Heart on a Chain (22 page)

I nod. “I can see why. I’d like to die here, myself.”

He looks at me, and I realize what I said, how foolish it sounded. My cheeks pinken in chagrin.

“
What I meant was, if I
were
going to die, this would be an idyllic place to do it.”

Grandpa Henry laughs.

“
Well, let’s hope you don’t have to worry about that for some time.” He eyes my splinted wrist. “What happened there?”

My stomach tightens at the question. I find myself very much
not
wanting to lie to this man, but also not wanting to admit the truth. I struggle with my answer, while he waits patiently, watching the river flow by. Maybe it’s the calming influence of the river, or the way he seems to inspire confidence with his presence—another trait shared by his son and grandson—or just the fact that his eyes are so like my Henry’s, but I find myself blurting the truth.

“
My mother did it.” As soon as the words are out, I want to recall them, but instead of gasping with shock or looking at me with censure, he simply nods, keeping his eyes on the river.

“
I’ve been told I’m a pretty good listener.” Now he does turn toward me. “I’m also good at keeping secrets.”

And like that, I find myself telling him everything.

“
When I was young, my life was pretty normal, I think. I don’t have any bad or traumatic memories anyway. Then when I was nine my dad lost his job. I don’t know why that should have been such a big deal, since he goes through about a job a year now. But it changed everything.”

I tell him how my mother had changed after losing the baby, all the way up until the last beating, leaving out the worst details of the frequency and severity of the beatings, but I think he fills in the blanks anyway. He watches the river, not commenting or interrupting. At some point during my story, he had reached out and gently took hold of my hand. His weathered, wrinkled, calloused hand over mine has a calming effect, and rather than tell the story with tears or anger, I simply state the facts. When I finish, he squeezes my hand then releases it.

“
Does Henry know about this?”

I shake my head. “No. I think he might suspect a little, but he can’t really imagine it, coming from the family he does.”

“
No, I don’t imagine he can. My son knows?”

“
He knows some. He’s the one who fixed me up after the last…time. He saw some old injuries on my x-rays and asked me.”

“
He’s a good boy.”

I smile at his description of Dr. Jamison as a
boy
. I can hardly think of Henry as a boy, let alone his father.

“
Yes, he is,” I agree. “They are all good people. They have become my ideal of what a family should be. I never imagined that there were really families out there like that, where everyone was so nice, and loved each other so much.”

“
My son did well in choosing Emma for his wife. She reminds me very much of my June.” He eyes me sideways. “Looks like Henry has the same propensity for picking a good girl to love.”

I smile at him, warmed by the compliment.

“
You shouldn’t go back home,” he tells me, deadly serious. “It sounds like it keeps getting worse. What happens next time?”

I swallow. I’ve had those same thoughts myself, many times.

“
She seems to be trying now. She has been nice to me since the last time, and she allowed me to come here. She even gave me a little money, which was a big sacrifice for her.”

“
Does she know you came with Henry?”

“
No,” I look away, feeling guilty. “She doesn’t even know Henry. I just told her I was going with a friend, which wasn’t a lie. Henry is my best friend.”

We hear leaves crunching against the ground behind us and turn to see Henry coming toward us. I look at Grandpa Henry, stress tightening my eyes at the thought that he’ll tell my secret. He glances at me and shakes his head, indicating his confidentiality.

“
There you two are,” Henry says, glancing at his grandpa with a loving smile, then turning his gaze on me, concern in his expression. I smile and he visibly relaxes.

“
We’re just sitting here, admiring the river.” Grandpa Henry tells him. “Wanted to make sure this girl was good enough for you.” His tone is light and teasing, but I have a feeling that underneath it all he’s a little serious about that.

“
And?” Henry asks, smiling. I look toward Grandpa Henry, also awaiting his response.

“
And I think now that I have to wonder if
you’re
good enough for
her
!” They both laugh while I shake my head at them.

“
Well,” Henry says, “if I’m not, I’m going to try really hard to make myself worthy.” Henry reaches us and leans down to pull my hand up into his.

Grandpa Henry stands, and I hurry to follow suit. He pats me on the shoulder, keeping me in place.

“
I think you will do just fine,” he tells Henry.

“
And what do you think of Grandpa?” Henry asks me.

“
I think I know where you get your charm from.”

Grandpa Henry bursts out laughing at that.

“
Good answer,” he tells me. Then he looks at Henry. “I’m going back up to the house. You two kids just come along when you’re ready.”

Henry sits next to me on the bench where his grandpa had been and strings his arm around my shoulder. I happily lean into him, wrapping my arm around his waist. We sit that way for some time, watching the river in comfortable silence.

My time in Florida is rejuvenating to my soul. I’m not required to do anything under threat of violence, there isn’t anyone torturing me or teasing me in anything but a loving manner.

Henry’s family takes me to an amusement park, and I’m as excited as
Christine
by all of the characters and rides. Claire and Amy try to pretend indifference, but they soon drop all pretenses and become as excited as me about it all.

Henry takes me on roller coasters that drop my stomach with thrilling fear, and on rides that amaze me with the creativity in each one. Best of all, he takes me on a huge swing that pulls us high into the sky and, when Henry tugs a cord, drops us 150 feet toward the earth at a speed that has me laughing and crying all at once. It takes me as high as I’ve
tried
to go on my own swing-set, but which I haven’t been able to do, since it doesn’t have the height of this one. It’s exhilarating.

We eat popcorn and caramel apples and cotton candy until we’re sick. Emma takes hundreds of pictures.

We go to the swamps and see real live alligators on an airboat, then eat at a restaurant on the shore of the swamp and eat “gator bites,” which to my horror are
real
alligator. We go to the theater and see a movie, another first for me.

We spend many days with Grandpa Henry and Grandma June, sometimes at their house, sometimes at the beach house. Those are my favorite times, surrounded by this loving family where there’s always laughter. We barbecue steaks and hamburgers, which I’ve never had before. Dr. Jamison laughs at my insistence on watching him do this so I can learn how.

I always help Emma in the kitchen if I’m there, even though she protests that I’m a guest. One night after a busy day, Claire, Amy and I kick her out of the kitchen and the three of us make a bit of a feast for the family. All my years of having to create meals out of what was available comes in handy. We set the table formally, Claire taking charge of that and showing me how to properly place the utensils. I have to push back the memories of the last time I’d attempted such a thing, stomach tightening with nerves when we let the family in. But Emma’s overjoyed reaction and the appreciation of the rest of the family sweep that memory away and replace it with this new, good memory.

Christmas Eve and Christmas day are spent at Grandpa Henry and Grandma June’s. After a delicious Christmas Eve dinner, made by Grandma June, Henry takes me out to the bench by the river so we can exchange gifts. He insists on opening mine first.

Now that it’s time for him to open it, I feel doubtful about it. It hadn’t cost much. At the time I had bought it, I’d wanted to give him something to tell him how I feel about him, but now that I’m unsure of his words that day in the ocean, I’m a little afraid he’ll think it’s too forward.

He un-wraps it, opening the box to reveal the small crystal square with a heart laser-engraved in the center of it.

“
It’s not much I know. It’s just…I wanted…. It means…” I trail off, not sure what to tell him.

He looks at me, and I see something like hope in his eyes.

“
Why did you give me this?” he asks softly, not demanding, just wanting to know what it means.

I sigh and looked away, embarrassed.

“
Because I wanted you to know how I feel about you.”

He tugs my chin up until my eyes meet his.

“
And how do you feel about me, Kate? Besides being your best friend,” he quickly qualifies.

I swallowed loudly, glancing down, afraid to speak the words now. Then I decide to tell him anyway, and hope that he won’t think I’m a silly girl. I look him directly in the eyes and take a breath.

“
You know…that I love you,” I tell him.

He smiles, a smile that lights up his face, pulling me into his arms and kissing me deeply.

“
Finally!” he exclaims.

“
Finally?” I echo.

“
I was beginning to wonder, Kate. It’s been almost a week since I told you that I love you, and you haven’t said anything. I was starting to worry that you didn’t and I’ve been wondering what I could do to make you love me.”

“
You
want
me to love you?” I ask, stunned.

“
Kate, I’ve loved you for years. I mean, I know twelve-year-olds don’t know what love is, so I guess I should say I’ve really
liked
you for years. But when I saw you this year, I knew. I knew we should be together. I just didn’t know how hard you were going to make me work to get you to even
like
me. So, yeah, of course I want you to love me back.”

I smile.

“
Well, I
do
love you. More than I thought I could, more than I should. But I don’t care. I don’t care if it makes other people mad, or if I don’t deserve you and I don’t care if you don’t like it because I do love you and I am going to forever, no matter what.”

Henry laughs at my speech, kissing me again.

“
Okay, give me my present now,” I demand jokingly when I can catch my breath.

He bought me a silver chain with an open heart pendant hanging from it. “Same theory behind my gift,” he tells me, shrugging. I kiss him. “I thought about giving you a jacket,” he smiles wryly, “but I like seeing you in mine.”

“
Thank you. It’s the best gift I have ever received.”

Later, Emma asks me and Henry to help play Santa Claus and lay out the girls’ gifts. I haven’t had a Christmas morning since I was a young girl. I’d forgotten how much fun it can be, all the excitement and anticipation.

Christmas morning begins early with
Christine
’s excited squeals. I watch her and the other two girls as they excitedly tear into their gifts. Claire is aware of just who Santa Claus really is, of course, but she plays along for the sake of her two younger sisters.