Authors: Victoria Zagar
Tags: #sci-fi, #gay, #space, #glbt, #alien, #science fiction, #m/m romance, #alien sex, #war, #gay romance
He turns to leave, then turns again. He knows it will be the last time he ever sees Alan, and so he stalks back to the bedside, summoning his courage as he goes. He leans over the bed and brushes Alan’s lips in a feather light kiss, then races out of the room before Alan can wake. He hurries down the hallway to the exit and is gone before the guards can wake up from their magical slumber.
Alan stirs and opens his eyes.
Was someone just here? I could have sworn I felt someone kiss me.
He smiles.
Just a dream, Alan. Go back to sleep.
Drowsy and somehow contented, he slips back into his peaceful slumber completely unaware of the guards sleeping outside in the hallway.
Chapter Seven
True Believer
Day Fourteen
Earth Base, Rinax Mountains
It’s before dawn when Alan is rudely awakened by Commander Macey storming into his room.
“Wake up,” he says. He grabs the doctor, who’s just arrived for his shift. “Wake him up. I need to talk to him now.”
Alan’s eyes open. “I’m already awake,” he says. “What’s the meaning of all this?”
“Your Karalian friend skipped out on us last night. Gone to inform his superiors about the location of this base, no doubt.” Macey grabs the front of Alan’s robe and pulls him upright. “If you know anything about this, you’d better speak now or face trial as a traitor!”
“There’s no way,” Alan says. “Vash isn’t a spy. The Karalians are trying to kill him!”
“Or so he claimed. Could be a good cover story to get him in here. Or perhaps he’s trying to get back in with them by throwing them a bone. Either way, we’re fucked unless we do some damage control.” He shakes his head. “I’ve got my best men tracking him across the desert. They know his location and report to me hourly. I won’t make the same mistake twice, Karvakian. Unless you can give me a good reason why I should spare his life, he’ll never make that report.”
“He’s not a spy!” Alan shoved Macey’s hands off him. “There has to be a good reason he went out into the desert!”
“With all those commandos looking for him? He’s either a spy or insane. I can’t take the chance that he’s spying on us and will undo two years of work. Do you hear me?”
“You have to let me go after him!” Alan was on his feet. “He’s not a spy! He’s just scared! Let me convince him to come back.”
“He broke off his anti-magic cuffs and put twenty of my men to sleep with his magical powers. What chance do you have against that?”
“If he was a spy, he would have killed those men,” Alan says. “Please, you can’t afford to lose a vital intelligence asset like Vash.”
“How do you even plan to communicate with him? I can’t afford to lend you a translator.” The fire in Macey’s eyes simmers down and Alan inwardly sighs with relief.
“He has a jewel that can translate. It’s broken right now, but I’m sure he can repair it. Besides, there’s always magic. I know I can find a way if you just let me go after him!”
“If he is a spy, sending you will let him know we’re successfully tracking him,” Macey says. “I can’t let you endanger the only chance we have of taking him out.”
“Look, he was here last night,” Alan says. “I thought I was dreaming at the time, but I think it was real. I think he came to say goodbye. He won’t think it’s strange if I follow him. He’ll think I was awake last night and I followed him hoping to stop him. You don’t have to reveal anything.” He reaches for his freshly washed uniform and starts to dress, wincing as the movements pull on his burns.
“You’re in no fit state to travel across the desert,” the doctor intercedes, but Alan waves a hand and cuts him off.
“I’m going,” Alan says. “It’s not up for debate. Vash is a friend and if he has betrayed us, I need to know why. Otherwise everything he’s taught me about Karalians is a lie. He made me believe, Macey, and if he’s turned on me and twisted that belief, I’ll kill him myself.”
“My latest reports suggest he’s made camp at the top of a cliff to the west. I’ll lend you a dune buggy to drive out there. I’ll warn you though; my men are watching. You even think about switching sides and my snipers will kill you both. Understood?”
“Loud and clear, sir,” Alan says.
Macey turns and walks through the door while Alan finishes getting dressed.
“You truly see something in that Karalian, don’t you?” the doctor says. “Do you trust him enough to risk your life for him? Macey will do as he must, even if that means killing you both. He is a man of his word, that one.”
“I trust Vash,” Alan says. “I know he didn’t betray us. He deserves a chance to explain his actions.”
“Even if he does return, his future may not be bright. Earth is no place for Karalians. Many asylum seekers live in hovels, and live out their lives as subjects of racism and abuse. It is not easy to live among one’s enemies. I used to treat the Exiles in a free clinic. Some say the punishment Karalia had lined up for them would have been better; at least it would have been a swift death, as opposed to the slow death of living among an underclass that is feared and hated.”
“I didn’t know,” Alan says. “I’ve never seen a Karalian on Earth. I don’t get back there much; all I have are the vids.”
“The vids would never show the conditions the Exiles are living in. It is a great shame on all of us that we treat all Karalians as if they were of one mind, when the opposite is in fact true. The vids talk of the persecution the Karalians lay down upon their people but say nothing of the persecution that awaits them in exile.”
“I had no idea,” Alan admits, bowing his head.
“Of course you wouldn’t,” the doctor says. “Nice middle-class guy like you has probably never seen a day of hardship. Bet you have a nice family waiting at home with a white picket fence. You’re in this war to keep them all safe. Blah blah, I’ve heard it before. The more sheltered the soldiers, the more blind they are. You must have seen a millionaire’s son or two - they think war is all romance. They usually die real quick if Command doesn’t put them behind a desk.”
“I’ll admit I didn’t know a lot, but Vash is opening my eyes. That’s why I can’t let him go.” Alan packs a bag hurriedly, throwing in bottled water, ration packs and bandages. “It’s true I’ve been unaware of a lot of things. That I’ve believed in things blindly, like the vids. Perhaps my trust in Vash is just another foolish belief that will be broken. But if we can’t believe in friendship, in loyalty, in people - then why are we still alive?”
“Go get him,” the doctor says. “I’ll be waiting for you both to come back.”
~
The heat bears down on Alan as he drives his dune buggy across the purple sand. He wipes his brow and keeps driving, even as the mirage makes the purple desert seem to move like quicksand. His supplies of water soon run low, but he presses on, stopping only for a brief moment to watch the setting sun as it shimmers golden on the horizon. Rinax’s moon hangs low in the sky and Alan take a moment to appreciate the alien sunset, how the purple sand appears black and shimmering against the dying golden sun, how the massive crystals focus and refract the light, creating small rainbows and illusions in the sand.
It’s a beautiful thing, this alien world. If only it was not at the heart of a hotly contested zone, I bet tourists would flock to see something like this. Colonists would be signing up in droves to live in a paradise with amethyst sand. Instead it’s a war zone, the crystals painted with the blood of Karalians and Humans alike, the desert littered with a thousand wrecked ships just like mine.
Alan follows the dot on the mapping device as it takes him to the co-ordinates. As it grows dark, he sees a bright light on the horizon.
A camp fire? Or a signal fire?
He jumps off the buggy and pulls climbing equipment from the back. He throws a rope over a tree branch in case he falls, fastening the other end around his waist and begins to climb. In some places the rock is sheer and he fires massive staples from a gun to serve as footholds. The rope around his waist slips and chafes his injury, and he almost lets go as the pain burns into him. He grabs the next handhold and takes a breather, resting his face against the rock. He looks down and instantly regrets it, vertigo making his head spin and his stomach lurch.
I’m built to be a fighter pilot, where I’m in control. I can’t do this. I can’t.
He closes his eyes and hangs on, willing the panic away.
Vash will die if I can’t pull myself together and climb this rock. He saved my life. I owe it to him to find out the truth of all this and see if I can’t help him somehow.
Feeling better, he reaches for another handhold.
Almost there. Just a little further.
The flashlight on his helmet flickers and he curses under his breath. One more step and he puts his hands over the top edge of the cliff, pulling himself up. He unties the rope and leaves it at his feet as he surveys his surroundings. A large bonfire is lit, and he can see Vash crouched in shadow at the foot of it. He suddenly remembers the gentle brush of lips against his, the ever-so-slight taste of honey and nectar.
No, it was just a dream. Vash didn’t kiss me. Why would he?
He slowly walks along the cliff top, gravel crunching under his feet. Vash doesn’t move from his spot by the fire, he just sits contemplating the hot, crackling flames as they dance in his eyes. He’s mesmerized by their dance as they consume the wood and he doesn’t even seem to notice as Alan sits down beside him.
“Vash.” Alan breaks the silence. “Vash, they’re looking for you. They think you’re a spy. Why did you run? What do you hope to achieve out here?”
Vash is quiet for a few moments, then he speaks softly in heavily-accented English. “I had not thought I would see you again.”
He can speak our language? This is no magic; such an accent could only come from his real voice. But what Karalian would learn English, if not a spy?
“You speak English? Then why the jewel? Why the translator? Why the deception?”
“A misunderstanding could have been fatal. The jewel makes it... easier to communicate. The translator made Macey feel he was in control. I am sorry for any deception.”
I must have faith. Vash would not betray me.
“I had to come after you. Commander Macey thinks you will tell the Karalians about the base. He’s ready to kill you.”
“I know,” Vash says simply. “He is mistaken, but it does not matter. He only believes what I want him to believe.”
“What do you mean? Vash, you’re not making any sense.”
“I cannot go back to Earth with you, Alan. Not at the price Macey asks. He wants complete betrayal of my people; plans, weapons, tactics, even the location of my family’s vault. It is one thing to go into exile with another people, but a different thing completely to betray your own.” Vash pulls his knees up and rests his head on them.
“You killed Karalian commandos, same as I did.”
“Commandos, yes. Soldiers, doing their job. In survival it is kill or be killed, yes? You either hunt or become the hunted. That is something we warriors all agree to. But the old ones, the women and children do not. I will not collude with your people to stage an attack on my planet and kill the innocent.” He struggles to find words in English to express what he is feeling, but Alan sees it in the slight tremble of his hands and the pallor in his face.
“You came out here to die.” Alan’s revelation is instant, spoken at the same time it is realized and it shocks him to the core. “Vash, you can’t...”
“I can... and I must. My selfish desires as a
kast’ka
are not worth spilling the blood of innocents for. Let them come for me. I shall kill as many of them as I can and walk into the fire. One final act of rebellion is all I have.” Vash closes his eyes, perhaps fighting back tears or perhaps simply searching for his next words.
“I won’t let you do that.” Alan’s words are passionate and forceful, revealing the torrent of emotions running through him. “We came all this way. We’ve been through so much together. I didn’t drag you through the desert so you could throw your life away!” He’s on his feet, hands pulling at his hair, pacing back and forth. “Why do you have to be so Gods-damn selfless? Why can’t you just think of yourself for once? What do you want to do?”
Vash shakes his head, a slight smile forming on his lips. Alan wants to shake his shoulders, shake that smile right off his face.
“What’s so damn funny?”
“I was thinking that you and I are... alike.”
The anger seemed to fall away all at once and Alan walked over to the cliff edge. “Yeah. I guess we are. I wanted to go out in a blaze of glory too. In your situation, I would probably do the same thing.” He walked back over to Vash and slumped down in front of the fire. “I couldn’t betray my people either.” They sat in silence together, watching the flames eat away at the wood.
“Vash, can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“What is the Karalian punishment for being a
kast’ka
?”
“You would not... want to know.” Vash bowed his head.
“Perhaps, but I feel like I should know. What was so terrible you wanted me to shoot you rather than endure it? I want to know what I’m fighting against. I want to know why you would burn alive and die alone in the sand sooner than face it. I want to know what’s in that needle the commandos had.”
“A biological weapon. A parasite.” Vash closes his eyes against the horror of it. “My people... acquired it a generation ago. When delivered inside the host’s body, the parasite eats away at the vital organs, causing immense pain and eventually, death. The Karalians have an antidote, which they give to their commando leaders to make them immune... so they can inject themselves with the parasite and deliver it by raping the victim. It is the ultimate humiliation, the destruction of the spirit and the end of all rebellion which they seek.”
“He just... split open, like he was being torn apart from inside. Inside there were all these worms, but the Karalian was still alive, begging to die...The way they targeted his vital organs in the most painful way possible made the doctors think that it was some kind of chemical weapon... I can’t believe we would do something like this, Alan!”