Gone Fishin' (13 page)

‘How
long?’

‘It’s
just been twenty-four hours but it was close. If I had come in the
next morning rather than right after Sunday school we’d be
plannin’ yo’ funeral right now. It’s been comin’
on ya for a few days. Miss Alexander say you was drinkin’ an’
I was mad that she let you do it.’

When she
stroked my face I felt the rasp of my stubble against her hand.

I fell
asleep with my head on her lap.

Later I
woke up and she was still cradling me. I was so happy then.

‘Thank
you,’ I said.

She
grinned at me. ‘Baby, you better rest some more. The fever gone
but you still weak, it could come back, and it’s always harder
gettin’ rid’a it the second time.’

‘What
is it?’

‘I
seen it before. It’s a kind of poison that gets in ya an’
acks like grippe but it ain’t. You gotta use some old-time
medicine to get that. Lucky you got ole Momma Jo t’fix ya.’

I pressed
my head against her thigh and she smiled down on me like she had
smiled down on Raymond when I first saw her in the woods.

When I
woke again it was night. Jo was rocking and embroidering. I thought
it was strange that a woman like her would take up needle and thread.

‘Could
I have some water please, Jo?’ I said.

‘How
you doin’, Easy?’ She brought me the liquor bottle.

‘Fine.’

‘You
lookin’ good. I guess we gonna have you a li’l while
longer, huh?’

‘I
guess.’ I raised myself to be fed the water and then laid back.

There was
still vapour rising from behind the rocker. I must’ve been
staring at it because Jo said, ‘Just some herbs in water on a
oil burner. Keeps it warm inside and keeps yo’ lungs dear so
you don’t get pneumonia. You feel like you can have some broth,
baby?

I wasn’t
hungry but I said yes, I needed some strength. I felt the life coming
into me.

Not
exactly the same life I’d almost left behind.

When Jo
came back Miss Alexander stuck her head in the door and smiled. ‘Hi,
Easy,’ she said. ‘Glad to see you feelin’ better.’

Jo had a
steaming bowl of beef broth with a big shank bone in it.

She
propped me on her knee and fed me spoon by spoon.

‘You
seen Mouse?’ I asked her.

‘Oh
yeah,’ she said reluctantly. ‘He been around. He tole me
t’tell you that he’d be ready t’go when you feel
better.’

‘Where
is he?’

‘No
tellin’ wit’ Raymond but he prob’ly wit’ some
girl. I think he been hangjn’ ‘round Miss Alexander’s
li’l friend - Theresa.’

I felt a
flash of jealousy but it went away as soon as it came.

‘So
he wanna go home, huh?’ I let out a short laugh and it hurt me
on my stomach. ‘I guess he finished up whatever crazy nonsense
he had wit’ Reese.’

‘I
guess so,’ Jo said as she pushed the spoon into my mouth just a
little too hard. ‘So I guess you be headin’ back home
when you get to your feet?’

‘Uh-huh,
that’s right. You know Houston cain’t get along wit’out
me for more’n a few days.’

‘Yeah.’
She smiled with me and I was glad.

It seemed
like the only thing I’d ever done was to sit alone with Jo in
the night. And I was liking her pretty much then too. I was thinking
about what Mouse had said about not turning up your nose at a woman
like her.

‘Easy?’

‘Yeah, Jo?’

She let my
head down on the pillow and went back to her chair. She sat down with
a sigh and said, ‘I been thinkin’ ‘bout what
happened out to the house, baby. You know, wit’ us. And I feel
kinda bad cause’a what you must be thinkin’, so I just
wanna tell ya ‘bout how I feel.’

She took a
deep breath that brought me back to the night we were lovers.

‘You
could see that I ain’t a normal woman. I got big bones and I’m
taller than almost any man I ever seen. An’ I ain’t like
big girls neither. Us’ally a big girl sag down an’ be
quiet hopin’ that a man won’t notice her size - but I
cain’t do that. I’m loud and rough and I’m pretty
smart too. It’s not that I’m vain, Easy, I’m just
tellin’ it like it is. I’m better than most men at bein’
like a man. Domaque was the on’y man was my match.’ She
had a lost look in her eye and I knew how she felt after all I had
remembered about my father and losing him. ‘And he was too good
to live. On’y reason I stay out to that house is because I’d
be more alone wit’ people. ‘Cause if I come in on a
situation an’ I know what’s right, then I’ma do
what’s right. And if a man, even a white man, stand up an’
be stupid then I just set him straight. I mean women can be wrong too
an’ they can be just as dumb as any man. But a woman us’ally
come around quicker than a man ‘cause if you hurt a man’s
pride you might as well give up on him ever thinkin’ right.

‘Mens
don’t like a woman big as I am, not if they manlike too. They
wanna feel they power but they don’t want none’a yours.
But I could see you wasn’t like that.’ She gave me that
shy smile. ‘They is somethin’ diffrent in you, Easy,
somethin’ soft. It’s like you looked at me an’
said, “Okay this here is one big woman; now let’s get on
wit’ it.” An’ you didn’t worry ‘bout it
no more. You didn’t look at me wit’ them big eyes like
you was scared or like I’m a animal you gotta train. I liked
that.

‘That’s why I done that mess wit’ Ernestine an’
that sour boy she was wit’.’

I thought about Domaque and Clifton then.

‘What’s she gonna do now that Clifton’s gone?

‘She
wanna learn some things I know an’…’ She looked down
and smiled. ‘She been goin’ out to Dom’s house
t’pick flowers wit’ him. I cain’t hope she gonna be
no more than friends wit’ him but Dom sure could use the
company.’

‘I
like you, Jo.’ I held my hand out to her. She came over to hold
it.

‘That’s
all I wanted, baby. I know I shouldn’ta done what I did. I
wanted you t’be my friend. I mean I cain’t ask you to
wanna be out here wit’ me…’ she said, but there was
hope in her voice.

‘I
couldn’t, Jo. I mean, I could love you but it would turn out
bad.’ I wanted to say yes, to say that Mouse was right.

‘I
gotta stand up fo’myself, Jo, an’ I just couldn’t
do that wit’ you, out here.’ I should have just said that
she was too much woman for me - that’s what I felt. I lied
about everything back then. There just wasn’t any truth to be
had.

We talked
for a long time, about everything. She told me stories about her and
how she kept things going out around Pariah. She delivered babies,
made potions, and settled disputes. I told her about wanting to read
and about women I’d known. We were fast friends, holding hands
and talking the night away.

But
whenever I’d mention Mouse she started talking about something
else. She told no stories about him when he lived there and if I
asked she’d just say, ‘Oh you know Raymond; he ain’t
nuthin’ but bad news wit’ a grin.’

Finally I
asked, ‘How come you won’t talk about him?’

‘I
don’t wanna be thinkin’ ‘bout Raymond now, Easy. I
know he yo’ frien’ an’ I ain’t got nuthin’
good t’say.’

‘But
he brung that girl down.’

‘I’m
thankful fo’ Ernestine but Raymond din’t make her. An’
all his foolin’ ‘round ain’t helpin’ my boy.’

‘What
he do?’

‘I
don’t know nuthin’ ‘bout what Raymond be doin’.’

‘But
I bet you could guess.’ I smiled at her but she didn’t
smile back.

‘All
I know is that I seen Raymond an’ that Clifton headed out
Blacksmith Row, out toward Reese Corn’s place. They left when
the sun was goin’ down.’

The tone
in her voice spoke of violence. All the drowsy recuperation in my
brain burned off like morning mist. Sweat formed on my forehead and
hands. I gulped once because of the nausea that accompanied the
decision I made.

My stomach rumbled.

‘You hungry, huh, Easy?’Jo asked.

‘Yeah, yeah. Hey, Jo, could you go’n get me sumpin’
t’eat?’

‘I got some bread an’ fruit right here in my basket.’

‘Naw,’
I said. The sick frown on my face came naturally from the sour pitch
in my gut. ‘Couldn’t you go’n get me some hot soup
or sumpin’?’

‘It’s
late, Easy,’ she whispered, to show me that she was afraid of
waking people up.

I stared
at her while thinking about my own dangerous purposes.

Maybe it
was the fear showing through my eyes that moved Jo.

‘Okay,’
she said. ‘I’ll go see what I can find.’

She kissed
me. It was the natural brush of lips against skin. I imagined
prehistoric wolves making the same gesture with their snouts before
they howled as men, women, and children sat shivering in their caves.

I counted
to ten and pushed myself up out of the bed. I fell to the floor
before I could manage even one step. It felt like I should have been
able to walk but my legs just wouldn’t listen.

There, on
my knees on the floor, I noticed the broad cloth bandage held to my
stomach by a thick gray goo slathered around the edges. I leaned back
against the bed and pulled the cloth away.

The skin
underneath was puckered and discolored. Under the cloth was a stack
of leaves and twigs; in the middle of that nest was a dead toad.

The toad
was plump and looked almost as if it were still alive. When it fell
away I saw that there was an open cut in the shape of a cross, two
inches either way, above my navel. The toad’s belly had an
identical cut.

I came
around the side of Miss Alexander’s place and turned left. When
I got to the end of the street I turned right and walked until I came
to a pecan tree. Two houses past that was a small cabin, a hut
really.

My knock
was answered almost immediately in spite of the late hour.

‘Who
is it?’

‘It’s
Easy Rawlins, Theresa,’ I said through the rough-hewn plank
door.

When she
pushed the door open I was forced to take a step backwards. She was
wearing a burlap sack with holes cut for her head and arms. The
candle she held showed me that the holes for her arms were a little
too big, I could see her left breast sticking out of the side.

‘What you want, Easy?’

‘Raymond here?’

No words came to her.

‘I asked you is Raymond here, Theresa.’

She shook her head and it was my turn to keep quiet.

‘He gone out to Reese,’ she said at last.

I was
staring at her breast and thinking that Raymond would have called me
a fool for worrying about things that were none of my business. Then
Theresa pointed out the way to me when I told her that Raymond would
be mad if she didn’t.

I made it
out the slim passage through the woods thinking about all the steps
I’d taken to bring me to that path. It came to me that it all
started when my father ran away from that butcher and out of my life.
He never called for us. One day I came home from school and our
neighbour was waiting there for me. When she told me that my mother
had some kind of stroke I wasn’t even surprised. I had expected
her to leave too.

I’ve
been counting my steps from that day to this one. From Louisiana to
Texas; from childhood to being a man.

I wasn’t
quite yet a man as I walked down that country path. But I was headed
for maturity. I had driven Mouse out there and anything he did was a
reflection on me.

It was the
noble thought of a fool.

Dawn was
filling the woods with a cold glow when I heard the voices. One of
them was Mouse, his hard-edged voice loud and threatening. I couldn’t
understand his words but at least I knew they were words, spoken to
be understood.

The reply
was a single note of rage.

I followed
the murderous sound even though I knew I should have gone the way of
my father.

I came to
a stand of cherry trees on a small hill above Reese Corn’s
place. Clifton and Mouse were standing near a large woven bamboo
basket. Mouse was holding his big .41 over his head while cocking his
head to make sense out of the scream, which was coming from the
basket.

Clifton
was armed with a shotgun, he was holding it by the twin barrels.

‘What’s
that you say, Reese?’ Mouse shouted at the basket.

I could
see the lid stuttering against the latches it had been secured with.
I was dose enough to hear the pounding blows. Reese must have done
that with his head and shoulders and back.

It was a
large basket but Reese would have had to squat down, hugging his
knees and bowing his head, for them to have closed the lid.

‘Let’im
go, man!’ Clifton shouted. ‘Let’im go!’

The next
thing Clifton, or I, knew, Mouse had his pistol pointed at the boy’s
nose. Raymond said something but I couldn’t make it out.

I took a
step from the stand of trees. Clifton bowed his head. Reese Corn
bellowed. The sun, which wasn’t the least bit concerned with
that drama, peeked down through the mist.

I took
another step and stopped.

Mouse
turned to the basket and shouted, mimicking Reese’s hoarse
rage. The basket shook from the internal blows.

I had
taken three steps when Mouse started kicking the basket. I felt that
if I walked slowly and calmly into that situation I could stop all
the hostile activities. I honestly believed that I could calm Mouse
down and bring Reese around to reason.

Maybe I could have done all that.

‘Let’im alone!’ Clifton shouted.

The boy
thrust out his free hand and grabbed Raymond just when he was in the
middle of a kick. The kick went wide, slamming against one of the
bamboo latches that secured the lid.

Mouse hit
the ground squeezing off a shot that hit the ground not two feet to
my left.

The lid to
the basket popped off and daddyReese Corn came out like a leaping
jack-in-the-box. Blacker than Momma Jo and naked, Reese went at the
first target he saw — Clifton.