Healing Grace (14 page)

Oops. “I’m sorry. It’s been a long day. I’m not used to so much activity, I guess. You were talking about Ernest Hemingway.”

“Hmm. Yes, well.” He picked up the framed photograph on the lamp table. “This was your husband, I assume?”

“Yes. Jonathan Runyon. MD.”

“You look very happy.”

“We were. It was good, until the end when he was so sick. Cancer.” Please, no medical talk today. “It was—well, everything possible was done. Now it’s over.”

“Oh?”

She took the picture from him and stood up. She put it back on the little table and glanced out the window.

“And now you live next door to another sick man.”

“Yeah. I thought, when I first met him, what a great cruel joke on me, God. Thanks a lot.”

“People talk. You spend a lot of time together.”

“I take care of Ted’s son.”

“Is that all?”

“I beg your pardon?” Grace snorted. “Not you, too. Enough with the insinuations.” He sat there on her sofa, wearing a fuzzy moss green sweater and nice khakis: healthy, clean-shaven, sincere. She cocked her head, wondering why he should care.

He shrugged. “Sorry. Idle gossip.”

“Not that it’s any of your business,” she kept her tone light, “but when Shelby couldn’t watch him anymore… I like the Marshalls. I didn’t know them when I bought this house, and perhaps the next time you listen to idle gossip you can set the story straight. I told you the circumstances and what kind of hours I would be available to work and why when you hired me at the clinic.”

Greg set his coffee cup back down with a sharp clink. He got to his feet and walked over to the tree, reaching out to touch one of her small gingerbread men.

“You’re right. That was rude and I apologize.” He turned back to look at her. “I never thought I’d need a policy about not becoming involved with my staff. There’s always just been Matty. Or Nancy. Of course, it goes without saying that there would never be anything romantic with active patients. When I found out you’d only been widowed a short time, I waited. I watch you with patients, listening to Nancy with her family problems, at home with Matty today. You have so much life, so much to give. So lovely in every way.” He fingered a dried cranberry strung with popcorn. “Oh, Lord. Look, Grace, I wondered, um, I mean, I naturally assumed… No, that’s not right, either.” He sighed as he faced the door. “I only mean that I hoped that, ah, maybe, you…and then…”

He went still. Grace heard it, too—firm steps across the porch, followed by staccato knock.

“But, I suppose not.”

She moved toward the front door. “Wait a minute, Ted,” she called out, already guessing who her visitor was. “I, well, I just don’t think I’m ready yet—for anything romantic with …um, well, anyone.”
No matter how I let my thoughts wander next door, or how I long sometimes for Ted to come over when Eddy and I are just hanging out, reading a book, how it would feel to be a family again.

She opened the door. “Ted! Merry Christmas. Come on in out of the cold.”

“Are you all right? I saw a strange…oh, Doctor. Hello, and Merry Christmas.” Ted glanced from her to the doctor, one eyebrow arched and a frown belying the friendly greeting.

Greg folded his arms and stared back at Ted. “Mr. Marshall. And Merry Christmas to you, too.”

Grace did her best not to giggle, but rolled her eyes as she took their empty cups out to the kitchen. “Would you like some coffee, Ted?” she called back. “Or tea? I’m getting us a refill.”

“Oh, well, no. I thought I’d stop by and see what, ah, how you were. How was it at Matty and Harold’s?”

She answered from the kitchen, wincing at the echo. “Just crazy! Wild. And so much fun. Great food.” She brought their cups back, filled. “How was your day?”

Neither man sat. She plopped the tray on the coffee table and made herself comfortable once again on the sofa. She helped herself to a cookie, trying to make this situation out to be perfectly natural. Ted acted like a lion defending its den and Greg was sizing up Ted as if he were determining the most efficient point for a kill.

“Ted?”

“Um, pretty quiet, really. Kaye and Tanya stopped over. We had a good phone conversation with Jimmy, Randy’s boy. Thank you for the gifts, by the way. We all liked them.”

“Good. I’m glad. Thank you for your gifts, as well.”

“Well, I guess I’ll be heading back, then,” Ted said after another awkward silence. “I’m sorry if I interrupted anything.”

“That’s all right,” Greg assured him and helpfully opened the door for him to go out into the cold, dark night. “And Happy New Year.”

She looked at Greg over the rim of her cup and decided to say nothing.

“Why do I feel like my grandmother just scolded me?” Greg complained when he sat across from her again.

That made Grace laugh. “All right, boss. Maybe we could try this again, hmm? What do you want?”

“Boss, huh? Honestly? What do I want?” He sighed. “I’m not sure. I like being a bachelor—most of the time.” He grinned. “Half the town wonders why I’m not married for one reason or the other. I like women. I go on dates. I never wanted, well, just to settle. No one ever made me want to stay home for Christmas before. For years I always assumed I would be moving on and didn’t want to take a chance that someone wouldn’t want to move with me. Then it was sort of too late to meet anyone new. Until you came along. And I saw how you looked at Marshall.” His gaze slid to the photograph on the lamp table. “I always thought I’d have that someday.”

Hot stabbing pain started in the corner of her eyes and made her mouth tremble. “Don’t, Greg. Don’t want that. Because when it’s over, you wonder why God could be so cruel. You wonder why you should bother breathing anymore. You try to run so far…and you end up—”

“Marshall’s prognosis isn’t very encouraging.”

Grace took a deep breath and lifted her face to the ceiling. When she felt in control again, she leveled a look at her guest. “You’re the one who keeps bringing him up, Greg.”

He frowned and plucked at the fringe of an afghan slung over the arm of the chair, a gift from Shelby who couldn’t do much more than work her crochet hook.

“I’ve never hidden my beliefs, my faith. You know that. I’m not ready to give up on Ted. God has been known to perform miracles when we let him.”

Greg nodded. “You and old Mrs. Brown can really go at the religious stuff, I’ve noticed. She’s perked up a good deal since she has someone from her part of the world to talk to.”

“What I can do, what I’ve always believed was true as far as these hands,” —she held them up between them— “is that God wants me to touch people, both inside and out. I admit, I can be a little, um…” She dropped her hands and looked away. “Well, it got to the point where I thought I could do pretty much anything. Then the good Lord saw fit to teach me a lesson.”

“I won’t believe in a God who takes away your husband simply to teach you an unwarranted lesson in humility.”

She shook her head. “I don’t believe that’s what I said. No one can be too sure of anything, even medical prognoses. Back home there was always hope.”

“What about me? Can I hope?”

Grace raised her eyebrows. “Please don’t let me stop you. But I don’t think you’ve decided for sure what it is that you really want. Things will be changing next year, I can feel it.” She looked at the photograph of her husband. “We all have time to consider our steps carefully. We’ve only just begun to get to know each other, all of us. No one can predict the future.”

She picked up her teacup. “I’m not sure how it happened, but I woke up and found myself in the motel one morning. Literally,” she said to Greg’s raised eyebrows. “I barely remember the drive from Tennessee. I was in shock. I’m here for a reason, obviously. That much I accept from God. But I don’t know yet for sure what that reason is. Ted needed immediate help with Eddy. There may be more in the future, I’m not sure. I’m helping people at the clinic like I did back home. With hope…and patience. I’m learning not to be so…arrogant? And I’m so newly widowed that I don’t know how to act around…men. I never had a boyfriend other than Jonathan. I’m learning how to be alone and that’s okay with me for now. The Lord says, ‘My grace is sufficient for you,’ and I’m figuring out how to accept that.”

Greg stood and took restless steps back and forth in front of the little tree. He put his hands in his pockets and hunched. “All those self-satisfied little remarks come to mind. You know— ‘I bet God can’t keep you warm at night, or shovel your driveway,’ or…”

He shook his head. “My grandmother again. She’s here, looking over your shoulder at me. She believed—like you seem to. I never considered God any more real than in a church on Sundays.” He pulled his coat off the rack near the door and put it on. Grace trailed him to the door, feeling like she just lost the opportunity to take part in something big and good. He deserved better and wished she could give it to him.

Before he left, he put his hands on her shoulders and sighed. “I guess no one can define ‘fair,’ can he?”

She smiled. “Fair doesn’t have much to do with reality, Greg. You see that every day.”

“True. Thanks for the coffee…and conversation…and” —he gave her shoulders a little awkward pat—“food for thought. I’ll never look at your hands in the same way again.” His faded blue eyes were very close. His lashes were very thick for a blond. Grace’s breathing slowed and a spark leaped when he tugged her hand to his mouth to gently kiss her fingers. But not like the spark Ted made. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Greg.”

Ted didn’t wait for an answer to his knock the next morning. Sheer frustration propelled him across the threshold into Shelby and Dave’s little house. “All right. What’s wrong with me? I just don’t get it. I’m trying, I really am. What does it take? I admit I’ve been out of touch for a couple of years, but I’m outta my league, here. What can I do?”

“Yo, slow down, man. What are you talking about? And Merry Christmas!”

“Doc Evans is ruining it. Her. You know him. I mean, Dave knows him. We all thought he was…I don’t know, gay, or something. All of a sudden…I mean, does she even know what she’s doing?”

“Nice to see you, there. How’s Christmas vacation going?”

Ted blinked. “What? Oh, yeah. Fine. You and Grace have gotten to know each other pretty well, haven’t you? How long does it take to get over losing a husband? When do you know you’re ready to get involved again? I mean, well…” He stopped, unsure how to go on.

Shelby looked puzzled with her head cocked at a funny angle and her brows all scrunched up. Then she snorted a great raspberry. “Ted Marshall, I declare, you thinking ’bout fallin’ in love again?” She giggled and clapped.

Ted sat back and heaved a great sigh. “It’s not a joke. You have to help me out here. I’m drowning. You’re a woman. What do women want?”

Shelby plucked at the afghan she was wrapped in and heaved her great bloated belly around. “Yeah, I’m a woman, hard as it may be to believe. But I don’t know, Ted. I couldn’t ever imagine getting over Davy if I lost him. I hate to have to point this out, but being widowed is different from being divorced.”

Ted pursed his lips and drew his eyebrows close.

“Come on, you said it yourself,” she continued. “If you’re angry or not in love anymore, or betrayed, you divorce and move on. If someone dies on you, it’s not like you had any kind of choice in the matter.”

Ted pushed himself up and started a hesitant pacing. “But what if there’s someone else, someone better—”

“You’re not using your cane or anything!”

Ted stopped in front of her and put his hands on his hips. “Yesterday, I was thrilled. Today—hey, don’t change the subject!”

Shelby grinned. Ted shook his head and went back to pacing.

“I guess I’ve been so wrapped up in thinking I was going to die that I didn’t try to live after Jilly left us. I was worried about my little boy and what was going to happen to him. I didn’t ever want to feel like there was a chance for anything else, for a future with anyone.” He stopped to look through her window out into the snow-covered yard.

“Now I think maybe, I can get better. Maybe there’s something more. An opportunity to start over. Do something right.” He knelt and took her hands. “Do you think it could happen? Grace is so special. She came into our lives for a reason. I just know it. I feel it. How can I help but love her?”

Shelby stared at his hands. “I know what you mean, Ted. I never could carry a baby before, but since she came I knew it would be all right this time. It’s like we connected immediately. I’ve never known anyone like her. But it’s not like everyone instantly falls in love with her. She has a purpose here, I agree.” She held Ted’s gaze with her own. “But I don’t think she’s here only for us. I haven’t been able to get out to church lately you know. When she comes over, she reads Bible stories sometimes with me, besides other books.”

Ted jumped up. “Yeah. That’s nice. So?”

“There’s a lot to our girl we can’t understand. Anyway, we were reading from the book of Romans, about Paul wanting things, following his goal. She got this far-away look—you know—almost like she went to another place. We talked a lot about why people do the things they do, why some things happen, girl stuff mostly. You wouldn’t be interested.” Shelby stopped and twitched her lips. “Funny. I went to church all my life and never really considered the Bible as anything much more than something people read at church. She told me she tries to read almost every day. And pray, too. How about that?” She shook her head. “It’s positively mysterious. Anyway, did you think, Ted, that maybe she’s the first woman you’ve been attracted to in years and it’s only a phase, or something? I don’t mean to offend you, man, but it’s been a long time.”

“Well, yeah. That’s what I’m trying to say. It
has
been a long time. I need…advice. You have to tell me how to handle situations like…last night.”

An alarmed look flashed across her face. “What did you do?”

“Nuthing. At least… Well, it’s Christmas. So, yesterday, last night, I went to her house. I saw a light on and knew she was home. There was a car in the driveway. I was concerned.” He twisted his lips. “I was. Don’t look at me like that. Maybe I should have turned around, but I had to see—”