Her Sweetest Revenge (Delphine Publications Presents) (3 page)

I finally saw him being escorted my way by one of the guards on duty. He reached out and touched the window with both hands. Since he was convicted of several murders, he was in a maximum security prison. That means no physical contact with the inmate. So we only get to see each other through this fucking glass.

“
Baby girl, I been missing you!” He smiled at me.

The window was soundproof so I could only read his lips. I stood up and put both of my hands on the window to match his. For a moment we just gaped at each other before we picked up the phones. I could feel my heart breaking all over again. I even think it skipped a beat.

“
Hey, Daddy,” I all but whispered into the phone receiver. I tried to control my tears, but they just started rolling down my face.

“
Come on, baby girl. You can do this. Tell me what’s up.”

“
I just don’t know what to do anymore. Everything is harder than ever, and I’m trying to be strong, Daddy, but I’m only seventeen, and a girl at that.” I wiped the tears off my face with the back of my hand.

“
Mya, look at me. I’m sorry the way I left things, but I couldn’t control that,” he pleaded.

That statement is complete bull to me. And even more it just made me angry. “You could have controlled it. Everyone has a choice of how they live their life. I’m only seventeen, and even I know that. For all the dope you served on the streets, we don’t have shit now. You left us flat broke. No house, no cars, not even an ounce of coke to sell. So what was it all for? We have nothing to show except a father in prison and a mother on crack. Maybe instead of selling crack, you and your beautiful wife should’ve had a legit job. At least we would have our parents.” I felt a lump growing in my throat, and I could barely breathe so I lay down the phone.

He pointed at the phone for me to pick it back up. I stalled for a few seconds before I picked it up.

“
You have every right to be angry at me. I know that. I beat myself up every day knowing how y’all out there suffering. But the feds took everything.” His voice started to get choked up so he stalled. Then he cleared his throat and continued.

“
I had money set up in a bank account for us to move and get that new house out in the Auburn Hills suburbs. I knew that would at least get us out of the heart of the projects. And being stupid I had money in safes around the house. They found all that money. I fucked up; I was just used to things being the way it had always been. Used to livin’ the good life. I was just too caught up into gettin’ money. The whole time I was out there in the streets I never made one good decision, and baby girl, I had been in the streets a long time. I had been dealing for almost twenty years. I thought I was on top. But it wasn’t until I noticed all the young cats coming into the game around me, making moves and getting up out of the projects that I knew I needed to make a move. That’s when I decided to get y’all up outta there, but by then, I was just getting rusty. I’m sorry, baby girl.”

“
I know you didn’t want any of this stuff to happen. It’s just so fucked up, Dad.”

He tried to change the subject. “How is everybody? I bet Monica and Li’l Bo getting tall like me, huh?” Dad smiled thinking about them.

“
Yep, they want to come see you too, but I don’t have the money. Li’l Bo talkin’ about hustlin.’ Dad, if he gets out there in the streets, he gon’ end up dead or in here with you. He listens to me now, but I don’t know how much longer he will. I got to do something.”

“
He said something to you about hustlin’?” Dad asked me.

“
This morning was the first time. He said wants to come see you so you can teach him the game.”

“
Shit!” Dad hit the window with his fist. Two guards rushed over to contain him, but he explained and they let him go. “I don’t want to see him in here or dead, but I can’t do jack for him in here.” He paused for a minute; his breathing was rushed. “I just ruined it for everybody. DAMN!” His voice boomed across the room again.

“
It’s OK, Daddy. I will do what I can for now to keep him off the block, but you and I both know it’s just a matter of time. Those niggas from the Boone Squad be after little niggas every day,” I reminded him.

“
I know.” He had a distant look in his eyes. “You try to bring him up on the next visit. I’ll talk to him.” He paused again. “Your momma . . . How is she doing?”

I looked down to keep from looking him straight in the eyes. I just hated to put all this on him while he’s in here. “She’s worse. Losing weight, skin color fading, just not the same anymore. That’s why I need to step up, Dad. Monica and Li’l Bo only have me, and if I keep stealing from the food market, I’ma end up in Juvenile. I can’t leave them; I need to know what to do.” I looked him straight in the eyes. “You can’t show me, but you can tell me how to survive.” I beseeched him for help.

Again he hesitated. “Baby girl, you got to get what you can outta the streets. Not by being weak like your momma. I spoiled her. Kept her looking good, but I didn’t teach her nothing. That was my first mistake. The only thing she knew how to do was look good and be my woman. That’s my fault. But you, baby girl, you can get it. The streets got something that you can get and on your terms. You don’t need anybody to get it, especially no nigga. Fuck that! You fatten your own pockets. Now, if you happen to find a sucka on the way, that’s different. And another thing I want you to get is your GED. You need that; it completes you.”

“
But, Dad, what are you saying? In what way does that get me up out of the projects?” I asked, totally confused by everything that he just said. It sounded like random chatter.

“
Baby girl, the streets don’t want nothin’ from you. But you want from the streets because it’s your survival. The streets ain’t gon’ give you nothing free. Whatever you want out of the streets, baby girl, you gon’ have to take it. On your own terms; it’s as simple as that.”

I started smiling. “Dad, the only thing you said that I understand is GED. And I plan on gettin’ that when I get straight. But for now, we gotta eat and get out of the projects.”

“
Baby girl, once you sit down and think about what I said it’ll come to you. The picture will be clear, but look at me when I say this. Don’t you ever become a trophy for any nigga, because ain’t shit he can give you that you can’t get for yo self. You remember that.”

Chapter 6

After the visit with my dad I headed straight back to the Brewster feeling a little relieved and trying to figure out what he was talking about. As I approached my building I could see Li’l Bo standing in the hallway. Before I got to him I could tell that he was upset.

“
What’s up, Li’l Bo? Why are you standing out here?” I questioned him as I felt myself getting nervous.

“
Momma!” Li’l Bo eyes were filled with tears. “One of these suckaniggas beat her. And she won’t say who,” Li’l Bo said in short, hurried breaths.

“
What!” I screamed. I pushed past him and rushed up the ten flights of stairs to get to our floor since the elevator was broken again. Shit is always broke in these damn projects. I’m so tired by the time I run up all those stairs I can barely breathe. The door was wide open to our apartment, and the living room looked like it’s been tossed.

“
Ma!” I shouted out heading straight to her room. “Oh, GOD!” I screamed but I didn’t even hear the words as they left my mouth. One look at her face sent rage through me. Her naturally red bone face was black and blue, her right eye was swollen shut, and her bottom lip was covered in crusty dried-up blood. “Come on, Momma, we gotta get you to a hospital.” I reached down and tried to lift her off the bed.

“
No, Mya. I’ll be OK.” One single tear rolled down her already soaked face.

“
I’ve been trying to get her to go to the hospital, Mya, but she won’t listen.” Monica tried to speak through her choked up voice. Her face was also swollen from crying.

“
You need to go to the hospital, Momma. Something could be broken, and why are you holding your arm like that? Can you move it? Do you think it’s broken?” I reached over to help her lift the arm up, but she quickly pushed me off.

“
Ugh, ugh, Mya, don’t touch it.” She tried to lift it herself. “AGGHH!” she screamed in agonizing pain. “I don’t think it’s broken, but it hurts like hell.” She bent over in pain.

“
Fuck all this, I’m calling the cops.” I rushed over to grab the phone off the dresser, but the cord got caught under my shoe and it fell to the floor.

“
No, no, Mya!” she shouted. “Don’t do that. You’ll only make it worse. I’ll be OK,” she begged me.

“
Well, tell me who did this. Who did this to you?” I shouted again.

“
That doesn’t matter. I’m OK,” she tried to convince me.

“
Monica, leave the room.” I pointed toward the door.

“
But—” Monica tried to protest.

“
Monica, leave the room
. Now!
” I screamed.

Monica got off the bed slowly and walked out. I slammed the door behind her. In a quiet voice I demanded answers from Momma.

“
I want to know who did this to you and why. I won’t leave this room until I know.”

“
Why does it matter, Mya? I ain’t shit but a prostitute and crack ho,” she said calmly while looking off into space. “This type of thing is bound to happen to me . . . or worse. I’m lucky every day if somebody don’t rape me and leave me for dead in an alley.”

Not trying to hear a word she was saying, I broke her trance when I got directly in her face and started screaming at her. “Do you think it’s okay for someone to do this to you? And then you try to protect him? Tell me now, goddamit!” I screamed again. “Who did this to you?” The look in my eyes had to be raging because my insides felt like they were on fire.

I think I surprised her with my rage because she had shock in her eyes. “Mya, I’m still your mother regardless of my fucked life,” she said, her voice still calm.

“
Right now you are acting like a teenager, Ma, but you don’t have to tell me who did this to you. I already know. This got Squeeze’s name all over it.” I turned to leave the room, but before I did she started talking.

“
He came over while y’all was gone, okay? Is that what you wanna hear, Mya?” With agonizing pain written across her face she repositioned herself on the bed. “We had sex. When we were finished he went to the bathroom to take a shower. He came outta the bathroom and started getting dressed, and then he went into his pants’ pocket and started counting his stack. All of a sudden he starts accusing me of stealing from him. I told him I didn’t touch his stuff. And, Mya, I swear I didn’t.” She looked me straight in eye convincingly.

“
I didn’t move out of this bed when he went into that bathroom. I would never steal from a crazy-ass nigga, but he wouldn’t listen to me, Mya.” She started to cry. Seeing my momma cry sent me into more tears. “The next thing I know he was punching me. I must’ve passed out sometime during the beating. I don’t know what happened after that. When I woke up, Monica was standing over me screaming.”

“
I
knew
he did this.” I broke down on the floor. “I hate living here. I hate our life.” At that moment everything my dad said to me suddenly seemed clear. These streets were grimy, and the only thing that was free in the street was hurt and pain. I stood up, wiped my face, and walked toward my mother’s bedroom door.

Mom jumped off the bed and grabbed me with her good hand. Unable to see straight because of that swollen eye and the pain she stumbled. “Mya, don’t tell Li’l Bo. I’m afraid for him, and if knows he might try to kill Squeeze. I don’t want to see him locked up or shot up by the Boone Squad. I just couldn’t take it.” She reached out and wrapped her good arm around me. For the first time in four years I felt like I had my momma back.

I quickly released myself from her embrace. “Even though Squeeze deserves exactly what he’ll get one day, I won’t tell Li’l Bo. But only because I love my brother. I don’t give a fuck about Squeeze or what may happen to him.”

I opened the door and left her room with a calm feeling that for some reason sent chills down my spine.

Chapter 7

Waking up early this morning, the first and only thing on my mind was getting on my grind. I had shit that I needed to put into place, and I mean ASAP. A nigga like Squeeze wants to screw with my family? Then it’s on. Like my dad said, the streets ain’t gon’ give you nothing for free, so it’s up to you to take from the streets. And I meant to do just that by taking from grimy niggas like Squeeze who don’t mean these streets any good. From this day forward, Squeeze and his whole squad are targets for me. The money they work hard at getting by selling crack over in these projects is going to be my proceeds really soon. Because when I put the steel to their heads, they better drop it off. If they don’t, they better be ready to die. I have never killed anyone before, but this was personal.