Heart Lies & Alibis (35 page)

He nodded, his eyes looking a thousand miles and over a decade into the past. "We met sophomore year at a stupid school dance. I was a cocky sixteen-year-old and she was a nice girl, too good for me. She got good grades, had a nice upstanding family, and was never in trouble a day in her life. We were about as opposite as people get and yet we just clicked. I could talk to her, I mean really talk to her, about my dad and all his shit and about what I wanted to do with my life. Even about my mom. Anything I wanted to talk about, Abby was interested in and knew just what to say to me." He smiled at the memories and I liked the softness his face had when he talked about her.

"We started dating and were inseparable from day one, much to her parents' disapproval at first. Eventually, Abby convinced them I was really a decent guy and they came to accept our relationship and me. Things were going pretty good for a while. I would spend weekends with them and it allowed me distance myself from my dad and all his shit. Life felt worth something for the first time in a long time"

I watched as the clouds of emotion filled his gray eyes again. "But something must have happened? Malachy said you two ended things." I pushed gently needing to know more.

He furrowed his brow and I could see his body tensing, the emotions of the past washing over him in a wave of anger and regret. "By senior year, I knew I wanted to join the military. College had never really been a thought for me and I knew I needed to get out of Boston and especially out of my neighborhood if I didn't want to end up like Malachy or my father. So I looked into the Army and it seemed like the right fit. Abby was headed for Harvard in the fall and I would be leaving for boot camp right after graduation." He didn't say anything else but I could see by how his face tensed he had made a decision back then that changed everything.

"You thought it would be better to break up with her before you left for boot camp to save her the possible pain and loneliness of a long distance relationship. But that wasn't what Abby wanted was it?" My heart broke for the kids they had been and how hard it must have hurt to say good-bye.

He met my eyes and I could see the pain, distant but still raw in only the way your first broken heart can leave you. "No. She didn't want it at all. I told her the day after we graduated we needed to break up. She broke down in tears. I had never felt so bad in my life. She kept saying she would wait for me, assuring me we could make it work and reminding me over and over again how much she loved me. But I wanted her to have a chance at a good life and I didn't think I could give it to her. I wanted her to be able to experience all the things college had to offer without feeling tied down to some loser she met in high school. I thought she needed to meet someone better than a thug from the South end of Boston. I ended it that night in spite of her pleas and didn't see her again until I returned to Boston to help my dad after I left the Army."

I was watching him travel back to that time and I could tell he was almost not even aware of the room or me. As he spoke, his face filled with emotion as if he were reliving each memory in the moment. My heart ached for the pain I could see fill his eyes.

"Was she with Malachy like he said?" I waited for the answer.

He pushed his chair back, standing up and walking to the bag on the counter before extracting the bottle of bourbon we had purchased in town. Without answering, he took down two glasses and poured us both a neat two fingers. He returned to the table handing me one of the glasses before sitting down again. "I guess they were. Maybe. Fuck, I don't really know and at the time I didn't care. Abby and I tried to be just friends when I came back. We had grown up a lot in the years since high school and we were each trying to move in a new direction with our lives. But there was still this thing between us, a connection that never really went away, and I found myself falling in love with her all over again. She told me she cared for Malachy that he had been there for her when I left and they had a life together now. She said she was happy and I was glad for her. But I could tell, she didn't love him, at least not the way she had loved me."

He stood up again, and started pacing the small kitchen, stopping only to splash more bourbon in his glass. "I was in a local bar one night when she came in. We talked, had some drinks, and for a minute things felt like old times. I told her I would walk her home. When we got to her house I gave her a hug and I started to leave but she grabbed my face and she kissed me. For a moment, I was seventeen again. I had tried to push my feelings for her away, bury them, to protect her and respect her new life but that kiss changed everything. She told me that night she had never stopped loving me and she wanted us to try to be together again. It was everything I wanted." He leaned against the counter and took a long drink still lost in his memories. Finally, he shook his head and started pacing again.

"As he said at your house, Malachy was less than thrilled by her decision when she told him the next day. He blamed me and was gunning for a confrontation but I didn't care. I found out being back with Abby was almost better the second time around. We had only been back together a few weeks when she was killed. I thought my life couldn't get worse after that and then my dad was killed and well you know the rest of that story."

I looked into my drink for a few moments, allowing all of what he said to sink in. I felt my heart lurch just a bit at the knowledge he had loved someone so deeply before me. Of course, I had loved Thad once upon a time but not like that type of passion and emotion. I had even loved Lincoln once upon a time but it was nothing compared to the love Declan described. What did that say about me? Had I been waiting for Declan a whole lot longer than I knew?

Declan set his glass down and walked over to me. Kneeling in front of my chair, he took my hands from my glass and turned me to face him. I met his eyes and found they were still clouded with pain. "Abby was my first love Reagan and for a time I thought she would be my lifetime love. But she died and then I met you and I finally understood what people meant when they said they had found their soul mate. You are smart, and sexy, and beautiful, and I feel like we will never run out of things to talk about or adventures to share or love to make. Like I told Malachy, you are everything I ever wanted before I knew what I wanted. You are my lifetime love, Reagan. For always."

I didn't respond with words but leaned forward instead, taking his face in my hands and looking deep into his eyes before kissing him. He stood, pulling me to my feet before sweeping me into his arms and carrying me down to the bedroom. The strange bed, the ghosts from our pasts, even the threats of criminals and law officials hunting us, all faded away in the moonlight which streamed through the window. We made love that night like only two people can who know tomorrow has no guarantee of arriving so tonight may be their last chance at happiness can make love. I had spent forty years looking for this kind of love, in all the wrong places, and I fell asleep knowing I would fight to my last breath to save it.

Over coffee the next morning, we talked about Amberly and Thad. Declan wanted me to think about what it was Thad had been involved with that could have gotten him killed. I had no clue at all. I thought Thad and I had been pretty open with each other about our business dealings to do with firm but I knew now that wasn't the case. Whatever work he had been doing with the Cartel had been just another of the secrets he kept from me. I was starting to wonder how I had been so blind for so many years to so many things about my husband.

We continued to talk as the morning passed but made no further progress on untangling the strings between Thad and the Cartel. Eventually I needed a break. "Hey, I think I am going to take a walk down to that little store we passed yesterday. I need to stretch and do some thinking and I do my best thinking when I'm moving." I stood up from the kitchen chair. Declan's face looked worried for a moment. "Love, I will be fine. I will wear my hat and sunglasses, avoid strangers, and be very careful I promise. I just need to get out of here for a bit."

He stood and put his hands on my shoulders. "Are you sure you want to go alone?" He still seemed unconvinced of my assurances I would be safe.

"Yes, I need just a bit of time alone. You make it hard to think straight sometimes." I gave him a smile and was happy when one spread across his face.

"I'm glad. Okay, take your phone and let me know when you get to the store." He kissed my lips gently.

"Yes Dad." I teased before retrieving my baseball cap, tucking my hair up inside and slipping my large sunglasses on. I was wearing a pair of jeans, a long sleeved t-shirt and sneakers. I looked nothing like my regular self so I felt pretty comfortable I could maintain my anonymity in the small town.

I waved and headed outside, looking forward to a long walk after so many days filled with tension and stress. We were hours from home in a town where no one knew us. What could possibly go wrong?

Chapter 20

It took me about 45 minutes to cover the few miles to the store at the casual pace I was walking. The area was beautiful and calm and I loved the warm sun and crispness of the fall day. My thoughts were all over the place but eventually they all came back to focus on Declan and the future I wanted to share with him. I couldn't believe in the midst of my life falling apart I had found someone I wanted to love forever. I giggled out loud, feeling like a schoolgirl, and not giving a damn.

As he requested I stopped in the parking lot before going inside and dialed his cell. He answered on the first ring

"Checking in as instructed sir." I laughed into the phone.

"Very funny smart ass. How was your walk? Did you see anything interesting?"

"The walk was wonderful. The countryside is beautiful and it felt good to move again and get some exercise. It has been awhile."

His voice was deeper and sexier when he spoke this time. "And here I thought all the hours we spend making love was a workout. I guess I better up my game."

I felt my body heat from the center out at his words while my mind filled with images of his gorgeous naked body. "The time we spend is nothing but pleasure baby."

"I think you need to get back here soon so we can test that theory." I could picture the sexy grin on his face and closed my eyes in pleasure at the X-rated memories flooding my mind.

"I think you may be right. I'll be back in a few."

"I love you Reagan. Be safe."

"I love you too and I will. See you very soon love." I hung up the phone and headed inside. I smiled at the woman behind the counter as I turned down the first aisle.

Once I was in the store I spent some time browsing the aisles, choosing a few pieces of produce for dinner and a few snacks to have on the walk back. I found myself laughing at some of the more tacky tchotchkes the store had on display. I picked up a coffee mug that said "Crabby until I get my coffee" over a large red crab with "Enjoy Port Isabel, Texas" under it. I knew I needed to get it for Declan, although he would probably argue I was the bigger grump without caffeine and he would be mostly right.

It was getting late and I knew Declan would start to worry if I took much longer so I took my purchases to the counter and was paying for my things when I glanced outside in time to see two dark SVUs pull up to the gas pumps. I watched for a moment and nearly fainted when I saw who stepped out of the vehicles.

Emiliano Ortiz wore a dark gray suit over a black button down shirt with no tie. He looked as handsome, and cold blooded, as when he stood in my living room just a few days before and the sight of him seared into my eyes. My heart beat wildly in my chest and I wanted to bolt like a wild deer but I was frozen to the spot. As I watched him scan the parking lot with simple, efficient glances I saw another man round the back of the SUV and a stronger impulse to bolt made my hands start to shake. Malachy swaggered up next to Emiliano and pointed towards the road talking the entire time. My mind whirled in a thousand directions as questions ping-ponged erratically inside. What kind of hellish hole in the universe had opened and allowed these two snakes to slither out and back into my life? How did they find us so quickly? Why had they not killed each other? How was I going to make my body and mind unfreeze so I could get back to Declan as fast as I could?

I was so lost in my panic I hadn't heard the clerk talking to me. The older woman looked at me with genuine concern. "Are you okay darlin'? You look like you just saw a ghost."

It took all my will to force my eyes back to hers as the door at the front of the store opened. I froze. "I'm fine." I nearly whispered the words, grabbing my bags before I headed down one of the other aisles just as Ortiz and Malachy started to the register. I ducked behind some boxes at the end of the row and turned to look back.

"Good afternoon gentleman. How can I help y'all today?" The woman greeted them with the same pleasant voice she had used with me.

Ortiz spoke first, his voice satiny and charismatic just like I remembered. "Good afternoon. We were hoping you could help us with some directions. We are looking for Opal Union's house. Do you know where we need to go?" I almost gasped out loud. Opal Union was Sam Hayes' mother. How had they found their way here?

Ortiz's smoothness was hard to resist and I knew the clerk would not be immune. Her voice sounded more sugary when she spoke this time. "Oh darlin', Opal passed about four years ago. I hope you weren't coming to see her."