Hawk: (21 page)

Shooter’s phone rang, and he dug it out of his pocket. He frowned at the screen then swiped a button. “ ‘Lo.” He listened intently, his frown ever deepening. Then he looked at Hawk. Hawk set his cards down on the table. “When you say bombed... ” Shooter said, “exactly how drunk is that?”

Shooter made a face. “Yeah, okay. Got it.” He disconnected the call and looked across the table at Hawk. “Tildy is drunk off her ass at Maria’s. And she’s found herself a
real
nice cowboy who’s very interested in teaching her what a reverse cowgirl is.”

Hawk didn’t really hear most of that. He was already up and out of his chair at the mention of Tildy’s name.

“Wait,” Shooter commanded.

Hawk barely slowed.

“Take my keys,” Shooter called out. “Easier to get her home.”

Hawk did turn at that and caught the keys
to Shooter’s truck in midair before storming out the front door. He barely stopped at the red lights between Shooter’s house and Maria’s bar. He swore he must have made it in record time. He parked at the front, slammed the Ford into park and surged out of the truck. He knew Maria wouldn’t let Tildy leave without him, but he still needed to have eyes on her- now.

He yanked open the front door and stalked inside. It was Thursday and slower than the more popular weekends. He zeroed in on Tildy, who had a cowboy rubbing up against her on the danc
e floor. Hawk marched over, fury raging inside him. There would be none of his trademark silently menacing demeanor. He grabbed the cowboy by the back of the neck with his large hand and spun him away from Tildy.

“Hey!” the man shouted, slamming into a table nearby.

Tildy froze and stared at Hawk.

The cowboy righted himself and took a step forward. After seeing that Tildy was more or less okay, Hawk turned and faced down the man, who was now reconsidering his bravado. Hawk drew himself up to his full height and glared down at the other, smaller man. “Don’t,” he growled.

The man looked back and forth between Tildy and Hawk, frowning mostly at her. Hawk followed his gaze, his eyes settling onto a silver band with a huge rock tacked on it. Hawk’s molars ground together so hard they nearly broke.

“Leave,” he said, still looking at Tildy, but it was clear he wasn’t talking to her.

“I’m sorry,” the cowboy spluttered. “I didn’t realize. She didn’t say.” He pushed off the table and headed out the door.

Tildy swayed a little on her feet, clearly too drunk to stand.

Hawk let his anger dissipate a little before he touched her. He reached out and took hold of her hand. “Let’s go.”

Instead of obeying though, Tildy
jerked her hand out of his light hold. She nearly stumbled back from her overreaction. “No!” she snapped.

He advanced on her and took hold of her wrist. “
Let’s go
,” he ordered more firmly.

“I’m busy,” she slurred, trying again
to break his hold but not managing to this time despite her efforts. He wasn’t hurting her, but he could see that he was pissing her off. “Go ‘way,” she told him.

“Hey now,” someone said from behind them.

Hawk turned his head to see an older man getting up from his seat. Hawk shook his head. “Not your concern,” he announced.

“But-”

“Sit down, Virgil.”

Everyone turned to look at Maria, who’d come out from behind the bar. “Her
friend
over there,” Maria declared, jerking her thumb at the cowboy, “has been giving her shots after
I
cut her off. She’s done. She’s going home.”

Virgil made a wise choice and sat back down in his chair.

Hawk turned and headed toward the door. Tildy finally understood that she was coming, whether she liked it or not, so she ought to keep up. She did stumble a bit in her cowboy boots, so Hawk slowed a little for her benefit. He flung the door open and ushered her through it.

The night was a bit cooler, now that summer was on its way out. The breeze ruffled Tildy’s hair as he led her to the truck.

“What do you want?” she snapped.

“What do
you
want, Tildy? Some asshole you just met at a bar? Real smart, honey.”

She tried to get free of him again and grunted in frustration when she couldn’t. “Oh, and so here’s my
friend
. Come to save me, again!”

He stopped at the passenger door and turned to her. “What is this?” he asked quietly. Tildy glared at him but didn’t answer. “Why are you mad at me?” he pressed. She shook her head and tried to look away, but he took hold of her chin and forced her to look at him. “Talk to me,” he ordered. When she still gave him the silent treatment, he let go of her wrist and slid his hand down to hers. He felt the ring on her finger. “So that’s it? You put this on and suddenly you’re like all of them? Like Skylar?”

Surprisingly, she laughed. “Oh, I’m sorry. Were you going to give me yours?”

His jaw twitched, face
glowering because he had no answer to that. “Tildy-”

She apparently didn’t want to hear it. Unable to leave, unwilling to talk, she pressed forward and grabbed him. The boots gave her a few inches in height, and her mouth sealed easily over his. Hawk
, however, was irritated and not in the mood, especially since she was only doing it to distract him.

He leaned back and broke their kiss. “Don’t,” he told her.

“I want to,” she insisted, moving in again. He put his hands on her shoulders and kept her back. “This isn’t-”

“Fuck me,” she whispered in a voice that was heavy with tequila and, he couldn’t deny, desire. She
was
trying to distract him, but she also
wanted
him. It had always been that way between them: halfway to having their clothes off, no matter where they were. But his Angel wouldn’t say it like that, and she wouldn’t do this. She was hurting, and he had caused it- somehow- or wasn’t making it better. This was just as big a sin, he supposed, since she’d come to rely on him to save her when she needed it.

“You-” he began.

“Fuck me, Hawk,” she insisted. “We don’t have to go anywhere,” she offered. “Just here. In your truck. You don’t have to take me anywhere.” She grinned at him. “Just take me here.”

She started to unbutton her blouse, and that’s when Hawk snapped. He pushed her back against the truck suddenly, hopefully not hard enough to hurt her but enough to jar some sense into her.

“Stop!” he said roughly, the combination of the push and his voice making her pause.

He reached into his jeans pocket, dug out the medal that he’d been carrying around with him, and pressed it into her hand. She stared down at it. Hawk leaned in so that his lips brushed her cheek and ended up at her ear. “If you aren’t strong enough to hold onto who you are,” he told her, “then I’ll hold on for you.”

Tildy opened her eyes in the dark, blurry and confused. Maybe she
was
still in the badlands; maybe she’d never get out. Her throat was raw, and her face was wet. Had she been crying, or was it the rain? She tried to push herself up. There was a light and a noise. She turned to see a door opening, illuminating the darkness. She sobbed, her panic breaking as she realized she wasn’t still lost.

“Hey,” Hawk said gently, settling onto the bed next to her. She couldn’t stop herself from grabbing him and holding onto him with everything she had. He brought up his hands
and for a brief second, she thought he would push her away- a thought that only made her cry harder. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her. “You called my name,” he told her.

Tildy licked her dry lips and tried to focus on her surroundings. She was in Hawk’s house, she remembered, in his bed. He’d undressed her and laid her down, but then he’d left her alone.

“I was lost again,” she whispered. “I- I didn’t know where I was. I thought I was... back there.”

“My fault,” he told her. “I should’ve left a light on.”

“I’m sorry,” she told him, for lack of anything better to say. She remembered now how she’d thrown herself at him and how he’d turned her down. She was glad it was dark in the room so he couldn’t see her face turn red from humiliation.

“It’s not your fault, Tildy,” he insisted. He rubbed her back, his hands gliding over the bra he’d left on her. “Does this happen a lot?”

Tildy grimaced. He didn’t need to know how often she ended up back in the canyon, waiting to be rescued. “Sometimes,” she replied, and, to deflect any more questions, she said, “Stay with me.”

Hawk was silent
and she could sense him thinking it over. He didn’t say anything, but he pulled the sheet down and slid under it. His head hit the pillow next to hers, and she curled up next to him, her head on his shoulder. She didn’t think she could actually fall asleep again, but it still felt good to have him there beside her.

She pulled him closer. She wasn’t stupid. She cou
ldn’t force him to do anything- not even to kiss her. All she had to do was convince him. “I need you,” she whispered.

“I’m not going anywhere. You’re safe.”

Hawk didn’t move though, so she lifted the sheet and slid her leg over his hips. “Be with me,” she demanded, as she moved on top of him.

Instead of giving in, he sighed. “Tildy, don’t do this again.”

She shook her head. It wasn’t the same this time. She was clearer now than she had been earlier. She knew this wouldn’t solve anything, but it didn’t stop her from wanting it anyway.

She threaded her hands through his thick, black hair and brushed her lips against his. “We’ll follow your rules,” she coaxed.

He groaned. “We’ve already broken all the rules, Tildy.”

“Not all of them,” she insisted. She’d ridden his bike, and she was in his bed, but they hadn’t broken
all
the rules. “Just tonight,” she promised, and he pulled back just enough to gaze into her eyes, trying to gauge whether or not she meant it.

“Tildy-” he started to argue.

“I don’t want him to have it.”

A silence lingered between them, and, even in the dark, she could see his eyes narrow.

“Is that what you were doing with that asshole tonight? Gonna give it to
him?
”

She bit her lip. Through a haze of booze, it hadn’t sounded nearly as bad. Just get it over with. But the truth was, Tildy didn’t want to just get it over with. She didn’t want Tate to take her virginity; that was true enough. The whole truth was that she wanted Hawk to have it, though saying it aloud might send him from the room.

“I don’t want him to have it,” she repeated more firmly.

“Why did you say yes?” he demanded.

The bitterness flared back up inside her. “Because he asked,” she said just as sharply, which was not exactly the truth.

Hawk actually shrank a tiny bit from her, and she felt guilt flood
ing through her. It was unfair to put it that way. She didn’t need Hawk to propose. She just needed him to say this was
something
, that it could
be
something, but he couldn’t even give her that much.

The moment lingered between them. She thought he would say no, push her off him, and leave her alone in the room. Instead, he cupped her face. “Tonight,” he said adamantly. She nodded, holding her breath.

She was lying. Hell, he probably was too, even if they were both trying to believe it. Tildy did that to him, made him break all his rules. Everything was different with her. He wanted her to be safe, but it wasn’t enough. He had to be the one to
protect
her, not just hear from someone else that she was okay. As much as he hated her tears, he didn’t want anyone else wiping them away. What would happen when he was the cause of them?

God, he didn’t want Tate to have what she wanted to give him. Tate wasn’t man enough to take it. Hawk wasn’t man enough to tell her no either, a fact he was trying hard not to think about. He was always off balance with her, always doing things he knew he shouldn’t. He reached into the nightstand drawer and dug out a condom from the box he used to fill his wallet. He tossed it onto the mattress next to them.

He moved over her and kissed her, slow and lingering, though he knew damn well he wasn’t stopping at just her lips. As she relaxed, he slid his hands underneath her and unfastened her bra. She sucked in a breath, trembling a little, and he realized she may never have let someone see her naked before. He let out a small groan, his cock already raging in his shorts.

He left the bra in place and brushed his lips over hers again. “Shhh, it’s okay,” he told her quietly. He kissed her while his fingertips slid the lacy material down between them, covering her with his own broad chest. He trailed his lips down her jaw line to her bare shoulder. His hair fell down in a curtain onto her chest, blocking her view of him, but he knew she felt it when his mouth found the swell of her breast.

He gently pulled her nipple, already taut and aching, into his mouth. Tildy sighed and arched her back. He stripped the bra away and tossed it aside, his lips never leaving her flesh. She was soft and hard in all the right places for him.

He trailed his tongue between her breasts and down her belly. He stopped at the waistline of her panties and began tugging at them. He slid them down and off and surprised her by nipping her thigh.

“Open for me,” he ordered.

Tildy hesitated, shocked.

Instead of arguing with her about it though, he licked her slowly on her thigh, just below her pussy. She sighed sweetly and soon forgot that she was nervous, allowing her legs to open as her eyes closed. She was lost to the sweep of his tongue. He ran his fingers through her soft hair, just teasing though, not pressing hard. Tildy gasped. He wasn’t sure it was possible to ever get tired of hearing that.

He spread her swollen folds with his hands and gazed at her pink center that was starting to glisten for him. He breathed deeply, taking in her scent, reminding him of that night in the rain. Then he sealed his mouth over her and knew for
certain that she tasted like fresh, clean rain, as well.

Tildy’s hips surged upward, as she struggled with the unfamiliar sensations he was giving her. Once his tongue was firmly nestled at her entrance, he slid his hands underneath her, lifting her up higher.

“Oh!” she cried out and gripped his hair in her hands.

He licked into her, savoring her warm, sweet taste, pausing occasionally to swipe along the clit hidden in her thatch of dark hair. When it finally protruded enough to really get at it, he fastened his mouth over it and suckled the pink bud.

“Hawk!”

Tildy was pushing on the mattress now, attempting to move away. He gripped her ass tightly though, not letting her move.

“Hawk,” she pleaded. “I’m... if... ”

She couldn’t get it out, because she was struggling to catch her breath. But he knew exactly what she meant.

He released her hard nub just long enough to look up at her. “Come for me, Angel. Come in my mouth.”

His tongue darted to her hole again, and he pulled her down onto his face. Tildy’s legs instinctively wrapped around him, and she nearly screamed as she creamed. He set her hips back down on the mattress gently and pulled off his shorts. He reached for the condom, had the wrapper off in seconds, and rolled it on to his raging shaft.

He moved over her, careful not to press his full weight down on her tiny frame. He took advantage of her temporary senselessness to kiss her back into oblivion, trying to keep her from worrying about what was next.

With one hand, he grasped his cock and guided it to her entrance, which was now slick, swollen, and ready for him, as ready as she would ever be at
any rate. He placed the head against her and slowly nudged forward since she still wasn’t quite capable of taking him easily. Once he was in position, he pressed both palms on the mattress, inching in slowly. Tildy’s euphoria started to wear off quickly.

“Oh!” she gasped, but this time it wasn’t from pleasure.

Hawk buried his face in her neck. “I’m sorry, Angel.”

He went as slowly as he c
ould manage. His cock was aching to come, but it didn’t matter. Nothing he wanted mattered. He felt her begin to part for him and he pushed further inside, letting her adjust as best she could. “Put your legs around me,” he told her, and she parted her thighs further, wrapping her legs around his torso. She held onto him tightly, her nails digging into his shoulders. Hawk figured that was only fair, considering the pain he was causing her.

She was so tight. It felt amazing but terrible at the same time, because he could not keep from hurting her. “Just hold on
to me, Angel,” he encouraged as he seated himself fully inside her. He finished quickly and gently pulled out. She was breathing hard, from pain this time, not pleasure. He was sorry for it, but at least he’d been careful with her. He wrapped a tissue around the blood-tinged condom and tossed it into the small wastebasket next to the wall. Then he took her in his arms and smoothed her hair.

“Are you alright?” he asked her in the dark.

He felt her nod against his chest.

“I’m sorry to hurt you.”

She sighed. “It’s okay. It’ll be better next time, right?”

Hawk closed his eyes, cursing himself to all the hells that currently existed. He shouldn’t have done it. He’d known they were lying, especially Tildy with her ripe, ready heart. He didn’t answer for a long moment. Finally he moved away from her to the other side of the bed. “Go to sleep, Tildy,” he finally said. “It’s late.”