Helluva Luxe (7 page)

Lily was juggling them both. Or juggling it all, I should say. And the effort was starting to leave a mark. Kendol saw it too. He knew she had a secret. He kept trapping it with his lens like some modern day da Vinci.

I tried not to hold my breath.

Then one night I found Lily sitting alone at my bar, half-lit and sorry-eyed. She said she needed to talk to somebody, and I was the only one she could trust.

Zayzl was out for the night watching Honky at the bar up the road. Almost everyone we knew, in fact, was at the bar up the road. Even Ash gave herself the night off, but I don’t know where she went. I saw her walk out the door, but the look in her eye was so startling I didn’t ask questions.

“She flinches when I touch her,” Lily said. “And it seems really quiet around here lately, Rorke. Not a peaceful kind of quiet. The other kind.”

“Honey, I don’t know what you expect from her.”

“Something is waiting,” she said.

“Waiting to happen?”

“Maybe.” She sighed. “Kendol will be here soon. He’s taking me out for sushi, and then we’re going to the after-party. Of course.” Her voice was flat. She was baiting me. I was supposed to be making her feel better, and I wasn’t doing my job. It took me a minute to catch on.

“You’re not going to the show?” I asked.

She shook her head.

“But you love Honky.”

She just stared at me like I should know better, and she didn’t hear Ash walk up behind her.

Ash put one hand on the back of Lily’s chair, one hand on the bar, and leaned in level to Lily’s eyes. Her voice was low and smoky. “Why aren’t you going to the show, baby?”

“I don’t want to.”

“You’re dressed like you want to.”

Lily didn’t respond.

“You forgot it was tonight, and you made plans with him?”

Lily turned her head.

Ash sighed.

I felt compelled to interfere.

One of my crew was riding the board for Ash. I got her attention and made a crazy gesture with a Honky flyer that was lying on the bar. Then I mimed breaking something over my knee and cocked my head toward Lily and Ash. It took my girl about three seconds to stop laughing at me and find what I wanted. She potted down the song she had playing and announced the show at the bar up the road. Then she slipped on “Broken Days”.

Ash and Lily visibly flinched.

Achilles, beware.

I blew my girl a kiss and grabbed a kid from security to deliver a shot to the booth. Then I went back to pretending like I wasn’t eavesdropping.

“I’m going out to dinner,” Lily said.

Ash nodded slowly. She was inches from Lily’s face, watching her lips, watching the words come out of her mouth.

“I thought you left,” Lily said.

“I did.”

Beats went by.

I’m thinking to myself, look at the two of you fools. Am I the only one turning blue here?

“Wolf will rat you out if you don’t show up,” Lily said. “You took the night off. You should go. Besides…you don’t want to miss this song.”

The space between them got smaller.

I thought, man, if I don’t find this kind of crazy love I’d rather be alone, but I still wanted to kick both their asses.

Ash glanced at me, and I made angry eyes at the seat next to Lily. She gave in and sat down. Then she leaned back against the bar on her elbows, and the front of her black button-down gaped open. She was wearing a black corded necklace Lily made her. I wanted to kiss the ends of my fingers. She was perfect. She was edible. I could’ve served her intensity straight up and made a killing. “I don’t think you want to miss this song, either,” she said.

“Kendol is on his way.”

Ash leaned forward. I could tell by the turn of her arm she had her hand on Lily’s thigh. “Rorke will cover for you. Let’s take a ride.”

Their eyes locked.

Time. Ticked. By.

“I can’t ditch him,” Lily finally said.

“Why not?”

Lily blinked slowly, and her lips parted a little, so I’m thinking Ash’s hand headed north.

“He’s not your friend, Lily. None of them are. You know you’d rather come with me.”

Lily’s face flushed hellfire red. She picked up her wine and slammed it, no easy feat. “No,” she said. “It’s not enough.”

“Not enough?” Ash grabbed Lily’s arm and pushed up her sleeve. Underneath was a row of bloody little cuts. “Is this enough? Will this pretty mess make you famous?”

My stomach turned.

Lily yanked her hand away and pulled her sleeve back down.

“Look at me,” Ash said.

“I can’t.”

“Stay with me tonight.”

“Please, don’t. I’m trapped,” she said. “You have no idea what it’s like, being caught between the two of you. I have to fix things. I’m running out of time.”

Ash shook her head. She wasn’t buying it. Lily’s shoulders started to shake.

Ash stood up and walked away.

Then I heard a door slam.

Kendol’s dog and pony show sounded more like a gaggle of hens coming through the door, so I assumed they’d taken a couple cocktails up the nose in the car on the way over. I could feel the room splintering in half, Stephen King style, dark versus light.

“Are we early?” he said.

Lily smiled at him. “No, you’re just in time. Let me grab my jacket.” She was swiping at tears as she said it, and then she ducked under the bar and pulled me to her.

“Don’t say anything about the fight, Rorke. Please.”

“That wasn’t a fight, Lily. She was begging you.”

Her eyes welled up again, and I wished I hadn’t said it.

And then, as if things couldn’t get any better, Chance came through the front door, rattled all to hell. He’d obviously passed Ash on the way in. He was loyal to her from the start, so I wasn’t surprised to see him drop an armful of fliers all over the floor and start asking if she was okay.

Lily barked a laugh, an unkind one. If she weren’t family, I’d have grabbed her by the hair and told her what for. Instead I shot her my best daggers and ducked under the bar to help Chance.

Kendol walked over to Lily and took her hand like he thought she might shatter. “Tell me what happened?” he said. He had the eyes of a talk show host, conveniently concerned.

And that’s when it hit me like a boot to the gut, the common theme through all his work. Kendol had broken-bird syndrome, and he knew it. He was capitalizing on it. So the dangerous thing about his fixation with Lily was that he created the messes he rode in to save her from. Kinda like setting a building on fire and then showing up with a hose. Luckily, he was really only concerned for himself. So when Lily wouldn’t tell him what happened with Ash, he switched gears and got pissy.

“I’m not taking you out like this,” he said. He started smoothing down her hair. “Tonight’s a big deal for me. I thought I made that clear to you. Didn’t we decide you’d stay in your room until I got here?”

Bang! Straight from the horse’s ass.

Lily’s nose jumped up an inch. Her little fist clenched. Her eyes caught fire, and one of them started to twitch. She looked like she was set to bite the shit out of the nearest hand. I expected some hissing, at least. She reached up slowly, took a hold of the hand that was taming her hair and moved it away from her head. It seemed very civil, but I could see her nails digging into his wrist.

“You won’t tell me where I can go when I’m in my own house. And you won’t insinuate who I can talk to, either.”

Kendol tilted his head with a small smile like he had all the patience in the world, and she’d simply misunderstood him. He had an audience, after all. His entourage still hadn’t closed their mouths after seeing Ash blast out the front door.

“You said this is what you want, Lily. Didn’t you tell me that sometimes you aren’t well enough to make decisions?”

She flinched and glanced around at everyone who was still listening. “You’re twisting my words.”

“And you’re twisting my intentions, darling.”

He touched the side of her face, and she sank to the steps with her hands in her lap and her head down. I’m thinking, man, what is it about those steps? And Lily’s sitting there quietly falling apart, streaking her makeup like Eric Draven. I tell you, it was an impressive display, and that dickless trickster was at her feet in a flash.

“I’m sorry, Kendol,” she said. She didn’t look up at him. She was almost whispering.

“Shh, doll, it’s okay. Let’s get you straightened out. We’ve got nothing but time.”

He nodded to Z, who immediately cleared her throat and rounded up the entourage. She stuffed a few fat bills in my jar, which meant I should accommodate. So I poured them all drinks.

Nobody else was looking when he slipped Lily a pill. Then he picked her up and carried her to her room, all the while mumbling some complete bullshit along the lines of, “This is exactly why I said you need space. She’s dragging you down with her, and it’s going to kill everything we’ve worked for. You need to focus, Lily. You’re too good for this.”

I rolled my eyes and gagged.

Zombarbie and the others scattered like cockroaches.

Chance just stood there staring at me.

“What the hell was that?” he said.

“Foolishness.”

“What did he mean when he said she’s not well?”

“We can talk about it later, kid. I need a drink. Do you need a drink?”

He smiled at me and looked relieved.

I had to agree. I was ready to welcome the most regular of regulars. I wanted some ornery women in my face, some booze in my blood, and some music in my veins. I would’ve gladly ridden the hood of my car like Tawny Kitaen through one of those six-dollar wash jobs. Anything to get the drama funk off my boots. I just couldn’t take any more.

Which, you know, is cue for the front door to bang open.

Lucky me. The circus was still in town.

We heard some angry muttering and a punch to the wall.

Nobody’s ever been dumb enough to punch walls in that bar but Zayzl, so I nodded toward the walk-in for Chance to disappear. Standard evacuation procedure when Zayzl’s on a tear. Chance has learned the hard way that the path of least resistance is paved with beer tabs and bar mats. And he does inventory when he’s hiding out. Can’t beat that. Unfortunately, Zayzl saw him take off.

“Get your skinny ass back here if you want to keep living under my roof for free,” Zayzl shouted. He was lit.

Chance waited a beat and came back through the door with a sixer. He popped one open for me and one for himself.

“Yeah?” he said.

Zayzl took two of the beers and pushed one toward the empty seat next to him. “You think I’m a fucking fool, don’t you?” he slurred and sat down. “I see her, too. I know what she’s doing.”

Chance and I looked at each other. He clearly didn’t know who Zayzl was talking to, either. Or who the extra beer was for. The kid looked spooked. I moved so I was standing between the two of them. His hands were shaking, so I pulled down some whiskey and poured him a shot. I lit us a smoke, too. Took a long drag and passed it back. Zayzl’s bloodshot eyes were all over me.

“Don’t tell me you two are…” He made a clever hand gesture.

“No. We’re not. Jesus, Zayzl.”

“I was about to say—”

“The hell you were.” I stared him down.

He seemed ready to crack his beer over the bar, but then I heard this rustle from above. It was Ash in one of Mofet’s kimonos, and she was perched at the railing like a bird on a wire. She gave herself away trying not to laugh. Zayzl heard her, too. Or he heard something, I should say. He whipped his head so fast my heart started pounding. But then he stumbled down from his bar stool, stretched his arms out wide, and turned a big slow circle. He was losing it.

He started singing a Cure song, slowly, as only the truly insane can. “Where is she, Rorke?” He was still circling. “You’re on her side. You always have been. Even when she took away everything that was mine.”

I assumed he was talking about Ash. I thought, ah hell, here it comes. We’re gonna be on the ten o’clock news.

“I know you’re there,” He yelled at the room. “I can smell you. Come out so I can eat your candy-colored eyes.” He started cackling.

I could feel Ash watching me. She was poised to jump. I motioned for Chance to leave the room again, but he just gave me this look like, you gotta be kidding. And then something cracked. It was the sound of me reaching my damn limit. I hopped the bar, grabbed Zayzl by the collar of his Matrix knockoff and slammed him up against the wall. He made an oomph sound I found very satisfying.

“You’re wearing me down.”

“It’s all your fault,” he said.

“My fault? My fault your girlfriend left you? My fault she OD’d? My fault you’re not a DJ? ’Cause let’s be honest here. That’s what this is about, right?”

“Fuck you,” he said. “Everything is easy for you.”

My ears started ringing.

“You, Zayzl. You are definitely not easy for me.”

“I’m the only son,” he said. “You swore it.”

“Whoa,” Chance whispered.

A beat of silence passed.

“I don’t know which demon you’re talking to, but you need to get your shit together.” I shoved him again, and his eyes rattled around. “Leave Chance alone. He’s a fucking kid.”

I was fired up to kick some ass. I don’t know where it came from, but I bit it back. I thought Zayzl just might hate himself enough to bait me into tearing him apart, and I wasn’t gonna fall for it. He reeked of self-pity, so I let go of his coat. But then his eyes flashed, and he laughed to beat the devil. He ducked under my bar, grabbed what was left of the sixer, and slammed through the back door, mumbling incoherently the whole way.

Ash climbed down from the catwalk. She seemed surprisingly calm. She wrapped an arm around each of us and shook her head. “For some unfortunate reason, people like him are never the ones who OD.”