Gut Instinct (8 page)

They both headed for the dance floor,
as ”
Girl I’m
gonna
make you sweat....” came blasting out.

As the night went on Lizzie thought that Ivan wasn’t coming, she had brushed off a few guys tonight that had shown an interest in her and would be well pissed off if he didn’t show she
thought, because they had all moved on to someone else now, she’d drunk more than usual too, probably down to her nerves she thought.

She was beginning to realise that her expectations in a man were spot on, expect nothing and you won’t be disappointed she thought.

“Look at him over there” Brenda piped
up,
she could see that Lizzie was not her usual happy self

“He’s fucking ugly, there’s hot sex, fast sex, group sex, leather sex, and telephone sex, but for people with faces like his there’s........... Masturbation” she chuckled.

Brenda had been
cracking jokes all night and Lizzie
was finding it harder and harder to laugh due to her deteriorating mood.

*****
****

The night had been a good one Lizzie thought as she waved Brenda off in a taxi, and now it
was
gonna
get better she shivered as she clung on to Ivan’s arm like she feared him escaping. 

He hadn’t got there
un
til the last hour and she’d begun to think that he wasn’t coming.  She could feel her mood dropping as the time went on and believed her irrational fears that he had got sick of waiting, and wished that she had given it him sooner.  So when he did saunter in without a care in the world and headed straight for her she was elated. 

It was fascinating how quickly her mood changed at the sight of him, she’d never let him out of her sight since, even followed him to the toilet.  This one was not getting away she thought, not now, not ever.

She didn’t even let the lipstick mark on his cheek perturb her for long.  Probably some tart trying to kiss him on his way in. she consoled
herself
with this and was going to stick to it, nothing was going to spoil this night.

They jumped in the next taxi and couldn’t keep their hands off each
other;
she made it clear to
him that he was definitely on a promise tonight. 

As he was paying the taxi she fumbled nervously with her front door keys.  She got more nervous when she liked them a lot, more eager to please, more anxious that her performance would be satisfying enough to keep them hanging about.

He was behind her now
,
as she entered the house, tearing her clothes from her, gasping and groaning in prolonged anticipation.  She dropped her bag on the sofa and fumbled with his flies, feeling for his erection with her groping frantic hands.  They fell to the floor naked and he plunged into her like it was his last shag, resembling a mad man believing that she was going to change her mind and push him away when he was at the point of no return.

He bit into her neck
overpoweringly at the same time as his whole body convulsed. Then i
t was all over, within seconds, leaving her
feeling frustrated, dissatisfied and
fucked off!  He climbed off, arrogantly stepping back into his pants and had the audacity to ask her if she’d got anything to e
at.  No apology, there was no humiliation
or awkwardness or
any
embarrassment at his premature ejaculation. 

“That was good” he said emerging himself into her sofa with no apparent comprehension of what he had just done.

She
dawdled
in the kitchen
, trying to calm down, four fucking weeks without
a
shag
and then when I get one it wasn’t worth the effort she thought. She
made him a potted beef sandwich contemplating whether to spit in it and then
made excuses that she was tired,
and that he needed to go, and “yes, of course she would meet up with him next week, she was looking forward to it.”
 

She went to bed feeling depressed and lonely yet again, minus one orgasm!

She tossed and turned in bed, both with sexual frustration and her mind doing somersaults. 
What now she thought, she’d put all her money on him, had high hopes, she’d gone off him big time now.  It wasn’t just the sex, they could have perhaps worked on that, it was his bloody arrogance.  That’ll teach her to put all her eggs in one basket!

Twenty minutes later, the door went.  What’s he want now she thought as she got up to answer it.
I kept my mouth shut earlier, but I
won’t
now, I’ll give the arrogant bastard what for!

Chapter
Twelve

“Another one bites the dust” he thought rubbing his hands together in excitement. 
I
enjoyed this one, she’d been easy to dupe
, big
tits and colossal empathy this one had.  Fell
for my
sob story like a good ‘un.  It had been quick too, quicker than the last one, probably down to all the drink she’d had.

I’ve
been watching her for months, just like all the others and she was one of the biggest tarts
I have
seen down Jason’s
,
different man every week, rubbing herself indiscreetly up and down their bodies well before the last dance.
What was the matter with these girls had they no pride.
A real
fucking tease she was, knew she’d have them by the short and curlies and in her bed by the end of the night.  Men were weak always had been when it came to their cocks, didn’t care where they dipped them as long as they dipped them.

And more than a hundred had dipped them in my mother!

My
mind
never lets me forget my childhood and my
mother, although lord knows how she could be called anyone’s mother.  Biggest tart of the lot,
I wish
someone had snuffed
her lights out and I
’d been adopted by some ‘Mary
Poppins
’ style mother how different my
life would have been.  Maybe
then
I
woul
d have been happy with who I
was.

I absentmindedly rub the scar on my
forehead remembering that day as vividly as if it was yesterday.
 

I
’d been about seven
years old
and she’d had her usual Friday night out at the local working men’s club and
had left me
on my
own
again
, somet
hing she had been doing since I
was five. 

She’d broug
ht home yet another Friday night guy, obviously just wanting one thing as per usual
. 
She could never remem
ber their names, but this one I could, his name I will never forget
. 

This man
scarred
me for
li
fe,
the memories send a shiver d
own my
spine.
I d
oubt he’d kn
ow the dama
ge he caused not now, doubt he’d even care.

She
had
come into my bedroom and as I
stirred
had
said “Don’t fucking leave this bedroom in the morning pig face, not until I call you.  I like this one and I want him to get to know me and like me back before he meets you and runs a fucking mile, do
ya
hear” 

I
nodde
d
, stil
l half asleep.  This was what I
had learned to do, nod at anything she said.
  It was always a request of me
, never an offer so
most the time I knew that I had to say ‘yes’ it became my
natural response to everything she said rather than get battered or worse.

The usual gruntin
g,
pantin
g and screaming noises
had co
me
rumbli
ng through the thin walls and I
’d kno
w
n
that I
wouldn’t get any sleep till it
was all
over.  Sometimes it would go on all night,
but
that night it had
n’t.

Part of me
had wished it had,
and then
I
wouldn’t
have
fallen
into such a deep sleep.

The next morning I
’d wo
k
e
n
up soaked through, I had wet the bed again, my heart sank,
and I
knew now for sure that I
was going to get a battering,
this petrified me
.

I looked
at my
Mickey
Mouse
clock on my
bedside table and it was only eight o’clock, 
if she was still asleep I
could get the sheets in the washer/dryer and
then
when she
crawled
b
ack to bed after her lover had left,
which she usually did, I
could put them back on the bed again.

I
’d
crept downstairs, no smells of bacon drifted u
p
which was
a good sign
, I
knew her usual pattern
by then, you see.
She would
give them the fuck of
their life, then
cook them a breakfast to show off her homemaking skills.
  Sure that this would make them want her.
There
were no
sounds of false laughter, the house was silent, another good sign. 

I’d
walked into the kitchen bottomless
,
only wearing
my
pyjama
top
which was
two inches to
o
short for me
, the smelly, stained
sheets dragging behin
d me
.

I
’d switched
on the light and
stood there petrified
, there
she was in her dressing gown sat on his knee kissing him, for seconds they didn’t
notice me, too engrossed in their immoral act and I
thou
ght I
might just be able to
turn around and go back upstairs.  But it was too late
they had
both looked up and had seen me
.  Her face
instantaneously
s
crewed up in rage
and he
, the man,
had
just rolled about laughing at the sight before his eyes.
Pointing at something a stranger should never have seen.

She’d told me not to go downstairs but I
hadn’t
known she’d be up yet.  I
could tell she was furious and he
, the man,
had f
ound my
half nakedness funny,
he’d laughed at me
, howled in fact
pointing as if I
had three balls,

I
ran back upsta
irs in shame, mortified that my
boyhood
had been laughed at and that I
’d wet the bed at the
perceived grown up age of seven, and this guy had though
t
it funny.

I
didn’t know which had been worse, the shame or the battering
that I
got ten minutes later after the guy had
abruptly left,
telling her she perhaps needed to sort her son out, she hadn’t even been able to
give him one of  her special breakfasts.

Once again it had been
my
entire
fault;
the guy wo
uld never come back now after I
had humiliated her. 

She  hit me so hard that she’d split my
head open, would have needed ten stitches at least if
she’d been good enough to take
m
e
to t
he hospital, but no just gave
m
e
a band
age and told
m
e to wrap it around my
head and shut up whining.