God Save the Queen (The Immortal Empire) (42 page)

“Would you have believed me?” He gave me a kind smile. “It was something you needed to find out for yourself, especially since I wasn’t one hundred per cent certain.”

“And it doesn’t … bother you?”

He ran a big hand up my leg. “To be honest, I find it kind of sexy.”

Smiling, I leaned back against the porcelain, warmed by the water. “Really? You reckon it’s sexy to date someone who could decide to eat you?”

His lips tilted lopsidedly and his eyes began to sparkle. “You can nibble on me whenever you want. Do I get to eat you too?”

Blood rushed to my cheeks – and other places. “Well …” My words turned into a squeal as Vex grabbed both my ankles and jerked me through the water towards him. I had to hold on to the sides to keep from going under. He caught me around the back
with one arm and hauled me up so that I straddled him, our chests pressed together. One move of my hips and he’d be all mine.

I hadn’t realised it through all the anger and hurt, but I desperately needed someone. I needed him. He was the one thing I felt I could depend on. Church had made me doubt him – even if it was for just a second – and I felt like shit for it.

“What would you have done if you’d arrived at Curzon Street and they’d got the better of me?”

“I would have killed them all,” I replied, honestly.

That was the end of our conversation. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled my head down to his.

Water was all over the floor by the time we climbed out of the bath. Vex had food and wine sent up and we had supper in his room, where I told him everything that had happened, including my suspicions that Duncan had been experimented on, and my certainty that Church had known about it.

I expected him to fly into a rage, but instead he just looked sad, and I realised I was seeing him as a father whose pain for his son was greater than his rage. I didn’t know what to do for him, so I put my hand over his and sat in silence with him.

A little while later I spoke. “What do I do, Vex? All I have against Church are the papers I copied and my own interpretation of events. It might be enough to start an investigation, but it’s not enough to put Church away. He’s the one who shot Queen V’s assailant, so he’s in her favour at the moment, despite me taking the bullet. And I still don’t have all the answers I want.”

“You may never,” he cautioned. “Make no mistake, though – one of us is going to have to kill Churchill. If not sooner then later.”

“I know.” I didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want to think about any of it.

“My people and I are here for you, whatever you need.”

“Wolves and goblins,” I said with mock pomposity. “I must be the shit, what?”

He didn’t even crack a grin at my false bravado. “You need to be careful. Christ only knows who else is involved.”

“Do you think I should go public with what I am?” The thought made my stomach drop.

“It would make it harder for some to get to you, but would make you a target for others …” His gaze locked with mine. “Unless you asked the prince for protection.”

I ran a hand through my hair – it was a tangled mess. “I’m not sure I want to broadcast my freakitude. And I’m not sure I want to embrace my inner goblin. Fang me, I wish I had never stumbled upon any of this.”

“If you hadn’t, you might have played right into the vampires’ hands. Your mother and your sisters would be dead. Look, you don’t have to do anything right this minute. Think about it and figure out what to do after the knighting ceremony. You’ll be a lot harder to get rid of with a title attached to your name.”

I flopped back on the bed. “Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be knighted, and now that it’s happening I can’t even fucking enjoy it.”

Vex reached over and took my hand. He rubbed his thumb over my knuckles. “Enjoy it now. You’re safe here, and you don’t have to worry about anything while you’re inside these walls. Concentrate on some happiness.”

“My God, I love you.” As soon as the words left my mouth I knew how they sounded. I would have said the same to Avery, or even Emma, but it wasn’t to a sister or a friend, it was the man I was sleeping with.

He laughed – a loud bark I felt right down to my toes. “Relax, sweetheart. I’m not going to bolt for the Highlands just because you said the ‘L’ word. I know what you meant.”

My face burned, but I was so relieved. And a titch disappointed.
What had I expected? That he’d declare undying devotion to me now and for ever? Bollocks.

I watched as he lifted his hand to my face. He stroked the pad of his thumb between my eyebrows. “Don’t frown, lass. I’m not making sport. I care about you too. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

He lay down beside me. I moved so he could slide an arm beneath me and pull me close against his chest. It was amazing, the restorative powers of a hug and a snog.

Afterwards, we went to bed, though dawn was still a couple of hours away. I was bone tired, but not ready to go to sleep. “Tell me what it was like early in the plague. I want to know what it was like to not have rotaries. Do you remember when the first motor carriage was built?”

“Aye, I had one,” he replied, and proceeded to tell me all about it – and how he could run faster than it drove. He told me about parties and events I’d only read about in my history textbooks. His voice and the stories gave me a sense of grounding, as though the entire world hadn’t shifted beneath my feet.

I fell asleep to the sound of his voice describing what it was like to be a wolf on his estate in Scotland, where he had acres to run with his pack, and until I woke up the next afternoon, I forgot to be afraid. I forgot everything.

I hid at Vex’s until the evening of the knighting ceremony. Avery was pissed off that I didn’t come home and let her help me get ready. She thought I was at Vex’s so I could get a regular shagging, not because he was worried that Church might come after me – which surprisingly hadn’t happened. Vex told me to invite her and Emma over for dinner beforehand – as if I could eat with my nerves the way they were.

That was another thing – I had realised that after attacking Ophelia, I’d lost my usual hearty appetite. It returned earlier today, and I wondered if blood sustained me better than actual food. A bit of a disturbing thought, though my stomach growled cheerfully at it.

It was good having my sister there, and Emma too. They helped me get dressed and do my face and hair. Vex had pack business to attend to, so I enjoyed the company. Avery and her chatter made me feel normal again. Like maybe everything was going to be fine after all.

“I wish Dede could see you,” she whispered after pinning the last lock of my hair in place.

Tears threatened, but I blinked them away. “I wish she was here too.” And I did. I would give anything to go back and somehow change it so she never got mixed up with the insurgents. Hell, I’d go back and make sure she never got involved with Ainsley. He was the one who’d ruined her life for her. I’d like to go back and change things for both of us.

“But I’m glad the two of you will be there,” I told them, putting on a smile.

“Val should be here any minute, if he’s not already,” my sister informed me. Her lips curved despite her watery eyes. “You look so beautiful, Xandy.”

I stood up and hugged her. “Thank you. So do you.” She wore black because she was still in mourning for our sister who wasn’t really dead. Emma too, which I thought was quite sweet seeing as how Dede was no relation to her.

I, however, was not wearing black. I was wearing a dove-grey silk gown that was subdued enough to please Her Majesty, and shiny enough to please me. It had a boned bodice embroidered with birds in a darker grey. The skirt was layered, and pulled up in the front to reveal a feathered petticoat beneath. The shoulder
straps were wide and left my arms bare, so I tugged on matching gloves that came to just above my elbows. I had boots dyed to match, the heels of which were hourglass-shaped and inset with onyx stones.

Avery had curled and pinned my hair so that it was a huge, elaborate thing adorned with feathers that matched my dress. I wore Tahitian pearls in my ears and around my neck, and I’d done a full face, complete with false eyelashes.

Oh, and I had my gun in my bustle – just in case. And my dagger in my boot.

I hadn’t been so well turned out since graduation from the Academy. I’d lost my virginity that night. Hopefully tonight would prove more satisfactory than that one had.

We went downstairs and found not only Vex waiting for us, but Val too. I gave my brother a good hard hug. It felt like forever since I’d seen him. He looked tired, but otherwise well, and the solid black of his clothing suited his colouring.

Vex had gone all out as well. His thick hair was neat, his jaw freshly shaved. He was dressed in black and white – the standard evening attire for the aristocracy – but instead of trousers he wore a formal black kilt with tall, thick-soled boots.

“You look fetching,” I told him. “Sexy knees.”

He grinned. “Thank you. You don’t think I’ll overshadow you?”

I rolled my eyes and took his arm. “I reckon my ego can take it.”

The five of us took Vex’s carriage to Buckingham Palace. The ceremony used to be held at St Paul’s, but the Queen didn’t like to leave the palace much – not since the Great Insurrection. She had people come to her whenever possible, and since the cathedral was in the more human part of the city, it simply wasn’t safe.

The Royal Guard was out in full force when we arrived. I recognised all of them, and it took me twice as long to get inside
because they all wanted to congratulate me. My chest ached with gratitude. I missed my colleagues. I just wanted to get back to work and back to normal as quickly as possible.

I knew that wasn’t going to happen. Tonight, however, I was going to pretend.

The night lit up with flashes as we walked into the palace. Certain reporters from aristo-friendly papers were allowed to photograph particular events. They were subjected to intense security measures, and only allowed so far into the palace, but apparently they thought it was worth the chance to catch a glimpse of the aristocracy. Their papers certainly cashed in on it. Humans might hate us, but a lot of them were fascinated by us. I suppose it had always been that way, even before the plague.

Inside, we were met by my father and his countess. She smiled tightly at me, but her blue eyes were flat and cold. I was surprised she was even here, but it wasn’t for me. She was here for Vardan, and for the press outside.

My father hugged me. “I’m so very proud of you, Alexandra.”

Two months ago I would have melted at those words. I would have teared up. Now … well, I felt somewhat empty. He knew what I was, and he’d let them take my blood and ply me with drugs to keep me looking and acting the way he wanted me to look and act. Any extra interest he’d ever had in me was no more than the attention a child paid to a science project.

“Thank you, Father.” I turned to his wife. “Your Grace, how lovely of you to come. You look very well this evening.” I only said it to force her to speak, and even then she merely thanked me. Cow.

We went into the ballroom – where I’d been shot just a short while ago – and were shown to our seats. There were two other honours being bestowed this evening, and my knighthood was last.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Churchill enter. He met my gaze almost immediately, as though he’d been looking for me. I glared at him, but he smiled serenely and nodded in greeting. I noticed he wore a red cravat, and knew without doubt that he’d done so to intentionally remind me of slitting his throat. He was a bit twisted that way. He was a bit twisted
every
way.

I wouldn’t say it to anyone, but I was a little afraid as I looked away. Churchill wasn’t a man who gave up. He wanted me as his wife or dead, and he wouldn’t stop until he had succeed. I would never marry him, so that only left him one choice. I wasn’t sure I could kill him if the opportunity arose. I suppose I was a little twisted too, because part of me still loved him.

He sat a couple of rows ahead and to the left of me. Was he here just to make me squirm? He couldn’t actually believe I wanted him here. But then, my wants wouldn’t matter, would they? He was here because people would talk if he wasn’t.

Vex squeezed my fingers. I squeezed back. He might seem relaxed, but I could feel the tension in his muscles where his arm pressed against mine. We couldn’t even enjoy sitting together – and him wearing a skirt with probably nothing underneath.