Guild of Truth 02 - Shield from the Heart (17 page)

Felix didn’t look like he believed it, but he put on a brave smile anyway. “Yeah, maybe.”

Sydney had known Felix for years and she knew how afraid he had been of his powers. He used to be terrified of where he might send something after Erasing it. They’d both hoped that once he became full-forced that he wouldn’t have to fear Erasing anything ever again, but apparently life just wasn’t that simple.

After more cautious studying of the “cat,” Felix Erased it back to wherever it came from. Sydney didn’t mind seeing it go. She and Merrick stayed and helped rearrange Felix’s living room back to its original form. By the time they finished Sydney had two missed calls from Joel.

She stepped out into the hall to get some privacy and called him back.

“Hey,” Joel picked up cheerfully. “What were you up to that kept you so busy?”

She filled him in on Felix’s cat from hell.

“Holy shit. Seriously?” Joel said when she finished.

“Seriously,” she told him. “I don’t know what could have done that to a cat, Joel.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s gone now,” he said, picking up on her unease. “And if you’re worried about your car I’m sure if you ask Felix real nice he’ll Erase it for you again.”

She smiled. “Maybe I’ll have him Erase another Yaris from a car lot and then bring it back right away, that way I won’t be out a car. I can’t keep borrowing yours.”

“You know I don’t mind,” he said absently. “But hot damn, are you considering thievery, Syd? I never thought I’d see the day. I’m so proud of you.”

“I’m not seriously going to ask him.”

Joel’s voice dropped. “Aw, come on. A little bad will do you good.”

“Except when I get caught with a stolen car.”

“Where’s that never ending optimism? Besides, I doubt you’d ever get pulled over. When was the last time you drove over seventy miles per hour on the freeway?” He made a few thinking noises. “Oh, I remember, when I accidentally broke my toe a year ago on that old, clunky metal frame you used to have on your bed.”

“You screamed like a little girl.” She laughed.

“I did not.”

When she hung up with Joel she felt lighter inside. She’d missed their easy conversations. She missed the uncomplicated friendship between them.

“Everything all right with Joel?”

Sydney jumped.

Cali had snuck up behind her. Her shoulder propped against the wall, arms crossed over her dark purple thermal top.

Sydney tucked her phone away. “Yeah,” she said with some relief.

Cali studied her carefully. “You still care for him, don’t you?”

Sydney’s relaxed muscles instantly stiffened. “What are you talking about? Of course I still care for Joel. He’s one of my best friends.”

Cali’s gaze never wavered. “But that’s all you see him as, isn’t it? A friend.”

Sydney’s lips formed the protest but the words never came. She’d been with Joel for nearly three years, he was her first love …

And suddenly she realized that she already viewed him as her first love and not her only love. Because she had moved on. Somehow, somewhere deep inside, she’d lost the intimate connection with Joel. She still wanted him in her life but now when she pictured his arms coming around her, she only felt comfort. There was no heating of her blood, no tickling awareness of his body, she only thought of him like an older brother. Like Felix.

Cali took a step toward her with her arms out as if to catch her. “Are you okay? You just went white as my canvas.”

“I’m over Joel,” she mumbled numbly.

Cali tried to catch her eye. “Sydney?” She gave her shoulders a little shake. “Are you with me?”

Sydney blinked. Never in a million years would she have thought this would happen. She was going to have to break Joel’s heart.

Her stomach twisted violently.

Cali backed up. “Okay, now you look green. What the fuck did you eat for lunch?”

You’re going to break up the entire guild.

Tears burned the back of her throat. She blinked her eyes rapidly to keep them at bay and looked into Cali’s eyes. She watched her carefully.

Everything Sydney wanted to tell her stuck in her throat. What if Cali thought her change of heart was a betrayal? Cali didn’t have any qualms about speaking her mind. And Sydney didn’t want to hear her worst fears voiced aloud.

She clamped her mouth shut.

“Sydney?” Cali searched her face.

“I’m fine,” she lied. “I could use some water though.”

Cali disappeared down the hall. Had Cali heard what she’d said? That she was over Joel?

What do you think?

She’d mumbled in front of a Silencer. Cali probably heard her loud and clear.

Not even ten seconds later Felix came down the hall. “Can I talk to you?”

She tampered down her sudden fear and nodded. Felix led her into his bedroom and closed the door behind them.

“What’s up?” She tried to sound unconcerned.

Felix ran a hand through his hair. Never a good sign. “Merrick just finished asking me a whole bunch of questions about Mirror Mates. That’s what’s up.”

Sydney wrapped her arms around her waist to stop the trembling. She’d completely screwed up. “What did he want to know?”

“Everything. What it felt like, how do you know if the woman you think is your Mirror Mate is the one? Sydney — ” He ran another hand through his hair.

Terror froze her in place. Her whole world was crumbling. Chaos everywhere. No order. Now Felix suspected that she and Merrick were Mirror Mates and Cali knew she no longer had sexual feelings for Joel. If they put two and two together …

Her head throbbed and she rubbed at her temples. She’d been holding her Shield up for a long time now. Those few seconds respite when she’d dropped it to allow Felix to Erase the “cat” hadn’t been long enough to reenergize.

That only brought into focus that she still had Jente to worry about. Not to mention they still had to find Kevin’s journal. That took precedence over everything else.

Pushing her growing headache aside she slid past Felix before he could say anything more incriminating.

“Where are you going?” he asked before she could completely escape into the hallway.

She forced her thundering heart to slow. “We have to find Kevin’s journal.”

He cupped her elbow to keep her in place, his brilliant blue-green eyes staring down into hers. “Sydney, this isn’t something to brush off. I think Merrick thinks you’re his Mirror Mate.”

She was suddenly very glad Felix wasn’t touching her hands because her palms instantly started to sweat.

He searched her eyes with his. His expression was nothing if not sympathetic and understanding. She could tell Felix anything. But he was Joel’s best friend. Just because she knew him longer didn’t automatically make him her friend more than Joel’s.

If Joel left the guild would Felix be forced to choose between them?

What if he chose Joel?

Her stomach started to cramp again.

Felix’s fingers tightened around her elbow. “It’s okay,” he said softly.

She looked away. “It’s close to dinner time. I’ll go pick up a pizza from Tom’s.”

It took her nearly ten minutes to convince Merrick that she could go alone to pick up a pizza. It wasn’t until she was on her way out that Cali pointed out she could pick up Niella and Luke from the clinic.

She’d wanted to be alone but she guessed some time to herself was better than none.

She slipped into Tom’s Pizzeria and inhaled the smell of garlic bread and pizza sauce. She must’ve been a little early because the dinner crowd hadn’t arrived yet.

“Hey, Sydney.” Tom came out from the back with his visor crooked as usual. She didn’t think she’d ever seen it on straight. “I thought you were on vacation.” There was no suspicious glint to his eye, just genuine curiosity. Sydney relaxed fractionally.

She forced a smile. “Not even a vacation can keep me away from your delicious pizza.”

He leaned against the other side of the counter. “That’s just sad,” he said while giving her one of his grins that used to make her heart flutter when she was a teen.

Thomas Larkin had owned the pizzeria a few doors down from her parent’s clinic for years. She’d met him when she was eighteen and worked part time with her parents at the clinic while attending college. She’d instantly developed a crush on the twenty-three-year-old pizza maker. It hadn’t been hard. Tom had clear green eyes, unkempt dirty blond hair, and a smile that had melted her eighteen-year-old heart. She’d tried numerous times to flirt with him but nothing had ever come out of it. It was one of her biggest regrets not pursuing Tom to see if anything could have developed between them. Yet at the same time she was grateful nothing had ever happened, it would have ruined their friendship and right now she needed someone like Tom — a close friend with no ties or biases whatsoever to the guild.

“Can I talk to you about something?”

The easy smile faded from his handsome face. His forehead wrinkled in worry. “What’s wrong?” He came around the counter.

She scuffed her shoe against the floor. “Nothing’s wrong, I just … need some advice.”

Tom went over to the front door and flipped the sign to “Closed.” “Come on into the back so we can get some privacy.”

This was why she loved Tom. She smiled gratefully at him.

In the back of the pizzeria she watched as he put together her order. “So,” he said after he loaded their pizza into the oven. “What’s on your mind?”

She snagged a green pepper out of a topping container and popped it in her mouth to buy herself some time to think. “What do you do when your feelings for someone you really care about change?”

Tom took a moment to dust his hands off. “I’m going to take a guess and say this is about Joel?”

She nodded.

Tom exhaled and joined her leaning up against the counter. “First of all, I think that changing feelings is natural. It’s a part of growing up.”

She gave him a flat stare. “I’m not sixteen.”

“Hey, you’ll always be that little eighteen-year-old to me.” He wrapped his arm around her and rubbed the knuckles on his other hand gently on top of her head.

She pushed him away. “I don’t want anyone to get hurt,” she confessed. “And you know how close-knit my guil — uh, my group of friends are. I don’t want to ruin the whole dynamic.”

“I hate to say this, Sydney, but you can’t stay with Joel out of some twisted obligation you feel for your friends. That’s not fair to you — or Joel. It’s perfectly normal to want to move on. That’s why we date, to figure out what we’re looking for in a life partner and what we’re not. You’ll find that one guy for you.”

“What if I already have?” she mumbled.

Tom stopped nibbling on his piece of Canadian bacon. “You already have? Meaning — ? Ohhh.”

She waited for the disappointment, the condemnation. It never came. “You’re not a bad person because of this, Sydney. You got me?”

“Easier said than felt,” she said.

“I’m serious.” His expression hardened. “You’re not a bad person. You can’t help what you feel. It’s as simple as that.”

“Okay,” she said because she didn’t know what else to say. She’d never seen Tom so fierce before.

He relaxed back into his easygoing demeanor. “Good. Don’t lose sleep over this either. You look exhausted.”

She was. She’d dropped her Shield on the way over. Cali could listen for Jente if he was hanging around Felix’s and she didn’t need to Shield herself while going to get pizza. Her body needed the rest.

Tom wrapped his arm around her shoulders again and she felt a comforting tingle throughout her whole body.

When Tom released her she felt loads better. Rejuvenated.

She gazed up at him. “What did you do to me?”

Tom tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

“When you hugged me … I felt … tingly.” Realizing her words could be taken in a totally different meaning, she flushed. “I didn’t mean — ”

Tom laughed. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure you were just exhausted and when you relaxed it helped ease some of that weight you’ve been carrying on your shoulders.” He pushed off the counter to tend to her pizza.

Her eyes followed him, her brow furrowed in thought. “I guess,” she muttered.

While Tom was busy she slipped back to the front of the pizzeria. Bad idea. The dinner crowd had arrived and they spotted Sydney.

“Uh, Tom?” she called to the back. “It looks like there’s an angry mob outside your place. You want me to flip the sign and let them in?”

“Give me a second,” he answered. She heard movement as he bustled around in the back before he came out holding her pizza all boxed up and ready to go. “Here.” He handed it to her. “Let me know how everything works out, okay?”

She didn’t want to lie to Tom, but she didn’t know if she’d be able to go through with breaking up with Joel. Their three-year anniversary was only a few days away. It would devastate him.

But which would hurt him more: breaking up with him before, or right after?

She could barely meet Tom’s eyes. “Okay,” she told him.

His green eyes warmed. “You can do it, you’re stronger than you think.”

At that moment she didn’t think so. She’d never been particularly strong or adventurous. If she was she’d have thought her powers would have reflected it. But what did she do? She Shielded. It was a fancy word for hiding. For cowardice.

A warm hand gripped her shoulder. Tom was still watching her. “I’m just a phone call away if you need anything.”

She smiled at him. “Thanks.”

• • •

“Finally.” Niella rolled out from behind the reception desk when Sydney came in. “Come on, Skywalker, our ride is here,” she yelled to the back.

Sydney hid her smirk. Niella liked to think she kept her distance from the guild, but what she didn’t realize was that when she used Joel’s nicknames and helped create titles, she was a part of the guild as much as anyone else.

Luke emerged from the back, his brown/blond hair falling into his eyes. He needed a haircut, Sydney thought absently.

He smiled when he saw her. “Your clinic is amazing,” he gushed. “I can’t believe you run this whole thing.”

Pride swelled in Sydney’s chest. “My clinic isn’t that amazing,” she said on instinct, even though she thought it was. It wasn’t very big but it was hers and she loved it. The first time Cali had seen it she’d commented on how small the place was. Sydney liked Luke’s reaction much better.