Hawk's Way (5 page)

Honey jerked away, then looked up to see if Dallas had noticed her reaction. He had. He looked concerned, but Honey wasn't about to
explain the sexually fraught situation to him. Honey grimaced and folded her hands together in her lap. It was going to be a long evening.

Or it might have been if Angel hadn't been there. Honey had always liked Angel and had an affinity with the other woman that she couldn't explain. She did her best throughout the spicy Mexican meal to focus her attention on Angel and ignore Jesse Whitelaw. She wasn't totally successful.

It bothered Honey that Angel never got over her odd behavior around Jesse. Angel never quite relaxed, and her eyes were wary every time she looked at him. In fact, it bothered Honey enough that she mentioned it when she and Angel went upstairs to check on the baby after supper, leaving the men to stack the dishes in the dishwasher.

“You don't seem to like Jesse Whitelaw,” Honey said bluntly.

Angel refused to meet her gaze, focusing instead on the baby sleeping in the crib. “It's not that I don't like him, it's just…”

“Just what? Has Dallas told you something about him? Something I should know?”

“Oh, no!” Angel reassured her. “It's nothing like that. It's just…”

Honey waited while Angel searched for the words to explain her aversion to the drifter.

“When I was much younger, I had a bad experience with some Indians.” What Angel wasn't able to tell Honey was that she had seen the tortured remains of a Comanche raid in 1857. But no one except Dallas knew Angel had traveled through time to reach this century. So Angel was forced to explain how she felt without being able to give specific details.

“Whenever I look at Jesse,” she said, “I see something in those dark eyes of his, something so savage, so feral, it reminds me of that time long ago. He terrifies me.” Angel visibly shivered. “Aren't you afraid of him?”

“Sometimes,” Honey admitted reluctantly. “But not in the way you are.” Honey felt certain Jesse posed no physical threat to her. The wild, savage looks that frightened Angel only served to make Jesse more intriguing to her. “I find him attractive,” she confessed. And that was more frightening than anything else about the drifter that she might have admitted.

Their talking woke the baby, but Honey couldn't be sorry because she had been dying for a chance to hold the little boy.

“Aren't you a handsome boy, Rhett,” Honey cooed as Angel laid the baby in her arms. “Can we take him downstairs?”

Angel seemed hesitant, but Honey urged, “Please?”

“All right.” Angel had to face the fact that her fears of Jesse were misplaced in time. She might as well start now.

Dallas and Jesse stopped talking abruptly when the women came downstairs with the baby.

“Look,” Honey said, holding Rhett so Jesse could see his face. “Isn't he something?”

Jesse wasn't looking at the child, he was looking at the glow on Honey's face. It was something, all right! She looked radiant and happier than he had ever seen her. He couldn't help imagining how she would look holding their child in her arms.

He frowned, wondering where that idea had come from. He wanted Honey, but babies had
a way of tying a man down. Still, he considered the idea and felt things he hadn't anticipated. Pride. Protectiveness. And fear.

Was Honey still young enough to carry a child without any danger to her health? She didn't look over thirty, but he knew she had to be older because Jack was thirteen.

“How old were you when Jack was born?” Jesse asked.

Honey was surprised by the question. “Eighteen. Cale and I married right out of high school.”

That made her thirty-two. Three years younger than he was. Maybe the better question was whether he was too old to be a father. He hadn't realized until just now how much he wanted a child of his own someday. Maybe he'd better not put it off too much longer.

“Do you wish you had more children?” he asked Honey.

She never took her eyes off the baby's face. Jesse watched her fingers smooth over the tiny eyebrows, the plump cheeks, the rosy mouth and then touch the tiny fingertips that gripped her little finger. “Oh, yes,” she breathed.

She looked up at him and his heart leapt to his throat. Her eyes were liquid with feeling. Suddenly he wanted to be gone from here, to be alone with her.

Honey saw the fierce light in Jesse's eyes but knew she had nothing to fear. The fierceness thrilled her. The light drew her in and warmed her. Jesse Whitelaw was a danger to her, all right. But only because he had the power to steal her heart.

Honey was never sure later how they managed to take their leave so quickly, but she was grateful to be on her way home. In the darkness of the pickup cab she could hug her thoughts to herself. It was only after they had gone several miles that she thought to ask, “Did you tell Dallas about that suspicious man I saw on my property today?”

There was only the slightest hesitation before Jesse replied, “Yes. He said he'd look into it.”

“Did you have a good time tonight?”

“I had forgotten how much Dallas and I have in common,” he said.

“Oh?” She hadn't thought the two of them were much alike at all. “Like what?”

Jesse was quiet so long Honey didn't think he was going to answer. At last he said, “I can't think of any one thing. Just a feeling I had.” He couldn't say more to Honey without raising questions that he wasn't prepared to answer.

“How did you like Angel?”

“Fine.”
When she wasn't cringing from me.
He couldn't say that to Honey, either. He wasn't sure what it was about him that frightened Angel Masterson. He only knew she was terrified of him. His lip curled in disgust. She had probably heard stories about the savage Comanche. A hundred years ago his forebears had been savage. Perhaps Angel had been a victim of Comanches in another life.

Jesse shrugged off the uncomfortable feeling he got when he remembered Angel's fear of him. There was something about her that bothered him as much as he bothered her. If he stuck around long enough, maybe someday he would find out what it was.

“Jesse? Is something wrong?”

He hadn't realized he was frowning until Honey spoke. He wiped the expression off his face and said, “No. I'm okay.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Why didn't you tell me you have a family?”

Jesse shrugged. “It didn't seem important.”

Family
not important? Honey shook her head in despair. Everything she learned about Jesse confirmed him as a loner. She had to stay away from him if she wanted to survive his eventual leave-taking heart-whole.

“Now I want to ask a question?” Jesse said.

“What?”

“Why did you marry so young?”

“I was in love.” She paused. “And pregnant.”

That wasn't the answer he had been expecting, but it didn't really surprise him. He could imagine her youthful passion. He had tasted a little of it himself.

“Were you ever sorry?”

How could she answer that? Maybe she regretted losing some of her choices. But she didn't regret having Jack. As for having to marry…

“I met Cale when I was fourteen years old and fell in love with him at first sight,” she said. “I never wanted to be anything but Cale's wife, the mother of his children, and to work by his side on the Flying Diamond.”

Honey had never put her feelings into words, but it made her loss seem even greater when she realized that her whole life had been focused on Cale. Now that Cale was gone, she was forced to admit that they had never had the partnership she had imagined when she married him. Those youthful dreams were gone. The children were only hers to love for a little while before they grew up and left her. All she would have in the end was the Flying Diamond. Except now the Flying Diamond was being threatened as well.

“I wish someone would catch those rustlers,” she said, expressing her fears aloud. “About the only thing that's keeping the ranch afloat with the losses I've had is the service fees I get for General. I sure can't afford to lose any more stock.”

He thought of the devastation she would feel
when the bull was stolen, but pushed it from his mind. “You won't be losing any more cattle,” Jesse said and then could have bitten his tongue.

“How can you be so sure?”

He shrugged. “Just a feeling I have.”

One of those uncomfortable silences fell between them. Honey chewed her lower lip, wondering whether she ought to ask a question that had been on her mind lately. She saw the two-story ranch house come into sight and realized she would lose the opportunity to speak if she didn't do it now.

“Were you ever married?” she asked.

Jesse's brow rose at the personal nature of the question. “No.”

“Why not?”

His dark eyes glittered in the light from the dashboard as he turned to her and said, “Never found the right woman.”

Honey shivered at the intensity of the look he gave her. On a subconscious level she was aware they had arrived at the house, that he had turned off the car engine, and that this time he had parked the truck in the shadows away from the front porch light.

“Honey?”

His voice rasped over her like a rough caress. She felt his need but wasn't sure what to do. She leaned toward him only a fraction of an inch. It was all the invitation he needed.

Jesse's hand threaded into her hair and tugged her closer. Their mouths were a breath apart but he didn't close the distance.

“Honey?”

He was forcing her to make a choice.

Honey drew back abruptly at a loud tapping on the window.

“Hey, Mom! You guys coming inside or what?” Jack shouted through the glass.

Honey closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Oh Lord. She had forgotten about her overprotective teenage son. He hadn't done anything quite this blatant with Adam, but apparently he recognized Jesse as a greater threat. He wasn't far wrong. She didn't understand the strength of her attraction to the hired hand, but she realized now she would be a fool to underestimate it.

She glanced at Jesse to see how he was han
dling the interruption and was surprised to see a smile on his face.

“I'm glad you're finding this so amusing,” she said.

“If what I suspect is true, Jack hasn't allowed you much privacy with Philips. I have to be eternally grateful to him for that.”

“You don't seem too worried that he's going to get in your way.”

Jesse grinned. “Nope.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don't intend to let him.”

Right there, with Jack staring aghast through the window, Jesse took her in his arms and kissed her soundly. Then he reached across her and opened the truck door on her side, gently nudging Jack out of the way.

“Why don't you escort your mom inside, Jack. I've got some things I have to do.”

Honey stepped out of the truck without thinking and stood with Jack as Jesse backed the truck and headed down the road that led off Flying Diamond property.

When the truck was gone, Jack confronted his mother in the faint light from the porch.

“Why'd you let him kiss you, Mom?”

“Jack, I—” Honey didn't know what to say.

“You're not gonna marry him or anything, are you?”

That she could answer more easily. “No, I'm not going to marry him.” He wasn't going to be around long enough for that.

“Then why'd you kiss him?” Jack persisted.

“I like Jesse a lot, Jack. When two adults like each other, kissing is a way of expressing that feeling. When you're a little older, you'll understand.”

“Well, I don't like it,” Jack said. “And I don't like him, either.”

Honey thought of how hard it was for her son to accept another man in Cale's place, and to share his mother, whom he'd had to himself for the past year. “You know, Jack, just because I kissed another man doesn't mean I'll ever love your father any less. Or you and Jonathan, either.”

“Oh, yeah? Well, Dad wouldn't like it.”

“Dad would understand,” Honey said quietly. “He wouldn't want us to stop living be
cause he's not here with us. You're going to keep growing, Jack, and changing. Dad wouldn't have wanted you to stay a little boy. He'd want you to grow into the man you're destined to be.

“And I don't think he would necessarily want me to spend the rest of my life alone, without ever loving another man.”

Jack jumped on the one word that stuck out in all she'd said. “Are you saying you're in
love
with that drifter?”

“No.”
But I could be.