Hatter (34 page)

A moment later, it appeared, looking every bit like a brown hare.

“Thank you, Haigha. I do hope it wasn’t much of a bother.”

“None at all, my friend. But I am perplexed by the request.”

Resuming the trek, with Cheshire loping at one side and Haigha hopping on the other, Hatta explained. “I do realize I’m mad as a hatter, but a world that is too perfect is a façade that’s difficult to believe. Any world
I
imagined would never have a plain brown hare. It would more likely contain a multi-hued or color-changing hare. And I intend to continue to be the man who saved the kingdom. It just feels so safe.”

“If there’s a more sound argument…”

“…I’ve never heard it,” replied the hare between hops.

“I thank you.” Turning his attention to the left he said, “And I thank you, Cheshire.”

“For nothing, Hatta. I merely told you it would happen. You were the one with the courage and skills to accomplish it. ”

“Yes, I do have a fair number of skills, don’t I? Naming colors, hatting, talking to animals, saving the kingdoms, friending…”

With a smile as wide as the Cheshire Cat’s, Hatta continued to enumerate his vast array of talents as he left rulers and soldiers, kingdoms and Provinces behind.

Epilogue

Chism whittled as he rode under a canopy of half-naked trees, the leaves crunching beneath hooves providing percussion for Ander’s upbeat whistling. Other people talked about the beauty of fall colors. For Chism the sounds and textures were crisp and exceptional.

Both men were clad in blue. The color meant nothing to Chism, but the Sword and Circle embroidered on his chest, however, meant everything.

Squirrels, deer, foxes, toves, and hares scampered away as the pair wound through the forest. This part of Maravilla contained more animals than any other Chism had seen. The Queen of Hearts—Chism refused to think of her as the
Red
Queen—had selected the land for that very reason. She knew the animals pleased Hatta, and that he had a way with them. Located only twenty miles from Palassiren, she set the land aside as a safe haven where Hatta could live undisturbed.

The two kingdoms were still independent, the Provinces ruled by the White Queen Palida and Maravilla ruled by the Queen and King of Hearts, the Reds. In the Kirohz Valley, the factions had created a league of kingdoms. In mockery of the wondrous display of peace at the parlay, the Red Queen suggested the name Wonderland, and the other nobles agreed. Trade and goodwill would pass between the borders as it always had, but each had its own rulers.

The clearing with Hatta’s home finally came into view. Asymmetry usually annoyed Chism, but the house Hatta built was so wonky it couldn’t even be described as uneven. Using the money remaining from his mirrors, Hatta hired carpenters from Palassiren to build it, under his close supervision. The result was a multi-storied home with angles, curves, and balconies and a decidedly impractical look. Hatta was thrilled with it.

As with previous visits, Chism found Hatta at tea at the long table in front of his house. He appeared to be alone. While he was within view, but out of earshot, Ander said under his breath, “I didn’t think it was possible, but his colors are even more outrageous than before.” Hatta had always arrayed himself in a variety of shades which Chism couldn’t distinguish, but Ander’s words were confirmed in fewer solid colors and more checkers, stripes and patterns.

His new hat was checkered, like his old town hat, but there were intricate underlying patterns as well. A small card with the price of the hat was tucked inside a band just above the brim. Ten silvers, six coppers. A ridiculously high price for a hat, yet they sold faster than Hatta could make them.

After Chism and Ander dismounted, Hatta came to stand very close and said, “Greetings, brother.”

Hatta struck hands with Ander who said, “You’re more colorful than ever, Hatta. I swear if a rainbow could mate with a mountainfull of wildflowers, the offspring could pass for your twin.”

“I thank you, Ander,” said Hatta still wearing his full smile. “I call this new hat color farcical. Introductions, then.” Signaling a particular chair pulled back from the table he said, “Ander, this is Cheshire. Cheshire this would be Ander.”

Ander looked at the empty chair and said uncertainly, “It’s wonderful to meet you.”

“Don’t play make believe, Ander,” said Chism. “Cheshire’s real, so don’t talk to him if he’s not there.”

“Open your black eyes and look,” said Ander. “He’s right…. Now where did he get to?”

Ander scanned the area as Cheshire faded into Chism’s view, seated in the chair he had thought empty. The cat’s smile was as grating as ever. “Hello, Cheshire,” said Chism.

“Hello to you,” the cat said, and faded out. Chism heard, “And it’s wonderful to meet you, Ander. Unfortunately I can only turn my color
off
,” he reappeared to Chism’s view, “or
on
,” he disappeared, “but not both at the same time.”

So that’s how I saw the cat in the Kirohz Valley when no one else could,
thought Chism.
The fool cat turned his colors off.

“We should be glad none of us is color
deaf
or we wouldn’t be able to hear you at the same time,” said Hatta. It made no sense, but half of what Hatta said now was just as confusing or more so.

Apologetically, Hatta added, “I’m sorry Haigha isn’t here. Neither of you has still met him. What a pity, but he always seems to march off just before visitors arrive.” His face lit up. “I shall call him the March Hare if he continues to march off. But enough of standing around, let’s sit and have some tea.”

The table, capable of seating a full squadron of Elites, was cluttered with teapots, cups, saucers, sugar dishes, and platters. Before selecting a chair, Chism removed a bulging purse from his pack and tossed it onto the table. He was glad to be free of the heavy burden.

“Targus said the last shipment of hats sold before he even received them. He’s sending a man tomorrow for the next batch, even though you’ll probably only have half of the hats done.” Chism never learned the old man’s real name, but he resembled a wizened Targus, or what Chism had heard of them anyway.

Ignoring the purse, Hatta asked, “I hope the old tailor is well? I’m lucky to have such a reliable friend selling my hats.”

“Indeed,” said Ander. Signaling his uniform, he said, “As you can see, we’re officially Elite and Fellow once again.”

“I’m sure that’s very wonderful for you,” said Hatta, neither meeting their gaze nor looking at the uniforms.

“He’s promised to warn me before he threatens the life of any nobles,” Ander assured him.

But it wasn’t jest; Ander had insisted on the pledge before resuming his post as Fellow. Chism still planned to defend the Circle and the Sword, but now had to advise Ander before doing anything rash. “I’ve actually been promoted to sublieu,” Chism told his brother. “That’s short for sub-lieutenant.”

Hatta peered into his teacup, obviously uncomfortable with talk of soldiering. From the empty chair, the Cheshire Cat said, “What about the new emblem you designed, Hatta?”

“Ah, yes,” said Hatta, unpleasantness forgotten. He unbuttoned his checkered coat. Sewn into the multicolored tunic was a circle to match Chism’s but instead of a sword in the center it featured a toothy, oversized grin.

Cheshire appeared and Chism couldn’t help but notice the resemblance between the smiles. Hatta said, “It’s the Circle and the Smile!” He looked quite proud.

“We each have our weapons, brother,” said Chism.

After a short lull, Hatta said, “First a platter in the sky, then a rock half-concealed. A thin fingernail, then no part revealed.”

Seeing the confused look on Ander’s face, Chism said, “It’s a riddle. He uses them to change the subject when he’s uncomfortable.”

“A riddle, huh?” Ander sat up in his chair and began mumbling to himself.

“Be careful, Ander,” Chism warned. “Sometimes there’s no solution.”

Grinning, as always, Cheshire said, “With enough madness, there’s always a solution.” The irksome creature was much easier to tolerate with his colors on.

“The waning moon!” exclaimed Ander. “A platter, a half rock, a crescent fingernail, then gone.”

“Yes! Wonderful, wonderful,” said Hatta.

Before his brother could pose any more riddles, Chism asked, “Do you ever get bored without any human company, Hatta?”

“Switch chairs!” announced Hatta as he stood and moved halfway around the table. Chism knew the routine, so he stood and moved one chair closer to Hatta.

Following his example, Ander scooted, as did Cheshire, announcing, “For the benefit of those who can’t see me with my colors off, I am now switching chairs.”

“You see, Chism? It’s an entirely new party. Tea?” He picked up a teapot but glanced at it, confused, and gave it a gentle shake. Removing the lid, he tsked and said, “You know that’s not appropriate when we have guests.” With two fingers, Hatta reached into the teapot and removed a small, sleeping mouse. Cheshire licked his sharp teeth as he watched Hatta place the tiny dormouse into the front pocket of his coat.

“Terribly sorry,” said Hatta. “There’s never a shortage of animals. I do so enjoy them.” After a short pause, he added, “Except mules. I’ve never been able to make friends with a mule. I had a bandersnatch friend once, but never a mule.”

“Speaking of pack animals,” said Ander, “the horses I took along when I accompanied the Selvage women made all the difference. They were foolish to attempt the trip with so many wagons.”

“I thank you for helping me save them, Ander. It’s a talent of mine, you know—saving towns and kingdoms.”

“And nobody does it better,” said Ander. “Together we saved dozens from starving. Maybe more.”

“I’m glad you’re well, Hatta,” said Chism, “but we should be back on the road. With our new assignment it may be some time until I visit again.” They were more than brothers and more than friends, but Chism always kept his visits short, only able to deal with the thick madness for short periods.

“Sometime, long time, time after time. Anytime but never.”

“You should know,” said Chism, “the kingdoms are secure as ever. I know you’re not interested in the details of politics, but there hasn’t been any more talk of war.”

Hatta looked as if he had tasted something unpleasant. “Please don’t use such language, Chism.”

Unwilling to leave Hatta with the negative sentiment, Chism said, “Your hats are a symbol of peace. People wear them to show the nobles how they feel about reverting to…a peace-less state.”

“The tailor’s even sending them out to the Provinces,” added Ander. “He could make a lot more coin selling only in Palassiren, but cares more about spreading the message through the kingdoms.”

Hatta was positively beamish.

As they stood, Ander said, “I’ve attended some unusual tea parties, but none to match this one.”

Hatta smiled even more proudly. Without embraces or further goodbyes, Chism and Ander left Hatta with his animals, his hatting, and his blissful madness.

Their assignment would take them to the western border, but Chism insisted on a detour to the south. If he didn’t visit the first person to ever call him friend, he might not have another chance.

Cactus’s claim that a man can never have too many friends was ludicrous. But while he’d never admit it, Chism didn’t mind one or two.

###

Author’s Note

The character Hatta appears as a messenger in Lewis Carroll’s
Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There
. Though he is never referred to as a hatter, his speech and mannerisms strongly resemble the hatter from
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
. Even the name, using British pronunciation, is identical.

Haigha appears alongside Hatta in
Through the Looking Glass
. While he isn’t referred to as Hare, the text states that his name is pronounced to rhyme with ‘mayor’, lending more credibility to the theory that Hatta and Haigha are the same Hatter and Hare from
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.

In the case of the other inhabitants of Wonderland—Chism, Cuora, Markin, Palida, Antion, etc—the author has taken license.

The poem,
My Fancy
, originally appears in Lewis Carroll’s
The Hunting of the Snark
. In
Hatter
, it is attributed to Hatta with changes made to the poem to reflect Hatta’s changing view of Cuora.

Most people believe the March Hare is mad because March is the peak of mating season. Even Alice assumes this is the case and says, “…As this is May it won’t be raving mad – at least not so mad as it was in March.” Carroll never specifies.

Finally, regarding the Hatter. The term “Mad Hatter” does not appear anywhere in Lewis Carroll’s writing. The phrase “Mad as a hatter” predates Carroll and is most likely the basis of the character. It is commonly believed that the Hatter was mad due to mercury used in hat making, but Carroll never clarifies the basis of the Hatter’s madness.