Halcyon Rising (23 page)

“The plague did not come to your village because of anything you did, Sebastian. And even if I were to send you back there with the full arsenal of Halcyon’s medical expertise, you would not be able to save them all. Rhoswen is right. You would be better served in working with our scientists to try and find a cure.”

“What could I contribute?” Sebastian asked, with a humorless laugh. “I do not belong here.”

Oberon eyed him speculatively. “You have surprised me, Sebastian. You’re nothing I expected you to be and far too honorable for your own good.”

Sebastian met his gaze squarely. “There is no such thing as too much honor.”

“Be that as it may, I find that I must put my faith in you. Rhoswen will never forgive herself until she knows what happened to Trevelan.”

A feeling of foreboding crept up Sebastian’s spine. “What does Trevelan’s fate have to do with me?”

“Here is my proposal,” Oberon replied. “I’ll allow you to leave and give you the medicines you need to do what you can for your people. In return, you must find Trevelan and send him back to us.”

“What of Rhoswen?” Sebastian asked. “She will want to go with me, but I do not want to put her in any further danger.”

Oberon nodded, and Sebastian knew that in this at least, they were in agreement. Neither wanted any harm to come to her. “If you rescue Trevelan, you’ll earn Rhoswen’s undying gratitude.” He gave Sebastian a pitying look. “No matter how much she’s grown to care for you, Trevelan is her chosen mate. I’m sure you’ll agree it’s best for everyone if things go back to how they were before.”

Chosen mate.
Her attachment to Trevelan, and his to her, suddenly made perfect sense. They had been more than friends all along.

All his old doubts about whether Rhoswen had pretended to care for him simply to ensure her escape came rushing back. He could not blame her, but it still hurt. Even more so, after having heard from her father the truth he had not even wanted to admit to himself.

He loved her. Jesu Christ, he loved her so much.

Oberon had not offered him the choice of coming back. No possibility existed of him rejoining Rhoswen and living the rest of his life freely in this beautiful place, exploring the wealth of knowledge he coveted. He sighed, knowing it had been too much to expect. Besides, Oberon was right, Rhoswen was far better off with Trevelan.

“Thank you, sir,” he said, wondering why it hurt so much to get exactly what he had claimed to want. “I will do my best not to let you down.”

* * *

Rhoswen paced the length of her apartment, waiting anxiously for Sebastian to return from his meeting with her father. Once the messenger delivered him back to sickbay, Kaylee had agreed to redress his wound and then bring him to Rhoswen. They’d both decided he’d recuperate far better in Rhoswen’s comfortable apartment than the sterile, impersonal hospital room.

Besides, she wanted him to see her home, wanted to spend a few days with him in her own private space before she asked him to help her rescue Trevelan and risked ruining their relationship forever.

Was it too much, to want to create one more wonderful memory? To take one more night for herself, while Trevelan suffered untold agony on the Surface? She told herself that it was necessary, that Sebastian needed another day to recuperate before he attempted to return to Hawkesmere, but she still felt guilty.

In truth, all she really wanted to do was keep Sebastian here in Halcyon. She wanted to see the look on his face when she showed him the library, wanted to watch him achieve his amazing potential as a scientist and researcher. Most of all, she wanted him in her bed every night for the rest of her life. Trevelan’s odds of still being alive were slim, and she couldn’t bear the thought of losing Sebastian on a wild goose chase.

But if there was a chance…

Trevelan’s life was more important than her reckless romance with Sebastian. But how could she choose between Trevelan’s and Sebastian’s lives? She would never even consider asking Sebastian to help her rescue Trevelan if he weren’t so intent upon returning to Halcyon to help his people.

She still couldn’t quite understand why he would risk everything, give up the safety and knowledge he’d find in Halcyon, to try and save the same people who’d feared and whispered about him for years.

She feared she’d caused this somehow. Her intrusion into the well-ordered austerity of his life had shattered the shields he’d put up to keep the world at bay. By letting her in, he’d opened himself up to the plights of those around him, and now he didn’t seem to be able to ignore anyone in need.

Preferable by far to believe in his intrinsic goodness, instead of the other logical explanation — that he just didn’t want to remain in Halcyon with her. She’d given him no real choice in the matter, after all. Though certain he cared for her, she didn’t know if he felt as strongly as she did.

Either way, it seemed she was going to lose him, and the thought of living without him broke her heart.

Sebastian drifted around Rhoswen’s apartment, still a bit unsteady on his feet but determined to see everything. He wanted to know her world inside and out, commit it to memory so he could take each piece out and examine it later.

Her suite of rooms shared a building with many others, yet boasted both a private entrance and a small outdoor area that overlooked the green expanse of the small forest, which he now knew as a recreational park. Though smaller than any one level of his tower at Hawkesmere, the space was much better utilized.

Upon entering, he found himself in a spacious living area. The azure walls boasted lovely seascapes in white frames, and the overstuffed furniture looked casual and comfortable.

A small kitchen area with amazing cooking and cooling capabilities opened off the living area. He promised himself to explore the incredible technology later and kept looking, intent upon finding the rain box that haunted his dreams.

Rhoswen spoke to Kaylee as he prowled her domain, shooting him an occasional amused glance as Kaylee rattled off myriad instructions about his care. Though his meeting with Oberon had sapped his strength, he still felt amazingly well, considering how close he had been to death just a few days ago.

Oberon had grudgingly allowed him to spend the rest of the day with Rhoswen before he attempted his dangerous rescue of Trevelan. He planned to make the most of every minute.

Though she might not love him the way he loved her, he had managed to convince himself once again that she at least cared for him a bit. Her enthusiastic welcome when he and Kaylee had arrived at her door had done much to soothe his bruised heart.

He entered a small hallway, which led to a sleeping chamber with a large, soft-looking bed. He still was not sure what they made their mattresses of — one of the thousand questions he had been accumulating since he had arrived — but the bed in sick bay had conformed to his body like a cloud, softer than anything he had ever imagined.

The last unopened doorway yielded success.

The room was not large, but contained all manner of wonders. He had already been introduced to the amazing toilets in sick bay, but he flushed this one anyway, amazed as ever by the swift replacement of the old water with new.

There was a porcelain wash bowl against the wall, where one could shave or brush one’s teeth with the assortment of pastes and gels that lined the shelves beneath the crystal clear mirror.

But ‘twas the rain box that captured his complete attention. The glass and marble chamber, easily big enough for two, was exactly like the one he had seen in the dream he had shared with Rhoswen. A tremor of desire wracked him as he thought of making love to her here.

Just one more time before he left…

“You found it, huh?” Rhoswen came up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her face against his back. A soft laugh shivered through her slim frame. “I wondered if that dream had affected you as much as it did me.”

He smiled and willed away the pain of his imminent departure. “I do not think I have had a dream since that did not include it. I had no idea if ‘twas real or not, but my imagination certainly did not care.”

“Well, I have made something for lunch. While we eat you can tell me how your meeting with my father went, and then later we can see if reality is as wonderful as your imagination.”

A bit disappointed over being made to wait, he followed her back toward the living area of her home. But as his blood cooled he realized ‘twas for the best. He needed to sit down, rest and eat something. At the moment he was feeling a bit light-headed.

Besides, he needed to ask her some questions about her and Trevelan being chosen mates before he even thought about making love to her again. The last of his arousal faded in an icy rush as he sank down in the comfortable chair she indicated beside the glass dining table.

Jesu Christ, his common sense utterly disappeared every time he saw her.

For a man who had spent most of the last decade celibate, he had allowed his passions to dictate nearly every move he had made since he met her.

He wished he had been born here, and Rhoswen was
his
chosen mate. He could see himself spending his days in some amazing laboratory, stretching his mind to the limits in search of answers, then coming home to eat dinner with this beautiful woman. He would make love to her in the shower and then hold her in his arms all through the night in that clean, wonderful bed.

But it seemed he would have to content himself with this single night. A house that was not his, a life that was not his and most of all, a woman who was not his.

“So what did my father say to you?” She covered her hands with two padded cloth gloves, opened what appeared to be a very sophisticated oven, and withdrew a serving container filled with some flavorful smelling dish.

Sebastian frowned. “He delved my mind. But it was not like when you did it. He only invaded my thoughts for a moment, but the pain was intense. After that, his entire demeanor changed. He seemed to warm toward me and said I was not anything he thought I was going to be.”

She bit her lip as she took a couple of dishes and some silverware from a cupboard. “I’m sorry if he hurt you. I know you’ll find it hard to believe, but I don’t think either one of us has ever delved a mind without permission before. It just isn’t done, because it’s a horrible invasion of privacy. But with you, we were both pushed into situations where we felt we had no other choice.”

He understood what she meant, but that did not make it any easier to forgive the brutal assault he had experienced at her father’s hands. In any event, he cared far more about what her father had told him. “He explained that Trevelan was your chosen mate.”

She set a plate down in front of him, her hand trembling so much she almost spilled the food in his lap. “He did?” She sounded surprised, but did not deny his accusation.

“I asked you about your relationship with Trevelan,” he reminded her, his voice brittle with betrayal. “I never would have made love to you if I had known. You assured me the two of you were just friends.”

She sank into the seat across from him, refusing to meet his gaze. “We are friends. And I don’t think you understand what it means to be chosen mates here. It’s nothing like the marriages of your people.”

“Then tell me what it is like,” he demanded. “I deserve to know that, I think, after everything we have been through together.”

She sighed. “It’s all to do with procreation. Our numbers are so few, so regulated. Certain bloodlines have to be mixed, so we do not become too inbred. We don’t have sex in order to procreate; the man’s seed is artificially inserted into a woman in a lab, the sex of the baby predetermined. In some instances, the man and woman who are chosen to be the parents of a child create a deeper bond, but often, as is the case with my parents, they do not even live together. The children are raised in dormitories by women who are suited to show maternal love, then educated for whatever position they will assume upon reaching adulthood.” She attempted a weak smile. “Your arrival has the geneticists very excited. I heard one of them say they want a sample or two from you, to add some fresh bloodlines."

He gave her an incredulous glance, shocked and hurt by her obvious acceptance of something he found morally repugnant. "You expect me to father children like a stud horse? What about you? What about us? I think we would have beautiful children together."

For a moment, her eyes softened, but then she banked the emotion, once again the cold, Halcyon princess. "That would be lovely, but it's impossible. You know Trevelan has already been chosen to father my child. When the current Owain dies, Trevelan and I will bear a new one."

"I do not see how he can father your child if he is dead." Sebastian knew he was being cruel, but he hated the thought of her having another man's child. It didn’t matter if the man wasn’t even in the room when it happened — a concept which still seemed ridiculous and inhuman to him.

She caught her breath and turned away, refusing to meet his gaze. "There are samples of his sperm in the lab." Her voice turned positively frigid. "I must do my duty. I can’t allow my people to suffer for my own selfishness."