Gudsriki (43 page)

The kid pulled the guts from another. “I hope so, my arms hurt.”

Sporadic bodies littered the landscape, rotting, stinking. Not all of them dead.

“Praise him,” coughed one. “Praised be he!”

Vibeke kicked him harshly as she passed, bursting a massive tumor on his side that leaked pus onto the soil. The disgust overwhelmed her. She wanted to burn them all. She wished Nel would. But she couldn't say it. To say it would acknowledge it, and she would rather just move on.

“We focus on Mishka. We head for Alf's tank and ride it north. The sooner we get out of this place the better.”

“It is a bit like walking through shit,” said Nel.

“I love it when you talk dirty.”

Nel laughed. Vibeke was surprised for a moment but quelled the feeling, reminding herself that the machine had developed by leaps and bounds in its few weeks on Earth. Humor was the least of what she'd developed. The two walked into the forest toward the marker Kabar had wire loaded into Vibeke's head.

Nel followed close behind her. There were bodies in the forest, dozens strewn about with various fatal wounds. Torture marks. Vibeke felt endlessly thankful Nel was behind her. The sights they passed through were too grim to face alone, even for her.

“I really hate these people.”

“Me too,” said Nel.

“Hey, finally we have something in common.”

“Hatred seems a strange bond for love.”

“Seems, hatred unites people like nothing else.”

Finally, at extremely long last, the vast field of atrocities came to an end. It gave way to ruins. Burned black on one side. A nuclear blast must have hit not far away. Soon they could see the crater from the epicenter nearby.

“Can you produce a radiophobic field?”

“I already am. My Geiger counter suggests we're safe.”

“For how long?”

“We have three days to traverse the area, unless it rains. But it should only take hours.”

Vibeke walked faster. Nel followed, matching her pace.

The city remains were clogged with lines of penitents like ants, wandering together, starving. A few stray men and women also wandered, walking but not going anywhere. Vibeke was getting hungry. She walked up to a small gang and stood, her arms crossed.

“Any rapists around here?”

The gang looked at her, shocked and appalled. None spoke. Vibeke kicked dust at them.

One of the men at the corner of the group spoke up.

“It's them. It's them! The murderers!”

There were mumbles.

“The two women who killed Father Sander, and all the others!”

“Is what he said true?” asked an older man.

“Yeah. You wanna die too?”

One man stood. “I have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. Would you kill me just for that?”

Vibeke sighed. “Could if you wanted me to.”

“I would be a martyr! I would die for my Lord, for he died for—”

“If you wanna die just ask.”

“No, I do not seek martyrdom. But I belong to the Lord. You see, we all belong to the Lord, even you. We are all sheep. You have gone astray, but Christ died even for you! He died that you might be redeemed if you only accept him as I have, be willing to lay down your life defending his name and—”

Vibeke got sick of hearing him, so she tapped Nel, who microwaved him. Vibeke gutted him as the others watched and sat down to eat their friend right in front of them. She looked into their eyes as she ate. To them, she was surely the villain. The minion of the devil. The thought gave her great pleasure. She noticed Nel watching her eat, smiling.

When she was done they entered the crater. It was empty, just a sleek curve of green glass stretching almost a mile. It was eerily quiet. They could see ruins in every direction, penitents and wanderers on the edge, but they had the radioactive crater all to themselves, protected by Nel's field.

“This is a grim place,” said Nel.

“You have a knack for understatement.”

“How do you cope with it?”

“I don't know. How do you?”

“I take comfort in knowing we can kill the woman most responsible.”

“And the rest?”

“We can kill them later.”

“It would take years.”

“We have all the time we give the world before we end it.”

They walked on, glass cracking under them like ice with every step.

“Do you love me back?” asked Vibeke.

“My feelings for you match Violet's almost completely.”

“So the reality finally did it for you.”

Nel smiled. “You're quite a reality.”

“I thought I was a disaster.”

“You are. I've never seen someone so beaten and abused, trashed, ruined, sh—”

“Thanks, Nel. You can stop.”

“But you're still going in spite of it. I think you're the closest thing to invincible a human will ever be.”

Vibeke laughed silently and bumped gently into Nel. Nel bumped back.

“You're also really good in bed.”

They walked on, glass shattering and popping under them.

“What would happen if we dropped and did it right here?”

“Our skin would become embedded with radioactive glass shards.”

“Probably shouldn't, then.”

“Probably not.”

Vibeke shoved Nel over on her back, her head pointed down the smooth slope, cracking the glass under her. She fell to her knees, straddling her and pushed back her sealskin vest, rubbing her breasts. She leaned down and kissed her, slowly. She ran her fingers through Nel's crusty, bloody hair and dragged her lips down across her neck and collarbones.

“Is your back cut up?” she asked.

“No,” said Nel, “but thrusting or writhing motions will do it.”

Vibeke stood and reached down. Nel took her hand but weighed 135kg. Vibeke's feet only sunk into the cracked glass. Vibeke was wondering how best to lift her when Nel suddenly shot up and stood face-to-face with her.

“How'd you do that?”

“Hall thrusters.”

“Oh, of course.”

“Naturally.”

Nel kissed her on the cheek, and they walked on.

On the other side, the ruins stretched on for kilometers. The city of Stockholm grew taller as they got farther away from the epicenter. Buildings had survived. All seemed abandoned. It was getting dark, so they looked for a bed for the night.

They found a tenement building and headed inside. Clearing the building, they found a stockpile of vacuum sealed fruit. They sat across the table from each other and ate like it was 2230.

“You really love me more than Violet?”

“If I loved Violet at all, with what Veikko said.”

“I exaggerated the statistics, but it is likely he was lying.”

“I don't know. But you're right, it doesn't matter. Either way I felt for her and felt so desperate without her I needed—you.”

“I know I'm not what you wanted.”

“You're so much more than I wanted.”

“So you
do
remember sex with me.”

Vibs smirked. “I remember fragments, dyed green and rippling.”

“There's a bed in the next room if you want to try again.”

Vibeke stood up and dropped her sealskin clothes. Nel followed her and did the same. They crawled into bed and kissed.

They kissed passionately, holding each other tight and grabbing at every curve of skin they could feel out. Vibeke could hardly breathe. She couldn't breathe. She was crying.

She pushed past it and kept kissing Nel, feeling her chest, her neck, and feeling herself wracked by sobs.

“Are you—”

She held the back of Nel's head and kissed her and kissed her again until she couldn't take it anymore and sat up trying not to cry in front of her. Nel sat beside her and put her hand on her back.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Like I betrayed her. I want you so bad, and all I can think of is her.”

Nel didn't have any algorithm for what to say. Vibeke pulled on her own hair. Nel gently pushed her hands away and down.

“I'm so sorry,” said Vibs.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Severe psychological trauma is to be expected.”

“It's not trauma. It's how fast I could throw her away.”

“You haven't thrown her a—”

“I've thrown her away because if I had a choice of bringing her back or sticking with you, I'd stay with you.”

Nel sat still.

“I feel like I've lost her again, and it's my fault, again.”

Nel kept her hand on Vibeke's back. “Speaking as someone who's thought with a computer and thought with a brain, I can tell you there's not enough difference to sweat over. It's still programmed in, just sloppier. You had no chance to save Violet. And you have no chance to trade us.”

“Why doesn't that help?”

“I don't know.”

Vibeke lay down; Nel did beside her and pulled the covers over them both. Vibeke wondered if her feelings for Nel were a mere result of trauma, wondered if Nel was at all right that she'd survived. Surely whoever she used to be was beyond repair, utterly gone. What was she, then, but another woman, the burnt out hull of Vibeke?

“No wonder we fit together so well. We're both living remains.”

Nel looked to her. “Still up for necrophilia?”

Vibeke laughed and rolled to her and kissed her. She had no energy for sex. She just held on tight and fell asleep with Nel in her arms. She slept better than she had since the end of the world.

Nel stayed awake, trying to parse a feeling that invaded her compassion for Vibeke. To end her. She was so miserable, in so much pain, Nel could hardly stand to see it. She knew she could end it while Vibeke slept.

“Do it.”

“No.”

“Why not.”

“Because I—”

“Love her? You love her because she's all you've got. The way a dog loves its abusive master. You're an abused dog, Nelson. A wasted bitch. If you can kill her, kill her.”

“The fact you want me to is enough to stay my hand.”

“Admit it, admit you want to end the bitch.”

“I admit it.”

“Then why don't you do it?”

Nel thought for a moment. Was it a selfish desire to keep her, for her own pleasure? Or something deeper, that she really thought she could make Vibeke happy again.

“I don't know.”

“So do it. Snap her neck. Don't make her live in this awful world.”

Nel thought for longer than a moment. She caressed Vibeke's back, her neck. It would be so easy, so quick. A tear escaped her eye. Veikko had the wrong motives, but Nel knew he was right. Vibeke deserved better than the world she'd created. She deserved escape, reprieve. And Nel knew above all that she wasn't good enough to warrant Vibs staying. Vibeke was deluded, as she said. She didn't love Nel, didn't want to own her. She was insane and stuck with her. She was the abused, the dependent. Euthanasia would result only in Nel feeling lonely. Would it be worth the loneliness to see Vibeke free from hell? She had never learned to think of greed as a bad thing, but was she so greedy she would condemn Vibs to more just so she could have her?

“When you destroy her, come back to me.”

If only to disappoint him, she couldn't do it.

“I won't destroy her. And I'll never come to you for any reason but to kill you.”

“That's a start. Hate is a prelude to love. I heard you think as you went through it with Vibeke. If you could come to love her, you can come to love me.”

“You're disgusting, Veikko. In every way a man can be.”

“You're mine, Nel. In every way a woman can be. You just have yet to realize it, to appreciate how perfect I am for you. But soon, soon you will learn to appreciate me.”

In the morning they were awakened by two tough men with knives. Vibeke had hers broiled; Nel, of course, didn't eat. They took the knives and the men's superior clothes and shoes, and the jacket from the man who had one.

They headed north. Before long the urban buildings gave way to suburbs and the suburbs to more forest. They were nearing the marked spot where Kabar had sent them. The area seemed deserted for the most part, no more gangs, no families cowering over fires or roving tumor factories.

As the sun set, the region was almost completely silent. The only sound came from a bombed-out stadium where a crowd had collected. As they approached they saw fire-light. Everyone was clustered around some point of interest. Keeping a safe distance so as not to become the next point of interest, they climbed the bleachers and looked into the stadium floor.

At first they thought it was some kind of sport; people cheered and called out as some tangled bodies in the center grappled. But one body was huge. Man after man, sometimes five at a time, tried to jump on the target beast, all without success. They knew what the beast was, but at first there were so many people, they could barely see the poor creature. After it threw four of them off, they could see its eight legs—Alf's old tank.

Why K team had left it there Vibeke couldn't imagine, but it was clearly fully powered and functional. The tanks stolen from Sasha were not guided by full AIs, but they did know how to take care of themselves. Deprived of a driver they could flee dangerous areas and defend themselves with anything short of using their weapons systems, which had to be triggered by a human. Usually they let drivers on board. It seemed Veikko, in the redesign of this specific tank, had endowed it with the ability to decide who drove it. It was Alf's to be sure, but Veikko might have given other Valkyries a chance.

Vibeke whistled. The tank recognized her voice instantly and plowed free of the crowd. It ran to their perch and leveled its periscope at them. The crowd gave chase. As soon as the tank came close enough, Nel jumped directly onto it. On landing she could see that the crowd had managed to jam its shielding open with some scrap metal in an attempt to take it over. She dislodged the metal, got in, and closed the shield. She armed the forward cannons and aimed them at the crowd.