Goddess of the Sea (20 page)

“Do not worry, Undine,” Gaea reassured her. “I choose who can see and hear me.” A brief grimace marred her lovely face. “And none here will be allowed to hear me but you.”

“I'm a little surprised to see you.” CC gestured around at the monastery. “In here, anyway.”

The corners of Gaea's eyes crinkled with her smile. “You might be surprised, Daughter, to learn that even here I have not been completely forgotten. But that is not why I have come.” She sat up. The sparkling fabric of her gown drifted sensuously around her. “You look thirsty, Daughter.” She clapped her manicured hands together and ordered, “Wine, please!”

Immediately a pewter goblet, decorated with vines and flowers, appeared in her hand. CC blinked in surprise and the goddess pointed to a spot on the ground in front of CC, where an identical goblet had appeared.

“I think you will enjoy the taste. Cernunnos gifted me with this particular vintage during the last fertility festival.” She sipped and sighed happily. “He certainly knows wine.”

CC took the goblet and lifted it to her lips. The wine was golden in color and so cold it hurt her teeth. As she took a drink the bubbles that broke the surface tickled her nose, and she almost sneezed. Then her eyes opened wide in amazement.

“It's champagne! The most delicious champagne I've ever tasted!” She grinned up at the goddess. “After the day I'm having, I can sure use some of this.”

“I thought you would appreciate it. Now, child, tell me what has troubled you.”

CC sipped and talked. “Andras can't be the one.”

“Andras is that tall, handsome warrior who pulled you from the water?” Gaea inquired with a purr in her voice.

CC nodded and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, but he's not Mr. Hero. As a matter of fact, the more time I spend with him, the more he reminds me of Abbot William.”

Gaea's face twisted in a frown. “Abbot William! That silly child. He is terrified of everything he cannot control or understand, which means he is filled with bitterness and rage, especially towards women. He is a eunuch.” The goddess looked like she wanted to say more, but instead she took a deep drink from her goblet. Shaking her head as if to free her thoughts, she asked. “Are you certain the warrior and he are the same?”

“Well, I don't think Andras is exactly like him; actually sometimes he can be very charming. And I understand that it's a different world with different beliefs, but he sure doesn't respect women, and I've spent the last seven years working hard at being respected—so that's a major strike against him. The truth is, I'm just not interested in him, even if he is the classic knight in shining armor and I should swoon at the thought of him sweeping me off my feet.” CC sighed and took another drink of the delicious champagne. “Is Abbot William really a eunuch?”

Gaea made a scoffing noise in the back of her throat. “Not physically—I refer to the way he has chosen to live his life. He hides behind the robes of priesthood and uses his position for selfish reasons. He is not fit to serve any God. Be wary of him. He is a desperate, lonely man, and he should be pitied, but always remember that unacknowledged despair can make men dangerous.”

“I'll be careful. It was pretty easy to see that he didn't like me. And it's not that I think that Andras is the same kind of man as he is, it's just that the knight seems to parrot Abbot William's beliefs without thinking for himself.”

Gaea's eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “I do not like the sound of that.”

“So, does it have to be him?” CC blurted.

“Explain
it
,” the goddess said.

“You know, that whole my true love thing. Does it have to be Andras—or if it does, is it enough for him to love me without me loving him back?”

The goddess tossed back her hair and laughed again, and even though she had assured CC that no one else could hear her, CC's eyes restlessly searched the clearing for listeners.

“Daughter, how you make me laugh! True love is not a potion one person can swallow and another refuse to drink. It happens only when the souls of two join together to form one.”

“Well, I don't think I'm going to be joining my soul with Andras's. I don't even like it when he kisses my hand,” CC said.

“That does not bode well for true love,” the goddess agreed.

They drank together in thoughtful silence.

CC cleared her throat and glanced up at Gaea. “Um, speaking of kissing, do you know anything about a merman named Dylan?”

Gaea studied the young woman who inhabited her daughter's body. She was truly coming to care for this child and not just because she felt obligated to watch over her. She was special, this young one—curious and outspoken and witty. It would be a lovely thing, to have this remarkable child live beside her as her daughter forever. But Gaea recognized the longing the girl was trying hard to mask. The goddess smiled sadly at the irony. She finally had a daughter who could be gifted with the ability to exist on land, and the child was falling in love with the sea. Sometimes life was surprising, even for a goddess.

“I know Dylan well. He was Undine's playmate of old.” Gaea raised her delicate eyebrows at the girl. “What is this about kissing?”

CC felt her cheeks warm. “Well, it's just that I feel different when Dylan kisses me.” Now her cheeks were practically on fire. She never could talk to her mother about sex—apparently that meant
any
mother, even if she was a goddess.

“So, the merman has kissed you?”

CC could hear the smile in Gaea's voice, but she didn't look up at the goddess. Instead she busied herself with drinking the last drop of champagne.

“Too bad that's gone,” she said, trying to avoid the kissing subject she had bumbled into. “It was delicious.”

Gaea snapped her fingers and suddenly the goblet had refilled itself.

“Thank you!” CC took another long drink. This time she did sneeze at the bubbles.

“The merman kissed you?” Gaea repeated insistently.

CC nodded.

“And you found pleasure in his touch?” Gaea asked.

CC nodded again.

Lost in thought, the goddess remained silent until CC couldn't stand it any longer.

“Is that a bad thing?” she blurted, looking desperately up at Gaea.

“No, child,” Gaea said. “But you must understand that Dylan is a lesser creature than Sarpedon.”

The goddess held up her hand, silencing CC when she would have defended Dylan.

“I do not mean that Sarpedon is more honorable than Dylan—that is obviously not true. What I mean is Sarpedon holds a position of much greater power than Dylan. Sarpedon's father, as you know, is the great God, Lir. His mother is Morrigan, the Goddess of Battle. Dylan's mother was a simple water nymph named Okynos. Unfortunately, she committed suicide after her human lover, Dylan's father, rejected her.” The goddess held her hand out to CC in a sympathetic gesture. “Dylan does not have the protection of a mother, or of a father. He is not helpless, but his gifts are much less than those of Lir's son. Dylan exists peacefully within the waters only because Lir is generous and because Sarpedon ignores him.”

“But if Sarpedon thought I loved Dylan, he would destroy him,” CC finished the unspoken thought.

Gaea's eyes were sharp. “Do you love him?”

CC considered the question while she stared into the little pond. She had never been in love before. She was technically not a virgin, but it was hard to count that one time, right after basic training when she had come home on leave and her high school boyfriend, Jerry Burton, had groped her in the back seat of his Impala. He had penetrated her. She vividly remembered the flash of pain, but it was over soon and everything had ended up on her inner thigh. The event had been awkward and unsatisfying—not an experience CC had been in a hurry to repeat—so she hadn't.

Since Jerry, she hadn't even come close to having a lover, let alone being in love. She thought about Dylan, and the way he made her smile. He had been so patient with her silly questions. And when he touched her he made the world dissolve into a pool of throbbing feelings.

But did that mean she loved him?

“I don't know,” she told the goddess honestly. “I need to spend more time with him. I think I might, but it's just too soon to know for sure.”

“A wise answer from one so young.”

Gaea's look was tender and motherly, and CC felt a sudden rush of homesickness for her own mom.

“Then spend time with him, Daughter. Find the truth of your feelings,” the goddess added. “But be kind to the warrior, too. Allow yourself the luxury of learning more about both males. Do not let lust make decisions of the heart. Do not mistake desire for true love. And remember, right now the seas are only safe for you if you stay near the shore and under my protection. Even if you decide you love the merman, you have to stay in your human body until I find a permanent solution for the problem of Sarpedon. That mer-creature is even more dangerous than the childish priest.”

“Sarpedon!” CC slapped her forehead. “How could I have forgotten? I think I saw him, or at least some kind of ghostly vision of him today.”

The goddess's eyes widened at CC's words, but a shout kept her from responding.

“Princess Undine!” Isabel sounded out of breath as she limped up to CC. The instant the servant appeared both the goblet of delectable champagne and the goddess disappeared. “Well, there you are! I have been searching and searching these gardens. Sir Andras sent me to find you. Evening mass is beginning; you must come at once.”

CC reluctantly allowed the maid to help her to her feet.

“Sir Andras does applaud your piety, but you certainly cannot miss vespers, even for prayerful meditation.” Isabel looked sharply at CC. “At least you must not miss it
again
.”

“I suppose I did get carried away with my prayers,” CC said, following the old woman as she hurried down the path which would take them through the garden to the chapel that stood at its far end.

“I am sure you were in need of much prayer,” Isabel rasped over her shoulder.

“If you only knew,” CC muttered under her breath.

Isabel chose the most direct path across the garden area, which led to the wooden doors of a modest chapel. It was made with the same gray rock as was the rest of the monastery, but on this building the stones were carved into intricate renditions. CC squinted at the carvings and then her eyes opened in shock. All of the scenes were horrible. Horned demons were eating naked, writhing people. Stone flames burned full-fleshed women. Men who were half goat whipped human men, who were chained to each other, their tortured mouths open, frozen in eternally silent screams. CC shuddered and was glad that Isabel literally pulled her through the doors and into the dimly lit chapel.

The first thing CC noticed was the incense. It was thick and pungent and it curled in waves over the carved stone pews, which were filled with monks who were already kneeling and chanting in a dirge-like litany. Their cream-colored robes made them appear like spirits hovering in the dim, smoky light.

CC sneezed. At the sound, several of the heads turned briefly in her direction. One tall, blond-headed figure stood and moved quickly down the aisle and to her side. Andras took one look at her and shook his head like she had just flunked some kind of test.

“Why are you not prepared for mass?” he asked in a strained tone, making an obvious effort to keep his voice low.

CC blinked at him in confusion. She was here, wasn't she?

But before she could ask what he meant, Isabel sighed and gave her a severe look. “Princess, I am shocked that you did not think to bring a covering for your head.” Clucking and shaking her head, Isabel dug into the depths of her apron pocket. “It is fortuitous that I thought to bring an extra scarf, although it is not so grand as the Princess is accustomed to, I am sure.”

Isabel handed CC an ivory-colored scarf made of plain, serviceable linen. Her own head was already covered with a similar cloth.

“Thank you,” CC said, draping the fabric over her head.

“It was very kind of you to think of the princess,” Andras said formally.

“I only wish to serve. Sometimes those who are very young and very beautiful can also be very forgetful,” Isabel said nonchalantly, but CC was sure she heard the hurt that hid in the old woman's gravely voice. Then the servant melted her way silently into a rear pew.

CC watched sadly as she disappeared into the gloom. She certainly wasn't making much headway in her quest to win Isabel over.

“I waited for you and was disturbed that you did not come,” Andras whispered fiercely to her.

CC allowed her face to assume a shocked expression. “I was praying, Andras. Time seemed unimportant.”

She watched as he brought his anger under control. “Of course. I was just concerned over your absence.”

Oh, right, CC thought. That's why he looks like he'd love to shake me to death.

“Come, we are seated near the front. It is a great honor.”

With a sigh CC followed him into the heart of the chapel, pausing briefly at the stone edifice that held the shallow pool of holy water. And she'd thought that those Sundays on base when she had mistakenly shown up for Catholic instead of Methodist services had just been pleasant little ceremonies she'd accidentally sat through. Without fear of making a fool of herself, she followed the correct motions of dipping her fingers in the holy water and genuflecting.

She had to hurry to catch up with Andras, who led her to the second row of pews. (The first row was unoccupied.) He motioned for her to go before him, and she slid down the empty pew, trying not to grimace at the coldness of the stone bench.