Heartbreaker Hanson (4 page)

His
face drew closer to me. Heat sizzled through my body. Was he going to kiss
me???

Before
he could own me any further with his hungry eyes and words Delia came bouncing
into the room. (Thank goodness!)

Snapping
out of my trance, I shot up from the bed as fast as lightning. Suddenly
consumed with guilt—since I’d been yearning for Drew’s kiss—and it
had seemed he was going to give it to me. Big time.

Waves
of guilt washed through me as I leapt from his bed, though Drew groaned and winced
like my move—or the interruption—caused him immense heartache. He
ducked his head and made a little grunt noise, his eyes staying on me as his
little sister ran to me, then he collapsed back, as though in defeat. He even
made a tiny tortured noise, though he was just playing, and it was funny.

“Brooke!”
Delia squealed in delight, flinging her arms around my neck.

“Hey
Delia!” I laughed, returning her tight hug. “I missed you, little runt.”

Delia
tugged on my hand excitedly. “Come see my new tea-set! I got it last week for
my birthday!”

“No
Delia,” Mrs. Roberts said at the bedroom door. “It’s very late. You tell Brooke
good night. You have school in the morning.”

“Good-night
Brooke,” Delia said reluctantly. “Will you come over and play with me tomorrow?”

“Maybe.”

I
didn’t make any promises, because—No.

No
way. I could never come here again. Not ever. My heart couldn’t take it. It
turned to putty just being near Drew—but having him gaze at me like he
does now? No way. My heart is wayyy too much of a goner to handle it.

Once
Delia left, I found Drew still gazing at me intently as he lay on the bed.

He
sat up. Then rubbed the back of his neck. “You coming back?”

I
shook my head. I felt uncomfortable and shy and beyond guilty. Before the interruption
I’d been under a magical spell, nothing but joyful at his miraculous revelation
that he had been thinking about me. And I’d been breathless and enraptured to hear
anything else he had to reveal. But the spell had (thankfully) been broken by
Delia’s innocent intrusion, and now I felt out of sorts and beyond guilty that
I had been so thrilled by his words and hungry stare.

 
“I should be going,” I choked out.

“No,”
he said, groaning in dismay. “Stay a second, Brooke. Please. I want to talk to
you.”

“Please
don’t,” I begged. “I need to go home.”

He
winced.

Slowly
he tilted his head. “Because of what I said?”

He
asked it as though he was trying to understand the sudden change in my
behavior, since a moment ago I had been sitting with him, calmly carrying on a
conversation like a normal human being, yet now I was an agitated lunatic,
clawing at the door.

“Well,
yeah … I guess. Please, can we go?” I implored with my back to the door, but my
hand sweating on the knob.

“Brooke,
I didn’t mean to scare you, or make you uncomfortable.”

“I
know that,” I said honestly. “Can we PLEASE go?”

He
squeezed his eyes shut, then exhaled with resign. “Okay.”

He
gave me another tiny glance, then with another sigh, he grabbed his car keys.

I
had his bedroom door yanked open and was out it in record speed.

The
house was dark and quiet. Everyone had gone to bed. We walked out to his car in
awkward silence and he gently opened the car door for me, his hungry eyes
intently on me, but not saying a word.

When
we got to my house I was ready to spring out of his car, but he gently reminded
me to take his Spanish notes. He silently handed them across the seat to me.

“Thanks,”
I whispered.

“You
haven’t actually looked at me since our kiss on the bus—well,
almost
kiss.”

My
face flushed. “Right.”

He
tilted his head. “We’re going to have to talk about it sometime, Brooke.”

“No,
actually we don’t have to talk about it—ever.”

 
I quickly shut the car door, then ran to
my house without looking back.

CHAPTER 8

I should have mentioned Laurie to him. I
should have flat-out called him out on it—he has a girlfriend, so he had
no right to be looking at me like that.

Of
course all that seemed obvious to me—now. Now that I was away from hot dreamy
Drew. Away from his intoxicating scent and stare. But at the time, when I was
with him, having him gaze at me the way he kept doing, I could barely breathe,
let alone think straight.

But
now it seemed obvious—I should have called him out. Laurie’s my friend …
and his
girlfriend
. There was no need
for us to have discussions about “thinking” about each other. We just shouldn’t
be doing it.

I
rolled over in my bed, wishing so bad I could get his stare out of my head, and
the way he had looked and sounded when he told me, “I’ve been thinking a lot
about you Brooke.”

When
I finally slept, I dreamed about being on the bus with him, how it felt to
wake-up kissing him. The dream was steamy, steamy,
STEAMY
—and sure didn’t help me get over him.

Sadly,
quite the opposite.

CHAPTER 9

The
rest of the week was really hard for me. The year before I loved to be around
Drew as much as possible. We laughed, and talked and had fun. But these days I
felt really uncomfortable around him—especially since Laurie was always
with him, or
tried
to be with him
anyway, but he usually found excuses to avoid her. Meanwhile, I tried to find
excuses to avoid
him
.

It
was awkward!

I
didn’t actually directly talk to Drew after that night at his house, but I’d
often catch his eyes on me—even when Laurie was gabbing away to him,
trying her sultry best to keep his attention.

Then
Thursday (Band-boy) Ethan invited me to go out to lunch with him. My heart
jolted a little, since normally we ate in the band room with some of our fellow
band-mates. It had been comfortable, an easy way to avoid the cafeteria where
I’d be forced to eat with Laurie and Drew and our usual band of
friends—cheerleaders and football players—Laurie’s friends. Not
really mine. But I’d grown accustom to being with them since Rachel died.

“Um,
I have to stick around school to make up a test,” I told Ethan quickly. It
wasn’t exactly a lie. Not exactly. Though I’d been planning to make up the test
after school, not during lunch. But you never know … maybe I’d take it during
lunch instead.

The
thing was, I’d feel awkward being with Ethan alone. I just would. But I didn’t
know how to explain it to him, and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, especially
because he’d been being so nice to me and I sort of depended on him as a
hang-out friend at school. But I kind of got the feeling he wouldn’t want to
hear that.

“Okay,
some other time,” Ethan said questioningly.

“Right.
Definitely.”

Well,
maybe.

Then
I hurried away from him. I scurried to the cafeteria, having no clue what I was
actually doing—I mean, about Ethan. I decided I’d give him my cookie from
lunch. He liked the school’s cookies, and I liked being his friend, so yeah,
I’d give him the cookie. And I’d help him with his math—the boy needed
help. I decided I’d be extra nice to him—since I didn’t want to date him.
Well, I didn’t think I did.

While
I sat eating in the cafeteria, pondering this stuff that I didn’t used to have
to ponder, I heard Laurie ask Drew pouty-like, “You seem distracted. What are
you thinking about?”

Drew’s
eyes cut to me really quick. When I dared peek at him he raised his eyebrows at
me pointedly. My heart leapt to my throat. He looked away really quick. “I
don’t know, I guess I
am
distracted.
I need to go, Laurie—the coach wanted me to do extra laps. Thanks for the
cookies—and sweet note.”

She
went to kiss him seductively on the lips, but he kind of dodged it and gave her
a quick, awkward kiss on the forehead. “See ya later.”

Then
he hurried out of the cafeteria.

“See?”
she moaned confidential-like to me, close to tears. “He’s changed.”

My
mouth felt like it was full of sawdust. I didn’t know what to say. She seemed
so hurt, and this year she was actually trying hard to be the perfect
girlfriend—not that she didn’t always bake Drew treats and write him
notes and stuff like that, she always did—but she used to get mad at
everything
he did, and was unreasonable,
and broke up with him all the time and I didn’t ever get why he put up with
her. But now—now it was the other way around. It didn’t seem she could
please him. It was like he was over her, and even though he was still “sticking
it out” with her or whatever, his heart wasn’t in it anymore. But still, she
was desperately clinging to him. Only it seemed too late. His heart had gotten
over her.

“Drew’s
been like that since the end of last year,” Laurie confided in me once everyone
else around us was gone.

I
knew she had been embarrassed about the kiss-thing. How he’d kind of blew her
off, and dodged her attempt to have some good-bye lip action. But of course she
had acted like she hadn’t noticed—when everyone else was around. I was
the only one she confided in. I used to feel slightly honored. Now I felt
horrible. And guilty. And sorry for her. Which was beyond weird—feeling
sorry for Laurie. I mean, the girl had it all—she was gorgeous, rich and
popular. Plus she had Drew … well she
used
to have Drew. He used to be crazy for her. However, sadly for her, that seemed
to be over now. I mean, well, he was kissing girls on buses … and staring at
them longingly … and avoiding
her
kiss like she had cooties. Man, that had to hurt.

I
bit my lip, then tried to be supportive. “Well, maybe he just has a lot on his
mind. I mean, with football and wanting to be a doctor—”

Tears
formed in Laurie’s and she interrupted my lame attempt to make her feel better.
“He wants to break up with me—I know he does.”

I
bit my lip again, not knowing what to say, since yeah, it seemed like he did
want to, kind of bad.

Finally
I shrugged, “Well if he did—I mean, if he wanted to—why wouldn’t he
just do it?”

Though
I knew why. It’s hard to break up with someone that you used to love with all
your heart—and who’s clinging to you, and baking you treats, and kissing
you seductively—and trying desperately to keep you.

“He
did
break up with me!” she sobbed.
“All summer.”

My
heart fell. “… oh.”

It
used to be her—she was the one that would always break-up. Hearing that
it was him doing it this summer—whoa. It was kind of shocking.

I
swallowed. “Well, you’re together now.”

She
wiped away another tear. “But he doesn’t want to be—obviously.”

The
bell rang.

Talk
about saved by the bell!

“Laurie,
you’re beautiful,” I told her gently. “You have lots of guys drooling after
you. Drew isn’t the only guy out there.”

“He
is to me,” she sobbed.

Okay,
I got that. What she was saying. Obviously. I mean, you know, since that’s the
way
I
felt about him too, so of
course I got it. But for her it was even stronger, since he had been hers for
so long now.

But
I knew Laurie, so I knew how she really felt about the situation, deep down.
Drew was our school’s football star and class president. She was used to
that—dating the school’s star. No other guy could compete with Drew that
way, not even close. He was campus royalty. Any other guy would be a step down.

Laurie
couldn’t bear that—dating someone “normal.”

She
needed to be queen.

That
was something that bugged me about her. Big time, actually. Yet right now all I
could do was feel sorry for her. She loved Drew. Her feelings and reasons for
loving him might be shallow—but still, she loved him, dearly, and she was
hurting.

…
and he sucked for kissing another girl!

CHAPTER 10

Friday
morning I had to be to school early. Somehow the
band
got elected to set up for the sports banquet being held that
night. Ethan Philips and I worked on setting up the folding chairs together.

Drew
was there, doing something. I’m not sure what. He was up on the stage talking
with his coach, both of them using a lot of hand gestures. I think probably they
were doing a run down of the night’s events, but I don’t
really
know. All I know for sure is that Drew was up on the stage,
and he kept staring down at Ethan and me while we worked. He stared a
lot
. Like, the whole time.

He
even squinted his eyes, sometimes, like he was jealous or disapproving of Ethan
getting so close to me. But other times he looked, well, hungry. For me. So, of
course I was dizzy and breathless and brain-dead and unable to really focus on
a word Ethan was saying—well, until he said:

“I
was wondering if maybe you’d like to do something together tonight—just
me and you.”

I
froze. And blinked.

Thank
goodness the bell rang just then because it gave me a moment to clear my brain
from Drew’s stare and focus on Ethan’s alarming words.

“Um,
I can’t,” I answered.

It
was the truth, not a lie, so that was good. But I wouldn’t have gone anyway …
well, I don’t think I would have. I mean, I couldn’t even focus on a word the
guy said. Of course that had to do with Drew’s dreamy eyes on me, but whatever.
I couldn’t go anyway, because of this, what I quickly told him—“I have to
babysit tonight.”

Then
I told him over my shoulder as I quickly scurried away from him, “Sorry! See ya
at lunch—in the band room—with everyone.”

As
I zipped/escaped out of the banquet room, my heart pounded wild (though mostly
still from Drew’s stare—but also Ethan’s unexpected suggestion). I
wondered uncomfortably if Ethan was going to start doing that a lot
now—asking me out. All last week I had wondered how I’d feel about it if
he did. To tell you the truth, I was a little shocked to discover I hoped he
wouldn’t do it again. Ever. But hey, I was also shocked by Drew’s attentive
stare.

I’m
easily shocked, apparently.

Then
again, Ethan hadn’t noticed me all last year, and Drew had a girlfriend.

So,
actually those events were pretty shocking … right?

And
neither one of them were good.

Well,
not to me.