Guardian of Eden (34 page)
Authors: Leslie DuBois
“Why did you do it mother?
Why did you lie? Why did you make me lie?” I wanted to reach out, grab her and shake the truth out of her, but touching wasn’t allowed at the Westbrook Corrections Facility for Women. A guard tapped her gun to remind me of that when I took a step closer to my mother. I stepped back and sat in the seat provided.
“There’s something you should know,” she said as she started tapping her foot on the floor. She sighed and bit her bottom lip. “The first time the abuse from my father escalated from just touching to sex, I was about 10 years old. He was in his study having a drink and playing that God awful song that I hate. You
know,
the Whiter Shade of Pale one. Then he came to my room and undressed me and got on top of me.” My mother paused and tried to swallow away the tears. “I called for my mother. I screamed for her and begged her to help me. She came to my room. I could see her through the partially open door. I thought she would help me and get him off of me, but instead she closed the door. Then she went and turned the music up to drown out my screams.
“A few years later when I asked her why, she said that it was my fault.
That I was too beautiful.
That I teased my father with ‘the succulent fruit of my virginity.’
She called me a whore.
“I hated myself. I felt like nothing. I was convinced she was right until I met your father. Then for the first time in my life, I felt like someone. He gave me confidence in myself and the hope that I could one day be happy.
“When I got pregnant with you I was so excited. Greg and I made plans to run away and get married. I could practically see myself staying home taking care of our beautiful child everyday while Greg went off to college. He was so brilliant, you know. Just like you. I wanted him to go to college so badly. I didn’t want to …I didn’t plan on ruining his future.”
My mother stood and checked her pockets with shaking hands. She was looking for a cigarette. “Linda, you got a smoke?” she asked the inmate at the next table. Linda simply shook her head and continued talking to her visitor.
My mother sat down again and began chewing her nails. She rocked back and forth silently while staring at a point on the table. I wasn’t sure she would continue until she said, “Then one night I came home and my father was drunk and playing that song. I knew he was going to attack me. I didn’t want him inside me tainting the perfect love that you represented.
“I went to his study, got his gun and I…I shot him. Then I called Greg.”
“
You
killed your father?”
She nodded. “Greg didn’t want you to be born in jail, so he took the blame.”
I couldn’t speak. I could barely breathe. My father was serving a life sentence for something he didn’t do.
“So, you see, Garrett, no matter what you
think
you did, I’m the one that deserves to be here, not you. You…you’re having false memories. I’ve read about things like this. You want it to be true so badly that you’re imagining it.”
“No, mother, I have proof. Corbin had a hidden camera in his room.”
Holly’s eyes bulged. “Who else knows about it? You can’t tell anyone, Garrett, you can’t! I swear to God, I’ll kill myself. If you tell anyone Garrett, I’ll kill myself. Do you want to be responsible for that?” My mother stood up and leaned toward me. The guard came forward to restrain her.
“Don’t do this to me, mother. Don’t make me choose between you and what’s right.”
My mother calmed herself enough for the guard to let her go then she sat down again. “Garrett, I’m begging you. You don’t deserve this. If I’d been a better mother, a better person, none of this would have ever happened.”
“Mom, I can’t-”
“Just destroy the tape. It’s over, baby. My sentence is up. I’m getting out soon. It’s over. Let it go.”
I had done all I could to take care of my sister. I think I did pretty well, too. She was a senior in high school, making excellent grades and she’d just been awarded a scholarship to Georgetown University. She wanted to attend the same school as
Maddie
. We’d finally gotten the happy lives we’d searched for. But I could no longer be happy knowing what I knew.
I wouldn’t be able to see her graduate from high school or help her move into the freshman dorms, but as I drove to the police station with the tape in hand, I hoped Eden would always know how much I loved her.
About the Author
Leslie
DuBois
lives in Charleston, South Carolina with her husband and two children. She currently attends the Medical University where she’s earning her PhD in Biostatistics. Leslie enjoys writing stories and novels that integrate races.
DuBois
No Sunshine
La
Cienega
Just Smiled coming Nov 2011.
Visit her
website
to learn more.