Hell's Phoenix (31 page)

“Why don’t you trust yourself to drink with me?”

Because we want you worse than all the sugar in the world
. The matter-of-fact tone Lynx used surprised her.

Madison shrugged, rose from her seat. “I have something else you might enjoy better than the whiskey.”

We want him, but we’ll let him go
. They agreed on that one. One thing she’d learned in Hell, Nix would stay in danger so long as he remained in her presence.

She could feel Nix watching her as she walked to the cabinet and dug out the bottle of Herradura Seleccion Suprema she’d bought for him a couple of days before entering Hell. She’d hid it from Petra, the heavy drinker in the house, and shared its location with only Zen and Amos.

Bottle in hand, she grabbed a glass from another cabinet and strode back to him. “Here.”

Arm outstretched, she waited for him to accept the liquor and goblet. He might have drunk Jack Daniels straight from the container, but the design of this liquor bottle wouldn’t afford him the luxury.

“For you, to celebrate defeating Hell,” she said at his hesitation to accept the spirit. “I know it’s not whiskey, but you enjoyed the tequila years ago, and I figured you’d want something to commemorate your exit.”

She could use a big fucking drink herself.

Drink him
, her demon purred in her head. Drink him down like the fine bottle of tequila you’re handing him.

A hand emerged from his jean pocket and his fingers curled around the bottle. She suspected he read the label, but couldn’t be certain without looking at his face. How could she look at him without her face flaming in humiliation over all the intimacies that transpired in Hell? God, what humiliation! The demon scratched at the thin surface of her control, begging for freedom to play with him. Looking at him would make that compulsion worse.

Madison didn’t want to know what he thought when he looked at her. Monster? Whore? None of the things she ever wanted to become, but had. And she could barely face her reflection in the mirror without cringing.

“Mads?”

“Hmmm?” She rearranged the first aid supplies, folded back the long sleeves so her shirt wouldn’t get in the way while she cleaned the wound. After leaving Hell, she couldn’t get warm.

“Look at me.”

Her hands froze right along with her brain. The request was too much. She swallowed, calmed her breathing and said, “Not tonight, Nix. I don’t want to—”

The bottle hit the table, more violent than practical, startling her words to an abrupt halt. The liquor sloshed. Good thing the lid was still in place.

She gasped as his fingers dug in her hair and forced her to face him. Green eyes walloped her with a combination of anger, frustration, and hurt. The thumb of his other hand traced her jaw from ear to chin.

“Why don’t you trust yourself?” The way he watched her just then, no sane woman would. Breathing in his exhilarating pheromones was more intoxicating than liquor. “And why won’t you look at me? We’ve been through too much together for this…this….”

Belly trembling and succubus inching forth to claim its newest victim, she closed her eyes and licked her lips. She confessed before he could find the final word he needed, “I’m afraid I’ll go demon.” She gave a small, easy shrug to withdraw from his grasp. Taking the hint, his hands fell away, allowing her to escape his presence. “I came for sugar, not just the first aid supplies.” She motioned to the ice cream.

“Sugar?”

Madison opened her eyes and met his potent gaze. She grew antsy beneath his silent regard. “Yes, sugar to tame the demon you and Micah fed.” She cleared her throat. “And looking at you…I can’t help but remember all the other…activities that transpired in Hell.” Couldn’t she just keep her big mouth shut?

“You’re embarrassed?”

If nothing else, she owed him honesty. “Humiliated would be a better word.”

Nix flinched as if she’d struck him. “I’m sorry, Mads—”

“Don’t.” She made a slashing motion with her hand. “You weren’t yourself.”

“What if I told you I don’t remember all of it?”

“I’d say you’re lying.”

He ran his palm over his mouth. She noticed he didn’t deny that he remembered. “Let me heal your wound, Mads.”

“No.” She shook her head. Mutiny tightened his jaw and she blockaded any argument he might sow. “I accepted Micah’s sigil. I should live with the reminder of what I allowed myself to become.”

“What you became for me.”

“No. My fate was unavoidable.” Of that fact she’d grown certain. Maybe she wouldn’t have turned so soon, but she’d eventually have embraced her succubus.

“Sometimes you’re too damn stubborn for your own good.”

“That’s different than a normal day, how?”

Nix sighed. “Sit.” He angled his chair to face hers. “I’ll clean your wounds.”

Madison did
not
think that was a good idea, but how did she say no without hurting him further. And she sure wouldn’t tell him the demon inside sized him up like a child in an all-you-can-eat candy store.

Nix cracked the seal on the liquor bottle and filled the crystal tumbler to the rim. “I can’t believe you paid three hundred dollars for a bottle of liquor for me.”

“More like four hundred.”

His hand froze mid-air as he lifted the glass to his lips. “Four hundred? For me?”

“I planned to go to Hell for you.” She’d sold her soul in the process to save him, but she wouldn’t lay that guilt on his shoulders. “Why does four hundred surprise you?”

In silence, he took her measure, while draining the liquid in one gulp. She admired his sexy neck, X-marking the spot she wanted to kiss when his Adam’s apple bobbed with his swallow.

She pinched the bridge of her nose, reminding herself Nix was her friend, not her lover. Regardless of their taboo moments, he was
not
her lover. Never would be. Couldn’t be. Not if she wanted to save him from certain death. He and Alessa were meant to be together. Strong, capable and brave were the attributes of his woman, according to Georgie. Alessa would give him those qualities in spades. Most importantly, the horsewoman wasn’t a demon.

“You know that’s sipping liquor, right?”

A sardonic quirk edged his lips. If it held just a touch more tilt, it could have been deemed a smile. Instead, it came across as a grimace. “It’s not a sipping kind of night, Mads.”

He swiped his mouth with the back of his hand, refilled the goblet and offered her the glass. She shook her head and he said, “Drink it. You look like you could use it.”

“No, thanks, I already explained I need—”

“There’s enough sugar in this liquor to tame anything darkening your soul.”

Madison seriously doubted that, but his vigorous scrutiny compelled her to accept the glass. She sipped, but he wouldn’t tolerate anything so refined. Setting his fingers to the bottom of the glass, he tipped it until she ingested all of the spirits. Quickly. Much too quickly to protest.

Belly hot and her throat protesting the burn of the liquor, he casually plucked the goblet from her fingers and set it on the table. “Give it a moment. You’ll feel better in a minute.”

Give her a moment and she might be crawling all over him.

Nix swung his frame into the opposite chair, and sat facing her, with his legs spread wide. Since he walked into the room, Madison resisted ogling his chest, but this new position drew her focus lower.

“Right back where we started, huh, Mads? Just a different kitchen and a different year.”

“Yeah and a different set of problems.”

“Same problem,” he disagreed. Breath lodged in her lungs when his hand wedged between her knees and his fingers curled around the bottom edge of her chair. He pulled her closer, straight between his spread legs. “It’s always been Micah.”

Not trusting her voice, she nodded.

“Have you cleaned it?” he asked, drawing her forearm onto his lap and pressing it firmly against his thighs.

Jesus God
, she tried to suppress shivers of awareness.

“Mads, have you cleaned it?”

“Cleaned what?” She stared at his mouth and he smiled. That sexy, knowing grin that hinted he knew her wicked thoughts.

“The wound, baby. Have you cleaned the wound?” A finger created lazy circles in her open palm. Her intimate flesh trembled at the caress and succubus began to pant, all from a single touch.

“Oh.” She licked her lips. “Yeah. Antiseptic wash and warm, salty compresses.”

“That must have stung.”

“Yeah.”

“This brand”—he glanced at her with his head down—“it’s my fault you—”

“I swear, Phoenix Birmingham, if you say it’s your fault just once I’m going to punch you in the nose.”

One corner of his mouth twitched at her outburst, until he managed to bite back the grin. “So, feisty,” he teased with a wink.

Madison looked away and began to draw imaginary designs with her fingertip on the kitchen table.

“It looks infected.” He traced his thumb along the red line that ran from the sigil to her elbow. Every inch of her body tingled from the stroke.

She shrugged and kept her sights focused on the table. “Angel poisoning, can’t be as bad as blood poisoning, right?”

“Wrong. Let me heal it and save us some trouble.”

Us
? What an odd choice of words. “Don’t start that argument again, Nix.”

“I could force you.”

She turned her head to face him. The challenge in his eyes met hers dead-on. “You’re welcome to
try
. Regardless of the outcome, our friendship will suffer irreparable damage.”

An angry tic settled in his jaw. He squeezed antiseptic ointment onto his fingers. “Just trying to help,” he said, sounding exasperated. “You ready?”

She nodded. Madison winced at his soft touch. “I appreciate you playing doctor for me.”

His gaze flashed upward and caught hers a second before lowering to stare at her mouth. He swallowed and went back to dressing her wound. Knowing the way Nix’s mind worked, she could imagine the things he fantasized.

He could doctor me all night.

Shut up
! Madison growled at her demon.

His ring she’d slid onto her thumb to protect him from low-level demons twinkled, reminding her she still wore it. “I should return your ring when you’re finished.”

“Why?” He glanced up. “As long as you’re wearing it, I’ve got a demon-free pass. What Sherlock can say that?”

True
. She held no desire to remove it either, because it made her feel closer to him. “Not sure Sherlocks are going to welcome you with open arms after what you did in the honky-tonk.”

“Yeah.” He dragged out the one-syllable sound and cleaned the salve off his fingers with a wet-wipe. “I did cause a bit of a mess.”

Sugarcoating that dilemma
! Usha snorted, but Madison said, “Just a bit.”

He ripped open the package of a non-stick pad and placed it over the angelic mark. “Do you still feel different, like when we were in Hell?”

“I am different, Nix. The demon is beneath the surface right now, prowling like a zealous warrior.”

“You think the sugar will tame the Lynx’s desires?” He secured the pad by winding gauze around her arm and cutting it with scissors.

She refused to meet his eyes. “It’s worth a try.”

Nix didn’t release her arm, but held the edge of the dressing in place with his fingers. Madison didn’t want to draw attention to her awkwardness, so she endured his nearness without reminding him to finish playing doctor.

“Would you prefer to have Micah’s seraph instead of the sugar?”

“It’d probably work better at settling my demon.”

“That’s not what I asked, Mads.”

“Yes, Nix,” she said and his gaze whacked hers. “If I were given a choice, I would return to Hell and seek out his elixir of my own free will. But that’s not an option. As always, Amos needs me.”

He seemed to gauge his words carefully before he spoke. “From what I remember, you…um….” Nix cleared his throat. “You liked his seraph. A lot.”

“Too much.” Her cheeks flamed and she wished the earth would open up and consume her. “Worried you’ll have to hunt me if I go rogue, Nix?” Oh, shit, that came out way too teasing, with a dash of too much sultry.

Using one hand to hold the roll of surgical tape, Nix used his teeth to rip off a strip. She smiled, biting her tongue to keep from offering help. Adorable and sexy. What a dangerous cocktail in a man.

Nix secured the gauze with the tape, while chewing on his bottom lip.

Do his lips taste as good as he makes them look doing that
? She gave a mental shake, but failed to eradicate the disturbing thought.

His voice had a weird, unidentifiable tone to it and he glared at her arm, angled high across his thighs. “Not funny, Mads.”

It took her a moment to remember her question. He found amusement in the oddest things, but suggest hunting her and his humor vanished. She was lucky to have a friend like him.

“Nix?” She put a finger under his chin and nudged his head back. Unable to resist temptation, she traced the square line of his chin, any excuse to touch him. Stubble prickled the pads of her fingertips. How wicked would it feel to have it abrading her skin. Realizing she’d strayed out of friendship territory, Madison flinched and lowered her trembling hand back to the table, fingers curling into her palm.

Almost fearing what she’d see when she looked at him, she peeked up and discovered he watched her. All traces of laughter were erased from his face. Drowsy-eyed, too much emotion bled from his scrutiny. She’d never wanted to crawl straight into his lap so much as she did in that moment.

Madison cleared her throat, but her voice still sounded off like she’d just risen from sleep. “You hate to mitigate anything, and we both know hunting me has always been a future possibility. Everything’s different than before. The succubus power—”

“Lynx,” he corrected. “According to Micah, being part Lynx is so much more than the basic succubus.”

“Giving it a pretty name only disguises the evil, Nix, but doesn’t change the face of the demon beneath.”

“You’re not a demon.”

“Nix, don’t delude yourself. I am very much demon. No arguments.” She placed a finger over his mouth when he would have argued further. “The powers are addictive. They frighten me. Zen can’t help me contain Pandora power any longer.” Not having Zen as a backup plan scared her to death, proving she’d leaned on the immortal more than practical over the last four years. “The sugar made the succubus bearable before Hell. I’m hoping it’ll help now that I have Sybil in my head, but my optimism is low.”