Graduation Day (23 page)

G
REEN EYES MEET
mine. For a moment I can't breathe as I remember the way those eyes glittered with calculation during The Testing when Will shot Tomas and turned his gun on me. I had thought he was my friend. I had thought he was on my side. I had been wrong.

I drop Stacia's arm. My fingers wrap around the wooden butt of my gun as I stand. No one says a word as I raise the gun, wrap my other hand around the handle for balance, and take aim.

Will doesn't flinch. He doesn't look to the others for help. His eyes stay fixed on me. Waiting for whatever I decide to do next. My brain tells me to shoot. I cannot allow Will to betray me again. I won't let Zeen be caught as a rebel traitor and killed. Will cannot be trusted. There is no choice but to eliminate him.

But I do not fire. Because for some reason Will saved Stacia and Raffe. Just as he saved Tomas and me on the plains when we were attacked. Why? During The Testing, Will decided to eliminate the competition in order to better his chances of being one of the twenty selected for the University. He could have allowed Roman to kill Tomas. He could have waited to see if I had the nerve to kill before stepping in to save us. He could have stood by and allowed us to die.

But he didn't. Ever since my memories returned, that fact has haunted me. Will wanted us dead. Yet he saved us despite his intent to kill. And now here he stands, calmly awaiting my decision after coming to the aid of two of my friends.

No, I am wrong. Though there's a lack of emotion on Will's face, he is not calm. The grip he has on the strap of his bag has turned his knuckles white. That and the rapid breaths he takes speak of the emotions swirling beneath the surface. But he doesn't speak. He doesn't plead for his life.

“You remember.” The words are barely a whisper, but the way Will flinches tells me he has heard. Still, I say the words again in case I am wrong. This time my voice is firm. As is my need to understand this boy who has done good even as he has deceived. “You remember The Testing.”

“No one remembers their Testing,” Stacia snaps.

But Will doesn't look at her. His eyes hold mine while he says, “Not exactly.”

“But you remember something,” Tomas says, taking a step closer to Will.

Despite Tomas's obvious anger, Will doesn't move. His voice is steady when he says, “I remember enough to know that I've earned whatever punishment you and Cia think I deserve. Whatever you decide, I'll accept.”

“What are you all talking about?” Stacia asks, trying to climb to her feet. Raffe hurries to help her up, but she pushes him away. “Why would Cia and Tomas want to punish you, Will? You haven't done anything wrong.”

“Yes.” His voice is quiet but firm. “I have.”

It is that calm acceptance of what he has done and the punishment he deserves that makes my finger ease on the trigger. If Will were angry or defiant or belligerent I would shoot. But I find myself remembering the boy I first met during The Testing. The one who heard me confess that I didn't finish one of my tests. Instead of ridiculing me or rolling his eyes as so many of the other candidates would have done, he thanked me for being willing to admit the truth. I saw Will's heart break when his brother didn't make it through the first Testing phase. I watched as he killed the boy who was about to kill Tomas in the fourth test, and I know that it's thanks to his insistence that I was freed from the locked metal box Damone wished me to die in during Induction.

Which is the real Will? The one who coldly killed or the one who helped me live? I don't know.

Slowly, I lower my gun. Tomas frowns as I ask him to get me a bottle of water from the kitchen so we can tend to Stacia's wound, but he does as I ask.

As Tomas leaves the room, Stacia shifts, winces, and says, “I don't understand. How do you remember your Testing? No one else does.” Stacia looks at me. “Do you? Do both of you?” she adds as Tomas walks back through the doorway. Anger flashes from her eyes.

I choose my words with care. “During The Testing, I discovered a way to record some of what happened. I found the recording and started to remember.”

“What about Tomas?”

“The memory-erasure procedure never worked on me.” He sits down next to her and wets a cloth with water. “I've always remembered.”

Tomas starts to wash Stacia's wound but she pulls away. Jerking her head toward Will, she asks, “What did he do?”

“I killed people during the fourth test,” Will says. “Then I tried to kill both of them.”

“Well, I guess that tells us you need to work on your aim.” Stacia winces again but jerks her arm away when Tomas tries to tend to it. “How about me?” she asks, glaring in my direction. “Did I do anything that would make you want to shoot me? Or aren't I allowed to know what happened?”

“I don't know,” I answer truthfully. “I only talked to you once during The Testing. You were with Vic and Tracelyn during the fourth test. You and Vic completed that test. Tracelyn never did.”

“Do you think I killed her?” Stacia asks. The resentment has faded from her eyes, leaving only pain behind. Pain from the wound or from the thought of committing the murder of someone she knew? It's impossible to say.

“I don't know,” I answer truthfully again.

“But you think I must have. Otherwise, why else would I be here, right?” Before I can reply, she turns to Tomas and asks for the wet cloth so she can clean her wound, saying that she is the most qualified owing to her field of study. Tomas hands her the cloth but stays nearby as she begins to dab the blood away.

The set of Stacia's jaw tells me she is done asking questions for now, so I turn back to Will and ask, “When did your Testing memories return?”

Will shrugs and sits on the ground next to the wall. “Right after Dr. Barnes told us we'd been accepted to the University. When I looked around and didn't see Gill in the room, I knew something was wrong.”

I remember that Will had to be restrained and was taken away by officials when he realized his brother wasn't there. It took days before he returned.

While Will explains the flashes of memories he experienced, Stacia lets Tomas help finish cleaning up the bloody wound. I shift closer so I can see it. The hole made by the bullet isn't large. Perhaps a half inch in diameter. Maybe less. But the swelling and red rim around the injury are concerning. As is the blood that continues to trickle out. Since this is the only puncture in Stacia's arm, I have to conclude that the bullet is lodged inside.

Stacia comes to the same conclusion and decides to bandage up the arm instead of doing anything more to treat it. “I can't dig the bullet out myself. And even if I could I'm sure it would do more harm than good. I wish I had broken into the residence pharmacy and taken some of the good pain meds. All I have are some anti-inflammatories.”

“I mixed some herbal remedies with water,” Tomas says, taking the bottle marked with a circle out of his bag. “It'll take away the pain, but there's a chance it will also put you to sleep.”

Stacia looks at the bottle and shakes her head. That simple movement makes her wince. In a strained voice she says, “I think I'm going to need a clear head for this. But if you don't mind, I'll hold on to it for later.”

When Tomas hands her the bottle, she opens it and smells the contents. After a moment, she asks him to pour some of the liquid on one of the bandages she brought with her. I pull the ointment from my bag and hand it to Stacia for her to use on the wound as well. The easing of tension in her shoulders tells me that the combination might be enough to help get her through what is to come.

Before we discuss that, there is still something I have to know. “Why did you tell Enzo about the pulse radio in my room?”

“If I give the wrong answer are you going to threaten to shoot me like you did with Will?” She gives me the same smile I remember from The Testing dining hall. “Is this my test, Cia?”

“Would you pass?” I ask, conscious of the gun in my hand. “Not only was Enzo burned and almost killed, but it happened in my room. If it weren't for Ian, I would have been detained by officials. I might even be dead right now. You set that up. I think it's fair to ask why.”

Stacia looks around the room. All eyes are on her. “When we went into the library, Enzo started asking a lot of questions about you. He said he was worried that you might be doing something that could get you in trouble with Professor Holt and he wanted to help. I figured it was the perfect opportunity. You hadn't come up with a test, and there wasn't any more time to waste. So I told Enzo you had found some recording that you thought was important and were trying to decide whether to turn it over to the president. He went after the recording and proved he wasn't on our side. I'm sorry he got hurt, but I did us a favor.”

“All you proved was that Enzo wanted to see what was on that recording,” I say. “You have no idea what his motives were.”

“Cia's right.” Will speaks up from his spot in the corner. “Enzo could have been worried enough about Cia that he was willing to risk punishment in order to learn what trouble she might be facing.”

“Or he could have been spying on her and was looking to collect a reward for turning information over to Dr. Barnes,” Stacia shoots back.

And we may never know. As much as I want to believe Enzo will pull through, I saw how badly injured he was. It is impossible to imagine the pain he will endure and how he will survive it in order to come back from that.

“Worrying about what's been done isn't going to help us now,” Raffe says. “Enzo will recover or he won't. We can't change that outcome. The only thing we can do is learn from the mistakes made and make sure we don't make the same ones in the future.” When no one contradicts him, he adds, “The only way to prevent something like this from happening again is to agree that one person makes the final call on how we move forward from here. And the only reason we're having this discussion is because of Cia. She pushed for information about The Testing and found the truth behind Symon and the rebellion. The president asked for her help. Cia is our leader. From my position, whatever decision she makes on something should be final. Does everyone else agree?”

Will is the first to nod. Not that what he thinks truly matters, since he is not a part of this. Not really. Tomas studies Raffe and then gives his assent, which leaves only Stacia. I still do not know whether she believes in this cause or if she is only doing it for a reward she thinks she'll be given once it's over. Whatever her reason, it is clear she is not happy when she sighs and says, “Fine. Now can we talk about what we plan to do next? We don't have much time.”

I push my worries about Stacia to the side. Now that the others have arrived, we are faced with two unanticipated problems. Will's presence and Stacia's injury. Tonight will be physically and emotionally challenging. I don't believe Stacia can handle it in her condition. However, I am certain she won't allow herself to be left behind. And from the way Tomas is acting, it's clear he is unwilling to discuss strategy with Will in the room. But we really don't have a choice.

Raffe doesn't seem to have the same concern since he asks, “So now what?”

Tomas and I look at each other. I can tell he doesn't want to talk, but as this group's leader the decision is mine.

Taking a deep breath, I tell them about my brother and what is happening now in the rebel camp. Raffe and Stacia merely nod when I mention Zeen. They listen as, pulling out the list, I explain the strategy Tomas and I have devised. Two teams. Four targets. All to be reached between dusk and dawn, starting tonight.

“But we might have to revise that plan now that Stacia is injured,” I admit. “Maybe Ian . . .”

“No.” Stacia shifts and winces but says, “I'm going. You can't force me to stay behind.”

“She's right,” Raffe says. “We need all of us to make this work. Even if we could get word to Ian, I don't think he'd leave campus. He's determined to talk to as many of the rebel students as he can and sway them to ignore Symon's orders. If Stacia thinks she can handle this, then she should try. If she starts having problems then we'll deal with it.”

“Fair enough,” Stacia agrees. “So which one of you is going to be lucky enough to team up with me?”

“I will,” Tomas offers. “Out of all of us, I'd be the best one to help with the pain if it gets too bad.”

That's not the real reason. The look Tomas gives me as I start to object tells me I'm right. Any one of us would be able to apply ointment or dab on some of the plant-doctored solution that Tomas has created. But while I am sure Tomas would prefer to face what this night will bring together, as we faced so much of The Testing, doing so would force us to trust the two members of the other team to do exactly as they say they will. Tomas does not fully trust Raffe. I do not trust Stacia. Knowing that, this pairing is the only one that makes sense.

Raffe asks, “Who's going after Symon?”

“Who's this Symon?” Will asks.

“He's someone who works with Dr. Barnes.” Considering that enough explanation, I turn back to Raffe. “My brother is taking care of Symon.”

Raffe studies me for a moment and nods. “Even without Symon, I'm not sure we can cover all the ground that needs to be covered in this time frame.” He glances at the map I drew earlier with the locations of the targets. “If we want to draw the Safety officials away, the explosions will have to happen in the unrevitalized area on the other side of the city. Just avoiding the Safety officials is going to make getting there a challenge. Especially since they must be looking for all of us by now. Then add in the time to scout locations where we're certain no one will be injured and set the explosions . . .”

“You need someone the Safety officials aren't looking for to set the explosions,” Will says from the corner. “I volunteer.” When I shake my head, Will says, “The Safety officials aren't searching for me. I can make it through the city faster than you can. We saw the outskirts of that area of the city during Induction, so I know where I'm going. And no one will think twice if they see me after the explosions go off. They'll be looking for the four of you, only you won't be on the city streets. When I'm done, I'll come back here and be ready to help if you need it.”