Going for It (5 page)

“Always about you, huh?” She tried to sound teasing but failed.

Slowly, he withdrew his cock and zipped up his jeans, fixing her skirt at the same time. With more gentleness than she’d ever thought him capable of, he scooped her up in his arms and headed toward the back hallway. He carried her all the way up to the deserted second floor apartment, walked into the bedroom and laid her down on the mattress. He joined her a second later, lying on his back and pulling her against him so that her face was nestled in the crook of his shoulder.

“You should get some sleep,” he said quietly. “You’ll have a hell of a hangover tomorrow.”

“I’m not tired.”

He started stroking the small of her back, the heat of his fingers searing right through the cotton material of her tank top and setting her skin on fire.

“This is nice,” she murmured into his neck.

“Yeah.”

His voice sounded shaky to her. Why? Why did he seem so distressed? Did he regret going to bed with her? She didn’t think so—she could feel his shaft hardening against her thigh, knew she turned him on. But she got the feeling that Riley was upset with her. Normally she would’ve asked him straight out what was up. They were the kind of friends who could call each other out on anything. Yet she couldn’t do it now. Lying here in his arms felt too good, too
right
, and she didn’t want to ruin this perfect moment.

So she didn’t. She kept her mouth closed, forced herself not to raise a subject she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear about, and snuggled closer against him.

Within moments, she was fast asleep.

Chapter Five

Riley barely slept a wink, and not just because he was fully clothed and hated falling asleep in his jeans. He didn’t sleep because of the woman in his arms, the sassy, gorgeous woman who’d looked so damn peaceful before she’d drifted off with her head on his chest. He’d never spent the night with a woman before. His sexual encounters often lasted into the wee hours of the morning, but he always left immediately after, and if he’d brought the girl over to his place—which was rare—he usually asked
her
to leave, claiming he slept better alone.

But for the second night in a row, he’d slept in Sam’s bed.

What troubled him, even more than the fact that he’d spent an entire night with a woman, was that it didn’t freak him out. It didn’t feel weird, or wrong, or bring on that flicker of panic that he might be getting too close.

Truth was, he’d always felt close to Sam. He’d been coming to the Diamond for two years, and if he were honest with himself, he’d admit that it had more to do with the owner of the bar than the establishment itself. Sure, the chicken wings were to fucking die for, but
Sam
was the reason he kept coming back. He’d never been friends with a woman before. When he’d played for the White Sox, all his buddies had been other players on the team. He’d kept in touch with a lot of the guys, but since his retirement, they’d drifted apart. Sam had pretty much been the one friend he’d had the past two years, and they’d always had a good time together. Shooting pool, joking around, flirting.

But now that he’d gone to bed with her, he realized he was having more than a good time. He felt…at peace. And he suddenly had to wonder if maybe the reason he’d never been interested in relationships wasn’t because he wasn’t cut out for commitment, as he’d always believed, but because he’d never found a woman he cared enough for to commit to. He’d never been friends with a woman he slept with, and maybe that was what had always been missing in his love life.

God, he should have talked to Sam before buying the bar. He’d bought the Diamond hoping to get a sense of fulfillment in his life, but right now, holding Sam in his arms, he couldn’t remember ever feeling more fulfilled. And yet, in trying to achieve his own fulfillment, he’d destroyed Sam’s. Instead of helping her find a way to keep the bar, he’d taken it from her. The realization caused guilt to slam into him like a splash of ice-cold water to the face.

“Ohhh.”

The sound of her tortured voice made him glance down. He smiled faintly when he saw the obvious discomfort in her gorgeous blue eyes. “Told you you’d be hungover,” he murmured, planting a kiss on her forehead.

She sat up, still wearing her clothes from last night, then cringed and reached up to massage her temples. “I feel like I got run over by a truck,” she grumbled.

“Hop in the shower,” he advised. “I’ll go grab us some coffee from the diner across the street.”

It was hard to enjoy her morning shower when her head continued to throb relentlessly. Sam quickly soaped up and rinsed, then went into the bedroom and dressed quickly. She grabbed a bottle of aspirin from her purse and popped two pills, hoping the headache would subside before she went to the bank. When she stepped into the empty living room, Riley was just walking through the door with two Styrofoam cups in his hands.

She accepted the cup he handed her and gulped down the coffee. A glance at her watch told her it was almost nine o’clock. She was due at the bank at nine-thirty.

“You okay? You look a little green,” Riley remarked, flipping open the lid of his cup and raising it to his sensual mouth.

“I’m fine.” She polished off the coffee and tossed the cup in the plastic bag on the floor, which she’d been using as a wastebasket. “I’ve got to be at the bank in a half hour.” She gave a tiny smile. “Think I’ll throw up if we indulge in a quickie?”

He made a face. “That you even have to ask tells me there’s no way I’m having a quickie with you.”

She pouted. “Hey, I promise not to throw up on
you
.”

“I refuse to take the chance.”

“Fine.” She gave a mock scowl then laughed.

A short silence stretched between them, until Riley finally cleared his throat and said, “When do you need to catch the train to New York?”

“It leaves at five.”

Her playful mood swiftly died at the reminder. She stared at Riley’s handsome face, swept her gaze over that sexy mouth, the stubble dotting his defined jaw, the little scar over his left eyebrow. A wave of sadness collided into her. She didn’t want to say goodbye to him. Not now. They’d been friends for two years and lovers for only two days, but when she looked at him, she couldn’t remember a time she
hadn’t
made love to him, or kissed him, or fallen asleep in his arms.

“I could…always take a later train,” she found herself saying, shocked by the words.

His eyes clouded over, and a pang of hurt sliced through her insides like a dull blade.

God, she was an idiot. Of course he wouldn’t want her to stick around. He’d probably only gone to bed with her because he’d figured she wouldn’t be around to pressure him into a relationship afterwards. He probably couldn’t wait for her to leave town so he could continue his life of casual flings and meaningless encounters.

She swallowed and forced her gaze to her feet. “Or I could leave at five. No difference.”

He stepped closer and a second later his warm hands cupped her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Big difference,” he corrected. “Sam…”

His voice cracked and she almost laughed. She’d never seen Riley Scott look this…awkward.

“I want nothing more than for you to take a later train,” he continued in a rough voice. He paused again. “Actually, scratch that. I want nothing more than for you to
not
get on that train and stay here with me.”

Her heart did a couple of jumping jacks. She stared at him, wondering if she’d misheard him, if her own conflicting emotions had somehow conjured up the words. He wanted her to stay? To stay with
him
? No, she was obviously hallucinating.

“I mean it,” he said firmly, as if reading her mind. “I want you to stay.”

“You do?”

“Yes.” And then pain creased his rugged features. “But I can’t let you make that decision until I tell you the truth.”

That warm and fuzzy feeling coursing through her veins slowly dissolved. His blue eyes were dead serious, glimmering with what looked like guilt.

“The truth?” she echoed, swallowing hard to keep her wariness at bay.

He took a step back. Raked his fingers through his unruly hair. He didn’t speak for a long time, and she could see a battle raging in his eyes. Her wariness deepened, turning into suspicion, confusion, alarm. The expression on his face reminded her of the one she’d always donned whenever she’d lied to her parents as a kid, like he’d done something wrong.

“Riley, what’s going on?” she finally asked, locking her gaze with his.

“I’m the one who’s buying the Diamond.”

The confusion etched on Sam’s gorgeous face made Riley’s chest ache. He watched as she blinked a couple times, as if trying to make sense of what he’d just said.

“What do you mean you’re buying the Diamond?” she finally asked.

“Exactly what it sounds like.” He averted his eyes. “I’m the one who convinced the bank not to extend your loan. I wanted the place for myself.”

The confusion in her eyes dimmed, replaced with a flicker of suspicion. “You…went behind my back and talked to Jim Thompson?”

His voice came out pained as he said, “Jim and I go way back. I told him I was interested in the Diamond and…”

“You decided to screw me over?” she filled in, her tone clipped.

“Yes.”

A short silence fell between them. He could see the various emotions in her eyes, the anger, the betrayal, the disappointment… Lord, the disappointment was by far the worst. It sliced into his gut and made his insides churn with guilt. He’d seen that disappointed look on the faces of other women, usually when he told them he wasn’t interested in a serious relationship, but seeing it coming from Sam was too much to bear.

He didn’t want her looking at him like this. He wanted to see the spark back in her sexy blue eyes, the mischief when she devoured his body, the laughter and the joy.

“Why?” she asked between clenched teeth.

He rubbed his forehead, shifting uncomfortably. “I wanted the Diamond. I wanted…to do something with my life. Ever since I retired, I’ve been restless.” He took a breath. “I want to turn the Diamond into a sports bar. I miss the game, Sam. I thought running this place would help keep my mind off the fact that I’m a former baseball star with a busted knee who isn’t doing a goddamn thing with his life.”

“So you’re using my bar as some sort of distraction?”

“I never forced you to sell, Sam. And I never thought you’d leave town once you did sell.”

Her hands curled into tight fists at her side. “Why didn’t you just come to me and make an offer instead of going behind my back?” she asked coolly.

He swallowed. “I couldn’t think of a way to bring it up without upsetting you. I know how much you love the bar, and I…I knew you wouldn’t part with it easily, or willingly. And I knew you’d end up resenting me if I tried to take it from you.”

“But you did take it from me.”

“I know.” He let out a frustrated groan. “I’m a selfish bastard, okay? I needed…
something
…in my life and I thought the bar could be that something, you know?”

Another silence descended, this one sharp with bitterness. “You slept with me knowing you’d taken the Diamond away from me,” she finally said, her tone accusatory.

“I know. I’m sorry.” His voice was quiet, remorseful, but he could see the remorse did nothing to soothe Sam’s growing fury.

“All those times I moaned to you about my mess of a life…” She shook her head angrily. “I told you how much it hurt for me to lose everything I’ve worked so hard for, the Diamond, my apartment, and you pretended to give a damn about me.”

“I wasn’t pretending,” he protested.

“Then you didn’t take advantage of my problems to suit yourself?”

“Sam—”

“I thought we were friends.”

“We were. We are,” he said desperately.

And even as he said the words, he knew he was lying. They weren’t just friends. These past two years, they’d built a foundation, a strong friendship, but the moment they’d slept together, it had become so much more. They
belonged
together. No other woman had ever turned him on the way Sam did. She made him laugh, she excited him, challenged him.

And he loved her. Goddammit, he
loved
her.

And instead of showing her how much he cared, he’d shied away from a relationship with her, taken advantage of her financial situation, and pretty much forced her to leave town.

He knew she’d been struggling to keep the Diamond afloat long before this mess, but if the bank had given her more time to pay the loan, she might’ve been able to salvage the bar. He should have given her a chance to try to turn things around. Or, in the very least, talked to her about his intentions before buying the place.

“You know, everyone says how arrogant and selfish you are,” she suddenly burst out. “But I always saw another side to you. I always thought that deep down you were a decent guy.”

That hurt. So badly his heart squeezed and withered in his chest.

“I admit, I can be an asshole,” he said quietly. “I can be cocky and demanding, and I’ve definitely had my selfish moments. But I didn’t buy the Diamond out of spite, or because I wanted to fuck you over. I only wanted to have a purpose in life again, something to put my energy into.”

“I get that. I really do.” Her voice softened. “What I can’t fathom is how you could go to bed with me without telling me the truth.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “My desire for you may have clouded my judgment.”

“So you figured getting laid was more important than being honest with a friend?” She scowled in disgust. “These past two days, I thought maybe you were capable of caring about someone other than yourself. Obviously I was wrong.”

“That’s not fair.” He moved closer and touched her cheek. She tried to shrug his hand away, but he kept it there, tracing the seams of her lips with his thumb. “I am capable of caring for someone other than myself. I care about
you.
”

“You sure have an interesting way of showing it.”

“I was a jerk. I should have talked to you about my plans, okay?” He became frazzled. “You’re right, I was only thinking of myself at the time. But I realize what a mistake that was. These past two days have made me realize just how much you mean to me, Sam.”

Again she attempted to push his hand away, but he simply replaced it with his mouth. She gasped, trying to back away, but he kept her prisoner with his kiss. A feeling of pure rightness slithered through his body. He knew she felt it too, how perfectly their lips molded to each other, how hot the fire burned between them. With a strangled groan, she pushed his chest and broke the kiss.

“I shouldn’t have asked you to sleep with me,” she murmured, taking a shaky step back.

Panic skittered up his spine. Her words sounded too final, too determined. “Don’t say that.”

“Why not? It’s true. Sleeping with you was a mistake.”

“We both know you don’t mean that.”

He reached out, but she sidestepped his attempt to take her hand. “I do mean it.” She blew out a breath. “We had some incredible sex, but it’s over now. I hope you enjoy running the Diamond as much as I did.”

She brushed past him and flew into the bedroom. He wanted to follow her, but instead he stood rooted in place, trying to find the words to make this all better. He had to tell her that he loved her. Had to make one last attempt at making her see he’d never regretted anything more than what he had done to her.

She returned to the living room, her purse in hand, and headed for the front door. Her back was turned to him.

When she didn’t turn around, he cleared his throat, knowing he couldn’t let her go before he told the truth—something he should’ve done all along. “I love you, Sam,” he said softly.