Goalie Interference (NHL Scorpions) (20 page)

The ironic part is that I never got it anyway. I guess not too many men want to be saddled with a twenty-three year old single mother. I may have been better off staying with you, but we’ll never know, so it doesn’t rate thinking about.

I ask that you give Crystal a place in your heart. I gave her your name so that she might find you someday when she was ready. I thought I’d have time to explain things when she got older, but I don’t.

Please forgive me. I didn’t keep her from you out of spite or anger or anything else. I only did what I thought was best.

There’s one more thing I want you to know. I named her Crystal because it made me think about the way the ice in the rink would shine when it was fresh—before any skates marred the surface. And that made me think of you. I did care for you, very much.

Love her, Vlad. Open your heart and your home to her. Please. Give her all the love I won’t be able to. She is the best little girl you’ll ever know. She’s worth any sacrifice you may have to make. I swear it.

Carla

Zoe looked up at Vlad after reading the letter, her eyes bright with unshed tears. “Wow. Hard to hold a grudge after reading that, isn’t it? I can’t help but feel for her. I still don’t think there’s any excuse for not telling someone they have a child, but I understand a little better why she felt she needed to keep Crystal to herself. How did the letter make you feel?” Zoe cringed at her choice of words. Vlad
hated
when she went into ‘therapist mode’ with him.

He raised his eyebrow, but let it go. “I feel the same way you do. I can’t say I’m not mad, but who am I to say how I would have reacted back then? I just don’t know, and it really doesn’t matter now, does it?”

“No, it really doesn’t.” Zoe wasn’t sure how Vlad would take her next suggestion. “Vlad, I think I’m going to go home after breakfast. I’ll drop dopey dog off at Lacey’s on my way. Why don’t you and Crystal go do something together without me? I’ll entertain your family for the day, and we can meet back at my house this afternoon. We can order pizza or something.”

Vlad looked panicked. His eyes were darting around the room, and he fidgeted with the pan of eggs on the stove. “Uh, like what? What should we do?”

Zoe wanted to help him, she did, but she knew he had to figure some of it out on his own. “I don’t know. Maybe take her to the beach? You need to try to break down that wall she has around you. Just do it gently. Remember that she’s young and hurting and doesn’t know what to do with it.”

“Fuck, Zoe. I don’t know what to do with it either!”

“I know, but you’re the adult. You have to have patience with her.”

“Yeah, okay.” He didn’t feel like talking about it anymore. “Eggs are ready.”

“I’ll go get Crystal.”

Zoe found her on the bed reading
Green Eggs and Ham
by Dr. Seuss. “There won’t be any green eggs at the table today,” Zoe said with a smile. “But breakfast is ready.”

After they ate, Zoe told Crystal that she was going to take Izzy home and that she’d see them later. “You two can come to my house this afternoon and stay for dinner. How does that sound?”

“Do you have any animals?” Crystal asked.

“No, I don’t. But we can take a walk after dinner to get ice cream.”

“Okay.”

Vlad took Crystal to the store to buy a kite. She picked out Hello Kitty, and they drove to the beach. She still only gave one-word answers to direct questions he asked, and this point, he’d do just about anything if she would open up to him.

“Do you know how to fly a kite, Crystal?”

“No.”

Vlad took a breath. He knew that she was only trying to cope as best she knew how, but his frustration was mounting.

“Well, me neither. We’ll have to learn together, okay?” He didn’t expect an acknowledgment and didn’t get one. He read the directions, put the kite together, and got it in the air. Finally, she looked interested.

“Do you want to hold it?”

“Yes! Please.”

As soon as he gave it to her, her face lit up. For the first time since she showed up on his doorstep, he felt like a father. “That’s it. Good job, Little Bit!”

She faltered at the sound of the nickname Vlad had given her and let go of the kite. Vlad tried to grab it, but it went sailing away. Crystal looked at him, lip trembling.

He opened his arms to her, and to his ultimate surprise, she launched herself into them. “Oh, it’s okay, sweetheart. I know you didn’t mean to let it go. We’ll get another one.”

Through her hiccupping cries, he heard her say, “Why does everything go away?”

He thought of a million things he could say, but none that would make any difference. It obviously wasn’t the kite she was crying over. He settled on the truth. “I don’t know, little bit, sometimes they just do.” He continued to hold her until her hiccups subsided, and she became her normal stoic self.

She pushed away from him, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. “Sorry.”

Sad that she had put her walls back up, he took her hand and led her to the car. “Should we go get another kite, or do you want to go to Zoe’s now?”

“Zoe’s, please.”

It was a silent drive, but when they walked into Zoe’s house, Crystal’s eyes lit up. It was clear that she felt more comfortable at Zoe’s. He understood. He was a guy, and his place was a bachelor’s pad, while Zoe’s place was homey. What little girl, especially one who had just lost her mother, wouldn’t want a cozy, happy home to stay in?

Vlad walked up to her and kissed her on the cheek. “Hi, Zoe.”

“Hi to you, too.” She walked over to Crystal and, very casually, gave her a kiss on the cheek. “How was your day? Did you and your father have fun?”

“I lost our kite.” She burst into tears and hugged Zoe around the waist. She held on so tight, Zoe had to struggle not to push her away to take a breath.

Over Crystal’s head, she looked at Vlad with questioning eyes. His face reflected his shock at Crystal’s outburst. He apparently thought she was all cried out. Zoe gently but firmly turned the girl into Vlad’s arms.

He picked her up and held her tight. Stroking her hair, he crooned in her ear, “Shhh, it’s okay, little bit. It’s okay.” He simply let her cry and felt something soften inside him when he felt her little arms squeeze him tight. That was his daughter clutching him for comfort. He’d never felt so big. He felt like he could rope the moon! He kissed her cheek and put her down, kneeling before her.

“We’ll get another kite if you want, and I’ll tie it to your wrist so it doesn’t go away ever again, okay?” He knew replacing the lost kite wasn’t the cure all, but felt it was important to give her the option of replacing it.

She sniffled and wiped her nose on her sleeve. “Okay.”

Apparently their moment was over as she looked at Zoe. “I’m hungry.”

Dinner was a lively affair. Vlad’s family was at the beach when he and Crystal had arrived. Shortly before dinner, they bounded noisily into the house talking about the warm sixty-degree weather. The temperature in Ukraine that time of year hovered around forty.

After devouring two slices of pizza each and some cheese fries, Crystal and the triplets fell asleep on the couch watching
The Lion King.

Vlad and Zoe had some time to themselves as they did the dishes. The rest of his family was busy packing for their early morning flight. “So, how was your day? Was it awful when Crystal lost the kite?”

“Well, I know this sounds really bad, but I was glad it happened. She ran to me, Zoe. She actually ran to me. Granted, she burst into tears, but she ran to me for comfort. Hell. She’s going to have me wrapped around her little finger in no time at all. I don’t think there’s anything I wouldn’t do for her. We briefly talked about my buying her a pony. A pony, for Christ’s sake!” He tried to act outraged, but his sappy smile gave him away.

“Sounds like progress. Vlad, things like that are going to affect her more than they would another child for quite a while. We see it as having to buy another kite. She sees it as something that left her and can’t be replaced. She understands that you didn’t know about her in her head, but her heart most likely feels like you abandoned her. It’s going to take time, but it sounds like you had a good day. She certainly doesn’t seem as leery of you today.”

“No, she’s not. She’d still prefer you, I think, but it’s progress. She mentioned wanting to stay here tonight. Do you think it would be the wrong thing to do if I told her no? I don’t want her to think of you as the good guy and me as the one she’s stuck with.”
Shit, that didn’t sound right.
“No, wait. I didn’t mean that I don’t want her to love you, of course I do …”

Zoe raised her hand to stop him. “Vlad,
please,
don’t think about us right now. I get it. Concentrate on your daughter. I’ll tell her that I have to leave on business or something, and she can’t stay tonight. But, so she knows I’m not leaving her, are you okay with my telling her that she can stay another time?”

When Zoe had raised her hand up to him, he realized that he still hadn’t placed a ring on her finger. He wanted to rectify that as soon as possible. Maybe that was something he and Crystal could do together. Girls liked jewelry. “Absolutely. Thanks again, Zoe. I love you. Have I told you that today?” Crystal walked in on them kissing.

“Ew, yuck.” She walked right back out again, shaking her head in disgust.

Zoe and Vlad burst out laughing. “Well, that was a typical eight-year-old reaction.” Vlad followed Crystal back into the living room to see what she needed.

“Where are the girls?”

“They got called upstairs to pack their things.”

Vlad waited for her to tell him what she wanted, but she stayed quiet. “What did you want when you came into the kitchen, honey?”

She looked up at him with those cornflower blue eyes that looked so like his mother’s, but didn’t answer him. He didn’t get it. One minute she was hugging him, and the next, she wouldn’t even answer a direct question.

“Well? Did you need me?”

“No.”

Vlad clenched his teeth, searching for patience. “Did you need Zoe?”

“No.”

“Crystal, you must have needed something. What is it?”

“Nothing.”

“Okay. I give up.” Vlad threw up his hands and stormed out of the room. He passed Zoe on his way out and continued walking right out the door until he was standing on the deck listening to the sound of the waves crashing against the shoreline.

A couple of minutes passed before the door opened, and Vlad turned to see his mother standing there. “Did you lose your patience, Vladimir?”

“Yes, Mother, I did. I don’t know what the hell she wants from me. I don’t know what to do, and when I ask her, she doesn’t answer me. God, am I an idiot for thinking I can be a father to her? I don’t even know how to break through to her.”

Emma started laughing. She was actually laughing at him! “I don’t find this even remotely fucking funny, Mother.”

She tried to erase her smile, but he could still see it tugging at her lips. “Of course not, dear, but watch your language. You don’t want your daughter to hear you talking like that. And your father would backhand you. Are you done now?”