Hawkmistress! (56 page)

Orain’s arms swept out and he hugged her close, knocking the bandage loose and bleeding all over her. “Sweetheart, sweetheart,” he whispered, holding her tight and crooning to her like a child, “I did not mean - I could not want you that way, but always I wanted to be your friend … only I felt such a fool-“

She knew she was crying too as she hugged him and kissed his cheek. She found herself in his lap like a child, while he stroked her hair. Orain held out his free hand to Alderic and said, “They brought me news that you had offered to exchange yourself for me, my son - what have I done to deserve that? I have never been a father to you-“

“You gave me life, sir,” said Alderic quietly. “I owe you that, at least, since you have had nothing else from me of love or respect.”

“Perhaps because I have not deserved it,” Orain said, and Caryl came to his knees and hugged Orain too, and Romilly who was still in his lap. Carolin said, finding his voice through thickness in his throat, “You are all here and safe. That is enough. Caryl, I swear I shall be a father to you, and you shall be brought up with my own sons. And I will not kill Lyondri if I can help it. He may leave me no choice, and I cannot now trust his oath or his honor; but if I can, I shall let him live out his life in exile.”

Caryl said shakily, “I know you will do what is honorable, Uncle.”

“And now if you are all done with your love-feast,” said Jandria, waspishly, “I would like to bandage this man up again so he will not be bleeding into our breakfast!”

Orain grinned at her and said, “I’m not hurt as badly as that. The man knew his business as well as any army surgeon. He made it quick, at least. They told me, though-” and suddenly he shuddered, and said, shaking, “You came just in time, Romilly.”

He took her hand in his undamaged one. He said gently, “I cannot marry you, child. It is not in my nature. But if Carolin gives leave, I will betrothe you to my son-” and he looked up at Alderic. “I can already see that he is willing.”

“And nothing would please me better,” said Ruyven, coming to smile at Alderic.

“Then that’s settled,” Orain said, smiling, but Romilly pulled loose in outrage.

“And am I to have nothing to say about this?” she demanded, and her hand went to her ear where the earring had been torn loose. “I am not free of my vows to the Swordswomen until the year has ended. And then-” she grinned a little nervously at Alderic and Ruyven, “I know now that however good my laran, it is still not properly trained, or I could have done better with it. It betrayed me on the battlefield, when Sunstar was killed… I came near to dying with him because I did not know how to keep myself clear. If they will have me-” she looked from Ruyven to Alderic, “I will go to a Tower, and learn what I must do to master my laran so that it will not master me. And then I must make my peace with my father and stepmother. And then-” she smiled now, waveringly, at Alderic, “Then, perhaps, I will know myself well enough to know if I want to marry you - or anyone else, my lord.”

“Spoken like a Swordswoman,” Jandria said approvingly, but Romilly hardly heard, Alderic sighed, then took her hand.

“And when that is done,” he said quietly, “I shall await your decision, Romilly.”

She clasped his fingers, but only for a moment. She was not sure; but she was no longer afraid.

“My lord,” she said to Carolin, “Have I leave to take your kinsman to the tent of the Swordswomen and find him some breeches?” She looked at Caryl, who flushed with embarrassment and said, “Please, Uncle. I - I cannot show myself to the army in a night-gown.”

Carolin laughed and said, “Do as you wish, hawkmistress. You have been faithful to me, and to those I love. And when you have done your duty to your laran and to your parents and to the one who would marry you, I shall expect you to come back to us in Hali.” He turned and took Maura’s hand, saying, “I pledged to you that we would celebrate our Mid-summer-festival in Hali, did I not? And the next moon will see us at Midsummer. If it will please you, Lady - I had thought to make the hawkmistress’s marriage at the same time as her Queen’s. But we can wait for that.” He laughed aloud and said, “I am not so much of a tyrant as that. But one day, Romilly, you will be hawkmistress to the reigning king as you were in exile.”

She bowed and said, “I thank you, sir.” But her mind, ranging ahead, was already seeking the walls of Tramontana Tower.

She rejected her noble life and embraced the freedom only a man could claim. She was Romilly, who spurned humanity for its evils and jealousies and lived among the beasts of hill and forest. There was war in the lands of Darkover, but Romilly wanted none of it. Yet, male-garbed or beast-minded, she was also human. And duty to her own kind pointed her to the ultimate decision…