Here for You

I inherited my sorry-excuse-for-a-dad’s business two years ago. The transition was smooth with very few hiccups as I’d been running it for years prior to that anyhow. Not that my dad was an inadequate CEO—he was actually a very successful businessman. The problem was that he had only ever thought about himself for the last decade of his life. Nope. Scratch that—for as long as I can remember. He was selfish, obsessively selfish, and when he wasn’t thinking about himself, he was thinking about how he could gain an advantage in the future.

When conducting business, this is actually a great quality, but when dealing with your family and kids, it’s really not an ideal trait. My parents were technically married up until the end. That was simply a technicality on paper including living arrangements. My dad bought this house a year into their marriage. My mom lived here every summer then year round as soon as my younger sister graduated from high school. Even though she would stay with my dad in the city when he asked her to, this house is where she was happiest.

But none of that is the reason I’m here today. I’m here to mourn my most recent loss. My now
ex
-fiancé may be searching for me, even though if he used the head on the top part of his body he would know exactly where to find me. The fact that he didn’t arrive here shortly after me just tells me what I believed is correct. He doesn’t care what he did to me. At least not enough that he would actually follow me and apologize for his indiscretion.

I can’t say he was truly my soul mate, the person I was born to find. Sure, I loved him, but I can’t confidently say I was
in love
with him. But he was one of the few people left in my world that I trusted. Key word being
trusted
, as in past tense. That was ripped away from me today, and I think I’m more upset about that than actually losing him as my fiancé. I live in a tough world, and people I can truly trust are a precious commodity.

When you’re at a certain level of business—and by level, I mean company worth—some things are taken out of your hands. I don’t expect everyone to understand, and I certainly don’t expect people to feel sorry for me, because they may not understand what it’s really like to be in my position. I do have gorgeous houses, fast cars and beautiful clothes. These are just possessions though, things I must have to keep up appearances. I wouldn’t choose many of the things I have if they weren’t required. Some of it, of course. But most things, no, absolutely not. There’s a dark side to wealth, as my family found out all too well.

I don’t hate having money, but I hate that it dictates my life. I work almost every waking hour and I love what I do, which actually is a bonus in my world. Many people don’t, and those are the most miserable of the bunch; not only is their personal life a façade but so is their every day business world. That to me would be the saddest place to be. So I feel like even though my parents are gone and my fiancé cheated on me, at least I can go back to my company on Monday and love stepping through the doors.

Knowing I still have that allows me to relax my shoulders an inch, and I take another deep, therapeutic breath. I know I will move on from this day, but it will take a little time to forget the deceit.

“Oh my God.” My voice is a mere whisper as it is meant only for my ears.

I get myself in check before I start to actually drool. The man strolling up the beach in front of the house next door may be a perfect specimen. Literally as close to perfect as I can even begin to imagine. Wearing only board shorts and either just coming back from a serious weight workout or naturally ripped at all hours of the day, he’s a solid mass. I know he could bench press me a hundred times in that many seconds. He’s well over six feet tall, and every inch is lean muscle.

Caramel-colored hair and—I’m guessing—light colored eyes, the man is a gift. Beautiful. He was put on the earth for women like me to have something to stare at. I know I just caught my fiancé cheating less than two hours ago, but it’s unfair to think any woman would not notice this man. Somehow, I manage to tear my eyes away before he notices me tracking him like a starved animal.

I’m not sure when I will date again, so I’m not interested in him for that reason. I honestly don’t have it in me to put the effort in for a new relationship, and I work so much that there is no time to get to know someone new anyway. This is another one of the reasons I’m upset about the break-up. At least with my idiot of a fiancé, I had a date to take to business functions, dinners and, as pathetic as it may sound, sex at least once a week. Yes, once a week is pretty good considering my schedule. I would have made more time for it if I had a reason to, but in his case, once a week was plenty. Now I will have to attend functions solo, which is fine for business but just more work for me because I will not have anyone else to turn the attention to or to help keep up conversation.

There is also the side of me that’s actually very upset about a decade-long relationship coming to an end. By no means am I cold-hearted. I need love and affection as much as the next person, and at least I had someone I could count on for the last ten years. This is the part that has me acting like any other woman. I really am hurt, and that’s why I need to be at the beach this weekend drinking my pain away.

Yes, if I had a choice I would have stayed in the city to drink with my best friend, Quinn. She’s great and I wouldn’t trade her in for anyone. A little crass at times and certainly never one to be accused of being shy or quiet, but I love her regardless of her totally inappropriate behavior on occasion. She’s not always obnoxious, but depending on the day and her mood, she can offend even the most patient person because she doesn’t let up. She goes after what she wants in life, and God help any person that gets in her way.

Unfortunately for me, she’s overseas in Bora Bora or somewhere romantic with her most recent fling. I honestly don’t know why she travels with them because nine times out of ten she breaks up with them either on the trip or within the first few days home.

A little while later I sit down at a table on the deck with my plate of take-out and a bottle of the best Cabernet I could find in the house. There’s no way I’m cooking for myself tonight. I love to do it, I really do. But after this day I can’t bring myself to stand in front of a hot stove or oven.

As I put in a mouthful of the best eggplant parmesan around, I see Mr. Hottie on the beach again not far from his house. At least he has a shirt on now, although it barely contains the muscles pulsing across his entire body. God, Quinn would be drooling right now. My friend has all the right curves and attracts every man that crosses her path. Having her pick of the litter, she could date any man out there. She’s intelligent and beautiful enough to be a model, but for some reason she always picks losers. Always.

The man standing over there would be perfect for her. Well, at least perfect on the eyes. For all I know, he has a terrible personality. Either way, she needs to know I’m watching pure perfection walk around the beach.

From: Ashley

Q, u would not believe how hot my neighbor is!

From: Quinn

That’s my girl. I’m so proud of you! I have taught you well. I was worried that I would need to fly home early to take care of u because of that asshole!

I laugh to myself. Two things about that statement are funny. Quinn would never, I mean never, leave vacation early unless the world was actually coming to an end. And the second reason is because she’s completely right. The usual conservative and always-in-control Ashley is missing right now. However, I think we should all be granted a day and evening of insanity following the break-up of a decade-long relationship.

From: Ashley

Yep, u r a fantastic influence!

From: Quinn

Stop it! Don’t mock me. You know u r so much better with me.

From: Ashley

Totally agree, which is y I can’t figure out y u r not here right now.

From: Quinn

Don’t make me feel bad. I told u I would come home if u needed me but u assured me u were fine. Do u need me?

I really want to tell her to come home, but I would never do that. I miss her so much right now, and I have no idea what to do with myself without her or Charlie the douchebag.
Wow
. I probably should slow down on the wine. I rarely use derogatory names, and I certainly don’t ogle hot men. I honestly can’t remember if I’m on the first bottle or the second.
Shit.
This is not good.

From: Ashley

I think I should probably go to bed. I’m starting to talk like u and we both know that’s not normal and probably not a good thing.

From: Quinn

Don’t disappoint me now. U go talk to hottie. What u need is a good one-night stand. Come on, Ash, you’ve never done that!

I laugh quietly to myself. Quinn is right on that. I never did the one-night thing in high school, as I don’t imagine many girls do, and I had been dating the jerk since college, so that pretty much eliminated the possibility of it. I’m definitely anti-cheating, so I never even would have considered sleeping with another man.

From: Ashley

Tell u what. If I tell u I’m considering it, is that good enough?

From: Quinn

Hell yeah! Can I reiterate how proud I am?

I laugh again, but then I hear a very feminine voice coming from the back of the house next door.

“Cam?”

“Yeah.”

“Cameron is going to bed. Do you want to say goodnight?”

“Sure. I’ll be right there.”

Wow. If there was ever an ultimate buzz-kill, it’s just happened. So that I don’t have to answer to Quinn on why I didn’t follow through on my threat, I send a quick text.

From: Ashley

Hottie has a wife and kid. Oops! Somehow I missed that earlier. He was the only one outside, so at least I can’t fault myself for drooling.

From: Quinn

Damn, girl. That sucks. If it was just the wifey, I’d tell you to move in, but I would NEVER tell u to make a move on a man with a kid. Hottie or not, even I have limits! Yeah, yeah, I know u r rolling your eyes at me but I really do have some morals.

From: Ashley

I know u do, Q. Thanks for listening to me earlier. I appreciate u taking the time out of your pre-honeymoon.