Go Tell the Bees That I Am Gone (32 page)

I thought of the cabin Jamie and Roger had found, a burnt shell, with the owners hanged from a tree before the house—and a young girl alive in the ashes, so badly burnt that she couldn’t live. We never discovered who had done it.

Jamie could see the thoughts cross my face. I might as well have a neon sign on my forehead, I thought crossly, and evidently he saw
that
one, too, for he smiled.

“There’s no law now, Sassenach,” he said. “Not wi’ the government gone.” There was neither fear nor passion in that statement—it was merely the truth of the matter.

“There never
has
been, up here. None but you, I mean.” That made him laugh, but I was just as right as he was.

“I didna come to rescue you alone, aye? That night?”

“No,” I said slowly. “You didn’t.” All the able-bodied men on the Ridge had answered his call for help and come out to follow him. Very much as his clansmen would have followed him to war, had we been in Scotland.

“So,” I said, taking a deep breath. “Those are the men you mean to…er…gang oot with?”

He nodded, looking thoughtful.

“Some of them,” he said slowly, and then glanced at me. “It’s different now,
a nighean.
There are men who were with me that night who willna follow me now, because they’re King’s men—Tories and Loyalists. The men who’ve kent me longest dinna mind so much that I was a rebel general—but there are a good many new tenants who dinna ken me at all.”

“I’m not sure that ‘Rebel General’ is a title you can lose,” I said.

“No,” he said, and smiled, though not with much humor. “Not without turning my coat. Aye, well.” He got to his feet and reached down a hand to pull me up in a rustle of leaves. “I’ve been a traitor for a long time, Sassenach, but I’d rather not be a traitor to both sides at once. If I can help it.”

Shouts and barking rang out from the trail above; the children had reached Ian’s house. We hurried after them and said no more of gangs, treason, or fat men in the dark.

NO ONE WENT TO
the Old Garden, as the family called it. The people on the Ridge called it the Witch-child's Garden, though not often in my hearing. I wasn't sure whether “witch-child” was meant to refer to Malva Christie herself or to her baby boy. Both of them had died in the garden, in the midst of blood—and in my company. She had been no more than nineteen.

I never said the name aloud, but to me, it was Malva's Garden.

For a time, I hadn't been able to go up to it without a sense of waste and terrible sorrow, but I did go there now and then. To remember. To pray, sometimes. And frankly, if some of the more hidebound Presbyterians of the Ridge had seen me on some of these occasions, talking aloud to the dead or to God, they would have been quite sure they had the right name, but the wrong witch.

But the woods had their own slow magic and the garden was returning to them, healing under grass and moss, blood turning to the crimson bloom of bee balm, and its sorrow fading into peace.

Despite the creeping transformation, though, some remnants of the garden remained, and small treasures sprang up unexpectedly: there was a stubbornly thriving patch of onions in one corner, a thick growth of comfrey and sorrel fighting back against the grass, and—to my intense delight—several thriving peanut bushes, sprung up from long-buried seeds.

I'd found them two weeks before, the leaves just beginning to yellow, and dug them up. Hung them in the surgery to dry, plucked the dry peanuts from the tangle of dirt and rootlets, and roasted them in the shell, filling the house with memories of circuses and baseball games.

And tonight, I thought, tipping the cooled nuts into my tin shelling basin, we'd have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for supper.

THERE WAS A
breeze on the porch, and I was grateful for it on my face after the heat of sun and hearth. Also a little welcome solitude: Bree had gone with Roger to call upon the tenants I still thought of as the fisher-folk—emigrants from Thurso, a dour lot of rock-ribbed Presbyterians who were deeply suspicious of Jamie as a Catholic, and much more of me. I was not only a Catholic but a conjure-woman, and the combination unsettled them to no little degree. They did like Roger, though, in a grudging sort of way, and the liking seemed reciprocal. He understood them, he said.

The children had done their chores and were scattered to the four winds; I heard their voices now and then, giggling and shrieking in the woods behind the house, but God only knew what they were doing. I was just pleased that they weren't doing it right in front of me.

Jamie was in his study, enjoying his own solitude. I'd passed by, carrying my big basin of peanuts outside, and seen him leaning back in his chair, spectacles on his nose, deeply absorbed in
Green Eggs and Ham.

I smiled at the thought, and pulled off the ribbon to loosen my hair so the cool breeze could blow through it.

We'd lost nearly all of our books in the fire that consumed the Big House, but were beginning to build up our tiny library again. Brianna's contributions had nearly doubled it. Aside from the books she'd brought—and thought of my precious
Merck Manual
still gave me a small thrill of possession—we had Jamie's small green Bible, a Latin grammar,
The Complete Adventures of Robinson Crusoe
(lacking a cover, but retaining most of its vivid illustrations), and Jonathan Swift's
Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World. In Four Parts. By Lemuel Gulliver, First a Surgeon, and then a Captain of Several Ships,
plus the odd novel in French or English.

The shells cracked easily, but the dry skins of the peanuts inside were light and papery and clung to my fingers. I'd been brushing them off on my skirt, which now looked as though I'd been attacked by a horde of pale-brown moths. I wondered whether Bree might borrow something interesting to read while she was house-visiting with Roger. Hiram Crombie, the headman of the Thurso folk, was a reading man, though his taste ran to collections of sermons and historical accounts; he thought novels depraved. He did have a copy of
The Aeneid,
though—I'd seen it.

Jamie had sent a letter to his friend Andrew Bell, an Edinburgh printer and publisher, asking him to send a selection of books, including copies of his own
A Grandfather's Tales
and my modest version of do-it-yourself household medicine, applying such monies as might have accrued to us in sales during the last two years toward the purchase of the other books in the order. I wondered when—and whether—those might arrive. So far as I knew, the British still held Savannah, but Charles Town remained in American hands; if Mr. Bell was prompt about it, there was hope of a late ship showing up book-laden before the winter storms.

Footsteps behind me interrupted my literary thoughts and I turned to see Jamie, barefoot and rumpled, tucking his spectacles back into his sporran.

“Enjoying your reading?” I asked, smiling.

“Aye.” He sat down beside me and picked a peanut out of the basin, cracked it, and tossed the nuts into his mouth. “Brianna says Dr. Seuss made a good many books. Have ye read them all, Sassenach?” He pronounced it “Soyce,” in correct German, and I laughed.

“Oh, yes. Many times. Bree had the whole set—or at least as many as were published then. I suppose she and Roger might have bought more for Jem and Mandy, if Dr. Seuss—the Americans say his name ‘Soos,' by the way—if he went on writing. I don't know how long he lived—will live,” I corrected. “He was still at it in 1968.”

He nodded, a little wistful.

“I wish I could see them,” he said. “But maybe Brianna will remember some o' the rhymes, at least.”

“Ask Jem,” I suggested. “Bree says he's read to Mandy since she was a baby, and he has an excellent memory.” I laughed, thinking of some of the Seuss illustrations. “Ask Bree if she can draw Horton the Elephant or Yertle the Turtle for you, from memory.”

“Yertle?” His face lighted with humor. “That's no a real name, is it?”

“No, but it rhymes with ‘turtle.' ” I cracked another nut and tossed the bits of shell into the grass.

“So does Myrtle,” he pointed out.

“Yes, but Yertle is a boy. No female turtle would have done what he did.”

Jamie was diverted; he paused with his hand in the basin.

“What did he do?”

“Made all of the turtles in Sala-ma-Sond build themselves into a tower so he could be King of all that he saw by sitting on top of them. It's an allegory about arrogance and pride. Not that females aren't capable of those emotions—just that they wouldn't do anything so easily illustrated.”

Jamie picked up a handful of peanuts and crushed them absentmindedly, nodding.

“Aye? And what sort of allegory is yon
Green Eggs and Ham
?” he demanded.

“I think it's intended to urge children not to be fussy about what they eat,” I said dubiously. “Or not to be afraid of trying new th— What are you doing?” For he'd dropped his handful of crushed peanuts into the basin, shells and all.

“Helping you,” he said, taking another handful. “You'll be about that all day, Sassenach, doing it one at a time.” He crushed the second handful and dropped it, debris and all, into the basin.

“But picking all the shells out of there will—”

“We'll winnow them,” he interrupted, turning and pointing with his chin toward the distant flank of Roan Mountain. “See the wind walkin' down through the trees? There's a storm a-boil.”

He was right: clouds were gathering behind the peak; the patches of pale aspen on the slope flickered as the rising wind touched their leaves, and the pines rippled in deep-green waves. I nodded and picked up several nuts to crush between my palms.

“Frank,” Jamie said abruptly, and I stopped dead. “Speakin' of books…”

“What?” I said, not at all sure I'd just heard him say
“Frank.”
He had, though, and a small sense of unease coiled up at the base of my spine.

“I need ye to tell me something about him.” His attention was fixed on the basin of peanuts, but he wasn't being casual about it.

“What?” I said again, but in an entirely different tone. I brushed peanut skins slowly off my skirts, my eyes on his face. He still wasn't looking at me, but his mouth compressed briefly as he crushed a fresh handful.

“The picture of him on his book—the photograph. I was only wondering, how old was he when that likeness was made?”

I was surprised, but considered.

“Let me see…he was sixty when he died…”
Younger than I am now…
My lower lip tucked in for a moment, quite involuntarily, and Jamie looked at me sharply. I looked down and brushed away more peanut fragments.

“Fifty-nine. He had that photograph taken for that particular book cover; I remember, because he'd used the same photograph—a different, older one, I mean—for at least six books before that, and he joked that he didn't want people meeting him for the first time to be looking over his shoulder for a man half his age.” I smiled a little, remembering, but met Jamie's eyes, feeling slightly wary. “Why do you ask?”

“I used to wonder—sometimes—what he looked like.” He looked down and reached into the basin, but with the air of a man looking for something distracting to do. “When I'd pray for him.”

“You
prayed
for him?” I didn't try to hide the amazement in my voice, and he glanced at me, then away.

“Aye. I—well, what else could I do for anybody then, but pray?” There was a tinge of bitterness to this; he heard it himself and cleared his throat. “ ‘God bless you, ye bloody Englishman!' is what I'd say. At night, ken, when I thought of you and the bairn.” His mouth tightened for an instant, then relaxed. “I'd wonder what the bairn looked like, too.”

I reached out and closed my hand on his wrist, big and bony, his skin cold from the wind. He stopped crushing nuts and I squeezed his wrist, gently. He let out his breath and his shoulders relaxed a little.

“Does Frank look like you thought he did?” I asked curiously. I took my hand off his wrist and he picked up another handful of peanuts.

“No. Ye never told me what he looked like…”
For bloody good reason. And you never asked,
I thought.
Why now?

He shrugged, and the twitch returned to his mouth, but now with a hint of humor.

“I liked thinkin' of him as a short-arsed wee man, maybe losing his hair and soft round the middle.” He glanced at me and shrugged. The twitch had returned again. “I thought he was intelligent, though—ye wouldna have loved a stupid man. And I got the spectacles right. Though I thought they'd have gold rims, not black. Horn, are they? Or dark tortoiseshell?”

I gave a small, amused snort. Still, the sense of unease was back.

“Plastic. And no, he wasn't stupid.”
Not at all.
And gooseflesh rippled briefly across my shoulders.

“Was he an honest man?” A soft crunch, the patter of peanuts and broken shells into the tin basin. The air was beginning to smell of oncoming rain and the rich, oily sweetness of peanuts.

“In most ways,” I said slowly, watching Jamie. His head was bent over the basin, intent on his work. “He kept secrets. But so did I.”
Love has room for secrets—you said that to me once.
I didn't think there was room between us now for anything but the truth.

He made a small Scottish sound in the back of his throat; I couldn't tell what he meant by it. He dropped the last handful of mangled shell into the basin and looked up to meet my eyes.

“Can I trust him, do ye think?” The clouded sky was still bright, and he was dark against it, wisps of hair flying free around his head. I shivered briefly, and my stomach shrank with the absurd but absolute conviction that someone was standing behind me.