Grey's Awakening (27 page)
Counting each second that went by, Sirus’s kept his focus solely on Grey. Grey drilled him with an equally probing stare in return.
Bastard. Bastard. Bastard.
Sirus waited until he heard an engine rev up, then slammed his fist into the worktable and exploded on Grey. “You son of a bitch.” His voice raged low, sounding like it came from the depths of hell. “You just had to do it. You couldn’t just accept us and leave something that was going pretty damn good alone. You had to go and put your hands on it, try and manipulate it, change it, and turn it into something
acceptable
and
worthy
of your time and interest.”
“What in the hell are you talking about?” Grey shouted, his hands thrown in the air.
“Do you have any idea how successful Rebecca’s galleries are? Do you even understand what a fucking big deal it was for her to take an entire day to come see your work? For her to express an interest in someone she thinks is talented enough to promote?”
“Of course I know she’s successful.” Sirus shot each word into the air with the precision of flying daggers. “She has to be, doesn’t she? You wouldn’t have anything to do with her otherwise.” Grey reared back, but Sirus made up the distance and got right in his face. “Another one of Greyson Cole’s successes. And that’s what you’re all about, isn’t it? Taking something unique, but small and inconsequential, and figuring out how in the hell to pretty it up to sell it to your investors. Me included.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, or why you’re so angry with me,” Grey spat back. “I was trying to help you. You have an artistic gift; Rebecca is one of the best at putting that gift out to the public. She can turn your art into a career.”
“Oh, and you would love that, wouldn’t you?” Sirus’s lips twisted in a sneer. “We start to open up to each other, you start to feel something for me that you want to take beyond a vacation fling—and I know you feel it.” He grabbed Grey and savaged his mouth with a brutal kiss, only to shove him away and point in his face. “Don’t you dare fucking tell me that you don’t. But you can’t possibly feel something for me, this guy,”
Sirus waved his arms up and down his stained jeans and flannel shirt, “a mere truck driver. No, not you. Not Greyson Cole, a successful venture capitalist who owns his own gazillion dollar business and heaven knows what else. You can’t possibly have real feelings for a truck driver. And God knows you don’t dare introduce me to your friends and colleagues. Not as I am right now. If I’m an artist, though, well, that’s respectable, that’s admirable, that’s maybe even a little bit coveted. But a guy who drives a big rig…
That’s not something you can dress up and put on your mantle to show off. That’s not something you even keep hidden in your nightstand drawer.”
“You fucking prick.” Grey grabbed Sirus’s shirt and shoved him into the edge of the worktable, unleashing incredible strength. “You need to be very careful about the words you’re putting in my mouth,” he whispered, his voice lethal. “You are painting my motives with some awfully broad strokes that you know nothing about. You might want to shut the fuck up before you say something you can’t take back.”
“What do you plan on threatening me with?” Sirus snarled the question. “Leaving?”
His chest heaved, and he put up a token struggle, spoiling for a fight. “You’re doing that in five days anyway.”
Grey shoved hard at Sirus, cracking Sirus’s head back as he took him all the way up onto the table. “We can make it a whole hell of a lot sooner than that, if you keep talking.”
“Hey!” A deep, rough voice rang through the tension-filled air. “Get the hell off him right now!”
Grey was suddenly lifted off Sirus and thrown in the direction of the door.
Standing between Sirus and Grey, like some avenging angel, stood Noah Maitland.
Noah Maitland.
Oh, this was just fucking perfect.
Grey took a step forward. “Si—”
“Stay the hell back,” Noah said, his voice cutting and low. His eyes flashed with something more than mere friendship. “If you don’t, I’ll tie you down and call the sheriff; I swear I will.” The man loomed large, standing in front of where Sirus kneeled on the table. Sirus shifted and put his hand on Noah’s shoulder.
Grey seethed, at both Sirus and Noah, and fought down the heady desire to do serious physical damage. He wanted to tear Noah’s arm off and beat the shit out of him with it. He hadn’t felt the urge to savage an entire building since he was nine years old, but right now he had to take a huge step backward and curl his hands into painfully tight fists so that he didn’t rip this studio to shreds.
Fucking bastard Sirus, accusing me of thinking he’s not good enough for me. If he
only knew how wrong he was…
Great sweeps of swirling, volatile emotion consumed Grey, making his entire body quake. It felt like every piece of his heart—
that this fucking man awakened
—was exposed and on display for everyone to see. For Sirus to see. To judge. To reject.
Grey
could not
have that. Nobody got that kind of power over him. Not anymore.
Sirus pushed himself to the edge of the table and swung his legs over the side, stumbling to a standing position. “Grey, listen—”
“No.” Grey held up his hands, praying the tremor vibrating through him did not show. “I think you’ve said plenty enough already. You have a guest.” His tone was pleasantly sarcastic in the face of wanting to snarl. “Stay and talk to him.” Grey looked Noah up and down, his heart growing even sicker at the rough attractiveness he found in every line of Noah’s hard body. He swallowed, and shifted his eyes back to Sirus.
“Maybe you’ll find something more to your liking here.” Blinking, he turned away.
“Goodbye.”
“Grey.” Sirus’s voice held Grey in place. “Stop.”
“Wait, Sirus,” Noah said. Out of the corner of his eye, Grey saw Noah wrap his hand around Sirus’s forearm. “I need to talk to you.” Noah’s jaw clenched visibly. “It’s important.”
Sirus hesitated, his attention going to Noah, and that was all Grey needed. Without looking back, he walked away.
Fast.
Grey yanked the closet door open and snatched his suitcase, throwing it on the bed.
He unzipped the thing, cursing the stubborn zipper that he knew was actually the clumsiness of his own fumbling fingers. Wanting to rail and shout blame at Sirus for this raging hurt eating its way through him, Grey turned it all inward, knowing it was his own fault.
He had broken all of his own rules, and he had done it willingly, so he had no one to blame for this awful twist of anger and heartache but himself.
Idiot
.
Idiot
.
Idiot
. On the very first night of his vacation, Grey never should have taken that step to Sirus’s door when he heard the man moaning. And he
never
should have kissed him that first time, let alone play with fire and start a sexual affair. He never should have come to this cabin in the first place. That was the only way to guarantee he and Sirus never would have met.
Not meeting that man was the only way to ensure Grey wouldn’t be suffering these ridiculous sweeps of emotion right now, ones that had him fighting the urge to run back to Sirus’s house and fuck him right in front of Noah, staking a claim in the most primal of ways.
Grey stalked to the dresser and pulled a drawer right off its tracks, taking it back to the bed and upending its contents into his bag. There could be no peace in this cabin now, not with Sirus right across the lake being all wonderful, sexy, stubborn, passionate …
open, in a way Grey could never be.
He couldn’t do this. He did not have the right skill-set for a relationship. Grey had forgotten his limitations for a few days, but he remembered them now.
Just look at how everything with Sirus went to fuck so quickly after just
trying
to share a piece of his soul. It couldn’t be a coincidence that it all went to hell only days after Grey cut open his guts and told Sirus about Joe, and then showed him pieces of his childhood. Christ, Grey had become the very man that had caused him to become celibate in the first place.
Someone weak, clingy and needy; someone desperate for love.
Grey caught a glimpse of himself as he passed by the mirror, and his heart stopped at the man reflected back at him. Gone was the put-together businessman with the piercing, cool gaze. In his place stood something almost feral, with flushed skin, hair in wild tufts, and hunted, fear-drenched eyes.
All because of one man.
“Christ.”
Unable to look at himself anymore, Grey slung a handful of ugly words at his reflection and then strode for the kitchen, needing a drink. He couldn’t stand himself in this pathetic state; no wonder Sirus let him walk away with hardly a word.
Pain tightened a band around Grey’s chest, making him stumble. Jesus Christ, he barely knew Sirus; there was no way this suffocating pain of loss could be real.
You know the most important thing; you know his soul.
“Yeah, but he doesn’t know yours.” Grey swung open the refrigerator door and leaned his hand on it, talking back to himself. “He proved that today.”
The rafters suddenly shook with a slam of the front door that rivaled Grey’s own.
“Greyson!” Sirus’s voice rang right on top of the slamming door. “Where the fuck are you? We need to talk.”
Grey grasped the fridge door in his hand, squeezing until the tips of his fingers turned pure white. His heart raced madly, but he stared at the contents inside, refusing to turn around, even when the air crackled and heated, and Grey knew Sirus now stood in the kitchen too.
“What is the matter with you?” Sirus’s voice reeked with combativeness. “We were talking. You don’t walk away in the middle of a discussion.”
Go away
. Grey squeezed his eyes shut, and spoke through gritted teeth. “There isn’t anything else I want to say to you.”
A growl erupted from Sirus, and a screeching noise assaulted Grey’s ears, making him think Sirus had kicked a chair out of his way. “Then maybe you need to shut up for a minute and listen to me.”
Every word Sirus spoke stabbed at the open wound in Grey’s chest. At the gaping hole Sirus had created, the one Grey could never let him see. “Go tell it to Noah.”
Sirus cursed something low and foul. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Suddenly, pure heat rode Grey’s back, and he knew Sirus stood right behind him. “Look at me, damn it.” Sirus grabbed Grey’s arm and spun him around, trapping him in the V of the open refrigerator door with spread arms. Mercury burned in Sirus’s eyes, turning them deep silver. “Are you trying to make something out of Noah being my friend?”
“I saw that wedding ring on his finger, but don’t for one second think I don’t know Noah is gay.” Grey looked Sirus right in the eyes, meeting the depth of passion and intelligence there. “And don’t you dare try to tell me that you don’t know it either.”
Red crept up Sirus’s neck from beneath his shirt and jacket, turning his face ruddy. “I do now. He told me today.”
“He wants you.” Grey shook, fighting sickness as he flashed back to the muted longing in Noah’s eyes that evening at the diner, then jumped forward to the aggressive protective streak that reared its head today. “For more than a quick fuck too.”
Sirus looked Grey up and down, slow and lingering, making Grey feel it along his skin, like one long caress. “And you’re just going to let him have me? Is that what you want?” Smoldering heat worked its way into Sirus’s eyes, running frissons of uncertainty through Grey. He had no idea if Sirus’s gaze turned hot for him … or Noah. Sirus lifted his hand and brushed his rough fingers across Grey’s cheek, catching his thumb on Grey’s lips. “You want to walk away,” Sirus said softly, “like you did today? You want me to stay with Noah and help him discover what it’s like to be with another man?”
A crushing wave of denial rocked through Grey, terrifying him to his core. He saw himself crawling into a hole and dying, and
could not
concede such power over his wellbeing to another human being. He schooled his features to his best, no-fear business face, and looked at Sirus through dead eyes. “Do what you want.” His voice was cool, but he turned around, needing to break the contact before it killed him. “It’s your life.”
Sirus moved in behind Grey and dipped his head down, putting his mouth right next to Grey’s ear. “So you want me to go home, pick up the phone, and call Noah.” Sirus’s voice sank into Grey’s very being, each word contaminating his blood. Sirus stepped in even closer, not stopping until his chest seared itself to Grey’s back. Slipping his arms around Grey’s waist, Sirus tugged Grey’s shirt out of his jeans. “You want me to invite Noah over, make him dinner.” Sirus paused, licking Grey’s ear as he unbuttoned Grey’s shirt and slipped his hands up his stomach. “Take him to my bedroom and fuck him.”
Sirus drew Grey shirt off his shoulders and arms, letting the fabric hang between his chest and Grey’s upper back where their bodies were fused together. Sirus rubbed Grey’s nipples, abrading the sensitive flesh and twisting the dark circles to hard points with his sandpaper fingertips. “Is that what you want?”
Grey pushed back against Sirus, grinding his ass into the man’s cock. Blinding, rage-filled jealousy reared inside Grey and did battle with the need to save himself from such an all-consuming passion, rendering him mute. Christ, he wanted Sirus to be his with every fiber of his being, but the fear of falling choked Grey’s throat, blocking the words.
“Maybe I should undress Noah.” Sirus pushed the flat of his hands down Grey’s torso, digging one hand under the waistband of his jeans. “Like I’ve done a dozen times with you.” He worked Grey’s buckle open with his free hand. When the belt gave, Sirus’s fingers slipped farther inside Grey’s underwear, to the root of his cock. “I could touch him,” the button on Grey’s jeans opened and his zipper slid down, “make him hard.”