Harbor (9781101565681) (34 page)

“And at each stroke of the gong you shovel,” said Joe. “You do this till you forget your name. Every time the boat pitches, the floor heaves you forward, the fire spurts at you out of the doors and the gong keeps on like a sledge-hammer coming down on top of your mind. And all you think of is your bunk and the time when you're to tumble in.”

From the stokers' quarters presently there came a burst of singing.

“Now let's go back,” he ended, “and see how they're getting ready for this.”

As we crawled back the noise increased, and it swelled to a roar as we entered. The place was pandemonium now. Those groups I had noticed around the bags had been getting out the liquor, and now at eight o'clock in the morning half the crew were already well soused. Some moved restlessly about. One huge bull of a creature with large, limpid, shining eyes stopped suddenly with a puzzled stare, then leaned back on a bunk and laughed uproariously. From there he lurched over the shoulder of a thin, wiry, sober man who, sitting on the edge of a bunk, was slowly spelling out the words of a newspaper aeroplane story. The big man laughed again and spit, and the thin man jumped half up and snarled.

Louder rose the singing. Half the crew was crowded close around a little red-faced cockney. He was the modern “chanty man.” With sweat pouring down his cheeks and the muscles of his neck drawn taut, he was jerking out verse after verse about women. He sang to an old “chanty” tune, one that I remembered well. But he was not singing out under the stars, he was screaming at steel walls down here in the bottom of the ship. And although he kept speeding up his song the crowd were too drunk to wait for the chorus, their voices kept tumbling in over his, and soon it was only a frenzy of sound, a roar with yells rising out of it. The singers kept pounding each other's backs or waving bottles over their heads. Two bottles smashed together and brought a still higher burst of glee.

“I'm tired!” Joe shouted. “Let's get out!”

I caught a glimpse of his strained, frowning face. Again it came over me in a flash, the years he had spent in holes like this, in this hideous, rotten world of his, while I had lived joyously in mine. And as though he had read the thought in my disturbed and troubled eyes,

“Let's go up where
you
belong,” he said.

I followed him up and away from his friends. As we climbed ladder after ladder, fainter and fainter on our ears rose that yelling from below. Suddenly we came out on deck and slammed an iron door behind us.

And I was where I belonged. I was in dazzling sunshine and keen frosty Autumn air. I was among gay throngs of people. Dainty women brushed me by. I felt the softness of their furs, I breathed the fragrant scent of them and of the flowers that they wore, I saw their fresh immaculate clothes, I heard the joyous tumult of their talking and their laughing to the regular crash of the band—all the life of the ship I had known so well.

And I walked through it all as though in a dream. On the dock I watched it spellbound—until with handkerchiefs waving and voices calling down good-bys, that throng of happy travelers moved slowly out into midstream.

And I knew that deep below all this, down in the bottom of the ship, the stokers were still singing.

That same day I had an appointment to lunch with the owner of rich hotels whose story I was writing. And the interview dragged. For the America he knew was like what I'd seen on the upper decks of the ship that had sailed a few hours before. And I could not get back my old zest for it all, I kept thinking of what I had seen underneath. The faces of individual stokers, some fiery red, some sodden gray, kept bobbing up in my memory. Angrily trying to keep them down, I went on with my questions. But I caught the hotel millionaire throwing curious looks at me now and then.

I went home worried and depressed and shut myself up in my workroom. This business had to be thought out. It wasn't only stokers; it was something deep, world-wide. I had come up against the slums. What had I to do with it all?

I was in my room all afternoon. I heard “the Indian” at my door, but I sat still and silent, and presently he went away.

Late in the twilight Eleanore came. How beautiful she was to-night. She was wearing a soft gown of silk, blue with something white at her throat and a brooch that I had given her. As she bent over my shoulder I felt her clean, fresh loveliness.

“Don't you want to tell me, love, just what it was he showed you?”

“I'd rather not, my dear one, it was something so terribly ugly,” I said.

“I don't like being so far away from you, dear. Please tell me. Suppose you begin at the start.”

It took a long time, for she would let me keep nothing back.

“I wouldn't have thought it could hit me so hard,” I said at the end.

“I'm not surprised,” said Eleanore.

“I can't be simply angry at Joe,” I went on. “He's so intensely and gauntly sincere. It isn't just talk with him, you see, as it is with Sue's parlor radical friends. Think of the life he's been leading, think of it compared to mine. Joe and I were mighty close once”—I broke off and got up restlessly. “I hate to think of him,” I said.

“It's funny,” said Eleanore quietly. “I knew this was coming sooner or later. Ever since we've been married I've known that Joe Kramer still means more to you than any man you've ever met.”

“He doesn't,” I said sharply. “Where on earth did you get that idea?”

“From you, my love,” she answered. “You can't dream how often you've spoken about him.”

“I didn't know I had!” It is most disquieting at times, the things Eleanore tells me about myself.

“I know you don't,” she continued, “you do it so unconsciously. That's why I'm so sure he has a real place in the deep unconscious part of you. He worries you. He gets you to think you've no right to be happy!” There was a bitterness in her voice that I had never heard before. “I believe in helping people—of course—whenever I get a chance,” she said. “But I don't believe in this—I hate it! It's simply an insane attempt to pull every good thing down! It's too awful even to think of!”

“We're not going to,” I told her. “I'm sorry for Joe and I wish I could help him out of his hole. But I can't—it's too infernally deep. He won't listen to any talk from me—and as long as he won't I'll leave him alone. It's hideous enough—God knows. But if I ever tackle poverty and labor and that sort of thing it'll be along quite different lines.”

The door-bell rang.

“Oh Billy,” she said, “I forgot to tell you. Father's coming to dinner to-night.” I looked at her a moment:

“Did you ask him here on my account?” Eleanore smiled frankly.

“Yes—I thought I might need him,” she said.

I did not talk to her father of Joe—his plans for a strike were his secret, not mine. But with Eleanore pushing me on, I described the hell I had seen in the stokehole.

“You're right, it's hell,” her father agreed. “But in time we'll do away with it.”

“I knew it,” Eleanore put in.

“How?” I asked.

“By using oil instead of coal. Or if we can't get oil cheap enough by automatic stokers—machines to do the work of men.”

I thought hard and fast for a moment, and suddenly I realized that I had never given any real thought to matters of this kind before.

“Then what will become of the stokers?” I asked him.

“One thing at a time.” I caught Dillon keenly watching me over his cigar. “Don't give up your faith in efficiency, Bill. If they'll only give us time enough we'll be able to do so much for men.”

There was something so big and sincere in his voice and in his clear and kindly eyes.

“I'm sure you will,” I answered. “If you don't, there's nobody else who can.”

In a week or two, by grinding steadily on at my work and by a few more quiet talks with Eleanore and her father, I could feel myself safely back on my ground.

 

But one morning Sue broke in on me.

“I've just heard from a friend of Joe Kramer's,” she said, “that he is dangerously ill. And there's no one to look after him. Hadn't you better go yourself?”

“Of course,” I assented gruffly. “I'll go down at once.”

It seemed as though the Fates and Sue were in league to keep Joe in my life.

I went to Joe's office and found the address of the room where he slept. It was over a German saloon close by. It was a large, low-ceilinged room, bare and cheaply furnished, with dirty curtains at the windows, dirty collars and shirts on the floor. It was cold. In the high old-fashioned fireplace the coal fire had gone out. Joe was lying dressed on the bed. He jumped up as I entered and came to me with his face flushed and his eyes dilated. He gripped my hand.

“Why, hello, Kid,” he cried. “Glad to see you!” And then with a quick drop of his voice: “Hold on, we mustn't talk so loud, we've got to be quiet here, you know.” He turned away from me restlessly. “I've been hunting for hours for that damn book. Their cataloguing system here is rotten, Kid, it's rotten!” As he spoke he was slowly feeling his way along the dirty white wall of his room. “They've cheated us, Bill, I'm on to 'em now! That's what college is really for these days, to hide the books we ought to read!”

It came over me suddenly that Joe was back in college, on one of those library evenings of ours. I felt a tightening at my throat.

“Say, Joe.” I drew him toward the bed. “The chapel bell has just struck ten. Time for beer and pretzels.”

“Fine business! Gee, but I've got a thirst! But where's the door? God damn it all—I can't find anything tonight!” He laughed unsteadily.

“Right over here,” I answered. “Steady, old man——”

And so I got him to his bed. He fell down on it breathing hard and I brought him a drink of water. He began to shiver violently. I covered him up with dirty blankets, went down to the barroom and telephoned to Eleanore. Too deeply disturbed to think very clearly, acting on an impulse, I told her of Joe's condition and asked if I might bring him home.

“Why of course,” came the answer, a little sharp. “Wait a moment. Let me think.” There was a pause, and then she added quietly, “Go back to his room and keep him in bed. I'll see that an ambulance comes right down.”

Within an hour after that Joe was installed in our guest room with a trained nurse to attend to him. The doctor pronounced it typhoid and he was with us for nine weeks.

 

The effect upon our lives was sharp. In our small crowded apartment all entertaining was suddenly stopped, and with the sole exception of Sue no one came to see us. Even our little Indian learned to be quiet as a mouse. Our whole home became intense.

Through the thin wall of my workroom I could hear Joe in his delirium. Now he was busily writing letters, now in a harsh excited voice he was talking to a crowd of men, again he was furiously shoveling coal. All this was incoherent, only mutterings most of the time. But when the voice rose suddenly it was so full of a stern pain, so quivering with revolt against life, and it poured out such a torrent of commonplace minute details that showed this was Joe's daily life and the deepest part of his being—that as I listened at my desk the ghost I thought I had buried deep, that vague guilty feeling over my own happiness, came stealing up in me again. And it was so poignant now, that struggle angrily as I would to plunge again into my work, I found it impossible to describe the life in those rich gay hotels with the zest and the dash I needed to make my story a success.

But it had to be a success, for we needed money badly, the expenses of Joe's sickness were already rolling in. So I did finish it at last and took it to my successful man, who read it with evident disappointment. It was not the glory story that I had led him to expect. My magazine editor said he would use it, but he, too, appeared surprised.

“You weren't up to your usual form,” was his comment. “What's the matter?”

“A sick friend.”

I started another story at once, one I had already planned, about a man who was to build a string of gorgeous opera houses in the leading American cities. This story, too, went slowly. Joe Kramer's voice kept breaking in. From time to time as I struggled on I could feel Eleanore watching me.

“Don't try to hurry it,” she said. “We can always borrow from father, you know—and besides, I'm going to cut our expenses.”

She was as good as her word. She dismissed the nurse, and through the last weeks of delirium and the first of returning consciousness she placed herself in Joe's borderland as the one whose presence he vaguely felt pulling him back into comfort and strength.

“No, don't talk,” I heard her say to him one evening. “I don't want to hear you. All I want is to get you well. That's the only thing you and I have to talk of.”

But having so thrown him off his guard, as his mind grew clearer she began cautiously drawing him out, despite his awakening hostility to this woman who had made me a success. From my room I heard snatches of their talk. She surprised J. K. by the intimate bits of knowledge about him that she had collected both from me and from his own sick ramblings. She had just enough of his point of view to rouse him from his indifference, to annoy him by her mistakes and her refusals to understand. I remember one afternoon when I went in to sit with him, his staring grimly up at my face and saying:

“Bill, that wife of yours is such a born success she scares me. Everything she touches, everything she brings me to drink, everything she does to this bed, is one thundering success. And she won't listen to anything
but
success. Your case is absolutely hopeless.”