Hearts Ablaze (Hearts On Fire Series) (15 page)

“Yeah, that was what, when I was nine or ten? He was so mad! He made me promise that I wouldn’t tell you, because he didn’t want Christmas to be ruined.”

Laughing, Aubrey looks over at me as she takes a sip of her lemonade. “Dad was the best.”

A little while later, Sharon comes downstairs, wearing an old sweatshirt and a pair of sleep pants. She heads over to the coffee pot and, after brewing a mug, joins us in the dining room. I immediately stand and give her a hug. She holds onto me tightly, then lets go. I tell her how sorry I am and to let me know if I can do anything for her. She pats me on the shoulder and gives Aubrey a hug.

“Mom, Noah got sandwiches for lunch. Do you want me to fix you a plate?” she asks, letting go of her mom.

“Sure, honey. Thank you.” Sharon sits next to Landon, who leans over and kisses her on the cheek. She smiles at him then turns to look at the table.

“So, what else do we have to do?” She picks up one of the pieces of paper and scans it.

“Well, we have a memorial service set up for Thursday from noon to two at the funeral home downtown. We just need to submit the obituary to them by this afternoon. Aubs and I haven’t written anything yet. We figured we’d wait so you could help us.”

Sharon has tears in her eyes while she listens to Landon, but she gives him a small smile.

“Yeah, that was nice of you guys. We can get something written up after I eat. Those pills really knocked me out last night.”

“Yeah, the doctor told me that. I was really worried about you, Mom. You were a zombie last night, and I didn’t know what to do.” Landon looks a little worried. I’m not understanding why he feels guilty, but I’m also not the one who lost their father.

“Don’t feel bad, Landon. You didn’t force them down my throat. You were just taking care of me. You’re a good son, sweetheart.”

I feel like I’m intruding on this moment, so I excuse myself to see if Aubrey needs any help in the kitchen. She’s standing at the counter, putting a sandwich on a plate next to a cut-up apple.

“Need any help?” I walk over to her and place my hands on her shoulders.

Shaking her head, she leans back and rests her head against my chest. “Nope, I’m good, but thanks.”

“Your mom seems to be doing better.”

“She does, doesn’t she? I’m glad. I know it’s gonna be hard for a while, but I don’t want to see her drown in her grief. Dad and I had a nice talk right before he passed and I think that’s what’s helping me accept this all.”

Aubrey picks the plate up and carries it in to her mom, coming back into the kitchen a minute later and holding her hand out to me. I take it and follow her out onto the back deck. We descend the stairs and she takes me down to the pond behind their house. I came out here one day with Mike and he showed me where he liked to relax. It’s beautiful down here, so quiet and peaceful. They have a small dock set up at the edge of the property that goes out into the pond. I follow her down it and we both take a seat at the end, our feet dangling over the edge. I hold her hand in mine tightly and kiss her knuckles.

“I love it down here. This was Dad’s place. Whenever Landon or I had a bad day, or something was bothering us, he would bring us down here and we would just sit together. Sometimes we’d talk about what was upsetting us, and other times we would just sit in silence. We always knew he was there for us, no matter how much we messed up or how much we thought we let him down. He was always on our side.” I can hear her voice cracking and I sit closer to her. She leans her head down on my shoulder and continues.

“Before he died, he told me that I needed to be with you. He said we remind him a lot of him and Mom. He knew I would be taken care of when he was gone. He told me that Landon and I were his greatest joys in life and that he would always be with me. I think that helped me, you know. Because as brokenhearted as I was, my father was okay with his time being cut short. He had accepted it. And I knew in that moment that I had to accept it as well. I could either spend all my remaining time angry that he was being taken from me, or I could embrace my memories of him. I could hold onto all the good times—the laughter, the love, and the sadness. And that’s what I want to do, Noah. I can’t change my father dying, but I can continue to live.”

She looks up at me with tears in her eyes and smiles. “I love you.”

I can’t help but return her smile and give her a gentle kiss. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of her telling me that.

“I love you too, babe.”

She puts her head back on my shoulder and together we sit and enjoy the silence, swinging our legs back and forth.

CHAPTER 21

AUBREY

Mom decided to help us write out the obituary, so Landon is on his way to the funeral home to drop it off. Noah and I sit with her as we go over all the arrangements again. After the service, we’re going to come back here and spread Dad’s ashes. Just the four of us. Noah’s a part of this family, and I’m going to do my best to make sure he stays.

I had talked to Kenni earlier, and she offered to come over and help. I thanked her, but declined; I just wanted to spend some time with my family, and although Kenni is family I want to be selfish and not share Mom and Landon with her.

Once Landon gets back from the funeral home, he asks if he can speak to me alone. I follow him onto the back deck and we sit in the chairs next to each other.

“We have to decide if we’re going to have anybody speak about Dad. They want to print the program tonight, and I said I’d send an e-mail with what we wanted to do.”

I swallow the lump in my throat, knowing he’s asking me if I’m comfortable with saying something. I bite my bottom lip as I think about what I should do.

“You don’t have to, Aubs. Dad would understand if it’s too hard.”

I nod, but I know I need to. Dad always counted on me to step up and be strong, so that’s what I’m going to do. It’ll be hard, but I want to do this.

“No, I’ll do it, Landon. I want to do this. I want people to know how much I loved him. I don’t want someone who didn’t even know him to give a speech about him.” I give him a smile and reach out to hug him.

“I’m proud of you, sis.”

I squeeze him, then let go and stand up. We go back inside and I head over to Noah.

“I’m exhausted, Noah. Are you ready to go?” He nods and my mom comes over to give me a tight hug. “Is that okay, Mom?”

“That’s fine, Aubrey. I’m thinking about heading to bed early anyway. I know I slept most of the day, but I’m just still so tired.” She leans over to give Noah a kiss on the cheek, and then heads upstairs. I give Landon another hug, then step into the living room to grab my purse before Noah and I leave. He doesn’t say anything on the drive back home, just leaves his hand on my thigh, his thumb brushing back and forth.

When we get to his house, he ushers me inside, locks the front door, and goes into the bedroom. I look up at the clock next to his front door and see that it’s only five fifteen. I kick my shoes off and drop my purse onto the couch.

“You want to order a pizza for dinner?” he calls to me from the bedroom.

“Yeah, sure, sounds good.”

He comes walking out of his room in a pair of sweats and an old T-shirt. Sitting on the couch, he props his feet up on the table, grabs his cell, and starts scrolling through an online menu to the local pizza place. While he’s placing the order, I head into the bedroom to get changed. Over the last couple months, I’ve left some of my clothes here, so I grab a pair of my cotton shorts and an old college tee. I throw my hair into bun as best I can then walk back into the living room.

Noah has the TV turned on to ESPN and is watching the highlights from today’s game. He looks up when I approach. “Should be here in about twenty-five minutes.”

“Sounds good.” I sit and lean in to him. He wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me in close to him. We watch the final recap of the game then switch it to some crime drama. I don’t remember the name of it, but it’s Noah’s favorite show. The pizza arrives a little later and after paying for it, he sets it on the coffee table. I get some plates and napkins, as well as a couple bottles of water, and carry it all back into the living room. He places a couple slices of pizza on our plates then hands one to me.

We settle down with our dinner and finish the show. Once it’s over and we’re both stuffed, he grabs the dishes and trash and carries them into the kitchen. As I wait for him to return, I can feel my eyelids getting heavy; this has been one hell of a day, and I’m exhausted. I grab my phone and decide to head into the bedroom, placing it on the nightstand then crawling into bed. I curl up and close my eyes, but my mind is racing. I can’t keep the tears at bay when I think about what I’m supposed to say in my eulogy and I place my hand over my mouth, my body starting to shake as I cry. I’m trying so hard to be strong, but it’s really hard; I feel like my heart is broken into a thousand pieces.

The bed dips behind me and then Noah presses himself against me, pulling me into his arms. He places a kiss to the crook of my neck and leaves his face there.

“I love you so much, Aubrey. Everything’s gonna be okay. We’ll get through this, baby.”

He continues to whisper reassurances in my ear and eventually my tears lessen. Once I’ve calmed down, I roll over so I can look at him. Noah brushes the hair out of my face and his hand lingers on my cheek. I reach up and run my fingers lightly over his cheek, feeling his stubble against my skin.

“I love you, Noah.”

He leans down and kisses me, then pulls my head to his chest. And as I lie there listening to the steady beat of his heart, I surrender to my exhaustion and fall asleep.

***

I wake up early the next morning with Noah still holding me. My head is resting on his arm, the other one wrapped tightly around my waist. I can hear his quiet snores, so I carefully move off the bed without waking him and pad out to the kitchen to make myself some coffee and talk to Kenni. As I wait for it to brew, I send her a quick text, letting her know Dad’s service is Thursday.

Kennedy: Hey, girl. I’ll be there. Gray too. Can I do anything to help you?

Aubrey: I’m gonna need to go shopping today for an outfit. Wanna come with me? I’m going to have Noah bring me home in a couple hours. Will you be around?

My coffee is ready so I quickly add some cream and sugar, blowing on it while I read her response.

Kennedy: Yeah, we’ll be here. See you in a bit.

It registers to me that she said ‘we,’ but I don’t think anything of it, taking my cup of coffee onto the back deck. I sit in one of Noah’s Adirondack chairs and sip the warm liquid. The sky is blue without a cloud in the sky, and I can’t help but think my dad has something to do with it. Heaven got a whole lot brighter the day they brought him up there.

Noah steps outside and on to the deck just as I finish my coffee. “Morning, baby. How long have you been up?” He sits next to me, leaning over to kiss me. I give him a bright smile.

“Not too long. I let Kenni know about Dad’s service on Thursday. I’m gonna go out with her today to find an outfit. We’ll probably hit the mall.”

“You want me to tag along? I don’t mind.” He reaches out to take my hand and places a kiss to my knuckles.

“Nah, it’s okay. Apparently, Grayson is over there, so maybe you guys can find something to do while we’re out. Plus, I never even asked. Didn’t you have a shift today?”

“No, I called my chief while you were in the hospital with your dad and had him put me on leave until Monday. I wanted to make sure I was around. Grayson took the time off too.” It dawns on me that he did that even after I broke up with him. This guy is amazing.

“But I broke up with you, Noah. Why would you still take that time off?”

He just laughs. “If you thought you were getting away that easily then you’re nuts. Did you really think I was just going to let you go, Aubrey? You are mine, baby. All mine. Forever.”

I can feel the butterflies again, and I can’t help but laugh at him. “Awfully sure of yourself, huh?”

“You know it, babe.” Noah stands and offers his hand, which I take. We go inside and I rinse my coffee cup, placing it in the dishwasher.

“So, when do we need to go to your place? Are you meeting Kennedy there?”

“Yeah, I told her we’d be over in a little bit. I guess Grayson is already there. Maybe they finally decided to stop being idiots and get together.”

Noah follows me into his bedroom, and we both get dressed.

“Or they just decided to finally hook up. I tried to talk to him about it once, and he told me that it was Kenni who was giving the cold shoulder.” He pulls on a green shirt, a pair of tight jeans, and his favorite Pumas. I’m back in what I wore yesterday, and quickly ready to go.

Once we get back to my apartment, I send Kenni a quick text; the last thing I need to walk in on is my best friend getting banged by my boyfriend’s best friend. Getting the go-ahead, we head up to the apartment. We walk in to Kenni and Grayson eating at the breakfast bar in the kitchen. Fully clothed.
Thank you, God.

“Hey, guys! There’s extra food on the stove if you want it.” Kenni points to the pan, which Noah immediately goes over to. He fixes a plate of the eggs and sausage, then sits next to Kenni.

“So, Kenni, I thought we could head over to the mall, try out Express for some clothes. I need to get some photos printed too, so probably the drugstore next to the mall.”

“Yeah, sounds good. How are your mom and Landon doing?” she asks as she takes a bite of her food.

“They’re doing okay. Mom has been a lot better than I expected. Landon is her rock right now. He’s holding us all together, and I’m really grateful for that. Thursday will be hard, but he’s in a better place so I think that’s what’s keeping us sane. He was in so much pain in the end.” I blink the tears away when I feel them burn.

She reaches across the counter and gives my hand a squeeze. “Let me get dressed and we can head out.” She stands from her stool and heads off into her bedroom.

“So, what do you wanna do today, Gray? Maybe head to the batting cages?” Noah asks.

“Yeah, sounds good, man. I just gotta swing by my place and change my clothes.” Grayson stands and sticks his plate in the sink. “Let’s go.”

Noah takes his dish to the sink and gives me a kiss. “Call me when you guys are done, babe. We can all meet up for lunch or something.”

I wind my arms around his neck and give him a hug. “Okay. I love you.”

He smiles. “Love you too, baby. See ya later!”

Grayson waves and they leave the apartment. Kenni comes out of her bedroom a few minutes later, ready to go.

“Do you want to drive or should I?” she asks, pulling her long hair into a ponytail.

“I’ll drive. The Chase Rice CD is in my car, after all.” I wink at her and grab my keys.

“Oh! Well, in that case, we are definitely taking your car!” We’re both laughing as we lock the door and go down the stairs. Once we get in my car, I open all the windows and blast the music; it’s a gorgeous day outside, and I plan to take advantage of it.

Luckily, the mall isn’t too busy, seeing it’s only been open for about an hour. We head into Express and start going through the racks. I have about four dresses slung over my arm and a couple boxes of shoes when I head to the dressing rooms. Kenni is right behind me with about three times the amount of stuff I have, and we choose dressing rooms next to each other. I start with a knee-length black dress, and immediately hate it. Having the same problem with the next two. I pick up the last one I grabbed, a charcoal gray dress. It has short sleeves and a drape neckline, and ends just above my knee. I put it on and immediately love it. Plus, the pair of black wedge sandals I picked out go perfectly with the dress.

“Hey, Kenni, I’m all set. How are you doing?” I place the dress back on the hanger and the shoes in the box. Throwing my clothes back on, I step out of the dressing room.

“I’m good, I just need to take these back out.” Kenni starts flinging dresses over the top of the door, making a pile. I grab them for her and stick them on the discard rack next to us. She comes out with a dark blue dress in her hands and a pair of nude heels.

“That didn’t take long. Let’s head to the drugstore so you can print your photos. What do you need them for?” We head over to the cashier and wait in line.

“I’m gonna make some picture boards to place around the funeral home. Of Dad and us, family and friends. Mom gave me a flash drive that she put all the photos she wanted to use on.”

“Oh, that’s a neat idea!”

Once we’ve paid, I check the time on my phone—we’re in and out of the mall in under an hour.

We stop at my car to drop off the bags then walk to the drugstore. Finding a photo kiosk, I load the flash drive. Mom decided on about a hundred photos, so I quickly hit print and wait for them to come out. Kenni runs to the other side of the store to grab poster boards and glue. It takes about twenty minutes for all the pictures to be done; by the time we’re finished and heading back to the car, it’s just after noon.

“I’m starving. Let’s get something to eat,” Kenni announces as she gets in the car.

“Sounds good. I’m hungry too. I should text Noah and find out where they are.” I turn my car on and open all the windows. Plugging my phone into the charger, I pull up my messages and ask Noah about lunch, agreeing to meet at a newer restaurant a few miles away. It doesn’t take us long to get there, and when we do I see his truck already in the parking lot, the guys waiting inside. We get out of the car and they do the same, Noah coming over to greet me with a kiss.

“How’d you guys do?” he asks.

“Good. Found a nice outfit, and we got the pictures printed . What did you guys do?”

He takes my hand as we all walk inside. “Went over to the batting cages. Just kinda hung out waiting for you guys.” The hostess brings us to our table and I take a seat next to Noah. We decide to skip an appetizer and we all order burgers. The guys get beers and Kenni and I stick with water. Once we finish our food, we take care of the check and head out.