Her Journey Begins (29 page)

   She
’
s used to adversity in her life. She only remembers being hit once, but the foster mother before Barb, loved to leave those fingertip bruises in her upper arms. Sometimes they were accompanied by small crescent shaped cuts where she dug the tips of her fingernails in. Only one time did Chris try to pull away, leaving 4 to 6 inch scratches on her arm. No, Chris learned to do what needed to be done, never make the same mistake twice, and just never complain, because there
’
s nothing she could do about it.



   She gets up, pours her self a cup of coffee, and glances at the clock before sitting back down. He
’
s become unbearable and possessive. He won
’
t let her leave the house by herself, she has no money coming in, thanks to him, but at least she
’
s learned to black out the sex and not fight him. Thankfully he uses a condom. So she doesn
’
t worry about getting pregnant. She pawned her engagement ring months ago. She only got forty dollars for it, but it helped pay the rent that month. Two months ago he came home and threw crumpled  paper at her. Yelling and screaming he told her,
“
I don
’
t want my phone number plastered all over town, if I find any more of these hanging up, you will know what pain is.
“
That
’
s okay
”
she thought to herself,
“
the people I
’
ve been working for already have the phone number, I can get by on what I
’
m making from them. I
’
ll be able to pay him the rent for now at least.
”

As if he was reading her mind he ripped the phone cord out of the wall.
“
In fact I don
’
t even need a phone.
”

She let out her breath, not looking at him, she didn
’
t cry, as she clenched and unclenched her hands.



      Last night was bad. She doesn
’
t really know what she did wrong, but he grabbed her by the hair. She refused to give him the satisfaction of screaming out in pain or crying, which only made him madder.
“
Oh, so you
’
re being tough, huh? Doesn
’
t hurt you, does it? Well maybe this will teach you.
”
As he let go of her hair he grabbed her by the arm, digging his fingers into her flesh before he shoved her towards the chair. Falling over it, she ended up with a huge bruise on her thigh and another one right about the kidney area on the same side, not to mention the fingertip bruises on her arm.



   A month ago she saw an ad in the paper that the YWCA was offering free aerobics classes three days a week. He has a class Friday mornings so she has been sneaking out after he leaves for work. It
’
s not that she really needs the exercise, and she really isn
’
t friendly with the other girls there, but she gets out, there are people, and it is the only thing that lets her know that she
’
s alive still. Some days she wishes he
’
d just
…
Shaking her head she looks down at her wedding ring as she turns it around and round. Looking back at the clock, she gets up and leaves.

 
It
’
s Chris
’
22
nd
birthday and she feels just like she did ten years ago. She has been sitting in the locker room for ten minutes waiting for everyone to leave. Chris looks around and thinks she
’
s finally alone. She knows she needs to hurry and get home before he does or he
’
ll know she was out. Chris sighs, takes off her sweats and as she is pulling Brandon
’
s t-shirt off over her head she hears,

  
“
Oh my God, Chris!
”
Chris quickly pulls her shirt back down and looks over to see Sue standing there. They aren
’
t friends really. They just say hi to each other when they get to class. Chris tries not to get close to any of the women in the group, not wanting them to know about the abuse. Sue is staring at the bruise on Chris
’
thigh.
“
Chris, who did that to you?
”

Chris averts her gaze from Sue.
“
I fell.
”

  
“
Chris there is no way those bruises that you have, are from a fall.
”
Sue reaches over, lifts Chris
’
shirt sleeve and looks at the fingertip bruises on her arm.
“
Chris, who is abusing you?
”

  
“
Nobody, I
’
m fine. I just fell. I
’
ve gotta hurry.
”
Chris stands up.
“
I
’
ve got to leave. I have to get home before
…
.
”

Sue blocks her way.
“
Before what, Chris?
”
 

Chris shakes her head, clenches and unclenches her hands, trying not to cry.
“
I just have to get home, okay?
”

  
“
Chris I can
’
t let you go home, especially if it
’
s someone there that is doing this to you.
”

  
“
You don
’
t understand, I have no other place to go.
”
Chris tells her as a tear slips down her cheek.

   
“
I
’
ll take you home and you can get your stuff, but I can
’
t let you stay there. You can come home with me.
”

  
“
I can
’
t do that.
”

  
“
Oh yes you can, and you will.
”



   Pulling up in front of the house, Chris looks up and down the street to see if his car is parked anywhere. Not seeing it, they get out and Chris reaches under the planter and grabs the spare key. Chris opens the door and is startled to see him sitting there.

  
“
Where the hell have you been?
”
He gets up from the chair, walks over, and grabs Chris by the arm. Sue glances around, sees the phone on the counter and picks up the receiver.

  
“
Let her go! You touch her again and you are going to jail. Now let her go.
”

He lets go of Chris
’
arm and holds his hands up in front of himself. Smiling he tells Sue,
“
Hey, I wasn
’
t going to hurt her. You
’
ve got this all wrong.
”

Sue doesn
’
t take her eyes off of him.
“
Chris, go get your stuff and lets go.
”

   Coming back out of the bedroom, Chris has her camera bag, her photo album, and a plastic grocery bag of clothes. He grabs the bag of clothes from her and tries to grab her camera case.

  
“
You aren
’
t taking anything with you. You want to leave, then you go, but you aren
’
t
…
.
”

Chris starts shaking as the tears start to fall, but not out of fear. No, not this time. This time she
’
s angry as she clutches her camera bag close to her body.

  
“
You can take my clothes and you can take my dignity, but this camera is mine, it came with me and it leaves with me, now get your hands off of it.
”
Chris pushes his hand away and runs out the door with Sue right behind her.



   Sue parks in front of the apartment and watches Chris clench and unclench her hands. Tight fist, open palm, finger tips to palm, tight fist.

  
“
Do you always do that?
”

Chris turns and looks at her.
“
What?
”
Sue nods towards Chris
’
hands.

Chris sighs.
“
Yeah, bad habit I guess. I
’
ve been doing it since I was little. I only do it when I
’
m scared or nervous though.
”

  
“
Well you have nothing to be scared or nervous about, you
’
re safe now. Come on lets go in, I
’
m hungry and by the sounds your stomach is making, you
’
re starving.
”
She tells Chris as she
’
s laughing.

   Walking into the apartment, Chris sees it has a fireplace. It reminds her of Brandon and her hands start to fidget again.

  
“
Hey, you look about my size, let
’
s see what I have that you can change into.
”
Sue takes her into the bedroom and starts pulling clothes from her closet, laying them on the bed.
“
Since you are shorter than me, you
’
ll probably need to cuff them up though.
”
After changing her clothes Chris finds Sue is in the kitchen making them a sandwich.

  
“
I can do that if you want.
”

  
“
No. I got it, in fact, wa la, all done. Come on let
’
s sit down and we can talk while we eat.
”

Chris takes a bite of her sandwich and washes it down with her soda.
“
Oh that tastes so good.
”
She wipes the corners of her mouth with her fingertips and looks over at Sue.
“
I
’
m sorry, I didn
’
t mean to drag you into this.
”

Sue takes a swig of her soda before she replies.
“
Chris you didn
’
t drag me into anything, I came in on my own free will and there was no way I was going to leave you there.
”

  
“
But I have no money and no place to go.
”

  
“
You don
’
t have to go nowhere, as for money we will work it out. I do have a question though?
”

  
“
What
’
s that?
”

  
“
When he tried to take your camera from you, you could really see the fire in your eyes. Why does it mean so much to you?
”

Chris is twirling her wedding ring around on her finger. Another habit she has had ever since Brandon died.
“
My husband gave it to me.
”

  
“
I
’
m taking it that, that guy wasn
’
t your husband. Where is your husband?
”

  
“
He was killed in an attempted robbery while trying to protect me. It
’
s a long story.
”

  
“
Well then I guess it
’
s your lucky day, because I played hooky from work today and you
’
ve got my undivided attention until Monday morning.
”

   
“
So that
’
s why I don
’
t see you at the aerobics class every week, because you are working?
”

Sue nods.
“
Uh huh. Hey if you want to, we can go a couple of nights a week to the evening classes.
”

Chris smiles,
“
I
’
d like that.
”