Healing a Cowboy's Heart (Cowboy Dreamin' 2) (24 page)

He
sighed and let his head fall back against the wall behind him. What to do? What
did he want from Terri?
A friends
with benefits
situation? No. That didn’t seem right either. He loved her. He knew he did, but
could he get past his fear of marriage and a committed relationship to secure
the future with her she wanted?

“Daddy?”
Ben put his hand on his leg. “Did you ask Ms. Terri to be my new momma?”

“No,
Ben, I didn’t.”

“Why
not?
I want her to come live with us.”

“I
want her to live with us too, buddy.”

“Then
why isn’t she here?”

“It’s
complicated.”

“You
love her?”

“Yeah.”

“Then
it’s not
comli
…whatever you said. You just bring her
back here.”

Jeff
laughed. Oh to have the simplicity of life of a three-year-old.
Just bring her back here.
Could he?
Would it be as easy as that?

A
plan began to form in his head. He needed some help from one of his brothers,
but he needed to think about what his future held without her before he planned
a future with her in it. The bleakness without her choked the life from his
heart.

“Let’s
go home, buddy.”

“Okay.”
Ben rushed out toward the front room but stopped short.

“What’s
wrong?”

“The
ghost man is sitting in the chair over there, Daddy.”

Sure
enough, Jeff could see the figure of an older gentleman in cowboy clothes
sitting on the leather couch near the fireplace. He tipped his hat and faded
away. Shivers raced down his back. He’d never get used to seeing the ghosts
around the house no matter how many times he ran into them.

Jeff
took Ben’s hand as they walked through the dining room headed back outside. He
had some thinking to do and some plans to make. Within minutes they were
pulling up to the front of his small cabin. He knew no one waited for him to
come home. The house needed a woman’s touch. Even when he’d been married to
Misha, she’d never done anything to make it a home. The small things counted
like flowers in window boxes, fluffy white curtains blowing in the breeze at
the kitchen window, and a pretty comforter on the bed, even pillow shams would
make it
more homey
. What would Terri do to the place
should he get her to come home with him? Would she want to make it hers like he
hoped or would she turn into a shrew like Misha who didn’t want his home, his
child or his family?

Terri wasn’t like that.

He
opened the door to help Ben out of his car seat and get him down. His son ran
for the front door, pushing it open in a rush. Since they didn’t have anyone to
come home to, the house looked forlorn.

“Bath
time, Ben,” Jeff called to his retreating son.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

Jeff
sighed. Times like this, he wanted someone in his life more than anything,
someone to take over mommy duties so he didn’t have to fight with the kid every
night.

Ben
ran past him, but Jeff grabbed him up in a bear hug and headed for the bathroom
with the wiggling, giggling child in his arms. He got Ben into the bathroom and
stripped off his clothes before he turned on the water. The bathroom looked
like a typical kid’s bathroom with thousands of toys in the tub. The naked kid
tried to dash out the door, but Jeff got it shut with his boot before Ben escaped
in a naked streak down the hall.

As
he plopped the kid in the water, a knock sounded on the door.
Who the hell could that be?

“I’ll
be right there!” He looked at Ben. What the hell to do? He only had two hands
and a wet, wiggling child took precedence over whoever was at the door. No way
would he leave Ben alone in the bathtub.

He
shut the water off, wrapped Ben in a towel and propped him on his hip. This is
just what he needed.

Opening
the door with a sharp snap, he asked, “Yeah?”

The
last person he thought he’d see standing on his doorstep spun around on her
heels.

“Terri?”

“Hi.”
She pressed her lips together. “Can I come in?”

“Uh,
sure.”
He stepped back.

“
Hi
, Ms.
Terri
!”

“
Hiya
, Ben.
Bath
time?”

“No.”

“Yes,”
Jeff said with a laugh. “I was just getting him into the tub.”

“I
can wait until you’re done.” She laid her purse on the end table next to the
couch.

His
gaze slide down her frame, taking in the tank top curving around her breasts as
it clung to every inch of her delicious body.

“Go
take care of your son. I’ll be right here.”

Jeff
disappeared down the hall with the squirming Ben in his arms. Tonight would be
the fastest bath in history of bathing a child, he vowed. He put Ben in the
tub, quickly washed his hair and body before he took the handheld showerhead
down off the wall and rinsed him off. “Okay, Ben, out we go.”

“I
wanna play.”

“Nope.
Not tonight, buddy.
Bedtime for you.”

“But
I wanna play.”

Jeff
sighed. The kid was going to drive him nuts before he reached his fifth
birthday. He had other things to do tonight. Terri was here and he’d be damned
if he let her go again.

* * * *

Terri
smiled at the splashing sounds coming from the bathroom as she waited for Jeff
to finish bathing Ben. She hadn’t really thought this trip through when she’d
gotten into her car to drive back out to the ranch to confront Jeff. She’d come
to some conclusions after he’d given up and walked out of her life earlier in
the day. It hadn’t taken her more than an hour of soul searching to realize
giving him the ultimatum of a marriage proposal or nothing wasn’t right on her
part. The gun-shy guy she loved didn’t do well with choices like that.

What the hell am I gonna do if he
doesn’t want me here?
“Surely if he didn’t, he wouldn’t
have let me in the door.”

She
glanced around the living room realizing she hadn’t had time to check out the
home she hoped to share with the amazing man in the other room. The dark décor
and lack of feminine touches didn’t surprise her. His ex-wife didn’t come
across as a very family oriented woman from what she knew of her, although
granted that wasn’t much. Terri started picturing the little things she’d do to
the house to make it more of a home. Some flowers outside.
Curtains
on the windows.
A nice comforter on the bed.
Toy Story curtains on Ben’s window. It was obvious Jeff didn’t bother with
anything except the bare necessities.

Realizing
the sounds coming from the bathroom had quieted, her stomach knotted in
anticipation. She stood and moved toward the fireplace. She put one elbow up on
the mantle, and took it down.
Then twisted her fingers into a
ball of knotted flesh.
Damn, I’m
nervous
. Her stomach rolled, making her nauseous. It wouldn’t bode well if
she puked up her dinner before she even had a chance to talk to him.

She
exhaled on a sigh to try to calm her stomach. It didn’t work very well. Her
heart thumped against her ribs like a terrified bird in a cage.

The
sound of his boot steps coming down the hall didn’t help her nervousness, but
the time had come to answer some questions.

He
stopped in the doorway and took in her entire body as a small smile played on
those oh-so-kissable lips.
God, is it bad
I want to curl myself around him and stay there forever?

A
nervous wipe of his hands down his thighs gave away his true feelings about her
being there too as he walked into the living room. “Why don’t you have a seat?”

“I
would, but I’m nervous.”

“Why?”
he asked, taking a seat on the couch.

“Because
I didn’t know whether you’d hear me out. I rehearsed this whole long speech on
the way here, but seeing you made every bit of it slip straight out of my
head.”

“Is
that a good thing?”

She
smiled and shrugged, taking a seat on the other side of the couch.
“Maybe.”

The
silence stretched between them for several minutes while she tried to think of
what to say since her speech didn’t mean anything now. “I’m sorry. I guess I
should start with that.”

“Sorry
for what?”

“Pressuring
you.
That wasn’t fair to you. I know how hard it is for
you to trust and we really haven’t known each other very long.” She twisted the
ring on her right hand. It was one her mother gave her on her sixteenth
birthday and she never took it off.

“No,
we haven’t.” He seemed relaxed now as he stretched his arm across the back of
the sofa.

“Are
you sure you love me?” she asked, hoping he hadn’t changed his mind.

“Yeah,
but it’s gonna take some time for me to get to the marriage part. I ain’t
sayin’ I’ll never get there, Terri.”

“I
guess it’s all I’ll get for now, huh?”

“No.
I want you to be part of my life. I want you to move in here with me and Ben.”

“Are
you sure? I mean, isn’t it kind of a big move?”

“Not
as big as marriage.”

“True.”

“We’ll
keep everythin’ separate. You can come and go like you want. I won’t expect you
to take over the house like you’re my wife or anythin’ if you don’t want to.”

“What
if I want to?”

“Then
you can. I want us to be more than just roommates with benefits.” He smiled. “I
like the benefits parts though.”

“Can
I do some decorating here?
Nothing major.
Curtains, flowers…things like that.”

“Sure
you
can,
darlin’.”

Her
heart tripped over itself when she heard his endearment. He hadn’t given up on
her completely, but she’d earn his trust and his long term love. If he never
asked her to marry him, it was really okay. She’d have him in her life and that
was the most important part of the whole thing.

“Come
‘ere.”

She
launched herself into his arms, kissing all over his face in a rush to reach
his lips. The softness of his mouth against hers brought tears to her eyes. “I
love you.”

“I
love you too, Terri. Don’t ever forget that no matter what, okay? I want you in
my life.”

“I
want to be there too.”

“Good.
When can you move your stuff in?”

“I’ll
have to pack up my apartment, but I brought enough with me to stay for a
while.”

“Awful
confident weren’t you?” he asked, pushing his fingers into her hair.

“Hell
no.
I planned on staying in one of the cabins at the
ranch until you said you loved me again.”

He
kissed her quickly, a little smooch that left her wanting a lot more. “I never
stopped, baby. I just can’t commit to marriage right now.”

She
ran her tongue across his jaw, enjoying the stubble of the unshaven line. “I
know and I’m sorry I pushed you. It wasn’t fair to you.”

“Will
you stay with me tonight?”

“If
you want me to.”

“Yeah,
I do. The thought of not havin’ you in my bed tonight had me goin’ crazy.” His
gray eyes reflected the love he felt for her.

After
all, a ring didn’t mean anything. The feelings between two people resided in
their hearts. “You can have me every night in your bed with no strings. I
promise not to pressure you anymore about a ring.”

“I
hope you know how much I love you.”

“You
mean everything to me, Jeff. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before and I
don’t plan on feeling this way about anyone ever again. You’re it for me.”

He
pushed her back, forcing her to stand. “Come on. I’ve got a woman to love on
for the next hundred years.”

“Only
a hundred?” she asked with a giggle as he swept her up into his arms and headed
for his bedroom.

“We’ll
start there.”

“I
can do a hundred or a thousand. As long as I’m with you, it doesn’t matter how
many years go by. We’ll be together.”

“In
this house, in this bed.
Together.
Just the two of us.”

“Or
three depending on how many times Ben ends up in bed with us.”

“Oh,
he might too. He does tend to crawl into bed with me when he has a nightmare or
something. Since he has a new momma, he might tend to be there more than we
want him to be.”