Give Up On Me (10 page)

She felt like crying again but held herself together. “I don’t owe you or your family anything. What do you expect of me?”

“You can’t tell me you don’t want to see him. I can see it in your eyes that you love him.”

She felt like throwing up in his face. “If you can see that then why the hell are you against us being together?”

“That’s not the point now, is it?”

He was still a cold bastard.

“My idea is for you to come and try to wake Matt. If you succeed, we would like you to work with him.”

“Work with him? What am I a damn physical therapist?”

“In this case mental therapist.”

“I don’t understand.”

“We want you to spend time with him during his recovery and convince him that he can and should live a normal life without you.”

Janae’s mouth fell open. She would have stormed out of there, but her legs quivered too much. If she stood now, she would fall flat on her face and make a fool of herself in front of this asshole.

Her silence must have given him the impression she was still considering this preposterous plan.

“We will fund your living expenses aside from what we’ve given you, but there are other stipulations. You are not to spend the night with him or have sex with him. That’s defeating the purpose of helping Matt to realize a life without you.”

Janae rested her cheek against one hand. “So you and your grandmother think me and Matt will agree to this bullshit, huh?”

“I think you will. Matt will go along with whatever boundaries you place on him.”

“So on one hand you say you believe I love him. On the other, you’re offering me money to manipulate his emotions. That’s rich.”

He frowned. “I’m not saying manipulate him or get him to feel something he doesn’t feel. I’m saying—”

“I know what the hell you’re saying. Once again you ignore how we feel—how
I
feel—and I have to sit up there and stay by the side of the man I love, trying to help him to fall out of love with me. The only way I could possibly follow through was if I continue to love him with everything inside me. You’re asking me to put a knife in my own heart.”

“Janae.”

“I don’t matter. All these people around me, everybody needing something from me, but I don’t matter.” She stood. “Go to hell, Kyler.”

W
hat was she doing here
? As soon as the nurse left the room, Janae held Matt’s hand and brushed her lips over his skin. She nuzzled his fingers with her cheek and cried some more.

For the last week, she had been by his bedside, talking to him until her voice grew hoarse. She spent hours with him, encouraging him to wake up, and then she returned home to the apartment where she stayed. The Fousts had paid the rent up for a year, but she missed the Spanish countryside.

Janae had brought Maria with her on a tourist visa, but Kyler had agreed to use any influence he could to get Maria temporary resident status. She figured they knew about Nerea because they were nosy that way, but Kyler hadn’t mentioned her daughter, and Janae had refused to see Margaret. Not that the old bag was begging for a visit.

Janae didn’t know why she agreed to this madness at first, but when she turned over Matt’s hand and kissed it, she knew. He was still her world, sharing it with Nerea, but he was firmly there. If she could save him, she would try.

“Matt, wake up,” she whispered. “Open your eyes. Everyone is worried.”

As always, his lids fluttered. That was more response than what either Margaret or Kyler got out of him before she arrived. She stood and leaned over him to kiss his cheek. Kyler had said kisses were off limits. If it got Matt to wake up, she’d use it.

She would use something else, too. Pressing her lips close to his ear, she murmured, “I love you, Matt, and I miss you.”

He squeezed her hand for the first time, and hope rose in her chest. Tears spilled down her nose and plopped onto his face. She wiped them away gently and sniffed, trying to pull herself together.

Back in her seat, she drew her feet up onto the chair. “How about I tell you about an old guy I met in…uh…where I lived? His wife said he was a little touched in the head, her expression not mine. The dude was funny. He had a pet chicken, which he walked around on a leash. Yes, can you believe it? It shouldn’t be surprising, I guess, because they were both vegans.”

Janae droned on, talking about everything and everyone except for Nerea and Maria. She left out Maria because much of her duties involved helping Janae with Nerea. They both tended to cook and clean around the house since Janae had nothing else to do. She told him about her explorations around Valencia without giving the city’s name.

“The wine they make is incredible. There’s this honey one that I could have drunk like Kool-Aid.” She laughed. “I’m kidding. My dad didn’t raise me on Kool-Aid, but I’ve tasted it. Gah!”

“Ja-nnn.”

She almost fell out of the chair and looked into his face. Matt looked right back at her, and tears flooded her face. She sobbed. “You’re awake. Matt, are you okay? How are you feeling?”

She waited for him to open his mouth to speak, but he just stared at her. Then his eyes grew wide, and she saw it coming. His arms swung about, almost hitting her. He tried to rise, but he’d been strapped down. Panic set in, and he moaned, thrashing about.

“Whoa, Matt. Calm down. It’s all right.”

He fought her when she tried to grab his hand. She fell back and landed on her ass. Still, he made odd noises as if he couldn’t speak or understand. Fear gripped her chest. Was he brain damaged?

Janae leaped to her feet and ran out the door. “Somebody please help Matt! Help!”

Nurses appeared out of nowhere and hurried into the room. Janae followed them. Over the intercom, she heard someone paging Matt’s doctor. One of the nurses walked over to Matt and spoke to him in a soothing tone.

“It’s all right, Mr. Foust. You’re in a hospital. You’ve been injured, but you’re awake now, and everything’s going to be fine.”

Matt stopped thrashing, but his face was so pale, Janae wondered if he might pass out. His gaze shifted back and forth between the faces surrounding him. She crept closer, scared to find out the truth. Maybe he didn’t recognize her. Yet, she had heard him try to say her name.

As soon as Matt looked at her, he stilled. Every muscle in Janae’s body was so tense, she felt like she’d just been in an accident. Her movements jerky, she reached for his hand and held it. “Do you know me, Matt?”

Confusion settled over his features, and her heart ached. He moved his lips, but only indistinguishable sounds came out. She couldn’t help herself and started to cry. Matt’s fingers tightened on hers.

“N-no, Ja-nnn.”

She pressed a hand over her mouth and tried to stymie the tears. Matt’s doctor hurried into the room, and the nurses and Janae moved aside.

“Well, Mr. Foust, it’s so good to see you’re awake. You had us worried for a little while,” the sixty-something year old man said. “I’m Dr. Yeoman, your attending physician.”

Janae watched Matt closely while the doctor went through a series of tests and questions for him. Each time, she strained for Matt to start speaking, but it never happened. A short while later when Margaret and Kyler arrived Janae stepped away from the family and Matt’s bed. She didn’t leave the room because she couldn’t stop watching him, telling herself it was good that at least he was awake.

“Doctor,” Kyler said, “he can’t speak. Does that mean he has brain damage?”

“Not in the way you’re thinking. The loss of speech and fine motor skills can happen with brain injury, but the extent of it determines whether he will recover both. I’m optimistic that with physical therapy he will make great strides.”

“Great strides,” Margaret snapped, “is not the same as saying he’ll walk and talk the way he’s supposed to! Tell us plainly.”

“I’m sorry, Ms. Foust. That’s all I can say at the moment. We will see even in the next few days if he will make progress. Soon, we’ll move him to a rehabilitation facility, and he’ll be assigned a skilled professional to work with him.”

“He’ll have a private therapist at a private facility,” she argued, and Janae wished she would shut up.

After the doctor left, Kyler looked around and spotted her. He walked over and took her hand. She blinked at him surprise when he squeezed it. “Thank you, Janae. I knew bringing you here was the right thing to do.”

Once again she was struck thinking that in his own way Kyler loved Matt. She tugged her hand free of his. “You’re welcome. I guess I’m done and—”

He shook his head and glanced over his shoulder. With a gesture, he indicated they should step into the hall. She checked on Matt once again and joined him.

“He’s not out of the woods. You saw how he is, confused and he can’t talk. They haven’t gotten him out of bed, so we don’t know if he can walk.”

She swallowed. “He has sensation in his feet and legs.”

“But he might have forgotten
how
to walk.”

She shook her head. “No, I won’t believe that.”

He paced, running his hands over his face. His expression seemed to go from hope to despair and back again. “I’ve been doing some reading on the subject. It’s possible a person injured as badly as Matt was could even forget how to eat.”

“I don’t want to hear that!”

When she swayed, he laid a hand on her arm. “You’ve been here hours every day, far more than my grandmother and I have been. Plus, you have a young child at home.”

She started. Kyler continued as if his admission was no big deal. She’d suspected it but having him confirm took her by surprise. Presuming his next words would an order to keep her mouth shut about the baby, she didn’t catch what he actually said.

“I’m sorry. What?”

“Your role isn’t over. Remember, we agreed you would convince him that he can live his life without you, a happy life with purpose.”

“I said I would
try
. There’s a difference. Besides, he can’t even speak. I’m not sure he knows me or understands what we’re saying.”

Kyler looked at her for long minutes, and she had the feeling he knew what she so desperately needed to hear. “He knows you, Janae.”

He opened the door to Matt’s room again. Margaret leaned over Matt, frowning at him. “I can’t understand you. Try to take your time and say it slowly.”

How much more slowly can he say it?

“Ja-nnn-aaaeee.”

Kyler glanced at her and entered the room. After a beat, Janae followed. As soon as Matt spotted her, some of the confusion cleared from his expression. He moved his hand an inch or two in her direction, and she hurried forward to take it in hers. Her heart longed to pull him close and feel the warmth of his body, but she made do with holding his hand.

Margaret cast her resentful glances, which she ignored and spoke to Matt.

“It’s me, Matt. Do you remember?” Janae said.

His lips twitched, and he repeated her name slow and drawn out.

“That’s enough for today,” Margaret growled. “He’s tired.”

She tried shoving Janae aside, but Matt thrashed in his bed, moaning and trying to get to her. Kyler stepped in. “Stop, Margaret. He obviously wants to keep her here for now. Just let him adjust.”

“He needs his family,” Margaret said, “not her.”

“
She
woke him,” Kyler said, “not us.”

Janae wasn’t crazy enough to believe Kyler was on her side now, but she was grateful for every second she got to stay close to Matt. Now that he had awakened, who knew how long she had before they would try to force her to go away again.

S
ix months later
…

The barbells clinked together as Matt and his physical therapist laid them down on the floor. Matt panted, and sweat rolled down the side of his face, but he never complained. His blue gaze shifted from the next set of exercises he was performing to lock on her.

“Matt, you have to keep your head in the game on this one, bud,” the therapist told him. “Or we could both wind up in trouble. Come on, man, push it.”

“Give me a break for a minute,” Matt said.

The therapist glanced from Matt to Janae and sighed. “Okay, five.”

As soon as he left the room, Matt stood, using his cane, to approach her.

“You should be resting.”

“Janae.” His brilliant eyes on her sent chills down her back and brought goose bumps to her arms. She tried not to rub them and bring attention to his affect on her. Every chance the man got he spoke her name. Progress on making him change his mind about her? Yeah, right.

“I told you I wouldn’t come if you don’t concentrate.” That was another problem she had. She couldn’t use herself as a reward for him behaving. Yet, she had no other ideas. What she had was Kyler breathing down her neck wanting results. She had fed Matt when he couldn’t eat by himself and helped him form words when his therapist wasn’t around.

He dropped down beside her on the cushioned bench she occupied. “How can I concentrate when you look so good and you smell…” He leaned in closer, but she ducked away. His eyes danced with joy. “…good enough to eat.”

“Matt, stop. I told you I’m only here to help you through your recovery. You’re almost all better, and in a little while, I’m sure you’ll be given the clear to go back to work.”

“A little while is an eternity. I’m bored.”

“So that’s why you’re looking at me. Well, I’m not your entertainment.” She started to rise, but he grabbed her wrist. She was startled to find so much strength in his hold. Not too long ago, he’d been as weak as Nerea.

“No, you’re right. You’re not my entertainment. You’re the woman I love, and I’m doing all I can to win you.”

She blinked at him. He couldn’t be so blind as to not know how she felt.

Matt smirked. “I know you love me. What’s not to love?”

“Funny.”

He winked. Those fine motor skills were certainly on track. “I have you here.”

He pointed to her chest, and she smacked his hand away.

“I’m trying to help you to understand up here.” He brushed fingertips over her left temple. “That you and I belong together.”

She looked down and fiddled with her purse. “That’s not an option.”

“Says who?”

She heaved her shoulders and raised her chin. “Says me. Whatever affection I feel for you doesn’t matter. I’ve decided I don’t want to be with you, and you need to decide that you can live without me. Don’t try those ridiculous stunts I heard you were pulling after I left.”

She always waited for him to either say he wouldn’t be doing anything crazy anymore, or at least to say he would risk everything for her. He never said anything when she made that speech, which drove her insane. The only thing she was sure of was that he loved her. Where his head was—a whole other mystery.

“Kiss me, Janae.”

She squeaked. “What? No.”

She tried getting away, but he captured her, wrapping his arms around her waist and dragging her to his chest. He had regained much of the muscle he lost while he lay in a coma. She’d seen him shirtless. Except for scarring in places where he’d been hurt in the accident, his body was just as sexy as the last time they lay in bed together. Hell, the scars made him sexier.

“Let me go, Matt.”

“If you pull away too hard, you’re going to make me fall. I’m sure you don’t want that.”

“You’re blackmailing me.”

His lips touched her neck, and she shivered. Her eyelids fluttered as she struggled not to shut them and give in to his touch.

“Your nipples are hard.”

She jerked back. “You can’t feel them.”

He grinned and looked down. “I couldn’t, but I can see them. Nice.”

She hugged herself, glaring at him. The bastard was right. Not to mention her damn panties were wet. How the hell was she supposed to do this? She was failing bad, and soon Kyler would give up on the plan. Then she couldn’t see Matt.

I still want to see him. Just a little longer, please.

“The doctor has been talking about cutting down how often you need the therapist,” she said. “You only need the cane when you walk a lot or right after the exercise. You don’t need me any more.”

“I will always need you.”

Her stupid heart pumped faster. “You think you do, but you don’t. Matt, I’m serious. You can’t risk your life the way you were doing. It’s not fair to the people who love you. It’s not fair to yourself either.”

“What about you?”

She groaned and managed to get away from him to pace. “You love me too much. I don’t love you as much as you love me!”

He was quiet, and she looked over her shoulder at him. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

“You’re right,” he said. “You don’t, but that’s always been okay with me, because you do love me deeply, Janae. I doubted it after I heard that recording. Maybe you believed you were with me for the money. Maybe that’s the way it was in the beginning. I might be a sappy fool, but I’m not stupid. I can read people extremely well, and I know when a woman loves me.”

He stood, leaving the cane leaning against the wall. His limp was barely noticeable as he approached her and drew her into his arms.

“Kiss me, and prove me wrong that what you feel isn’t love.”

“I-I-I…”

The baby blues held a challenge in their depths. “Are you afraid?”

She made a noise of disgust. “Please, I don’t have to prove myself to you. I’m sure you don’t conduct business by kissing all your clients. Or maybe you do.”

His gaze narrowed. “Don’t play games with me, Janae.”

“I’m not.”

His mouth was so close to hers, and he bent her back just a little, forcing her body to align with his. She felt his hard-on pressing into her belly. Yep, that worked great. She gulped.

“Matt, please.”

He moved in closer. “Please, what?”

His hand came up behind her head and drove her forward just as he slanted his mouth over hers. Janae pushed at his chest and an instant later, she curled her fingers into his shirt and parted her lips. He raised her up so her feet left the floor. She broke off the kiss.

“Stop, Matt. You’ll hurt yourself.”

He ignored her protests and kissed her again. His cock settled between her legs, straining against his sweat pants. She couldn’t help herself but wrapped both arms around his neck. Darting her tongue out, she tasted his mouth and moaned. Matt’s hand slid to her ass, and he squeezed before easing lower. She knew where he was going and was helpless to stop him.

A cleared throat broke them apart, and Janae almost landed on the floor. Matt reached to keep her from falling and wrenched something in his leg. He grunted in pain, and she jerked away.

“Matt, are you okay?” She moved to his side to try to hold him up as he staggered.

The therapist sauntered over, taking his time. “See what happens when you’re supposed to be exercising instead of seducing beautiful women?”

“I’ve been cleared for sex,” Matt said, and Janae blushed. Matt ate up her embarrassment and grinned. “I asked.”

She released his arm and moved away. “Well, I don’t know who you’re going to have sex with because it’s not me. Have a nice day!”

He called after her, but she hightailed it out of there. She’d had enough temptation, and all she would have needed was for Kyler or Margaret to walk through the door instead of the therapist. For all she knew, the man might be reporting every detail of what she did and what she and Matt talked about to Kyler. She would have to be more careful from now on and put fifty feet between her and Matt, not to mention never being alone with him from now on.

“
H
ey
, Dad,” Janae said as she strolled into his office.

Her dad looked up from the pile of papers on his desk. “There are my girls.”

“Pop-pop, I’m here,” Nerea announced. She scurried over to him and raised her arms to be placed on his lap.

Janae’s dad laughed and hoisted her up. “I can see that. What have you been doing with yourself?”

“Playing. Guess what, Pop-pop.”

“What?”

Janae sank down in a chair as she watched her dad with her daughter. She didn’t regret one minute of letting him know she was back in Boston. Kyler hadn’t said she shouldn’t. She figured if they blackmailed her into leaving again, she could at least go knowing she had seen her dad again and he’d gotten to know his granddaughter.

“I’m going to school,” Nerea said with her little chest stuck out.

“You are? Wow, that must mean you’re a big girl.” Janae’s dad looked up at her.

“I am a big girl. Look at me, Pop-pop.”

Both Janae and her dad laughed. Janae explained. “She’s going to a head start program.”

He frowned. “Isn’t she too young?”

“She’s three, Dad. It’s not a big deal. Plus she gets bored so easily. I’m going to have her tested. I think we have a smart on our hands.”

“Takes after her granddad.”

Janae rolled her eyes when he stuck his chest out. “Everyone around me is full of themselves.”

Her dad pulled a drawer open and removed coloring books and crayons. He set Nerea up in a spot Janae had arranged for her little girl for when she visited her dad at his office. Janae had learned in the time she was away, her dad had a bad fall and broke his leg in several places. Arthritis had set in after the cast came off, and from then on it was desk work for him. She hadn’t expected Kyler or Margaret to let her know about the accident because her dad had probably dropped off their radar after they got their way by removing her from Boston.

“Dad, I think I’m coming to the end of helping Matt.”

Her dad stiffened and looked over at Nerea. “Did you convince him to let you go?”

Unbidden, the kiss rose in her thoughts, and it was as if she could feel Matt’s arms around her again and his lips on hers. Desire washed over her, and she waited until the sensation eased enough to answer her dad’s question.

“No, and I doubt I will. Even if he didn’t love me, he’s stubborn as all get out. He won’t let go unless he chooses to, not because I’m pushing him away.”

“Then don’t push.”

She eyed her dad. “Have you been listening to me, Dad? If I don’t push him away, he’ll think I love him.”

“I love you, Mommie,” Nerea piped up.

“I love you, too, pumpkin.” Janae bit her tongue. She needed to be careful what she said around her daughter.

“And her?” He nodded toward Nerea, who had gone back to coloring far outside the lines.

“What about her?” Janae knew what her dad was getting at. They’d had the argument a million times. The only thing she could find relief in knowing was that he had said he would respect her wishes. He wouldn’t tell Matt about Nerea.

“There’s nothing to discuss regarding that,” Janae said.

“Janae, I lied to him about where you were.”

“You didn’t lie. You didn’t know where I was. No one did. And after all of this is over with the therapy, I won’t see him anymore.”

“Is that what you want, baby girl? Because just like back then—what is it about three years now?”

“Four.”

“Four years ago, you were crying your eyes out when you learned you had to leave. I know those tears weren’t for me.”

“Dad, I love you, and I missed you.”

He harrumphed. “A father would love to keep his little girl all to himself, but your heart belongs to someone else. Janae, when do you get to follow your heart?”

“That’s a good question.”

He swiveled away from the desk and reached down to rub his knee.

“Do you want me to massage your leg, Dad? I learned a thing or two watching the physical therapist.”

“I’m fine. It doesn’t hurt.”

“Uh-huh. Here you were griping just now about having to lie.”

He gave her a sheepish look and then cleared his throat. “Anyway, if you’re worried about the Gonzalezes, you don’t need to be. Annie’s doctor told her the cancer is in remission. There’s every reason to believe she’ll live a full and prosperous life. Plus, since I can’t be out in the field anymore, I made George the lead on all projects. The position even came with a tiny raise so he doesn’t have to get a second job.”

“That’s so great, Dad. I’m glad.”

What she didn’t tell him was that while he had clients now and a good supply of business, at any time, Margaret could spitefully pull the plug. With her dad almost disabled, she couldn’t do anything to jeopardize his income. Especially since he had also used the extra money from her leaving her position to hire a replacement. She and he could figure out what they could do on less money, but another employee—a new one at that—wouldn’t think twice about abandoning him.

“You can stay, Janae.”

“I’m not sure about that.”

He pounded a fist on the table and winced when Nerea yelped in alarm. “Sorry, pumpkin.”