Half Black Soul (5 page)

When this happens, you have two choices; you can give in to your darkest inclinations, and accept what you are, or you can fight, knowing that it is a losing battle, that the good half of your soul is strong, but can never erase the bad part. This is a battle I know well, but in that moment, as I stood in some insignificant rest stop parking lot, drenched with rain from head to toe, I came very close to giving up. I came very close to ending my fight. Even now, I shudder to think what would have become of me if he hadn’t shown up.

But, like a perfectly wrapped gift from God, 
Kayden
 was there. From this distance, the wonderful feeling his presence always brings to me was just a small tingling in my chest, but 
feeling
 anything at all was so beautiful in that moment that my eyes instantly began to burn with unshed tears.

And, my monster, who just a few seconds ago had smirked at me in the restroom mirror, roared out in my head with frustration. It knew what Kayden’s presence meant. It knew that with Kayden near me, I stood a good chance of gaining control again. Its anger was so intense at that thought that it literally began to burn me from the inside out. When the impulse to run in the opposite direction slammed through me, I realized that my monster wasn’t going to give up that easily. It wanted to get away from Kayden; from my Libra. It wasn’t ready to give back control.

And that is the only way I can describe what drove me to do what I did next.

My monster was urging me the other way; away from the beacon, the anchor, that stood fifty feet from me. So, with every bit of strength I possessed, I charged toward my only hope at the moment. I charged toward the 
feeling
; toward the only person in the world who could possibly give me back myself. I ran to Kayden, and everything that his being promised to bring home to me.

I don’t think I’ve ever covered any distance so fast in my entire life. I didn’t feel the rain. I didn’t hear my feet pounding the wet pavement, spraying up settled water all around me. I didn’t care that I’d left this morning vowing not to depend on him. I didn’t care that I probably looked like a mad woman running from some fairytale beast. I didn’t even care that I had a boyfriend that I loved, waiting for me back at Two Rivers. I didn’t care about anything but reaching him, and in doing so, reaching 
myself
.

I bet that if anyone had been watching, which couldn’t have made a difference to me, they may very well have thought I’d teleported from outside the door to the women’s restroom to the spot where Kayden waited. That’s how fast I moved. One second, I was falling off the edge of insanity, and the next, I was right in front of him.

His strong arms were already open, waiting for me, and I threw myself into them. Actually, I’m sure it was more like 
slammed 
into him, but he didn’t even wobble with the force. Instead, he lifted me off of my feet in a bear hug tight embrace. He was just as soaked as I was, and I didn’t stop to wonder how long he must have been standing out here in the rain. When he set me back down, I pulled back from him, and took only the smallest of moments to admire his beauty. It was all I could afford.

His sandy blond hair was pulled back into a short, dripping ponytail. Rain ran down his cheeks and fell from his chin and lashes and nose, and onto his lips. His shirt was pasted to his strong chest, and curved with the muscles in his abdomen and arms. He stood next to a black and chrome motorcycle, towering over it in a way that was more than just his height, in jeans and a simple black t-shirt. But it was the look in his golden eyes, so full of relief and worry, that made my heart pound in my chest. He seemed to me to have a soft glowing light all around him, like an angel; an angel tailored especially for me. Just looking at him, I felt my true self pulling closer and closer.

But, I knew this wasn’t enough. I wasn’t nearly 
healed
 yet. Just touching him and seeing him wouldn’t do the trick this time. I was too far gone. Later, I would insist that I’d done what I did next to save my soul. Later, I would deny anything romantic about it. Right then, I did the only thing I could think of. I reached around to the back of his neck, and pulled him into the most desperate kiss in the history of all kisses.

Magnificent, beautiful emotion exploded in me when our lips touched, and I was surprised when I felt my desperateness matched by his. His strong arms wrapped around me so tightly that it may have been painful if not for the circumstances. And, everything, all of me, all of the things that made me who I am, came slamming back into me with so much force that I felt as though the rain falling over me was sizzling off my skin.

 I’m not sure how long it lasted, but I was keenly aware of how soft his lips felt against mine; how 
right
. And I didn’t let him go until I felt my monster settle back down inside of me, defeated, and yielding to the embrace of my Libra; 
my Kayden.

But, when I tried to pull back, Kayden didn’t let me. His hands found my face and kept my lips where they were, pressed perfectly against his. I didn’t resist, for whatever reason, right then, he seemed to need me just as much as I needed him.

When the fire finally eased between us, we lingered there, in each other’s arms, and for the first time all day I was grateful for the rain, because a tear somehow escaped my eye, and flowed down my already wet cheek.

I knew that he didn’t know I’d cried, but his rough thumb on my cheek traced across the skin under my right eye, as if brushing away the indistinguishable tear. A shudder ran through me, and he wrapped his arms around me again in a protective embrace.

Finally, we broke for air, but Kayden still didn’t let me go. He bent his head down and rested his forehead against my own. I squeezed my eyes shut, and heard him sigh. Then, in that soft Scottish accent of his, so very close to my lips, he whispered, “Oh, Warrior.”

That’s when my right mind prevailed, and in regaining myself, I snapped back from this Kayden-wonder-world. In control again at last, I turned on my heel, and made my way over to Tommy’s Mercedes. But, I didn’t put the car in drive until Kayden opened the passenger door, and took his place beside me.

Nelly

I only sweat when I get really, really nervous. So, right now, as this uptight warrior led me across the grounds to the Council building, to where the Queen was waiting for me, I was producing a very unladylike amount of perspiration. I’d already thought up the lie that Alexa, ever so helpfully, had said to come up with regarding her absence, and even though it was a weak one, it was all I had. So, now I just needed to calm my mind so that I didn’t royally mess this up. Worrying would only make things worse.

I had done a tiny Search on the warrior that walked ahead of me, but it had proved unfruitful. He didn’t know why the Queen had requested me. He was simply following orders. But, I did pick up a few other interesting things from his head before I’d pulled back out of it.

His name was Simon. He had just recently been promoted to the position of the Queen’s messenger, and his soul was practically glowing with pride over it. At nineteen, he was now the youngest warrior on the Queen’s staff, and he intended to fulfill his duties with all the loyalty of a well-trained dog. He’d risen to the position underhandedly, but I couldn’t really blame him because he’d been raised that way. But, these things were just side notes. The thoughts and feelings about the warrior that he had replaced were what interested me.

Mark. The name made bells of recognition sound off in my head, but it took me a minute to pinpoint how I knew it. Then it came to me. Mark was the warrior that had last fought in the arena against Kayden. He’d lost very badly, and the sight of this had sent Alexa running from the Arena to check on Mark when they’d carried him out. He’d surrendered before Kayden could deliver the final blow, and that is something that’s highly looked down upon at Two Rivers, so most warriors fight to the death. More importantly, Mark had been Alexa’s friend. This meant he was someone that I might need to speak to, and yes, to Search. I marked the information down in my head to return to later. I had to focus fully on the task at hand first.

The walk from the school buildings to the Council building was not a long one. Two Rivers was a large city, but it was built for easy foot travel. Perfectly paved pathways led off in every direction, with slow-speed roadways running parallel to them. But most people seemed to prefer walking, and it was easy to see why.

All of the architecture was unique and beautiful in its own way. Some of the buildings had mosaic facades, with mismatched, colorful pieces that came together to make a highly aesthetic whole. Others appeared older, but in a way that seemed classy and almost planned. They were made of polished stones, lacquered wood, earth-toned clays, and rainbow siding. Around each one were beds of the brightest flowers I’d ever seen, manicured grass, fountains, and statues of people I had to assume were of some sort of significance. The lampposts that lined the walkways and road were stout and green, and at night, or on a dark day like today, smaller multi-colored lights that were set into the ground illuminated everything.

Of course, the trees on the grounds were beautiful as well, but something about them just struck me as odd. This was the middle of the Pine Barrens, so blooming cherry blossoms and old weeping willows seemed incredibly out of place here. Well, actually, now that I thought about it, it all seemed out of place; the whole city. The tall pines and part marshland that we’d had to trek through to find the city, and surrounding it in all directions was the thing that drove this strangeness home. I never went into those trees; beyond the city limits of Two Rivers, and into the real forest. It kind of freaked me out. I knew Alexa had gone into them, though. And now she was gone.

As I was thinking all this, we were already heading down walkway that led to the steps of the Council building. Straight ahead of me was the building itself, by far the most impressive structure I’d seen at Two Rivers. It was enormous, with large silver doors, wide stone steps lined with robed statues that were almost as tall as the building itself, and green, lush lawn all around it. A huge mural of a silver sun, identical to the one on Alexa’s shoulder, was set into the face of the building, just above the generous silver entryway. White roses bloomed all around it, filling the air with floral. In the bright sun, I knew that the various surfaces that were silver would reflect in a nearly blinding manner from certain angles, giving the Council building a kind of heavenly glow.

But today it was raining.

As Simon led me up the steps to the large silver doors, I pushed all thoughts away and concentrated on nothing other than not freaking out. I could do this. Yes, the Queen was a strong Searcher, but I was stronger than anyone I’d met. I would tell her my planned lie, and if I felt her try to “check” and see if I was telling the truth, I would stop her. I wasn’t in complete control of most of my abilities, but I could manage that. No one has ever been able to get past my walls.

Still, I hoped she didn't try to Search me. If she did, I would have to pretend that I had no idea. Maybe she would just think that I had a particularly strong mind. What else would she think? Certainly not that I was half Lamia.

We were in the foyer now, and the inside of the building matched the out. White roses sat in silver vases on silver tables along the walls. Two ivory staircases curved up either side of the room and ended in a joined landing. Silver framed pictures hung on the walls and the glass ceiling overhead let in the weak light of the day. A crystal chandelier hung from the center of it, somehow defying gravity with its size. The only thing in the room that wasn't white or silver was the blood red runner rug that rested over the marble under our feet.

Simon led me over to the side of the foyer, where a large, and of course, silver door was set into the wall. Another warrior stood outside of it, studying me intently as we approached. Simon gave him a nod, and he resumed his straight-ahead stare.

You may go in, Miss Montgomery, Simon told me, and I noticed then that his voice had a slight nasally sound to it that matched the thoughts in his head.

Thanks, S- .

I stopped. If this were a movie, my slip up might have been comical or mysterious. But in real life, it would have been just plain stupid. I needed to get it together.

I pretended to cough a little, and then repeated, Thanks, sir. I probably sounded like an idiot, but at least it wasn't a stupid idiot. Simon just raised his eyebrows and nodded politely toward the room in which the Queen was surely waiting. I grabbed the knob and pushed it open, stepping inside and shutting the door behind me. My stomach seemed to shrivel a little when it clicked into place.

I turned around and surveyed the room in which I stood. I could sense that the Queen was sitting somewhere to my left, but like with everything else in Two Rivers, the room was gorgeous enough to warrant an appreciative once-over.

The entire west wall, from floor to ceiling, was windows, looking out onto a bright garden. There were more flowers in the room, but not just white roses. There were lilies, like the ones that had appeared on my sister's arm after she killed the Lamias the night that they killed our Mother. Another silver sun, like the one on the building, and also on Alexa's arm, hung above a beautifully crafted desk against the far wall. In the near center of the room, to my slight left, was a sitting area, with a plush couch, two equally plush chairs, and matching coffee and end tables. This was where the Queen waited.