Good Time Bad Boy (27 page)

“Nah, that pretty much cured him of wanting to get married.”

“What’s he do?” She turned her attention from the photos to Wade. “I don’t know anything about the military.”

“He’s a helicopter mechanic. Works on Black Hawks.”

“I think I know what those are.”

Wade grinned. “Fucking badass, is what those are. I did a USO tour in Afghanistan once and got to see him. We email and Skype sometimes but I was gone the last time he came home on leave. It’s been too long since we’ve spent real time together.”

Mrs. Sheppard appeared from a side hallway. “Wade, we missed you in church this morning. I was hoping you’d bring your friend in the kitchen to meet me but since you didn’t, I left Lori in charge and came out to meet her for myself.” She leveled Daisy with a look that made her want to wither into nothing, just a spot on the carpet, but Lori’s words came to her:
Don’t show fear
. So Daisy did her best to stay calm and impassive.

Wade held tight to Daisy as he kissed his mother’s cheek. “Daisy, this is my mother, Marlene Sheppard. Momma, Daisy McNeil.”

“Nice to meet you,” Daisy rushed to speak first. God, she hated that phrase, though. It was so meaningless.

“Well.” Mrs. Sheppard looked her up and down discreetly. “I understand you know my niece, Jillian.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“She tells me you’re going to college.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Mrs. Sheppard glanced at Wade, who said nothing. “What are you majoring in, dear?”

“Human resources management, ma’am.”

Mrs. Sheppard raised her eyebrows. “Well. That’s a good field to be in. Lots of opportunity.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Daisy wanted to die. Burst into flames. Get swallowed by a sink hole. Kidnapped by a goblin king. Any damn thing that would get her out of this horrible conversation.

Lori saved her. She returned to the living room and announced. “Food’s on the table. Come on, y’all.”

Mrs. Sheppard patted Wade’s arm and moved off.

Daisy looked to Wade for some indication, any indication, of what he was thinking. He stared straight ahead and led her to the dining room, saying nothing. Tension radiated through his body. She stayed as close to him as good manners allowed in front of his family, not just for herself but for him, too.

F
uck, fuck, fuck. Wade knew this would be uncomfortable but God damn...when the teenager displayed the best manners, the adults were really fucking up. He’d really thought Chris would keep his dickishness under control around Daisy, out of fear that it would get back to Megan. Apparently not. Wade had no idea what his father’s problem was, other than his usual disinterest in Wade. Surely that was no reason to be rude to a guest. As for his mother...it wasn’t what she’d said. More the way she’d spoken, and the way she’d looked at Daisy as if surprised she wasn’t wearing a tube top and cut-offs with her underwear hanging out.

His family were free to treat him like crap. Maybe he even still deserved it. They had no right to be judgmental toward Daisy.

The meal passed by in a blur. He barely tasted his food. Thankfully, Chris dominated the conversation, telling their father work-related stories about all the arrests he’d made lately. Lori looked ready to take her spoon and dig a hole to China to escape. If she started excavating, he’d be glad to help.

“Wade, help me clear the dishes, please.” Despite the
please
, his mother was not making a request. He exchanged a look with Daisy, who nodded almost imperceptibly. She rose from the table and strode to the living room with Lori, the two of them talking about books.

Wade stacked several plates and carried them to the kitchen. He cut right to the point. “What is your problem with Daisy?”

Marlene whirled on him, mouth open in shock. “My problem is not with her, it’s with you. Do you have any idea what you’re getting into with her?”

Wade stepped on the urge to shout and hurl invective. “If you think she’s not good enough just because she’s a waitress, you need to get over it. She’s a good person, Momma. She’s not some wild party girl. Working at a bar doesn’t define who she is.”

Marlene interrupted. “Oh, for heaven’s sake. You don’t need to tell me those things. I know she’s a good person. Jillian wouldn’t have her around the kids if she wasn’t. How much do you know about her past?”

The question surprised Wade, especially following on the heels of what sounded suspiciously like acceptance from his mother. “I know she didn’t have it easy growing up. What’s that got to do with anything?”

Marlene sighed and crossed her arms over her front. She was quiet for a moment, as if mulling things over. Finally she spoke. “Not many people know this. She kept it very quiet. I found out from a relative of the Hollisters. Daisy stayed with Megan and her father for a time.”

“There’s nothing you can tell me about Daisy that’s going to change how I feel about her.”

“I’m not worried about that. I’m worried about you being able to deal with it.”

Wade sucked in a breath and tried to calm himself so he didn’t swear at his mother. “Get to the point, if you please.”

“Did you know that she had a baby at eighteen and gave the child up for adoption?”

Of all the possibilities swirling in his head, that was nowhere on the list. “Uh, no.” All the anger and righteous indignation bled out of him, replaced by...he didn’t know what.

“The boy who got her pregnant abandoned her. She had no support from her family. From what I heard, that mother of hers still gives her grief about the decision.”

“I...I don’t understand.”

“Things are different now. When I was growing up, it was very, very rare to come across single mothers who’d had their children out of wedlock. People forced their daughters to give the babies up for adoption. I had a friend who went through that, Wade, and she never got over it. Even when she eventually had more kids. She still mourns that first child. Daisy may not have been forced. Chances are she knows enough about the adoptive family to know they’re good people, so that’s got to offer some measure of comfort.”

Wade’s head spun. He didn’t know what point to address or what to think. “You’ve given this a lot of thought.”

“Damn right. This is the first woman you’ve brought home since Kristin. I asked around about her and since I found this out, it’s all I’ve thought about. I don’t like violating her privacy but I had no idea if she’d ever tell you and if you’re getting serious with her, you need to know. My friend, she never told her husband. He still doesn’t know to this day. The child never attempted to find her. Her husband doesn’t understand a lot of things about her because he doesn’t know about that first child. I don’t want you in that situation. They’ll never divorce, they don’t believe in it, but the marriage is not what it could be because there’s this huge gulf between them.”

“Momma, I don’t know─”

“And that mother of hers is a piece of work. No matter how far things go with you and Daisy, you’re going to have to deal with that. Even if it’s just through Daisy and how she is. That poor girl, she must have felt so alone.” Marlene dabbed her eyes. “And Chris told me that two years ago, an ex-boyfriend beat her so bad she spent three days in the hospital.”

The air went out of his lungs and his vision blackened at the edges.

“This girl’s life has most definitely not been a party,” Marlene said. She returned to rinsing dishes and placing them in the dishwasher. “I don’t know what your intentions are, but if you’re planning to go back on the road, you need to tell her sooner rather than later. Before she gets even more attached to you than she already is. She looks at you like you hung the moon, Wade.”

Understanding dawned on Wade and it soured the lump of food in his stomach. “You...you think I’m just playing games with her? That I’m not serious? You think I’d bring somebody to meet the family if she was just a...a bed buddy?” He’d almost slipped and said something else.

Marlene rested her hands on the edge of the sink, squared her shoulders, and faced her son. “No. I don’t think you’re playing with her. But after your divorce and the way you’ve been living, can you really say you’re capable of an adult relationship?”

It wasn’t Daisy his mother didn’t think was good enough, it was him. Hot, sickening shame traveled from his gut to every part of his body.

“I love you, Wade,” Marlene said. “You’re my son and I’ll always love you. But you weren’t there for Kristin when she needed you the most. You weren’t there for your father when his father died. You can’t be bothered with us and you act like being around us is a chore. And I’m so sick of you and Chris fighting, I could scream. I’d like to knock both your heads together.” She snatched a hand towel from a ring on the cabinet over the sink and used wiping her hands as an excuse to attack it. “If you want something real with this girl, you need to grow up.” She tossed the towel onto the counter and hurried from the kitchen.

Wade clenched his hands into fists, the urge to hit something nearly overwhelming. He forced himself to breathe normally, in and out, in and out.

Daisy had a child somewhere out in the world, a child she gave up for adoption. With only her best friend for support, had she felt too alone in the world to feel like she could keep the baby? He couldn’t imagine anything sadder.

He shook his head. Whatever the reason, it wasn’t his business. It wasn’t his place to ask for reasons, to expect justification. It was in the past, it was her life.

A thought came out of nowhere, so unexpected it took the strength from his legs and had him clutching the counter for support. Did her decision mean she never wanted
any
kids? Even in the future?

And why did that thought send pain twisting through his heart?

In all the years since the miscarriage and the dissolution of his marriage, he’d never once thought of having another child. Not even in a vague
maybe someday
way. Much like he’d never considered remarrying. He’d screwed it up so badly the first time, what business did he have trying again?

Despite what his mother said and everyone believed, Wade wasn’t the only one responsible for the wreck of that marriage. After the miscarriage, Kristin crawled into herself and never let him back in. It wasn’t their pain, it was hers and his, and they were never able to help each other. He fled to the road and endless touring. She went home to Knoxville and never came back.

She’d been the one to try again. Now she was married again, with two kids, and finally happy. Wade had never even asked himself what would make him happy, he’d just stayed on the road. Played music and partied and traded writing his own songs for bad movies on motel room TVs and tattered volumes from used books stores. He knew he wanted to write again, and the existence of several new songs filled him with a sense of triumph. He knew he wanted to call a halt to the endless touring, and turning down the Branson gig sure helped with that.

But what else did he want? Because having a pretty girlfriend was a boy’s dream. He’d done plenty of growing up, even if his family didn’t see it. How could they? He didn’t let them see it, didn’t let them see him. The disappointment in their eyes had kept him on the road as much as anything else, until eventually it never occurred to him they could feel any other way about him. That he could ever feel any other way about himself.

And that was the crux of it, right there. He didn’t know if he could be a good enough man for Daisy.

The walls closed in, the air in the room heavy and hard to breathe. He had to get out. No matter what, he couldn’t spend another minute in this house. He hurried into the living room, every bad decision, every bottle, every time he walked away from someone chasing his heels.

Daisy sat on the loveseat next to Lori, the two deep in conversation. Wade halted for a moment, letting the sight of her fill him with peace. But did he deserve that peace? If he couldn’t be the kind of solid, reliable man she needed, did he deserve her?

He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms then strode to the loveseat. “Lori, would you mind driving Daisy home?”

Daisy drew her brows together in alarm. “What’s wrong?”

He couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact. “Lori?”

His niece nodded. “Yeah, no problem.”

Daisy stood. “Wade?”

Eyes on the carpet, he ran his fingertips down her arm. “I’ll call you later.” He headed for the door, trying not to run.

“Wade, why are you leaving?” Her voice broke and he wanted to turn around, take her in his arms, but he had to run. Run away, run out, just run.

By the time he made it to the porch, he was running. He didn’t realize he was being followed until Chris climbed into the passenger seat and slammed the door.

Wade said, “Either get out or keep your mouth shut.”

“I’ll be quiet,” Chris said. “For now. You just drive.”

Wade slid his sunglasses on then put the key in the ignition. He drove with no thought to a destination, the radio silent for once. Neither brother spoke. Wade tried not to think, staring out at the road. An hour and a half later he pulled the truck into a Dickson gas station. Chris went inside while Wade filled the tank. Briefly, he gave serious thought to leaving without his brother. It wasn’t far to Nashville. He could give Becky a call and beg for a gig.

Wade didn’t want to be that guy anymore. The one who slipped away without a confrontation because it was easier. Disappearing had been the easy way out for him for so fucking long, and he was tired of it.

Chris came out of the gas station, his hands full of drinks and candy bars. Wade finished with the gas tank and got back in the truck. Chris handed him a bar then held up two drinks. “Water or Coke?”

Wade sighed. “Water.” He tore the wrapper on the candy bar and took a bite. Chris stashed the water bottle in a cup holder and dug into his own snack.

Chris said, “You finally want to tell me what this was all about?”

Not really, but maybe if he talked to his brother instead of snarked at him constantly, it might repair at least a tiny bit of damage. “I thought Momma didn’t like Daisy. Didn’t think she was good enough. Turns out, it was me she doesn’t think is good enough.” Wade got the truck back on the highway, headed back to Brittain.