Guilty as Sin (28 page)

shoulder, she curled her tail around his waist. “But we
‟
ll talk about that tomorrow.

C
‟
mon, Dax, let
‟
s get you to bed. Mirry, can you help me?”

Dax forced himself to his feet. He wavered then steadied. “No.” He started toward

the door, trying not to lean on Lise and almost succeeding. “Lise is all I need.”

The words echoed in his head. That wasn
‟
t quite right, was it? he thought foggily as

they negotiated the stairs. Not just Lise, but Michael too. That feeling of completion, of

being…being whole, the way the gods meant him to be. On the other hand— He tried

to give the concept of having two lovers the solemn consideration it deserved, but he

was shaking all the way to the bone and it was hard to think. Gods! Complicated,

messy, insanely risky. The trust and honesty required put it right out of the question.

Michael would never—

But he wanted what he wanted, like a child with its heart set on some impossible

dream.

Every time he thought of them together—without him—something jerked low and

hard in his belly as if a cruel hook had been set there.
Left out
, it wailed.
I should have

been there and they left me out
. Pinpoint clear, he saw Michael
‟
s buttocks clench as he

thrust into her, saw Lise
‟
s head fall back, baring her throat for the Grounded
‟
s kiss.

Reeling, he clutched at the stair rails.

“Dax? Dax, are you all right?”

He didn
‟
t answer.

She would have cried out as the thief slid inside, deep, deep, where it was hot and

slick and wet, the paradise all men longed for. Lust and jealousy and pain roared

through him. Panting, he stared down into Lise
‟
s rain-dark eyes. In the shadows of the

stairwell, her worried face shone ivory pale. She cared, he knew she did.

The thief must have taken her sweet little nipples in his mouth to tongue and

suckle. He knew he would have done that. Had she stroked up and down that strong

brown back, so scandalously, wondrously naked? Had she traced the smooth

indentations next to Michael
‟
s spine with her fingertips?

He was half-hard and half dying. For a horrible moment, he thought he might faint,

but Lise threw both her arms around him until he steadied. Thankfully, Dax laid his

cheek against her hair, his thoughts whirling.

It would have been such a beautiful gift to share that with them. His belly ached

with longing. “Lise.” He hadn
‟
t meant to say it. Dax clamped his lips shut.

Michael
‟
s exasperated voice racketed around inside his aching skull.
She was

thinkin’ of you, idiot. Made me swear.

The awkward double gallop of his hearts slowed a little. He steadied, reaching for

the familiar certainties. As they paused for breath on the second landing, he peered into

Lise
‟
s face. “Why
‟
d you do it?”

“Do? Do what?”

134

“You know. With Michael.”

Lise
‟
s mouth dropped open. “How do you—?” Her flush was so fiery he couldn
‟
t

miss it, even in the gloom. Her wings snapped open, flaring with anger.

Dax gripped the stair rail before she tipped them both over.

“He
told
you? The
shit
, I
‟
ll skin him alive, I
‟
ll—”

She broke off, breathing hard. “C
‟
mon,” she said curtly. “Not far now.” After a

couple of steps, she fixed her gaze straight ahead and lifted her chin. “It was a mistake,

one I won
‟
t be repeating, but who I choose to— Godsdammit, Dax, it
‟
s my life and my

business.”

The fever had him all muddled, but there were things that were a part of him,

tangled with his heartstrings, woven through his soul. It wasn
‟
t possible to be confused

about them.

“Mine too,” he insisted. “‟Cause I love you.”

Lise hooked an ankle around his and maneuvered him so he was propped up in the

doorway of his chamber. Interesting trick. “Listen to me, this is just—”

“Always have. An
‟
I
‟
m safe with Michael. So are you.” His big circular bed looked

like an acre of paradise. He took a shambling step toward it. “He won
‟
t hurt us—not

much anyway.”

Lise had gone so pale she looked almost translucent, but her fingers were steady

enough as she lit the lamp. “What else did he tell you?”

“C
‟
mere.” Dax reeled her in with his tail and tucked her against his good side.

Groaning, he hit the mattress with a sort of ponderous grace, face first, bringing Lise

with him. Gods, that was good. He stretched, rubbing his cheek on the cool linen of soft

pillows. Before he could summon up enough concentration for further speech, his head

spun and the world went away for a while.

Something warm and wet and sweetly scented whisked over his jaw and down the

side of his neck. Dax smiled without opening his eyes. He knew that smell. “Mmm.

Lise?”

“You
‟
ll be more comfortable in a minute.” The cloth traveled across his shoulder

and down his arm.

“He collected all the feathers I lost, you know, and gave them back.”

“
Shh.
We
‟
ll talk about it tomorrow.”

Dax grabbed the cloth and the hand, and moved them to his chest. Oh, that felt

good. He purred, his nipples peaking with a delightful shiver. “I
‟
m in trouble, aren
‟
t I?”

Lise removed the cloth and produced a soft towel. Briskly, she began to dry him off.

“What do you think? You disappeared without leaving a message.”

Stretching, he threw his hands above his head, abandoning himself to her

ministrations. “Oh, that
‟
s nice. Don
‟
t stop.”

135

“All I could find out was that you
‟
d been seen with Michael near the west gate.

Godsdammit, I should—” Lise sighed, but the movement of the thick velvety fabric

over his skin didn
‟
t cease, only slowed to a languid sort of rub. “You
‟
ll keep,” she said,

threat implicit in her tone.

Dax chuckled. “I
‟
m looking forward to it.” Dreamily, he gazed up into worried gray

eyes. “I knew the first time I saw you. You don
‟
t remember, do you?”

She laid the backs of her fingers against his cheek and her brow creased. “You
‟
re

still burning. Come on, go to sleep.” She hesitated. “Can you do that? For me?”

“You humoring me, chick?”

Lise let a beat go by then she said, “You
‟
re babbling, Dax. Talking nonsense. Once

the fever breaks—”

“Nothing will have changed.” He cupped her jaw, ran his fingertips over the shell

of her ear and up to the pointed tip. “I
‟
ll still be in love with you.”

When she murmured and shook her head, he urged her closer so he could nuzzle

her cheek.

“I
‟
m sorry, sweetheart,” he whispered. “I didn
‟
t mean to worry you.” Awkwardly,

he patted her shoulder, stroked her gleaming gray feathers.

Gradually Lise relaxed, her body fitting snugly all along against his. “You
‟
re my

colleague, my…friend. What did you expect? That I wouldn
‟
t care?”

“Actually, I was hoping you
‟
d care a lot.”

“Dax, I do, but now
‟
s not the time.” When she stroked his hair, her fingers

trembled. “It
‟
s the fever. You
‟
re not making sense.”

Poor darling, she sounded almost frightened.

“Am too,” he mumbled, lifting his good wing and snuggling her under it. “Stay,

chick.” He tightened his grip, coiled his tail around hers. “Promise you
‟
ll stay with me

awhile.”

“Yes.” With a sigh, she relaxed against him. “I thought— Oh Dax.” Her voice

cracked a little.

“
Shh.
” When he lifted her chin and kissed her, she kissed him back, quick and hard.

Then she buried her face in the curve of his neck and clung, so unlike his calm self-

contained Lise, he had to smile.

Still smiling, he let exhaustion take him, toppling off the edge into a black cottony

chasm. He slept.

In the hour before dawn, Dax thought someone took his hand in a cool, strong grip.

“
Mmm
,” he murmured. “Chick.”

When she didn
‟
t answer, he levered his eyes open. Michael
‟
s sharp-angled face

hung over him. He looked tired and…irritated.

Dax grinned. By the Veil,
godspeace
was good stuff. He raised a hand to touch, to tug

the thief down, but Michael swayed back out of reach.

136

“I don
‟
t want to be here,” he said, halfway between a snarl and a whisper. His eyes

gleamed, hard as polished wood.

“‟S all right. I
‟
m asleep,” said Dax. “Good dream though.”

The thief glanced at the bandages. “They fix you up?”

“I
‟
ll be fine.” Dax stretched experimentally. “Fever
‟
s gone.” When he concentrated,

the mists cleared a little. He blinked. “Oh, I
‟
m awake.”

Some of the tension left Michael
‟
s shoulders. “Good. I spoke to the man who hired

out the
vran
to Veryl, but he couldn
‟
t tell me much. Bastard paid full fee, didn
‟
t even

haggle.” He studied Dax
‟
s face, his mouth twisted into a wry curve. “Sorry.”

“Doesn
‟
t matter. We could have expected that. Someone will have seen him in the

area. We
‟
ll just start all over again.” Dax stroked Lise
‟
s hair. “After she
‟
s had a decent

sleep.”

Michael
‟
s glance shifted to Lise, her nose pressed into Dax
‟
s neck, the gray of her

plumage a sharp contrast against his bronze. Very slowly, the thief reached out and

stroked, his fingers sliding from one wing to the other.

“You want her, don
‟
t you?” murmured Dax. Should he push? The gods knew,

every instinct urged him to risk it. This was the rest of his life, after all. “Don
‟
t worry,

thief, she
‟
s fathoms deep, you can tell me the truth.”

Michael ran a fingertip over the pearly sheen of a gray plume. “Yes,” he said

quietly. “Very much.” Hazel eyes lifted to stare, a direct challenge. “I want you both.”