Good (21 page)

“Okay,” I said.

He chuckled. “May I kiss you?”

“Okay,” I said automatically.

“Are you sure?”

“Okay.”

“Cadence? That’s not even a response to what I just asked.”

“I think I’m having a heart attack.”

“Well then I better hurry up and kiss you,” he joked.

“Mr. Connelly! I’m scared!” I cried.

Mark sighed. “Oh, Cadence.”

“I mean Mark. Mark, Mark, Mark.” I shook my head. “I think I should go.”

“Do you really wanna go?”

“No.”

“Then why would you say that?” he asked.

“Because I feel like an idiot! All I can think about is oral sex, and I’ve never done it or had it done to me, and I haven’t really done anything even though I’ve wanted to, and now I’ve got to worry about everything that goes into it, including having my hair ripped out of my body!” I took a deep breath.

Mark was silent for a moment.

“Cadence?”

“What?” I barked.

“I just wanna kiss you.”

I sighed.

“And I’m pretty sure you’ve already done that,” he said.

“I have,” I replied. “Lots of times.”

Mark’s lips curled into a wry grin. He placed his hand behind my head, pulling me towards his face. I didn’t resist, though I thought for a split second that I would go to hell for kissing my math teacher. And at the first contact of lips on lips, I felt an explosion deep in my heart. “You’re kissing an angel!” it screamed, and I remembered thinking back to the first time I saw Mark on the side of the highway. He was an angel, and I never thought the act of kissing could be anything close to spiritual. But it was.

He drew my bottom lip into his mouth, sucking tenderly, causing me to squirm on his lap. He grunted, and I didn’t realize until I was driving home later what my squirming bottom must have been doing to him the entire time we kissed.

I was inexperienced in many areas, but kissing wasn’t one of them. I drew back a fraction and ran my tongue teasingly over his bottom lip, licking him like a hungry kitty. I heard a rumble deep in his throat as he crushed his lips to mine. He forced my mouth open with his tongue, finding mine, playing with it until I moaned.

“Sit on me,” he said into my mouth.

“I am sitting on you,” I replied.

“Jesus Christ, Cadence,” he said, exasperated, and pulled on my thighs until they were spread, straddling his hips.

“Ohhh, you mean like this?” I asked playfully, moving my hips back and forth on him ever so slightly. It felt natural, and I also felt guilty for doing it because I knew I didn’t want to take our make-out session any further.

His hands went directly to my ass, squeezing me and pushing me down on him. He kissed me again, nibbling and sucking on my lips until they tingled. I pulled back.

“I’m afraid to do any more than this.”

“We won’t. I promise.”

The relief washed over me like a gentle, rolling wave.

“It’s just, I know you don’t wanna wait forever. Since you’ve done it before. But I’m not ready.”

“I’m not ready either,” Mark replied.

“Stop trying to make me feel better.”

“I’m not. I’m telling you the truth. I don’t wanna do anything else.”

My brain said, “Absolutely not,” but my mouth didn’t listen.

“Are you manipulating me to get what you want?” I asked.

Mark rolled his eyes. “If you’re asking me that, then you know I can’t be.”

“I don’t understand why you like me. And don’t say it’s because of my goodness. That just makes me wanna barf.”

Mark chuckled. “Why can’t I be attracted to your goodness?”

“Because it’s not enough!”

“You want me to list all the reasons I’ve fallen for you?”

“Yeah.”

“Come on, Cadence. Seriously?”

“Dead serious.”

“You don’t want me to tell you over time?”

“Hell no. I wanna hear every single one of them right now!” I said.

“Fine. But I was gonna wait to tell you when I had all my songs in order,” Mark said.

“Your songs?”

“Yeah. My songs. It’s my ongoing soundtrack for my life. And don’t laugh,” he said, eyeing me sternly.

My face broke out in a grin.

“I mean it, Cadence! I take my soundtrack seriously!”

“You have songs for me?”

“Yes, and if you’ll be a little patient, I’ll share them with you. Jeez.” Mark hung his head.

“Look at me,” I ordered.

He lifted his face to mine, and I saw his flushed cheeks for the first time. I made him blush.

“Will you share one? Just one?”

He thought for a moment. “Okay. You’ve listened to all of
Entroducing…
by now, right?”

I nodded.

“Okay, well the first time I realized how much I had to lose in pursuing you, I put ‘Building Steam with a Grain of Salt’ on repeat and listened to that for a while. I needed something intense to help me sort through my feelings for you and what I was gonna do.”

Instant surge of sexual feelings.

“I thought maybe the song would help. But it really didn’t. Just made me more nervous.”

I giggled.

“What? You think it’s funny that I felt nervous around you?”

“You never showed it,” I said.

“Well, I do a pretty good job of masking my feelings,” Mark admitted. “But my heart was pounding.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re beautiful.”

“I’m average.”

“You’re so much more than average, Cadence. You’re out of this world.”

I shrugged.

“I’ve got a song for that, too, but you’ll have to wait for it.”

“Not fair! Tell me now,” I demanded.

“Nope.”

I pinched his cheek. Not hard. Just one of those “you’re really adorable” pinches.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about this and just wanna say it,” I began. “I don’t think you’re a sexual predator,” I said.

“Good to know,” Mark replied. “Because I’m not.”

“I know. I did my research on the laws. Since you didn’t explain them to me the last time.”

Mark furrowed his brows. “Oh yeah?”

“I looked up the age of consent in Georgia. It’s sixteen,” I replied.

Mark cleared his throat. “I’m not having sex with you until you’re eighteen. I don’t care what the age of consent is.”

“So you think you’re doing something wrong,” I said.

“No, I don’t.”

“Then what does it matter that I’m seventeen or eighteen?”

“What matters is that you’re not ready. Just a minute ago you were freaking out about oral sex. And why are we back to this anyway?”

I hung my head. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I mentioned anything about sex. It’s just all I can think about,” I admitted.

“You don’t need to think about it. And why would you be afraid I’d want to make love to you so soon? I don’t even know your middle name,” Mark replied.

“Brynn,” I said automatically. I wasn’t thinking about my middle name; I was thinking about Mark using the term “make love” in place of “sex.” I warmed all over.

“Brynn. Hmm, I like that. Now, are your legs sore yet?”

I’d been straddling him the entire time. Once my brain registered this, my legs began aching painfully.

“Yes.” I climbed off Mark’s lap and sat beside him, sliding my sandals off and pulling my knees up to my chest. “Why did you go to school for math?”

“I didn’t.”

“I’m confused.”

“I have a masters in English.”

“Then why are you teaching math?”

“Because I’m good at math, and I minored in it as an undergrad. And finding a job teaching math was a lot easier.”

I thought for a moment. “Normally people are good at one or the other.”

“I guess I’m blessed.”

“Are you a Christian?” I asked.

He laughed. “Why? Because I said I’m blessed?”

I nodded.

“No, Cadence.”

I thought I should leave. Everything I learned in youth group taught me never to date a nonbeliever. It was a top rule as a Christian. I didn’t remember a rule against having an affair with a teacher, but the non-Christian thing was a definite no-no.

“What are you thinking?” Mark asked.

Like I was going to tell him what I was thinking
.

“Do you wanna teach math forever?” I asked instead.

“Yeah. But not at the high school level.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m saving up to go back to school,” he explained.

“For what?”

“A doctorate in math at Georgia Tech.”

I nodded. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t really understand anything about doctoral programs. I assumed they made you a doctor of something. In any case, I didn’t want to come across as a complete moron or highlight our age gap.

“I wanna teach at the university level,” Mark said.

“Oh. I guess college students aren’t so annoying, huh?”

Mark chuckled. “It’s really just because I like college material better.”

“Why?”

“I’m kind of tired of talking about myself.”

“Impossible. Men love to talk about themselves,” I countered.

“Have you been reading your
Marie Claire
lately?” he asked.

I laughed. “That’s cute.”

“You’re cute,” he said, and leaned over to kiss me once more.

This time I forced my tongue into his mouth, and I think it shocked and delighted him. In fact, he sat back and let me do all the work. I didn’t mind. For some reason I thought I had something to prove to him.

“Do that thing again,” he said between kisses.

“What thing?” I breathed.

“Licking my lip. I liked that,” he said.

I smiled, satisfied, drawing away from him and cocking my head in a challenge.

“No.”

He considered me for a moment. “Yes.”

I shook my head, grinning demurely.

He leaned over, pushing me down into the couch cushions, and kissed me tenderly.

“I like this innocent, teasing, flirty thing you’ve got going on,” he said. “And I’ll let you play like that for awhile.” He trailed kisses over my cheek to my neck, sucking gently before sinking his teeth into my skin. I whimpered and arched my body up to his. “But only for a little while.” I shuddered.

I didn’t know where to put my hands while he kissed my neck and thought it was natural to run them through his hair. I had been dying to do this since I saw him on the side of the road. I hesitated, fingers poised above his scalp, before burying them in his hair carefully. It was soft and thick, and I swear my fingertips came across a dozen cowlicks. I giggled.

“What?” he asked, pulling away to look down at me.

“Your hair is a mess.”

“I know,” he said. “Nothing I can do about it.”

“I don’t want you to do anything about it. I love it.” I ran my fingers once more through his hair slowly, verbally counting the cowlicks.

“One, two, three,” I said. “Oh, there’s four. Five. Six. And seven . . .”

“Yes, Cadence,” Mark said patiently. “I have many cowlicks.”

I laughed, and my stomach growled.

“Oh, good grief!” I huffed.

“Did you eat lunch today?” he asked, sliding off of me and helping me up to a sitting position.

“No.”

“I thought your appetite was back,” Mark said.

“Not for school cafeteria food,” I replied.

Mark smirked. “I fear this’ll be one expensive relationship.”

Relationship? I guess up until he said that word I thought it was a ridiculous fantasy—one I would wake up from at any moment.

I watched him walk to the kitchen. He paused and turned around.

“Well? You coming?”

“You don’t mind feeding me again?” I asked.

“Cadence, I don’t mind doing anything for you.”