Hard As Steel: A Hard Ink/Raven Riders Crossover (1001 Dark Nights) (15 page)

Jess shook and her eyes went blurry, and then the tears fell as a sob ripped up her throat. “Oh, my God,” she said through thick tears. “Oh, my God. Not Jeremy.”

“I know,” Ike said, his voice strained. He pulled her against his chest and wrapped her in his strong arms.

“Ike,” she cried.

He stroked her hair. “So damn sorry.”

And then it occurred to her. “Oh, God.” She pushed back far enough to meet his gaze. “What if Nick loses both of his siblings?” Since he’d come home from the Army, Jess had gotten to know Nick pretty good. He could be stubborn and opinionated and a pain in her ass, mostly playfully, but he was a good guy and a great brother, and she knew that his family meant the world to him.

Ike shook his head. “Don’t think that way. They’re getting treatment. There’s no reason to think they won’t pull through.”

Did Ike really believe that? Jess let her forehead drop against his chest. He was probably right. They should stay positive. But the fear and looming grief were nearly suffocating. “I feel so far away,” she said through more tears.

“I know. I wish we could go to the hospital, but some of the Seneka operatives got away, so the situation’s still red hot.” He settled back against the counter and pulled her to rest against him. He stroked her hair and caught the tears running down her cheek, and just held her as long as she needed him to.

For all the problems between them, there wasn’t another person she would’ve wanted to be with in this moment. Jeremy and Nick were both of their friends and coworkers. Ike knew exactly what she’d feel if either of the Rixey siblings didn’t pull through.

Heaving a shaking breath, Jess pulled away, though she stayed within the comforting ring of Ike’s arms. “Waiting for information is going to kill me.”

He handed her a paper towel from the roll behind him. “That’s the goddamned truth,” he said.

“Thanks.” Jess wiped at her face, but her stupid eyes wouldn’t stop leaking.

“Come with me,” Ike said. He took her hand, stopped at the fridge and grabbed two bottles of water, and then led her out the back door of the kitchen. A huge roofed porch ran the length of the building and overlooked a wide lawn, the rolling mountains, and the blue-green valley beyond.

Under any other circumstances, the view would’ve taken Jess’s breath. But she just couldn’t appreciate it, couldn’t
see
it, not when her friends were fighting for their lives.

Ike pulled two cushioned lounge chairs close together and guided her to one. He took the other, and despite all her fucking resolve, she hated the distance between them. She leaned as far as she could into his chair and rested her head against his arm.

Ike sat up, gently grabbed her, and pulled her into the chair with him. “C’mere,” he said, making room for her. “Is this okay?”

“Yes,” Jess said, fitting her body in next to his so her drawn-up knee rested on his thighs and her head rested on his chest. “What do we do now?” she asked, suspecting the answer and hating it.

Ike sighed and pulled her in tighter against him. “Now we wait.”

Chapter 13

The waiting was killing her. The minutes clicked by so slowly that it seemed like time wasn’t moving at all. Jess lay in Ike’s arms as morning turned into afternoon, and afternoon made the late-day stretch toward evening. Sometimes he dozed off, but she never did. She just stared at the view and silently fought back the yawning pain inside her. How had her world fallen apart so quickly? Again.

Hang on, Jeremy. Don’t you fucking die on me!
If miracles were possible, she willed him to hear her. To fight. To hold on to life and never let it go. Jeremy, with his dirty T-shirt collection and his flirtatiousness and his amazing art. She couldn’t lose him. She just couldn’t.

The thoughts beckoned more tears. Jess tried to stop them, but couldn’t. What was taking so long? Why hadn’t they heard anything else? It couldn’t be a good sign, could it? Her eyes burned, her face ached, her throat was dry and scratchy. The more she tried to hold herself still so she didn’t disturb Ike, the harder she shook.

“Aw, sweet Jess, don’t cry,” Ike said, his voice sounding like he was still half asleep. “I’ve got you. Everything will be okay.” His hand gently rubbed her back.

“You don’t know that,” she said through thick tears. “You can’t know.”

Fingers cupped her chin and lifted her face to meet Ike’s gaze. He stared at her a long moment, his thumb stroking her cheek and catching her tears. His eyes searched hers like he was looking for something. “I do.”

“How?” she said. She hoped he
did
know because she needed some shred of hope to cling to.

Finally, in a very quiet voice he said, “Because we’re together.”

Confusion lanced through her grief, followed quickly by a tendril of hope she wasn’t sure she should reach for. “Ike, what do you—”

His cell phone buzzed an incoming call. Jess gasped and her gaze clashed with Ike’s.

This was it. Moment of truth time. Jess was so scared to hear the news that she could barely stand being inside her own skin.

Ike pressed the phone to his ear. “Dare, what do you have for me?” Pause. “Okay.” Pause. “Okay.” Pause.

Jess. Was. Dying. Literally dying. She searched Ike’s face, hoping something in his expression would give her a clue as to whether the news was bad or good. But she just couldn’t tell. “What’s going on?” she whispered.

“Got it,” Ike said into the phone, grasping her hand and pressing it to his heart. “Keep me posted on that and stay vertical, will ya?” Ike dropped the phone in his lap and exhaled like he’d been holding the weight of the world on his shoulders. “Jeremy and Kat are out of surgery and the doctors are optimistic about them both.”

Jess blinked. It was like her brain couldn’t process the information. And then finally,
finally
, it sank in. “They’re going to be okay?” she rasped.

“That’s what it sounds like,” Ike said, rubbing a hand over his head. “Thank fuck.”

“Oh, my God,” Jess said, sagging against Ike’s chest. “Oh, my God. Thank you.” The tears started again and her shoulders shook. “I don’t…know why…I’m crying now.”

“It’s the adrenaline letdown,” Ike said. “The sheer relief of it.”

“Yeah,” she said. “I don’t know what I would’ve done…”

Ike pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “And now you won’t have to. None of us will.”

The kiss resurrected her memory of what Ike had said before Dare called. That everything would be okay…because she and Ike were together. Jess forced a deep breath, and then another one, and finally managed to bottle up her tears. She pushed herself up so that she could see him. “What did you mean? Before…”

“Just what I said.” Ike slipped his fingers between hers and clasped her hand. “When we’re together, everything makes sense. And when we’re not...” He shook his head. “It’s like everything falls apart.”

Uh, okaaaay. She liked the general sound of those words but had absofreakinglutely no idea what they meant, especially on top of everything else he’d said and done the past few days. “I like being with you, too, Ike. We’ve been friends for years and you’re one of the most important people in my entire life. But—”

“That’s just it,” he said, frowning. “I don’t want to be friends anymore, Jess. I want to be everything to you.” He looked her square in the eyes. For the first time, she saw complete and total openness there. She saw fear. She saw pain. She saw sincerity. And it slayed her to get such a rare peek inside this man. Her heart tripped into a sprint. “I’m not sure that I deserve it. I’m not even sure that I’ll be any good at it. But if you’ll let me, I’d like to try.”

* * * *

Ike’s heart was about to beat the fuck out of his chest. From fear, from hope, from something else, something bigger, something completely overwhelming.

Love.

He loved this woman.

The clarity of his emotions had stolen over him in the quiet stillness of the night, and then they’d hit him like a tidal wave when he’d heard the news about Jeremy, Kat, and Nick. Once he recognized the emotion for what it was, Ike found it hard to understand how he hadn’t realized what the hell had been going on inside him all along.

As he watched her, studying her every reaction, Jess pressed a hand to her forehead. “I…I…” She shook her head. “Are you serious?” she whispered.

Aw, fuck. What an asshole he’d been that she felt she had to ask. Voices echoed out from the kitchen. “Will you take a walk with me?” he asked.

“Uh, okay,” she said, sounding confused.

He didn’t blame her. But he didn’t want an audience for this, either. He helped her stand up and took her hand, then he reached into the kitchen and grabbed a key ring off a hook. Ike guided Jess to a wide trail off the right side of the clubhouse. Within five minutes, they arrived at a row of six white cottages. Back in the heyday of the racetrack, they’d been additional accommodations people could rent out. Now, the club used them to house drivers during races, to help out a club member down on his luck, or to put up someone they were guarding or who otherwise needed their assistance.

Ike walked her to the third cottage and unlocked the door.

“What are these places?” Jess asked as she stepped inside. They were all the same—the main room had a bed and a tiny kitchenette with a small bathroom off to the side.

“The club uses them for different things, but I just wanted the privacy,” he said.

She looked around the room. “It’s surprisingly pretty.”

“All Bunny,” Ike said, following Jess’s gaze. “She remodeled them a few years back. Wanted to make them nice for the people we guard who need to stay here. Apparently this is country chic.”

Jess smiled. “It’s very un-biker-like.”

“Tell me about it.” He stepped up close to her and cupped her face in his hands. “But I don’t want to talk about that. I want to talk about us.”

“Us,” she said. “But what about everything you said? What about—”

Ike kissed her. “I was an asshole and a coward. And I’m really fucking sorry.” He searched her pretty brown eyes. “I never realized how closed off I kept myself until you almost got abducted and we spent this week together. Both of which shoved my feelings right in front of my face and forced me to examine them. I didn’t realize how much I’d been using the excuse of Lana’s death to avoid opening myself up to getting hurt again. I didn’t realize how much I was allowing those wounds to turn me into someone I don’t want to be. And then nearly losing Jeremy on top of it all.” He shook his head and swallowed the knot lodged in his throat. “Life can be lost in an instant. I’ve seen it, and I know you have, too. The idea that I could’ve lost you without you ever knowing…”

“Knowing what?” she whispered.

He took a leap of faith and hoped like hell that she leapt with him. “I love you, Jessica, and I want you in my life. I think I’ve wanted you since the day we met, and every day in between. I convinced myself that I didn’t deserve you and wouldn’t be good for you and that, once you knew about how I’d failed Lana, you wouldn’t want me anyway. And, Jesus, the fact that I’m in this MC is a whole other issue that I—”

Jess grasped the back of his head and pulled him down for a kiss.

Was that a good sign? That had to be a good sign, right? Jesus, he was turning into a pathetic sap again. But it would be worth it if Jess wanted him the way he wanted her.

“Stop talking,” she whispered against his lips.

“Why?” he said, dread snaking into his gut.

“Because if you keep talking then I can’t tell you that I love you, too.”

Warm, healing relief speared through him, her love gently stitching up wounds he’d carried for so long. “Fuck, yes. I’m so damn glad,” he groaned, taking her in his arms and kissing her for everything he was worth. And while the heat was there, that wasn’t all he felt between them. There was something deeper, something closer, something that filled the cold, lonely places inside him. Someone knew all the worst things about him and loved him anyway. Nothing meant more than that. Nothing felt more redemptive than that. “You need to know,” he said, breaking the kiss. “I didn’t mean any of that bullshit I said the other night. Being with you meant everything to me.
Means
everything to me.”

“I know,” she said, fingers stroking over his face. “I didn’t mean what I said either. I’d dreamed of being with you so many times, but I never thought it would happen. I could’ve lived on those memories for the rest of my life if I had to.”

“Well, you don’t have to,” he said, claiming her mouth in another hot kiss. “Not ever.” He walked her back one step, then another, until her legs came up against the bed. “I want you, Jess. And I fucking need you so much. Right now.”

* * * *

Jess couldn’t believe this was happening. She couldn’t believe that her world had gone from nearly imploding to giving her everything she’d ever wanted—all in the space of the same day. “I want you, too,” she said. “And I love you so much.”

“God, Jess,” he rasped as he kissed her neck and slowly peeled off her clothing.

When she sat naked on the edge of the bed, Ike stood in front of her and tugged his shirt over his head. He kicked off his boots and stripped off his jeans. She drank him in with her eyes. His incredible height. The cut of his muscles. The huge black tribal on his arm, a red rose with petals that wilted and turned black on the side of his ribs, and so many other pieces she wanted to explore and ask him about, one by one.

The cock jutting out from his body.

Jess licked her lips. “Come here.” When he stepped within reach, she grasped his hips and sank to her knees, her back against the bottom of the bed.

“Jess,” he whispered, stroking his hand over her braided hair.

She bathed the length of his cock with her tongue and then sucked him in deep.

“Fuck,” he rasped, dark eyes blazing down at her.

God, he was a thrilling mouthful. Heavy on her tongue. Thick in her mouth. Head meeting the back of her throat. Just the way she liked it.

She settled into a rhythm, swallowing as much of him as she could take, then pushing just a little further, and then sucking him hard on a fast withdraw. His groans and cursed words of praise were the sweetest fucking reward and turned her on so much that she reached a hand between her legs.