Good Greek Girls Don't (5 page)

‘Look, Michael,' I explain in between mouthfuls of a chicken kebab, ‘I know that in their own twisted, warped way they mean well, and they're doing what they think is best for me, but you should have seen this guy. There was hair everywhere – his knuckles, his ears, his nostrils. It was repulsive.' The thought of Ape Man is almost enough to put me off my kebab. Almost, but not quite.

‘Imagine the kids you two could have produced.'

Okay, he's succeeded in putting me off my food. Michael knows that I am a very visual person so it doesn't take much for me to start imagining things. That was totally uncalled for.

‘You're a prick.'

‘And you're an old bag, Des. But I still love you. Look, just let them do what they do. You never know, they might actually come up with the perfect guy for you.'

‘I can find men all on my own thank you very much. Maybe I should see if they know any eleven-year-old Turkish virgins for you while they're at it.'

Michael's love life is just as pathetic as mine. The last girl that he was with was so convinced that Michael was in love with me that she broke it off with him on the basis that she could never climb the pedestal that he had me on. Or something stupid like that. She just couldn't grasp the concept of a platonic friendship.

‘Oh, yeah, and real gems they are, Des.' Michael knows all about my string of failed relationships.

‘Like you can talk, you Mediterranean misfit.' And I know all about his failed relationships. We both suck at them. Maybe we are perfect for each other.

I look at my watch. ‘Gotta go. Meeting Ricki in half an hour.' My best friend in the whole wide world. If anyone will give me the sympathy that I want, that I clearly deserve, it's her.

‘But you got out of it okay.' That's Ricki, she can always see the positive side of things and she can always make me feel a tad less neurotic.

‘Yeah, but now I'm too scared to go home. Mum is going to rip my lungs out through my nostrils for it.'

‘You can always come hide out at my place.' Ricki is in town for work; otherwise she would be up at Shepparton, the bush, the middle of nowhere. She had to move there for work, leaving her family behind in Melbourne. They didn't like it, but they had no choice so they supported her. Hell, she didn't like it and looks for any excuse to spend a week at home, creating as many training needs as she possibly can. I hate that she's so far away, but it does have some benefits. Her place at Shep is a great hideaway when her and I need to spend some quality time together without the interruption of family or other friends. And with my dysfunctional family, Ricki ends up with me in her spare room on a regular basis. We sit, eat junk food, get drunk and somehow work out all of our issues. I've known Ricki since we were twelve years old when she rocked up as a new student in my all-Greek school. We've definitely come a long way since then. We've been through everything together – relationships, break-ups, job hunting, dieting. We've survived it all. And we're still surviving, even with her living up shit creek and around the corner.

‘Des? Hey Des …' What? I'd gotten lost in my own thoughts there for a minute. ‘Look who just walked in.'

I turn to look towards the door and my heart sinks into my stomach. It's Denny. Just what I need to top off a bloody lousy day. I hope to God that he hasn't see me, or if he has, he'll know better than to try to talk to me. I don't know how long I can keep his phone sex a secret. My brain is so full of excellent one-liners that if he starts anything now, I know that they are just going to start rolling off the tongue instead of remaining locked in that vault of information that I really shouldn't share. Especially given my means of finding this information.

‘Ignore the slime, Des. Hopefully he'll sliver back into the hole he crawled out of.'

Not even Ricki knows the whole truth behind my break-up with Denny. She knows about the phone sex – I can trust her with that sort of stuff. But the other stuff, well, I haven't really told her about it all. It's not that I don't trust her. I trust her with my life. It's just that for the first time in my life, I've suddenly found myself unable to share the truth with my best friend. Some things are just better left unsaid.

‘You really hate him don't you?'

Hate is a very strong word and, no, I don't think I really hate him. I actually feel very little for Denny now, apart from pity. He really is pathetic. Besides, it takes too much time and energy to hate someone.

‘I don't hate him, Rick. I just don't want to have anything to do with him. He makes my stomach churn.' I mean, the thought of him wanking away while sitting on the phone paying for phone sex and then coming to see me … well, it makes me want to throw up. And then the rest.

‘Well, you're going to have to do something about him then. He's heading this way.'

God what does he want now? When we first broke up I stopped hanging out at all my usual places so that I wouldn't have to see him. It only lasted about two weeks and then I was back, on top of the world for everyone to see. I may have felt like crap on the inside but there was no way that I was going to let that bastard see that he had gotten to me. I just wish that when we were at the same place at the same time he would leave me alone. Why won't he just take a hint and realise that I don't want to have anything to do with him?

It's too late to run away or hide, he's here, standing beside me with a cocky grin on his stupid face. I wonder how long it would take for that smug look to disappear if I revealed that I know all about his extremely expensive habit.

‘Hey Des.'

If he even dares to sit down next to me I'm pouring my coffee down his pants. It will probably be the most natural enjoyment his balls will ever get.

‘Fuck off, Denny.' I'm not going to beat around the bush and even contemplate small talk with that slime. Why is he still grinning?

‘And how are you this evening, Ricki?'

I can't believe the malaka is trying to be charming. What a wanker. Good thing that Ricki can see right through him and knows the truth about him.

‘Fuck off, Denny.' It's so good to have some one to back you up in your time of need. ‘We're busy.' Even though Ricki doesn't know the extent of Denny's crimes, all she needs to know is that he hurt me. That's enough for her.

‘Des, can we talk?'

I've said all that I have to say to him. I said as much as I could when I dumped him. It's all been said over and over again in the last three months when I have had the pleasure of running into him. I don't want to play this merry-go-round game with him anymore. I don't want to play with him. Full stop.

‘No.' It's so cool that Ricki and I know what the other is going to say and we answer at the same time. Just doubles the effect on the listener I think.

‘Alone?' Why is he persisting?

‘No.' Once again in stereo so the whole coffee shop can hear.

‘Well, I may as well talk in front of your sidekick then. Why waste time repeating it to her later, huh?'

Maybe he did learn something in the time we were going out. He has finally realised that Ricki and I share practically everything.

‘Denny, there is nothing to talk about. Nothing to say. It's finished, over, kaput, finito, history.' Do I have to say it in any other language for him to understand? I know, Greek might do the trick. ‘Denny,
teliosame
. So just leave me alone. I am not going to change my mind.' He actually looks hurt. But after everything that he put me through while we were together, I really don't care. I spent way too long worrying about his feelings and not mine. Not any more. That's a habit I broke a long time ago.

‘Des, I'm going to Greece for a few months.'

So his parents decided to send their little disappointment away for a while. They did the same thing when his ex-wife left him, or so I heard, and now they're doing it again.

‘I'm happy for you, Denny. You've obviously given up trying to find a job cause mummy and daddy have come to the rescue yet again.' They even helped pay off his home loan after his wife left him and he kept the house. Of course, they'd already paid a nice deposit for him to buy the house in the first place. His mum goes there once a week and cleans the place up and his dad does all the garden maintenance. I feel sorry for his parents, I mean, how the hell did two supposedly normal and sane people ever manage to produce that thing that is now standing in front of me?

My coffee is ready, one false move and he will feel it. ‘Would you like me to come to the airport and waive a white hanky.' Sarcasm is lost on this moron. What an idiot. What did I ever see in him?

‘I just thought that maybe you might feel differently when I got back, and we could try again.'

Okay, it's time to get nasty. It's time that I stopped holding back.

‘Look, Denny, if you were the last man on earth and it was up to you to re-populate the earth with the remaining females, I'd become a lesbian. Have a good time in Greece. Perhaps you should bring back a fucking off-the-boater wanting to get a passport or something, because you and I ain't going to happen ever again.' My voice is loud and shaky, and I know I'm getting looks from other people in the coffee shop but I don't care.

‘Can you at least tell me what I did that was so bad?'

Ricki is staring at us in amazement. Although she knows most things about my relationship with Denny, she hasn't ever seen me hammer him. Well, this is definitely going to be a show to remember. The final encore. After tonight he will never, ever come back for more. This
malaka
wants to do it the hard way. No more Miss Nice. The time has come to get ugly.

‘What you did wrong?' I've exploded. Hurricane Desi is on the loose and watch out for the flying debris. ‘Your disappearing acts, you behaving like you were ashamed to be seen with me. We could only ever go to places where no one would recognise you and no one would see us. The lying. Never could you give me a straight answer. You wanted me sitting at home, waiting for the phone to ring just in case you were in the mood to see me. The money I loaned you that I never got back. The times you hit me. Remember that, Denny? Remember when you decided to use me as your personal punching bag? I haven't forgotten.' No matter how hard I bloody try to bury it, it's still there lingering. It didn't happen that often, but it was often enough. ‘You know I blamed myself for a while but the truth is, it wasn't my fault. Just because you fucked up your life so much that no one wants to have anything to do with you doesn't give you the right to bring others down with you. But you really want to know what topped it off for me? What really made me decide that you were beyond help? What made me realise that you weren't going to change and weren't worth wasting any more time on? It was your little phone habit, Denny. You thought you could hide it. Word of advice: when you decide that you want to have phone sex, when you want to call Asian women's lines, when you want to call transsexuals lines and gay lines, too, you really should pay your fucking phone bill so that it doesn't come to the attention of people like me. Given where I work, did you honestly think I wouldn't find out? Or did you think I'd pay your debt for you?'

Okay. I've shocked everyone in this place. I've even shocked myself. I never meant to say so much. Nobody ever knew that Denny hit me. I was so ashamed that I couldn't tell anyone. Even though I knew deep down that it wasn't my fault, and even though I knew that he was the one with the problem, I still blamed myself.

I think Ricki is now ready to hit Denny. I can see her about ready to explode. ‘So, Denny, do you now understand why there is no hope whatsoever of you and I trying this again? I don't like you. If anything, I feel so fucking sorry for you because you really are pathetic. Just go to Greece, find yourself a bride and you'll be happy. Maybe it'll be third time lucky and you'll find some ignorant little wog girl straight out of a village who will think the way you treat women is normal. Now just fuck off.'

Oh, yeah, he's hurt. Actually he's humiliated because I screamed so loud that the whole coffee shop heard it all. I don't care anymore. I won't try to protect his feelings. He never gave a shit about mine. And now all these people who are sitting at the tables, all these people that Denny lives for impressing, they all know the truth about him.

God, he's not even going to say anything in his own defence. He's walking away without a fight. This is amazing. It's finally over. Closure.