Guilty Pleasures (4 page)

She dropped her purse on the kitchen island. “The doctor made me uncomfortable.”

Michael looked up from his financial papers, concern in his eyes. “Really? Why did she . . . ”

“He.”

“Excuse me?”

“The doctor was male.”

“Oh.”

“Didn’t you know the doctor was a man?”

Michael shrugged. “It never occurred to me. A friend at the club gave me the card. The doctor’s name was Lindsay, and the cards were lavender. Kind of girlie. I just assumed.” He laid the papers on the table, his eyes narrowing. “Did he come on to you?”

Vivian looked away as she felt her flesh heating again. “No. I just wasn’t comfortable.” She wasn’t about to tell him about Dome and Anton.

“We’ll find you another doctor,” he said as if everything were settled.

Vivian crossed her arms over her chest. “No we won’t. I did your thing. I tried it. I’m not going to therapy because you want sex. Get a mistress like a normal man, and leave me the fuck alone.”

He arched a brow, his expression darkening. “I don’t want a mistress. I want you.”

“Well, you can’t have me. I’m not your sex toy that you can just take off the shelf whenever it suits you.”

His chair scraped out, and he advanced on her. “Do not try my patience, Vivi.”

She stared him down, unwilling to let him win again. “Don’t bully me, Michael.”

He looked for a moment as if he would do something rash. Backhand her, maybe. Or perhaps lift her skirt and bend her over the kitchen island to take what he wanted. Like Anton had. She held her breath, half-hoping he would.

“I’m going to the gym,” he said, instead.

When Michael had gone, Vivian went to take a bath in the downstairs tub. She lathered and scrubbed her skin raw, trying to erase what she’d done. No, what Anton had done. She was the victim, here.

But even as she thought it, she wasn’t sure she believed it. Was she reframing this so she didn’t have to feel guilty for what might be classed an affair of sorts? No, he’d planned to do what he’d done with or without her consent. He’d shown her how her avenues of escape had been shut down. Her consent didn’t matter.

Was she trying to scrub his violation off, or her own internal submission to the way he’d played her nerve endings like a well-tuned instrument? She absently turned on the jets and found herself sliding down, twisting her body until the pulsing water vibrated against her clit.

Gripping the side of the tub, she pressed herself harder against the stream. Her mind drifted to Anton’s hands inside the most private parts of her, fanning the flame of a desire she couldn’t remember feeling before. Her breathing sped faster as she came, then sagged against the tub, waiting for the pounding in her chest to slow.

She jumped when she heard the front door and fumbled to turn off the jets, trying to get her breathing to appear normal, trying not to look like a woman who’d had her second great orgasm of the day.

The bathroom door burst open, and she threw a towel over herself. Michael looked annoyed by the display of modesty but didn’t comment.

“Have you seen my cell phone? I thought I had it with me.”

“Why do you need your phone for the gym?”

He rolled his eyes and shut the door behind him. A few minutes later, the front door slammed again, the car started, and she was alone.

As she climbed out of the tub, her legs trembled from the adrenaline surge of almost getting caught.

When Michael returned, his mood
had shifted. Vivian had the momentary fear he’d taken her up on her casual challenge to take a lover, that maybe he already had one.

He kissed her cheek. “Get dressed. The little black number with the slit up the side. I’m taking you to that Japanese steakhouse you like.”

Vivian took a physical step back. Things had been strained between them for months, and now he was acting like he had at the start of their relationship.

Her eyes narrowed. “Why?”

“Can’t I take my wife out? You’re right. You aren’t my slave. I bring in very healthy money, and we don’t get to spend a lot of time together doing couple things like we used to.”

She was sure her face still held the wary expression. Who was this and what had he done with grumpy, sexually-frustrated Michael? Was it a ploy for sex? She wouldn’t do therapy, so maybe he could seduce her by dating her?

Even if that was his aim, she wasn’t sure why she should be angry about it. It just felt so mercenary and plotted-out. She’d seen glimpses of her husband in his business dealings. He was a manipulative shark, always knowing exactly how to play on the right emotion to lead his opponent down the path he wanted them on.

The trait had seemed sexy at first, but over the years her trust in him had diminished as she saw just how well he played the game of
good cop/bad cop
. Could she trust anything from him? Any declaration of love? Any gentle caress? The dinner-date-your-wife scheme was a tactic on the same level of what he played in business dealings.

She plastered the
good wife
smile on her face and decided to go along with it. Fighting him wouldn’t do any good. If he was willing to be pleasant, for however long it lasted, she would accept the reprieve. And she
did
like the Japanese steakhouse.

An hour later she was dressed as he’d asked, with her hair in a dramatic upsweep. Her manicure was still fresh from the day before, and the striking red of her nails added an extra touch of sophistication. Michael stepped out from his walk-in closet, dressed sharply in Armani, his cologne wafting to Vivian’s nose.

The man knew how to wear just the right amount. On the first inhalation, one wasn’t sure if it was cologne, a special soap, or if he just naturally emitted such a pleasant aroma. Unlike many, he didn’t take a bath it in. He used the smallest amount and let it blend with his natural, male scent.

Her heart lurched in her chest.
Stop
, she thought. She couldn’t let herself love him again. Too much had come between them. She couldn’t feel safe sharing the deepest parts of herself with this man.

It didn’t help that she couldn’t shake the belief, irrational or not, that he continued to stay with her as a financial decision to avoid losing money in a divorce or out of social obligation to a woman who’d never learned to fend for herself.

His hand cupped her elbow as he steered her toward the door. It was a possessive move, akin to how a man might place his hand on the small of a woman’s back, while leading her through a crowded venue. A bolt of something she could barely remember shot through her at his touch, and she was simultaneously assaulted with sense memory of Anton’s hands on her earlier that afternoon.

Michael didn’t seem to notice her reaction. “Shall we go?”

Vivian nodded, not trusting her voice.

The restaurant was busy, but a reservation had been made, probably before Michael ever left the gym. She bristled at him making a reservation without so much as mentioning it or asking her opinion.

A petite Japanese woman took menus from behind the hostess stand and led them to an empty table.

A few minutes after they’d placed their order, a porcelain bottle of sake was placed on the table along with two small cups without handles. Michael had told her what they were called once before, but she couldn’t remember.
Ochoko?

When the waiter left, Michael poured the alcohol. Vivian sipped the cool, sweet liquid.
Sakura
served only top-notch sake. It was the cheaper grades of the beverage that were typically served warm. She remembered drinking it warm before she’d met Michael, back when she’d had very little money and thought it was supposed to be served that way.

He’d gently teased her the first time he’d brought her here when she’d complained about the temperature of her drink.

“Hello, Mrs. Delaney.”

Vivian looked up, startled from the memory, to find Dr. Smith standing beside their table. He nodded at her husband. “Michael. It was good meeting you today.”

Her husband nodded back.

Vivian’s eyes narrowed. “I thought you didn’t know the doctor.”

“We met at the gym earlier. You know what a small world it is at the nicer clubs. He mentioned
Sakura
. I didn’t realize he’d made dinner plans here as well.”

Vivian rolled her eyes, not buying it for a minute. “Is this some trick to talk me into going back to therapy?”

Dr. Smith looked surprised. “You aren’t coming back?”

Michael put down his cup. “Stop being so paranoid, Vivi. He mentioned it. I got the idea to bring you. I didn’t think we’d run into him. I’m trying here.”

Vivian wasn’t convinced. It seemed too much like a set-up.

“I do apologize. I saw the two of you and decided to come by and say hello. I thought it would be rude not to.” The doctor quickly excused himself.

“Vivi, I swear I didn’t know he was coming here tonight.”

Vivian stood from the table. “I’m going to the ladies room.”

But she didn’t go to the ladies room. Instead, she followed Dr. Smith to the back of the restaurant. He appeared to have come to
Sakura
alone, no wife or girlfriend on his arm. Maybe he’d met up with friends. Or maybe it really was a set-up, orchestrated by Michael to try to get her back into therapy. But if that was true, neither man had made much of an effort toward that goal.

Vivian caught up and placed a hand on the doctor’s arm, causing him to slow his stride.

He looked down at her hand. “Mrs. Delaney?”

“I just need to know.”

He guided her into the coat room, away from the noise and bustle of the restaurant. His eyes crinkled at the corners. “And what is it that you needed to know, Mrs. Delaney?”

She suddenly became tongue-tied, unsure how to phrase her question. The question that had been burning through her since Anton’s fingers had turned her body into a raging furnace of need. “Um . . . ”

He crossed his arms over his chest and regarded her, amused. He seemed to know exactly what she would ask, but enjoyed watching her struggle to find the right words.

“When you sent me to Dome, did you know?”

“Know what?”

Of course, he would make this difficult. She flushed with embarrassment. If he did know, she had to find out why. If he didn’t, she owed it to every other woman who crossed the threshold of the therapist’s office, to tell him.

“Did you know that Anton would touch me?”

“Yes, Mrs. Delaney. That would be in the job description of a massage therapist.”

“No! I mean . . . did you know he’d touch me inappropriately?” she said, growing more flustered. What kind of person suspected such vile behavior from a doctor? Yet, he had made the recommendation.

“I did, yes.”

She was speechless for a moment, not quite able to believe he’d admitted to sending her willingly to a spa to be molested. “Why would you do that to me?”

He took her arm and eased her into a corner. His large hand slid along her thigh, moving beneath the slit of her dress. “Anton lets me sample some of his ladies in exchange for sending them to him. Though normally I don’t get to sample quite this soon in the process.”

For the second time that day she felt the wetness soak through her panties as the doctor’s lips grazed the side of her neck.

“Too soon in what process?”

He chuckled against her throat. “You’ll find out soon enough, my dear.”

She pushed against his chest, and was shocked when he voluntarily backed off. “Are you even a real doctor?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know.” She tried to move past him, but his broad body blocked her exit. “I’ll tell Michael what you’ve both done.”

“No you won’t. You’ll lose him, and you know it. Your credibility will never be higher than mine, and Anton’s when he shows your husband the video.”

Lindsay pressed her against the wall and left a soft, lingering kiss on her neck. Vivian felt her pulse pounding at his lips. She shuddered and struggled to get away. The doctor’s hand moved underneath her dress, his fingers brushing against the wetness of her panties.

“Let me go,” she said.

“It doesn’t feel to me like you want that. You’re such a responsive little thing. Why couldn’t you respond this way for your husband?” His words held no accusation, only curiosity.

Vivian squeezed her eyes shut and looked away as his hand began to grind against her heat. She was horrified to find her hips betraying her to press harder against him.

His mouth moved close to her ear. “Is it the danger you love? Is it strangers, the thrill of someone you don’t know running his hands all over you? Perhaps you just need variety. The newness, the excitement.”

She whimpered, her eyes meeting his, pleading with him to stop because she didn’t trust her voice, or how it would sound coming out of her throat just then.

He considered her for a moment, then shook his head. “No, that’s not it either. You like being under someone else’s control. You get off being dominated like a bitch in heat.”

Though his words were cruel, his tone was soft, soothing, nonjudgmental. Her eyes widened at that, not sure what to make of him. Not sure why she didn’t scream, or try harder to get free.

“Yours is a token struggle, isn’t it?”

She looked away again, unable to bear the perception in his gaze, wondering how many others like her he’d done this with, and why the idea excited her so much.

“Just let me go. Please. I can’t . . . I can’t take this.”

“If you can tell me honestly that you don’t like what I’m doing to you right now, I’ll stop.”

A finger slipped beneath the satin fabric of her panties to touch the yielding, soft flesh and incredible wetness. She flushed.

“Tell me something, Vivian.”

Her eyes shot up to meet his at the use of her first name.

“If you were single, would you struggle?”

“Yes.” She
would
struggle. Because if not for Michael and the idea that she couldn’t just give in sexually to other men, she would have to struggle to avoid dealing with what could be wrong with her to be so turned on by this. Two attractive males touching her against her will, making her wet. Making her writhe for them.