Heaven Sent (17 page)

“No, he wasn’t feeling well.”

“I’m not an idiot. I can tell you

guys aren’t a couple by the way you act

everyday around him, so why don’t you

tell me why you ripped my brother’s

fucking heart out?”

“You don’t know what you’re

talking about and you’d never understand

if I told you.”

“Why don’t you try me?” I

contemplate my response. Holden

knows. He can tell that I’m not happy. I

miss Taron with a fierceness, and it’s a

daily struggle to get out of bed. I can’t

tell him about the baby, but I think he’ll

understand me walking away from Taron

so that he wouldn’t walk away from the

band.

“I never meant to hurt Taron. I

was dragging him down, and I couldn’t

live with myself if he would’ve walked

away from everything they’ve worked so

hard for. His head wasn’t focused on the

tour. I knew I’d be safe with Aiden.” I

stop talking when Taron’s older brother

looks at me with an almost identical look

to the one that I’ve seen many times. He

shoves his hands through his short hair in

frustration.

“Shit, Ivy. Why are you torturing

yourself? I can tell you aren’t into

cowboy.”

“This isn’t about me, Holden. I

won’t drag him down with my drama

only to have him resent me in the future

for being the reason his life didn’t turn

out like he thought it would.”

“I didn’t see you doing this. This

is completely selfless, and now I can’t

let my brother let you get away.”

“You have no choice. I’m not

going back to him. He’s better off

without me.” I’m instantly saddened that

our baby will never know her father. I

turn quickly to reach for a glass hoping

he missed the look on my face. I’ve

never been able to hide my feelings. My

face tells everything that I’m feeling in

that moment. That’s why I’ve avoided

the mirror at all costs lately. I can’t look

at the shell of a woman. If I avoid the

mirror, then I can forget what she looks

like. I can be strong and focus on

healing.

“You can’t push him away when

he loves you like this.”

“Love? Taron doesn’t love

anyone but himself.”

“Haha. Yes, and you,” he says

through deep laughter.

“I care a lot for your brother,

which is why I can’t drag him down.”

“You should let him decide

whether you’re dragging him down.” I

look over at him and smile.

“Look

at

you,

getting

all

romantic.”

“Just calling it like I see it.” I let

him get the last word in on the

conversation, but leave the room with no

intention of listening to him. He’s just

watching out for his brother. If he only

knew about the baby, he’d probably tie

me up and hand-deliver me to Taron.

I hope Dylan is found soon, so I

can move on without Holden watching

over me. Our plan is to leave in the

morning for a quick flight into New York

and back the next day. Eaven is flying

me in so I can help her pick out her

wedding dress. She’s so excited, and I

miss her. We talk everyday, but the fact

that I haven’t told her about the baby is

killing me inside. I know she’ll be hurt

that I’m holding back that kind of

information, but I need to wait until I

have a plan. A plan that is better than

letting a band fall apart because I need

rescued yet again.

I push Eaven back daily when she

says she wants to visit me at the cabin.

I’d love to see her and hear more about

her experiences, but I need to do this for

myself. She’s always been there for me.

Her friendship means more to me than

anything

and she’s always been my

rock. Her family took me in during a

time that I had no one else. It’s time I

fight for myself and come up with a plan

to stand independently.

I sit and submit a few of my photos

to a site that helps photographers get

l i nked to magazines and models who

might be interested in working with

them. Before I finish loading all of the

pictures I get a message from a magazine

wanting my close up of Taron that I

submitted. I don’t respond yet because I

can’t decide if I want to introduce myself

into the professional world as a

photographer of rock. I’m going to talk

t o Eaven tomorrow and see what she

thinks since this is a passion we have

together.

I start to sort more pictures and

another message comes through. An

author wants one of my pictures as a

cover to her novel. This makes me

smile. I send her a quick reply in hopes

to be able to help her. She’s looking for

a hot guy in a band. I’m pretty sure that

I’ve got that covered.

I begin to scan through my pictures

and I’m drawn back to a time where life

was simple. I wasn’t running from a

psycho. My heart wasn’t completely

wrapped around a guy I can’t be with,

and I definitely wasn’t carrying his

baby. I scroll through the shots of one of

his last concerts at home before my

nightmares began. I come across a shot

that has me pause. I lock eyes with the

sexiest man alive and feel his love,

desire, and energy straight through to my

core. Tears fill my eyes as I force

myself to close the laptop.

He pulls at me even half-way

across the country. I’ve held my phone

in my hands every single day and talked

myself out of just dialing his number.

Then I remember why I can’t call him. I

can’t hear his voice again, because it

would be so easy to forget why I’m

fighting to keep him away.

Taron

Today we play at the Fillmore in

Detroit. This show is exclusively Rebel

Walking and I am ready to break out of

this funk that I’ve been in. I’ve been

talking with a fan girl named Kylee. She

is from Detroit and I plan to hook up

with her after the show. She seems

feisty and reminds me a lot of Ivy. It’s

probably not the best way to get over

her, but I’m ready for a little spice and

so far all of the other girls have bored

the fuck out of me. I haven’t hooked up

since Ivy left a couple of weeks ago.

This girl seems like she could be real

entertaining and I look forward to

hanging with her after the concert.

I notice her in one of the front row

seats that I sent her VIP tickets for. Her

halter top and short skirt catches my eye

and I start to look forward to the after

party where she and I will get to hook

up.

I send a security officer to escort

them back to me once the show is over.

I’m talking with everyone when Dave

brings her in.

Shit, she is hot. Her body is

similar to Ivy’s, but she has straight,

reddish colored hair. One of the first

things that I notice about her is her green

eyes, but it’s her blatant confidence that

has my dick rising to the occasion. I

stand to greet her, but I find myself being

pulled by the hand out of the room by

this female. This is hot, but damn it

reminds me of Ivy. Is that why I’m into

her? I don’t care at this point what it is

that’s doing it for me. I’m just eager to

get it done. I change our direction when

she turns us down the wrong hall. I

know where we need to be. I already

made sure there was a place that I could

slip away to with her.

I open the door to the small back

room and we are instantly connected to

each other. Our lips and tongues are

fighting for control and I’m good until

she nibbles my bottom lip, just like Ivy

always did. I pull back from her face

and turn to walk away. “Fuck! I can’t

get her out of my head!” I start to pace

and begin to rant about how she has

fucked up my life and that I need to get

over it when Kylee grabs my arm

stopping me in my tracks.

“Who has you all twisted?

Damn.”

“It’s just a girl that has fucked me

over and I can’t take anymore of the

me mo r i e s that

pop

up.

She’s

everywhere, except in my fucking arms.

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought you

back here.”

“Don’t be sorry. I wanted to meet

you, and I don’t mind listening to you

and your girl problems.”

“Huh!

Problems!

That’s

hilarious. She has me so messed up that

I can’t even see straight. My life is just

a daily boring routine since she left. It

pisses me off that I can’t seem to get

over her.”

“You should go find her.”

“I know where she is, but she

doesn’t want to see me.”

“You so sure about that? If this

girl tied you up this tight, she must feel

something for you, or she is a huge bitch

for leaving you. Did you cheat on her?”

“I didn’t even consider another

girl when she was with me. Hell I can’t

even get with a girl since she left me.

Fuck my life.”

“Like I said, you need to go find

her. Life is too short not to go after what

you want in life. You have to fight for

her if she means this much to you.”

“Yea, she is going to be in New

York City tomorrow at the same time

that we are there. Maybe I need to go

see her. Kylee, I’m sorry that you had to

deal with my moodiness. I really didn’t

mean for this to play out like this.”

“It’s all good! I got to make out

with a rock star. You can message me

anytime you need to talk. I’m just happy

to get to see you. Your band is really

amazing and you're kind of cool too!"

“Well, thanks. I’ll make sure

security gets you home safely.” I lean

over and give this perfect piece of ass a

hug goodbye. I don’t regret pulling away

from her before it went anywhere.

Maybe tomorrow I can get through to Ivy

and see if she has really moved on.

We hit New York and the rush of

playing here has everyone else pumped.

It’s just another show for me. This is

just another day that I’ll do the rocker

thing without the rocker sex.

Holden sent a text saying he’s

bringing her to New York today for

some girlie shit. My plan is to see her. I

want to see her face and then I’ll know if

she’s happy. Maybe then I can get her

out of my head and she can quit cock

blocking me every night.

We are setting up for tonight’s

show and my mind keeps drifting to her.

I pull out my phone and scroll to her

picture. The picture that has haunted me

every fucking day. What I would give to

be back in that moment in time. I would

do so many things differently.

Talon walks up behind me and

catches a glimpse of the picture. “Go

see her, man.”

“I’m thinking about it.”

“Ev headed out about thirty

minutes ago. I have security with her, so

I can get you an address.”

“Yea, get me the address.” He

smiles a huge grin and pulls out his

phone in the process of sending the text

he starts to harass me. “To use your own

words against you, it’s nice to see you

pussy whipped for a change.”

“Shut the fuck up. I’m not

whipped.”

“You are! Nothing wrong with it.

I wouldn’t change it for the world. I

love when Ev pussy whips me.”

It’s awesome that Talon is so

happy. To see him smile again is such a

relief. He deserves to find someone as

great as Ev. She pulled him out of his

personal hell and continues to build him

up everyday. I’m fucking jealous of their

connection, but happy for them.

“She’d kick your ass if she heard

you say that.”