Headed for Trouble (The McKay Family #1) (38 page)

She gaped at him.

He didn’t seem to notice. His gaze had slid down, running all over her and the heat in that look made the day seem cool by comparison. Snatching a towel up, she held it in front of her breasts.

“Okay, yeah. So I sunbathe naked. But that doesn’t explain what you’re doing here.” She glared at him, fumbling the towel into place. It took more effort than it should because her hands were shaking.

“I wanted to talk to you. Heard the music.” He slid his gaze back up to hers and took a step closer.

Hannah backed up.

Brannon cocked his head, studying her. “You didn’t answer.”

“I didn’t hear you.” Folding her arms over her chest, she turned away and moved to the music, hitting the power button.

It went abruptly silent.

Hannah fought the urge to hunch her shoulders. He was staring at her. She could
feel
the heat of his gaze, could
feel
him all but willing her to look at him. Her ice water sat on the towel she’d spread out and she moved back to it, bending over to pick it up.

“You know, if you’re trying to distract me, that’s an excellent way to do it.”

A blush bloomed up her neck, the heat of it scalding her. In what she hoped was a casual move, she took a sip of her water as she turned to face him. The icy water eased her parched throat, but did nothing to cool the flames on her face—or in her belly. It licked at her, adding to the heat already building inside. Heat she’d ignore this time.

She was done with this.

Done hoping, done wishing, done waiting.

He didn’t even realize.

You never told him
.

No.

She hadn’t. Gripping the glass, she focused on his face. “What do you want, Brannon?”

His lashes drooped and the heavy-lidded look on his face brought vivid memories swimming back.

“You’re mad at me,” he said bluntly. “And I think I know why.”

She started to tap her foot, masking the nerves and misery she felt with impatience. When it came to hiding how she felt, Hannah was a pro. She’d learned the value of keeping her true emotions concealed and the lessons had been ugly, painful ones.

A scowl twisted his face. “You were awake.”

She tightened her grip on the glass and propped her other hand on her hip. Hopefully that would keep him from noticing the shaking. “Don’t worry, Brannon. I won’t dirty your doorstep again.”

“I … what?”

“Please.” Unable to keep looking at him, she turned away. “I don’t think you could have sounded any more disgusted if you’d found a dead rat in your underwear drawer.”

Without waiting for a response, she strode toward the door.

When she went to shut it, he slammed a hand against it. “Just hold up there, Hannah.”

She went to shove him back but decided not to bother. She’d never move him and she wasn’t going to give up any more dignity than she had to. “Do you mind? I’d like to shower and get dressed.”

“Don’t let me stop you.” He crowded her up against the wall of the narrow hallway, his big, muscled body blocking out everything else.

She swallowed as he fisted a hand in the towel she’d wrapped around herself. One tug, and it would be gone.

“You’re sort of in the
way,
” she pointed out. “I can’t shower when you’re pinning me up against the wall.”

And I can’t think when you’re so close. Please … just go away.

“Am I in the way?”

She opened her mouth and Brannon braced himself for whatever smart-ass reply she’d come up with. He’d take her anger, because he’d earned it.

But no words came out and Brannon felt something hollow settle in his chest when she closed her eyes and dropped her head back to the wall behind her.

“Would you please leave me alone?” she asked and her voice was soft, trembling.

“I’m sorry.” Brannon pressed his mouth to the corner of hers as he spoke. “I … fuck, Hannah. If you think I was disgusted with
you
, then clearly you weren’t paying attention.”

He unclenched his fist from her towel, resisting the urge to tug it away. Her body … damn, he didn’t know if he’d ever be able to sleep without seeing those powerhouse curves in his dream. And he wanted
more
. Skimming his hand down, he curved it over her hip and held her still as he leaned into her, slowly rolling his hips. “If that’s the case, then pay attention
now
.”

A low, shaky noise escaped her.

“Does this seem like I’m
disgusted
?”

She pushed her hands against his chest and something cold splashed on him.

Looking down, he saw the glass, a wet stain spilling across his chest. He took the glass from her and looked around. There was a narrow alcove with a table and he leaned over, dumped the glass there before focusing back on her.

Harsh breaths escaped her, forcing her breasts up and down and the towel started to slip.

She went to catch it but he got there first and her eyes widened on his as he peeled the towel away, baring the lush, ripe curves. Still watching her, he let the towel fall to the floor before he reached up and skimmed the back of his knuckles across one erect nipple. It drew even tighter and he dipped his head, catching the swollen peak in his mouth.

She whimpered and the sound jolted through him. Once more, she pressed her hands to his chest and he braced himself for her to push him back.

But she fisted her hands in his shirt and arched closer.

Control snapped and he grabbed her, boosting her up and leaning into her, her weight supported by his body and the wall at her back.

“I want you,” he growled against her mouth. “Say you want me.”

Her nails bit into his skin through his shirt. Her sigh, soft and erratic, ghosted across his lips when he lifted his head to stare at her, waiting.

“Want…” She looked almost sad as smiled at him. “I guess that’s one way to phrase it.”

Before he could puzzle through that one, she tugged his mouth back to hers.

Mindless need replaced rational thought and Brannon gave into the driving urge to have her again.

She clutched at his shoulders, her long legs wrapped around his hips as she rocked against him.

He barely remembered fumbling his jeans open, barely remembered shoving them out of the way. They were an obstacle, something that stood between him and her and that was the only importance they had. His cock, exposed to the air, jerked viciously and he shifted her weight, hooking her legs behind the knees with his elbows to open her.

Hot silk, wet as rain, flowered open around him as he found her entrance.

Without thinking about anything but the need to
take,
Brannon surged forward, burying himself inside her.

She cried out and he caught the wavering clamor with his mouth, driving his tongue inside her mouth as he drove his cock into her slick, wet core.

Again, again, again …

She strained against him, twisting and rocking in an effort to take him faster, harder. He answered the unspoken plea with deep, driving strokes.

She came around him, hard and fast, and unable to fight the pleasure, he shattered, erupting inside her with a furious snarl.

*   *   *

Wet trickled down her thighs as he lowered her feet to the ground.

Hannah’s legs wobbled and she clutched at his shoulders, trying to steady herself.

He’d come inside her.

No rubber.

She mentally groaned, even as she thanked the irregular periods that had eventually forced her to start taking the pill. That much, at least, should be okay.

Brannon stroked his hand down her back, easing in closer, his breathing still heavy and fast.

When he went to kiss her again, she averted her face. Then, forcing herself to do what she should have done to begin with, she pushed him away.

He went reluctantly and she ducked out from between him and the wall.

Not bothering to grab the towel, she strode to the minuscule bathroom and grabbed her robe from the hook on the door. As she fumbled her way into it, she heard him coming up behind her.

She freed her hair, staring at the small couch in the little living room of the houseboat. “We didn’t use a rubber.”

Slowly, she turned and stared at him.

He’d tugged his jeans back up, but he hadn’t zipped them or buttoned them and the thickness of his cock pressing against his underwear seemed to belie the past few, furious minutes.

He was still hard.

And she still wanted him, ached inside for him. Not just for the hard thrust of his cock, but for
him
. Everything about him.

“I…” His jaw went tight and he reached up, rubbing his hands up and down his face. “Son of a bitch. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

She looked away. She hadn’t been thinking, either.

“I’m on the pill.” Turning away, she strode into the kitchen. She needed a drink. She
wanted
something strong—whiskey, preferably, the hot burn of it gliding down her throat and easing the edges of the misery. “So that’s not a big concern there. I’m clean.”

She grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge as she waited for him to answer.

“I…” He sighed.

Something cold gripped her and she turned, staring at him. “Brannon?”

“Shit, stop looking so panicked. This is the first time I’ve ever been with anybody without a rubber.” He eyed the water bottle. “Got another one of those?”

Silently, she retrieved a bottle.

As he accepted it, he started to speak. “I can’t say I’ve ever been checked for anything, but I don’t have sex without a condom. Well. At least up until a few minutes ago.”

“Good.” She jerked a shroud of ice around her emotions, pushing past him.

“Would you … son of a bitch. I’ll get checked. But you don’t have to worry.”

She wasn’t
worried
.

She was
tired
. The emotions she’d kept hidden inside had snuck out past her guard and ambushed her, stripping away any and all defenses and at the worst possible time.

“Hannah.”

He came up behind her and she closed her eyes as he curved an arm around her waist. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I just…”

She closed her eyes as he lowered his head to her shoulder. “I’m fine, Brannon,” she lied.

He seemed to hear the falsehood.

“Then what’s wrong? You haven’t … how insane will you think I sound if I tell you I’ve kinda missed seeing you on your balcony?”

“What?” She gave a derisive snort as another crack formed in her heart. “You miss me playing Peeping Tom? Although,
FYI,
you could always just close your damn curtains.”

“Then I wouldn’t see you.” His teeth scraped over her shoulder.

It sent a shiver down her spine. “I find it hard to believe that would bother you much. You go out of your way to avoid me.”

“Because I didn’t want … this.”

She didn’t think he meant to say that. Slowly, she turned and when she looked into his eyes, he averted his. “This,” she echoed.

“I … look, Hannah. I’ve known you too long.” Blood rushed up to stain his cheeks red as he turned his head and met her eyes once more. “In my head, I’ve had you about a hundred ways to Sunday and every time I see you, I want to try at least
one
of those ways out. But I…”

His words trailed off.

Feeling chilled, she pulled away from him. Moving to the small
L
of the counters, she leaned back. “You what?” she asked coolly.

“I’m not looking for any sort of relationship,” he said, voice flat. “Sex is all well and good, but I don’t want anything else. That’s not … I just don’t want it. Especially not now. I’ve got too much going on as it is and somehow, I get the feeling casual sex isn’t really your speed.”

Well. He summed that up pretty nicely, she thought dully. She couldn’t fault him for being honest—or accurate. No. She didn’t do casual sex.

This was what it felt like to have the deepest desires of the heart shattered.

It sucked.

She went to tell him to leave, but that wasn’t what came out of her mouth.

“I’ve been in love with you since I was in high school.”

Brannon’s mouth fell open.

She should have been horrified, but all she felt was
numb
. It spread through her, turning everything inside her icy and cold.

“No, Brannon. Casual sex isn’t my speed.”

“Hannah, I…” He shook his head, looking completely lost.

“You don’t need to say anything.” Nodding her head to the door, she gave up on the dream. “You just need to leave.”

“Hannah, wait…”

“No!” It ripped out of her and she shoved past him, intent on just one thing. Getting the hell away from him. She ducked into her room and slammed the door. Just before it closed, she saw him moving toward her. She flipped the lock and leaned back against it. “Go
away,
Brannon.”

“Hannah, come on.”

“Are you fucking
deaf
? I want you
gone
!” She clapped a hand over her mouth and slid down to the floor, her back still braced against the door. “Just leave…”

*   *   *

Dazed, Brannon sat in the car.

Sweat trickled down his face and it wasn’t until it stung his eyes that he realized he was sitting in the car with the doors and windows closed, the trapped, overheated air turning the small space into a suffocating sauna.

Swearing, he started the car and stabbed at the buttons, sending the windows gliding silently down.

In love with you …

Her words rang inside his head.

It was bullshit, of course. She couldn’t be in love with him.

Still, he felt miserable and hollow, sitting there, parked in front of Hannah’s houseboat while he knew she was inside, hurting.

Had she been crying?

He hadn’t wanted to leave.

No, he didn’t want any kind of relationship, but when she told him she loved him, her voice oddly flat and lacking the familiar sarcastic humor, all he’d wanted to do was hold her.

All she wanted was him gone. She’d made that clear.

Okay. Okay. He’d leave. For now. Leave, think. Let her calm down and then he’d come back.