God Don't Like Haters 2 (6 page)

I questioned Sundi about the rumors when we
were having sex at Hotel d'Angleterre in Geneva, Switzerland. I had
her bent over an enormous bed in our upscale suite, fucking her in
her then 20-year-old pussy from behind. I didn't like what I was
feeling. Her walls felt looser.

"Is he a better lover than me?" I had asked
her then, right in the middle of sex.

She turned and looked at me with her brow
creased in a fierce mask of sexual confusion. I was still pounding
her as she stared and moaned.

"Answer me," I said.

"You asked me a question?"

"Yes!" I thrust inside of her harder. "Is
Yayo Love better than me? He must not be if you're still taking
this dick!"

Angry, she tried to break free from our sex
position. But I managed to get a few more pumps in before she was
able to twist her body and knock my hands off of her hips. She
stood and smacked me across the face.

"Don't you ever talk to me like that!" she
yelled at me, pointing her finger in my face. "I am not a
whore!"

"You're not?"

She tried to smack me again but I grabbed her
wrist.

"Let me go!"

"Are you fucking Yayo Love or not?"

"I won't dignify that question with a
response."

I squeezed her wrist harder and she winced.
"Answer me!" I ordered. "Did you fuck him?"

"No!" she screamed.

I let her wrist go, and she pushed me. I
wanted to punch her right in her pretty little mouth, like I had
done Jazzmine once, and ruin her purple MAC lips that she'd
probably swallowed Yayo Love's cum with, but I couldn't pull myself
to swing on her. I didn't know if she could take a punch like
Jazzmine could.

"I'm not a whore, La'Renz. If I'm sleeping
with you, then that means I'm only sleeping with you. I may be
young, but I still have my dignity."

"You can't have too much dignity," I replied.
"I'm married and you're still fucking me."

"Because I'm in love with you!"

She stormed off, heading for the bathroom. I
caught up with her and grabbed her arm and spun her naked body
toward me.

"What did you just say?"

"I'm in love with you!" she cried, as tears
poured down her cheeks. "I can't believe you, of all people, who
knows those blogs are full of shit, are actually feeding into that
crap about me and Yayo Love."

"If you're in love with me, then what were
yall doing in that club together, huh? You were on his lap, he was
kissing you ..."

"You assigned Yayo Love to me as an artist,
La'Renz! Does the cocaine have you that gone?"

"I wanted you to build his career, not his
sex life."

"Listen here, you arrogant son of a bitch.
Yayo Love personally asked me to come to that club to celebrate his
birthday with him."

I scoffed. "He didn't ask me to come."

"He doesn't like you and you know that."

"Clearly he likes you."

"He does. And when that guy asked to take a
picture of us in VIP, Yayo pulled me onto his lap and kissed me
right before the snapshot was taken because he was drunk. I smiled
even though I felt uncomfortable as hell. But I never slept with
him." She was trying to stare me down, but her eyes were so full of
tears she couldn't stop blinking. "I thought you would be glad that
the media suspected me and Yayo of being involved."

"Why the hell would you think that?"

"La'Renz, if they think I'm
seeing 
him
, then they won't see what's really going on
between 
me and you.
"

Because of my pride, I still threw her out of
my suite that day. I actually pushed her in the back of the head on
her way out of the room and slammed the door before she could get
her lick back. We didn't have sex again until after she did an
online video interview for GabbyTV that finally put the rumors to
rest. She did the interview of her own volition. She denied ever
being romantically involved with the rapper Yayo Love. "He's just
an artist I represent as his A&R and we were having fun," she
said. "I'm actually in love with someone who I wish not to
name."

And now, seven years later, my doubts about
Sundi Ashworth's loyalty were starting to surface again. As the
image of her and Eliyah's snuggly Site pic danced in my mind, I
felt like I'd been stupid to believe Sundi was on my side. Eliyah
slept with my 
wife
 for God's sake, so it was only
fitting that he bed my mistress too.

I unlocked Sundi's phone with the swipe of my
thumb, as I heard her behind me searching the room for a mixtape
that was probably already in Eliyah's hands. I scrolled through her
call log to see if she had made a call to anyone last night,
particularly Eliyah Golomb. There were none. No incoming and no
outgoing, at least not within the hours we'd been at her place. But
that didn't mean a thing. With today's technology, she could have
sent an e-mail or made a video call or tipped him off through an
inbox on The Site. There were myriads of ways to communicate
nowadays.

"I found it!"

I turned around and saw Sundi holding up the
CD.

"Where was it?" I asked.

She pointed to my laptop bag. "It was stuffed
in the side pocket, you idiot."

Now I was really feeling stupid. My cheeks
flushed with embarrassment.

She sauntered up to me, wagging the CD in the
air. She was throwing her hips forward as she approached, a walk
that used to be sexy by stage performers in the 1960s. I
laughed.

"Now can I have my phone back so I can send
this Kirbie Amor girl a Site message?" she said. "Or are you not
finished acting like a sad, jealous boyfriend?"

Sundi Ashworth > Kirbie Amor:
Hello,
Kirbie, my name's Sundi Ashworth (A&R) and I'm sending you this
message in regards to my interest in your musical talent. I'm a
representative of a major record label, and I think you and your
voice have the potential to become one of the biggest artists this
industry has ever seen. This is not spam. This is for real. My
profile page will confirm my authenticity. If you would like to
further your career and become a household name, please reply as
soon as possible. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank
you.

Chapter 9

Kirbie Amor Capelton

Night time in LA. And I felt good.

I was a back seat passenger right now. And
that was fine by me; I could Site surf in peace. Archie and Mark
Beltrán were up front. Mark, who had been supplying us
with 
Purple Gorilla
 ecstasy pills since forever,
was now going to introduce us to his cocaine connection. He was
driving his Porsche Panamera Turbo across Los Angeles like it was
supposed to be the only car on the road. He'd occasionally stick
his head out of the window and curse out a slow driver in Spanish
as we zoomed around him (or her). Mark was hot-tempered to people
he didn't know, but he was the best to me and Archie. Every now and
then I would look up from my phone after hearing him curse someone
and I would see a beautiful fan or feather-topped palm tree that
caught my eye, but I had been back and forth to this city for so
long that the landscape was becoming less and less appealing.

"I appreciate this," Archie said to Mark.

"No
problema
," Mark replied, as he
shifted down to accommodate a red traffic light. The sound of the
engine purring down was melodic. It reminded me of music, which I
had sworn off.

But it was impossible to nix something
overnight that you'd been passionate about your whole life. Right
now I was scrolling through a trending feed on The Site where users
were discussing the Sprint Center. I shouldn't have been on this
newsfeed—
why are you torturing yourself, Kirbie?
—but I
was. I was curious, yet still glad me and Archie left town when we
did. If I had been in Kansas City when I told Coras I wasn't doing
the Sprint Center, he would have probably showed up at me and
Archie's house, and who knows what would've transpired between my
fiancé and my labelmate—er, 
ex
-labelmate. And Coras
wouldn't have showed up because he loved me, but because I was
simply his "investment." How lame was that?

Fuck Coras,
 I
thought. 
I'm nobody's property.

As Mark and Archie talked up front, I
continued reading the feed about the Sprint Center rap event:

Debra Mcree:
I just saw Yayo Love backstage!
#SprintCenter

Stylist Samara Mayes:
Did the show start
already? #SprintCenter

Cherri TooGrownForGames:
No, they're still
seating people. It's so unorganized right now. I've never seen this
many people. #SprintCenter

Makea WorkingWoman Price:
Yayo Love is my
future baby daddy! #YayoLove #LoveChild #SprintCenter

Leonard Mathis:
I have two tickets for sale!
Front row seats! Inbox me. Serious inquiries only!
#SprintCenter

Mitch tiredofballin Walker:
All these bitches
on here are screaming about Yayo Love. He ain't had a hot 16 in
years! WTF??? Yall need to be supporting the Kansas City artist
Coras Bane that's opening up for Yayo. That's the only reason I'm
going #CorasBane #KC #SupportLocalArtists #FuckYayo

Mendi AplayasPlaya Robinson
: Yayo Love look
like a mufuckin uuuuuuhhhh

Natasha YoloLife Anderson:
Lol! ^^^

Trillyoung Sav:
I'm coming to see Coras
too!

Danielle Bryant:
Me too I know Coras from
high school

SimplyTru Anjanette:
I'm going to hear Kirbie
Amor sing! I love that bitch. #MyFavoriteSinger
#NextToCayleneHope

Peter Lewis:
Kirbie and Coras are the
shit!

Tabitha Alston:
Yayo Love is cool. Can't hate
on him. He's killing the Billboards right now.

Mitch tiredofballin Walker:
Billboard ranking
doesn't equal talent! All that ranking does is tell you who's
popular. Coras Bane has talent. And I forgot about Kirbie. She's
dope too. #SprintCenter

Shan Lovingmeandhim Joseph:
Kirbie can sing
in real life. I've been to one of her performances. I'm anxious to
hear Convenient For Me performed live. #SprintCenter

"Kirbie!" Archie said to me, pulling my gaze
away from my phone.

"Huh?" I said.

"Are you paying attention?"

I hadn't been. My heart was beating fast
because Site users were commenting about me and Coras in a better
light than Yayo Love, who was supposed to be the main attraction.
It was an incredible feeling, but also a terrible downer because I
wouldn't be able to experience the event. I was over sixteen
hundred miles away in "The Golden State" on a cocaine run.

Regret was started to gnaw at my conscience
now. I felt like I wasn't supposed to be here.

"You need to be listening," Archie grumbled
at me. "Stay off that damn phone. Mark just said we can't have our
guns when we get to the meet."

"Okay," I said.

Mark, who was looking at me through the
rearview, said to me, "Congratulations on the engagement. I knew
you and Archie were soulmates."

"Thank you, Mark."

"When are yall gonna have babies?"

I laughed. "We don't even know if we want
kids."

"We do," Archie added. "We just know that
right now isn't the time."

Mark nodded. "I understand a hundred percent.
A baby would get in the way of Kirbie's music career."

There was an awkward silence.

Archie broke it. "Kirbie's not doing music no
more."

Mark jerked his head at Archie, then up at
the rearview mirror where he could see me in the back seat. His
eyes were full of ... disappointment. "Kirbie, say it ain't
so."

"The music wasn't going anywhere," I said. "I
was getting tired of it."

"But you have real talent. Way more talent
than me, and I can't say that about a lot of people. If I could rap
like you could sing, I'd be a billionaire by now."

"Thank you, Mark."

"Don't quit,
mami.
I felt like
quitting rapping too at one point but I'm still pushing. You gotta
keep pushing if you know you're good at something."

I sort of admired Mark. He was a terrible
rapper but he had the confidence of a skilled lyricist. I used to
have that spirit inside of me. I wanted to tell him that people
like us weren't meant for the limelight, that we were born and bred
for street hustling—but I couldn't form the words because there was
still a tiny light inside of me that was clinging to the music
illusion. I wanted it to die.

"If I was living here in LA, maybe I'd still
be pursuing it," I told him. "But in Kansas City it's too hard to
get noticed. The music scene is dim compared to everywhere
else."

"That just means you have to work harder. Or
move to another city."

Archie chimed in. "That's enough, homie," he
said, nudging Mark with his elbow playfully. "It took me forever to
convince Kirbie to leave that music alone. I don't need you to
plant no more ideas in her head."

Mark ignored him, and instead of looking at
me through the rearview, Mark actually turned around and looked at
me directly with eyes of the deepest brown hue I'd ever seen on a
Mexican man. "Chase your dreams,
mami
," he said earnestly.
"Fuck what Archie is talking about. He's a hater. He don't
understand music souls like us."

It was right now that I noticed how handsome
and kind-hearted Mark was. I felt really bad for not liking his
music in return.

Archie tapped him. "Green light, nigga.
Go."

Mark turned back around, piloting the Porsche
through the intersection and onward through the tight LA traffic.
His eyes caught mine in the rearview again. "I'm serious. Chase
your dreams."

But my dreams have changed
, I thought
as I leaned back into the leather seat. I adopted Archie's dreams.
We were here in LA to cop some kilos of cocaine that would make us
the biggest hustlers in the Midwest.