly. I gave him the inspiration he needed to continue working. With a bit of luck, he might be able to go back in a few more months. That word stuck in my thoughts like an unpleasant piece of food refusing to be swallowed. Luck was the cause of all of this. Totara had started out so well. Why did his luck suddenly end? What did he do to deserve this?

I stared down at the powdered luck in my hand and found myself trembling at the thought that I would someday use it. I heard snow crunch as Totara sat down beside me and gazed up at the star swept sky. I wanted to say something powerful and memorable yet nothing came to mind. Fortunately for me he was the first one to speak.

              “Sometimes I like to think that my miracle never really ended,” Totara whispered with a hard quiver in his voice. He sniffed hard and began to blink rather quickly. “Sometimes I like to think that my miracle is so amazing and so big that it’s just taking seven years to prepare.” He gazed at me and smiled broadly, revealing teeth so shockingly white it was like they were made out of moon stuff. “I don’t think you know this, but I actually talk to Gregor regularly,” Totara said, brushing dark braids of his hair off his face.

I scoffed slightly. “Like he had anything interesting to tell you. I’m sure it was just petty insults, or complaints.”

Totara shrugged. “You should talk to him. You may be surprised.”

“What did he tell you?” I demanded, sitting up straighter.

“That's not for me to say.”

“He’s literally tried to kill me,” I exclaimed stubbornly. “More than once in fact. I hardly think he’s going to be telling me his story any time soon.”

Totara sighed. “Well, when you put it that way you’re definitely right.”

My eyebrows shot up in confusion. “I am?”

“Absolutely. If you hate him that much, then there’s no doubt he’ll try to hide everything about himself from you.” Totara grinned as if this was somehow funny. We sat disconnected in silence, watching a wave of clouds start to engulf the storm of speckled lights. The progression was beautiful to watch, as each star would twinkle merrily before simply being swallowed by misty beasts. Occasionally some would peek out at you from beneath the layers and scream for help, only to be thrown back into the guts of the clouds.

“I’m really scared,” I admitted weakly. Totara nodded in agreement.

“That's natural. Sometimes when I’m scared I find it’s best to just talk to somebody about it.” He gestured to the hut and smirked. “Unless you’ve been living alone for nearly a decade. Then you just have to shut up and not think about it.”

I laughed and immediately the warmth I once knew flooded back into my throat.

“I’m scared to use this,” I whispered before briefly holding up the miracle powder. I doubted Totara could see what I was holding, but he understood what I was talking about nonetheless. “I’m scared to use this, because I’m worried something will go wrong.”

Totara’s breathing became deeper as his gaze arched back further and his eyes opened up to the entire sky. “What do you think your miracle is Jacob?” he asked solemnly. I paused for a silence that stretched on the verge of too long. Seeing no other option, I responded honestly.

“I don’t know.”

“Exactly!” Totara was on his feet now, pacing around and accelerating his every movement. “How could you possibly fail at something when you don’t even have a goal in mind?”

“I have to kill Orthonus within a year,” I whimpered pitifully.

“But is that what you want? Is that what you crave for more than anything?”

I fell silent. “I want love.”

Totara nodded sympathetically. “I think you should use it,” he suggested. “Right here. There’s no better time or place.”

I nodded in silent agreement, still trying to make sense of all my feelings.

Totara bounded ahead, pacing around like an agitated dog as he searched for something very specific.

I followed him as best as I could, jogging slightly. Before I could ask what he was looking for, he pointed to a lonely stump in a surprisingly empty part of the enclosure. I recognized it immediately at the place where I’d cut down my first tree. “The stump is completely rotten now,” I sighed,  kicking it slightly. A large chunk of soggy wood flew off into the distance leaving an earthy smell behind. “Couldn’t I just use the powder on another, less grimy tree?” It didn’t seem right to place my future in the roots of this decaying corpse, when I could use it on something far better.

Totara shrugged the question off.  “It’s symbolic. You look at this tree now and you think it’s worthless, but do you remember your fear when you were preparing to cut it down? Do you remember the excitement you felt when you tumbled it to the ground?”

“I nearly killed myself,” I responded quietly. Suddenly Totara and I were in stitches, cackling like wild animals at how silly it all seemed. “All right, all right point taken,” I chuckled before wiping at the corner of my eye. “How should I go about applying this stuff?

Totara shrugged. “Your miracle. not mine.”

I bent down to the stump’s level and with nervous fidgeting hands, removed the powder from my pocket. I tried to tear the packet open, however it resisted with surprising force. With a sudden chaotic rupture, the package split, spilling its contents in all directions and leaving a fine coat of crystalline material all over my clothes, the tree trunk, and the snow around it. I screamed in denial, and tried in vain to shake the small bits of powder off of my armoured pants. It seemed that somehow the sparkling crystals had embedded their way into the leather armor and clung to me like stubborn children.

“Leave it be.” Totara warned. “There’s nothing you can do about it now.” We watched together in hushed silence to see if there were any immediate changes to our surroundings. After a frozen fifteen minutes without noise, I figured it would be far better if I actually got some sleep. Reluctantly, Totara and I hoisted our bodies up, before staggering off to the hut for a deep night’s sleep.

             
Chapter twenty-four

             
Lost button

             
I found a pigeon whose neck had been broken.

             
He looked quite the mess but his eyes were still open.

             
I scared off the cat who had done the damn deed,

             
Snatching life from air for a single meaty feed.

              I scrambled down the path, while the evening grew fatter,

             
And an woman strolled by without asking ‘what’s the matter?’

             
A child bumped my side with her father behind her,

             
And she stared all wide eyed at the poor lump of feathers.

              But on did I walk the finite street of time,

             
Hoping to do good for nor a nickel nor a dime

             
And I tiptoed to the house, all nice and quite quiet.

But when the maid saw me she threw a rather large riot.

Yet I gave it a box, and a lovely warm bed,
Trying not to notice it was very near dead.

And though I may have fought a fight,
              And though I might have saved the day,

I couldn’t swear I didn’t help him make him the whole night.

The bird in the bush had died in my hands.

             
342 days remaining

             
Awaking slowly, I relished the feeling of rubbing up against the soft covers of my bed. My eyes slowly fell open and absorbed the soft natural light pouring through the nearby window, which illuminated dust particles lazily revolving around me. I got up and began to look for a bite to eat when suddenly I noticed that I’d packed my bag from the previous day. I stared, wondering stupidly why I would do such a thing until yesterdays memories slapped me awake. I took one look out the window before charging outside.