Gift of Wonder (15 page)

Alice didn't know why a single tear moved down her cheek. She thought of her parents every day, but this particular memory seemed so real, so close. And she prayed that Christ was watching over her, but more so, she asked the Lord to watch over Jonah and help him. “He's going to need You,” she whispered. “And I'm going to need You…after I tell him.”

Jonah thought they'd gotten through the worst. He believed they now had a chance to be together, to have a future. And she wanted to believe that, too.

But how could she? She'd wanted to tell him about his father, about the allegations his mother had tried to bring up, but she'd watched his handsome face, had seen the soft smile there, the light of hope and joy in his eyes. And she just couldn't bring herself to shatter all that hope and joy. Not yet.

“You blew it,” she said to herself. “You panicked and you chickened out.”

Now, somehow, she was going to have to tell Jonah what she'd done. Somehow, she wanted to make him see that they could get past this one last obstacle. If everything Sheriff Guidry had told her was true, then Jonah could find his mother and get to the truth at last.

If only he'd stay around long enough to do that, after Alice explained her findings to him.

But would he? That was the question keeping her from finding any rest tonight. And even her mother's hushed assurances moving through her memories
couldn't help. So she lay there in the darkness, in the stillness, and she listened to the silence, a great loneliness weighing on her soul. And she prayed that God was listening, too.

“L
et's go on a date.”

Alice held her cell phone to her ear, Jonah's soft words radiating through her fatigue. “A date?” She leaned back in her office chair. “Hmm. We've never actually been on one of those, have we?”

He laughed. “No, and from what I've heard, that's how most couples get to know each other. I was thinking a nice picnic out on the bayou.”

“A picnic? I haven't been on a real picnic since—” She stopped, swallowing back all the bitterness and regret in her soul. “Since before my parents died.”

“Oh, if it's a bad idea—”

“No, no. I think it's a great idea.” She turned to find Dotty's radar gaze centering on her. “What time?”

“Can you get off a bit early, say around five?”

“I can probably do that. Where?”

“I'll meet you at the park across from your house.”

“Oh, you mean the park that you're building?”

“That's the one. I might call it Esther's Place.”

Alice let that soak in, her stomach clutching at all she knew about Esther. “I like that,” she said, her tone whisper soft.

“Okay. When you get there, I'll tell you the name for the subdivision, too.”

“I'll be there. Do I need to bring anything?”

“No. Paulette and I have planned everything. Just bring your pretty self.”

“Okay. See you then.”

Alice hung up then stared at Dotty. “What?”

“You haven't told him yet, have you?”

Alice shook her head. “I can't seem to find the right time.”

“You've had all weekend.”

“I avoided him all weekend,” she admitted. “I told him I was tired from getting this issue of the magazine to bed. And that I wanted to stick close to Lorene, since Jay needed to get some things finished in the fields before winter sets in.”

“Both good excuses, but you could have met with him, all the same.”

Alice got up, lifting her hands in the air. “Okay, so I'm a coward. I don't want to be the one to cause him any more pain, Dotty. You said I shouldn't tell him anyway, remember?”

Dotty slanted her head, her gold hoop earrings sparkling against her ears. “I understand that, suga', and yes, I tried to talk you out of it, but you've always been so brutally blunt. This isn't like you. You owe it to that man to level with him.”

“Well, you've sure changed your tune.”

“I know,” Dotty replied. “But…I told
my
husband about giving up my baby. You'd be telling Jonah something he's been trying to figure out all his life. I think there's a difference. And since you found out the story, you need to be the one to tell him.”

“You're right, I do. But I also owe him a little time to just enjoy what he's accomplished. He needs this time. And even though he's already told me he wants to keep looking for his mother—and the truth—he also said he needs to finish his work here first. He can't do both at once, Dotty. Because he knows he'll need all his energy and time to pursue this. And…I think deep down inside he wants to be able to walk away, if it comes to that. He can't leave until he finishes what he started here.”

“Which is the development? Or finding his past? Or maybe being with you?”

“All of the above. But as for the development and his past—he has to finish one before he can focus on the other. As for him and me—if I tell him this now, I don't know what will happen with us. I'm afraid he'll resent me so much there won't be any more us.”

“You're in a real pickle, sweetheart.”

“Tell me something I don't know. I worried about this all weekend. And I even tried to track down his mother—I looked on genealogy sites and searched old newspapers at the library on Saturday. And I plan to look up death records. She might not even be alive anymore, for all we know.”

“But the man told you to cease and desist on the search.”

“He did. But…I'm a lot like Jonah. I have to finish what I started. I opened this can of worms and now I have to find the truth, so I can be prepared when I finally tell him.”

“Are you thinking of sitting on this for…months, years, maybe? 'Cause it might take that long for him to finish building that subdivision.”

“I know,” Alice said, getting up to pace the floor. “And I haven't decided. I don't know what to do. And you know that isn't usually a problem for me.”

Dotty chewed her lip. “No, you've always been decisive and quick-thinking, but I reckon this is different. This is personal.”

Alice slapped a hand on the desk. “Yes, too personal. He asked me to back off and he thinks I have. Now I know this awful thing and it's killing me. I wish I'd listened to Jonah.”

“Well, Thanksgiving is next week. Is he going back to Shreveport for the holidays?”

“I don't think so,” Alice said, back to pacing again. “He doesn't have any family there. He's got coworkers and friends, but I think Jonah's a loner by nature. He might just stay here and work.”

“What if you told him then?”

“You mean, ruin a nice holiday by spilling the beans about his parentage? Yeah, that'll go over great.”

Dotty blocked her. “Stand still and listen, will you?”

Alice nodded, then let out a breath. “Okay, I'm listening.”

“I'm thinking the holidays will provide a lull in the work out there on the bayou. He'll probably let people
at least have time with their families for Thanksgiving. Why not use that time to talk to him, be honest with him and get it all out in the open?”

“And what if he bolts?”

“He might, but he has an obligation to the people counting on him. That could be the leverage he needs to work through this.”

“Is that how you cope? By working all the time?” Alice asked, wondering how Dotty found her strength.

Dotty gave her a hard stare. “Pretty much. But then, I like to work. I'm not big on holidays.”

Alice hated to hear that, but she could tell Dotty didn't want to talk about it. “Dotty, why don't you come to our house on Thanksgiving?”

Dotty lifted her dark brows. “Excuse me?”

“You know, the day where we eat too much turkey and dressing and then we top it off with pie and cake? I don't think you've ever been to our house for a meal. Why not now?”

“You're changing the subject, aren't you?”

“No, I'm trying to listen to your advice. You might be right. Just get it all over with and hope Jonah can see past his hurt enough to forgive me.”

“And why would
me
being at your house for Thanksgiving help with this in any way?”

“I need you there,” Alice said, hoping to convince her stubborn friend that she shouldn't be alone on the holiday.

Dotty actually blinked.

“What's wrong?”

“I…I just never heard anybody say that—to me—I mean.”

Alice stared at her boss. “Dotty, we all need someone. I need you. You're my rock.”

“Stop it,” Dotty replied, wiping at her eyes. “I don't cry. You know I don't cry.”

“Well, maybe you should try it sometimes. It helps.” Alice reached for her. “And so does hugging a good friend.”

Dotty hesitated a minute, then grabbed her and patted her on the back. “Okay, you got me. I'll come to dinner. Just for you. But don't make me cry again, you hear? And don't expect a lot of hugging, either.”

“I hear,” Alice said. “And I'll do my best to tell Jonah the truth, somehow.” Then she stood back. “But today, I intend to put this out of my mind for a couple of hours and go on a real date with a real man. A picnic, of all things. He's a tad romantic, don't you think?”

Dotty was back to being tough and stubborn, even though she was still sniffing. “I'm thinking a lot of things but…you go on and have fun. I guess you two deserve a reprieve from all the drama, at least for a little while.”

Alice hoped her friend was right. And she refused to let the dark clouds from Jonah's past ruin this beautiful fall afternoon. She'd do a bit more searching and digging, then she'd tell him everything next week.

And she'd see if he truly could deal with all of it—no, make that if they
both
could deal with all of it.

 

He had everything ready.

Jonah surveyed the plaid picnic blanket, then checked the basket Paulette had helped him pack. He'd
tried to think of some of the foods Alice had always ordered at the Bayou Inn—grilled chicken, salad, fruit and chocolate bread pudding. The woman loved her chocolate bread pudding. Paulette had tossed in some freshly baked bread and a jug of her famous mint tea, too. And she'd provided nice plates, utensils and two pretty goblets. Paulette was a romantic.

“Just feed her and smile at her,” she'd advised Jonah. “Most women just want to feel special. Make her feel special, Jonah. And if you hurt her, I'll break your legs.”

Yeah, Paulette sure was a romantic.

He didn't want to hurt Alice. He wanted to talk to her, to laugh with her, to find out what her favorite color was, to ask her which season she loved the best, to see what she thought about Lorene's choices for the model house. He had so many questions.

Being around Alice had softened his burning need to find his mother. He still wanted to do that, but now he knew he could take his time and do it right. He'd keep digging in his spare time, but a lot of that time might be occupied by a cute, curly-haired blonde, if he had his way.

He heard her car rumbling up the winding lane to her house, then watched as she got out and looked across the water. She waved, her hair lifting in the wind. “Hey, you.”

“Hey, yourself,” he called, liking the way she tossed her tote bag on a chair on the porch, then started prancing toward him.

He watched her cross the old bridge, watched as her long denim skirt floated around her cowboy boots. She
had on a lightweight mint-green jacket and a crisp white blouse. Alice knew how to throw clothes together.

She knew how to make things happen. She knew how to make his heart zoom and his head spin. He was in trouble, but he liked it.

She came across the bridge and he stood up to meet her. “You made it.”

“I did.” She looked down at the blanket and the basket. “What's all this?”

“As promised, this is our very own picnic. With all your favorites from the Bayou Inn.”

She glanced over the plates and goblets and then peeked into the basket. “Is that chocolate bread pudding?”

“Freshly made this morning.”

“God bless Paulette,” Alice said. Then she turned to him. “And God bless you. I needed this today.”

Jonah wasn't used to that kind of salutation. “I need some blessing, I reckon,” he said as he invited her to sit down. “And I think…I've found it here.”

She took the goblet full of tea he poured, then lowered her head. “You don't like talking about God, do you?”

He stared over at her for a minute before answering. “I've never felt that close to Him. I know He's out there, but sometimes it seems He's just too far out of reach.”

He saw the shadow of fear in her eyes. “Hey,” he said, reaching for her hand. “I believe. I do. I just don't put forth much effort on my own behalf.”

“Because you don't think you matter to Him?”

Jonah filled her plate and handed it to her. “Maybe not. I didn't matter to my parents.”

She lowered her head again, her gaze downcast. “Lorene's faith is so centered and so strong. I envy her that. I'm like you, I guess. I believe but I don't make a big deal out of it. I don't put Him front and center the way my sister does. But lately, I can see that I need to do that very thing.”

He chuckled. “We're a pair—out here on a romantic picnic and talking about religion.”

“It's an important part of my life,” she said. “Even if I'm not as devout as Lorene, I sure need Christ in my life. And I need Him now more than ever.”

Jonah saw the trace of regret in her glance. “Because of me? Does it bother you that my faith isn't so strong?”

Her smile was tinged with confusion. “Well, yes, of course, but I think you're working on that. You've been in church a couple of times in the last few weeks. It's a start.”

“But…is that a deal breaker, between us?”

“No, it's not. I can't sit in judgment of you, Jonah. I'm just worried about…a lot of things.”

He sank down beside her. “Hey, this was supposed to be a nice picnic, not a worry session.”

“You're right. And this food is so good. Thank you.”