HerMatesEmbrace (6 page)

She couldn’t deny that. Her mother had been forced out of
Cami’s father’s
Thent
while Cami was still very young. All Cami
remembered was it had happened sometime after her father had died. Her mother
had only said that they weren’t welcome there anymore. Cami had gotten the
feeling it had something to do with her father’s family.

Her mother hadn’t been born Santir. She’d been turned and
didn’t know magic. So much had been hidden and Cami didn’t know why. Her
brothers had gone looking for their father’s family shortly after they’d found
shelter in
Scali Thent
, but she hadn’t seen any of them since. Her
mother hadn’t ever explained why when she’d asked. Of course, Laed and Kynar
hadn’t cared enough to send anyone after them when they were long overdue for
return.

“What do I need to do? I want to know how to handle this
thing, and until I can control it myself, I do need help.” She took a deep breath.
While she may wish she could control the power inside of her, it was too
dangerous to take chances simply because of her fear of discovery.

“I want you to push the power inside you higher. You’ve
learned how to lessen it. You can make it stronger. It’s the same principle.
Focus, will and intent.” Linc stood in front of her.

“And what do I do when I get it higher?” She licked her
lips. That definitely wasn’t something she’d even thought of too much outside
of the control exercises.

“You push it through your body to your hand. You’re going to
let it flow out of you there. When you’re ready, take my hand. We can’t absorb
it, but we can use it and get rid of it for you. You see why no warrior would
do it. He wouldn’t give power to someone else that they might be able to use
against him. I’d trust Colm in that way, but not many others.” Linc looked back
at the large man sitting on the bed.

She saw the closeness and trust in that shared look.
Intellectually, she’d known their relationship was more than friendship, but
seeing that look, she knew that these two had an unbreakable bond. A woman
would have to fight to make a place with them and be willing to accept that she
might never have as close a tie to either one of them as they had with each
other. She’d never thought about it from that angle. It was yet another reason
to keep them at a distance.

“Yes, I can see that a man wouldn’t want to give someone a
weapon. I’m not so comfortable with it myself, but until I can handle this
power on my own, I know I’ll need some help.” She sighed. “We should probably
get started.”

“Take as much time as you need.” Colm remained unmoving on
the bed, but she knew he was watching everything.

She didn’t want to take any more time than was necessary.
Focusing inward again, she tried to prod the magic higher, but it didn’t come
easily. She knew she should be able to make the magic rise at will, but she
wasn’t sure she wanted to make it higher when all it had ever caused was
trouble.

She closed her eyes and blocked out everything except the
magic and making it respond to her will. It rose slowly. She forced away the
doubts about how she was going to control it or direct it as they wanted. This
was her power. She could control it. Finally, it rose to a sufficient level and
she began trying to direct to her palm.

It wasn’t as easy as he’d made it sound. The magic flowed,
but it moved all through her body and not simply to her arm. If it was this
hard now, when the power wasn’t pushing at her and fear that it would escape
her grasp wasn’t tearing through her mind, how was she supposed to do it when
it was? Clenching her teeth together, she pushed away the doubts. Finally, the
power began to flow down her arm and into her hand. She could feel her skin
warming. Reaching out, she took his hand.

“Now, just let it flow out of you.” Linc’s fingers tightened
around hers.

She tried, but couldn’t get it to release. She licked her
lips and tried to force it out of her. Nothing. She frowned and tried again.
The longer she couldn’t get it to respond as she wanted, the more frustrated
she became. Linc’s hand tightened on hers, drawing her attention to him.

“Take a few deep breaths and relax. You’re trying too hard.
On top of that, you’ve been so worried about keeping the magic from getting out
that it’s become a habit to keep a tight grip on it. You have to relax and let
the energy flow. As we teach you, you are actually going to be using it, so
this is something you’re going to have to learn to do.” His free hand came up
and brushed her hair off the side of her face.

“Your magic isn’t bad. It’s just a little out of control
now. Trust us to help you with this. Close your eyes and let the magic move out
of you.” Colm’s voice was calm and rolled over her.

She flicked a glance over at him. His black hair hung loose
around his shoulders. She wanted to run her fingers through it to see if it was
as soft as it looked. It gleamed and tempted her to get closer to him. She bit
her lips nervously and nodded. Closing her eyes, she tried to focus only on her
breathing for a time. Maybe he was right and she needed to relax.

It didn’t come easily. She had to deliberately blank out
every thought and focus only on pulling in the next breath and exhaling. She
didn’t think about Colm or the fact that Linc still held her hand.

The tension began leaving her body. When she thought she was
relaxed enough, she opened her eyes and pushed the power out of her body. Her
hand became almost uncomfortably hot. She looked down and saw a purple haze
blossom between her palm and his.

Linc raised his hand and a shower of white and purple petals
fell from the ceiling. Her mouth hung open and she gawked as the colorful rain
continued. A sweet scent swirled around the room and she inhaled greedily. It
reminded her of one of her favorite spots on Taubus. She hadn’t thought of it
since before she’d fled the dubious safety of
Scali Thent
.

Maybe she’d been afraid that the memories of what had been
done to her had tainted the beauty, but it hadn’t. Right now, thinking of that
place, all she could remember about it were the lush flowers and reeds lining
the bank of the small, clear pool and the slight chill of the water as she
waded slowly into it. The blossoms’ heavy scent had perfumed the air. Sometimes
even heavier than the scent around her now.

“I only did it this way to show you that magic was being
used. Most of the time, it won’t be obvious. Depending on how much time we have
to prepare for the discharge and the conditions, we’ll probably simply
discharge the power in a way no one could get hurt by it. Nothing created,
nothing destroyed.” Linc released her hand.

“Thank you. I probably would have wondered if you were
trying simply to reassure me or give me a little confidence if I hadn’t seen
something,” she admitted with a small smile.

“We wouldn’t lie to you about this. You have to know we
won’t lie to you about this if you’re going to be able to trust us enough to
come to us with a problem.” Colm stood. “Now, I’m going to walk over there
because the lesson’s over and it’s time for us to leave you to your rest.”

She didn’t understand why he had to come over here since the
lesson was over, but his approach didn’t panic her. He walked over and stood
beside Linc and looked at her for a moment. It wasn’t the predatory appraisal
of earlier. This was softer. It almost seemed as if he was trying to discover
what she was thinking and feeling just by watching her.

“The lesson tonight has relieved a few of my worries, and in
spite of the fact that I really didn’t want to do it, I needed this.” She
looked from one to the other expecting one of them to say good night or
goodbye.

“That’s good. You’ve been worrying too much.” Colm brushed
his fingers along her jaw. “I’d kiss you, but it would probably send you
running. I will do it soon, though. I want you to think about that and try to
see past whatever fears are holding you back from what you want, because we
know what we want.”

Cami stared at him wide-eyed. Her skin seemed
hypersensitive. That simple touch radiated over her body. Such a light touch
shouldn’t have that effect. She licked her lips, unsure of what to say or how
to respond. The man was too confident and she felt lost.

“Good night, Cami. We’ll see you in the morning.” Linc’s
fingers touched her hand again and then he turned and went to the door.

Colm’s eyes ran over her face for a long moment before he
followed. She trailed after him and locked the door. She needed to rest, but
with everything they’d said tonight, she was fairly sure she wouldn’t get much
sleep.

Chapter Seven

Cami looked around the square outside of the gatehouse on
Katori, the homeworld of Tobai
Thent
. The village here was bigger than
she’d actually expected. It was all more than she’d imagined. Santir warriors
guarded the gatehouse. Cream-colored buildings trimmed with dark-brown wood
surrounded the cobbled area. As far as she could tell, the cobbled streets
continued throughout the town.

A stall selling fruits offered their wares beside another
stand selling bread. The heady scent of the fresh bread combined with the
luscious sweet smell of fruit made her hungry even though she’d recently eaten.
She knew from a few comments that this wasn’t the main market. The booths here
offered the wares of a few enterprising people in an effort to take advantage
of the hunger of those who came to the gatehouse, but didn’t wander far from
it.

The young, brown-haired woman behind the fruit stall smiled
suddenly and ran out from behind it. She sprinted across the square and dashed
through the group of Santir. Cami turned in time to see her jump into the arms
of one of Linc and Colm’s men. She thought his name was Anton, but she wasn’t
sure.

The woman kissed him soundly and her arms tightened in a
fierce hug. One of his large arms banded around her waist, holding her to him,
and his free hand cupped the back of her head. Cami looked away, feeling as if
she was intruding.

She moved to the side and stayed out of the way as the men
led the
mican
and
michkal
from the travel-gate house. She was
relieved to have some time relatively alone, although she knew there were those
who kept a discreet eye on her.

Her prediction last night had proved true. She hadn’t gotten
much sleep.

The feeling of being hunted and trapped had kept her on
edge. She didn’t have a plan to deal with their pursuit. Until Laed and Kynar
had been stopped, she couldn’t leave, although she wanted to run. Cami saw the
young woman return to her stall, holding hands with the warrior. She smiled at
the gesture. From the way the warrior looked down at her, Cami knew the woman
was more than just a willing bed partner.

Cami would like to wander around the village a little and
explore. She was restless and would have liked to stretch her legs after riding
to the gate, but Colm and Linc had told her to stay in the square. She wasn’t
happy about it, but it wasn’t something she was going to defy them over.
Especially not since she was still a little unsure of them. That made her feel
a little bit cowardly.

The thought shot through her. She straightened. She wasn’t a
coward. She’d been hurt, but that shouldn’t take away who she was. They weren’t
her Ardin. She was here by her own choice. If she wanted to explore, then she’d
explore. Aside from that, this was a good time to test them. They were in a
public place and there would be others around to help if they did turn out to
be the kind of men she shouldn’t trust.

She didn’t hesitate any longer. The men set to watch her
might stop her before she left the square, but being cautious wasn’t going to
get her anywhere. She wanted to give it a try before she decided it was
impossible. Without glancing around to see who was watching, she simply began
walking for one of the exits to the square.

When she reached it, she fully expected to be stopped and
questioned. She held her breath. Her tension grew with each step she took. When
she managed to get down the street and around a corner, she exhaled and looked
back over her shoulder just to see if they were following her. She didn’t
recognize any people along the lane.

Shrugging, she turned and began walking down the narrow
street again. If they wanted her to stop, they were going to have to come after
her. She wasn’t going to go back. This might be the one time she could wander
free without too much worry. Laed and Kynar would follow eventually, but she
thought she was safe for now. Well, aside from having to deal with Colm and
Linc’s anger. That was something she knew she’d have to face soon, but she was
going to enjoy herself in the meantime.

She enjoyed looking at the houses as she tried to find the
market. Although the color of the buildings changed, the style and the
dark-brown trim remained the same. She wandered through the streets until she
finally came to the market.

Brightly colored awnings hung over the tables and stalls
lining the market street. People moved slowly down the street or perused the
wares available. A smile curved her lips as she moved into the bustling area.
Inhaling, she took in the exotic smells. The scent of spices and flowers filled
her senses. She moved from one stall to the other, mainly looking because she
really didn’t need anything. A stall of necklaces and bracelets did draw her
back more than once. She admired the beautiful jewelry on display.

“There you are. You’re supposed to be back there in the
square. Colm and Linc have definitely noticed you’re missing.” Avan’s hand
turned her as he came up beside her.

“So they’ve noticed I’m missing.” She shrugged and shot Avan
a look. She didn’t know why he was worried about it. “I technically don’t have
to follow their orders. They aren’t my Ardin.”

Avan shook his head and she heard him groan. “This isn’t the
time for you to start getting your spirit back. And you know they consider you
more than some guest who’s free to come and go as she pleases. I’ve seen the
way they watch you.”

“And when is the time for me to get my spirit back?” She
smiled because he was right. She was slowly returning to normal and that was
something that she hadn’t expected to happen, especially not while she was with
any sort of
Thent
.

“Don’t try to ignore the rest of what I said. You’re just
lucky I heard them asking about you as I was coming around the corner. They
didn’t see me. Let’s go back to the square before someone else finds you.” Avan
took her arm and tugged gently.

“Avan, I don’t need you protecting me from them,” she
sighed. Although it was nice of him to try, in a way, she needed to know what
they would do if she made them really angry.

“I don’t think you mean it the way I want you to, do you?”
Avan smiled. “You’re a long way from trusting them enough to know that they’d
never hurt you as you fear. I know you don’t need me to protect you, but let me
make this time easier. You can test them later once you know more about them.”

“Why shouldn’t I test them now? What’s going to change
between now and whenever I know more about them?” She began walking with him,
but wasn’t agreeing to let him help her. Whatever that entailed.

“When you know more of them, you’ll know that you’re not in
the same kind of danger you lived through with Laed and Kynar. Colm and Linc
aren’t vicious. They can control their tempers.” Avan began leading her back
through the narrow streets to the square.

“I’m supposed to learn all of that without ever seeing them
angry and making them that way myself. How will I truly know that they’re not
going to suddenly slap me across the room if I don’t push the control you say
they have?” She tilted her head and looked over at Avan. He didn’t understand
how bad it had been and how hard it was for her to give her trust to someone.
She needed proof, not just assurances. “And I’d rather find out what they’ll do
in public where I have a real chance of getting some help if I need it.”

Avan sighed. “You won’t need it, but I’ll let you do it your
way.”

“Thank you.” She kept her lips in straight line and didn’t
comment on his letting her do it her way.

“Hey, if you’d rather feel the sharp edge of their tongue
and see just how they react when you test them instead of letting me take the
pressure off you, that’s your choice, although it’s not the smartest thing
you’ve done.” Avan shrugged. “Let’s get back so we can get this over with.”

She laughed softly. “You’re acting as if it’s you who’s
going to be in trouble.”

“I just think you should move more cautiously. You’re only
now getting to a point where you’re not cringing every time they come near you.
I know they won’t hit you as you fear, but they could get too close to you and
scare you with their intensity.” Avan didn’t look back at her as they
approached the square.

She wanted to protest the cringing every time Colm and Linc
came near her, but she couldn’t do that honestly. She was honest enough to
admit that she’d cringed a few times when any man drew close. Maybe he was
exaggerating a little, but she knew she was wary around them especially. She
hadn’t realized that it had been so obvious to everyone else. She was tempted
to ask Avan if he’d seen it because he knew her, but right now, that wasn’t
important.

“This is something I have to know before I find myself
trapped within the walls of their
Thent
. People say so many things. Some
are lies, but it’s how they behave when stressed that reveals the proof. I need
to know that I’ll be safe with them until we catch Laed and Kynar.” She kept
her voice low. She didn’t want anyone close to them to overhear her reasons. It
was bad enough admitting to the fear, having everyone know the details would be
even worse.

“You already know it, Cami. You wouldn’t be here if you
didn’t. You wouldn’t have even tried to find them if part of you wasn’t
absolutely sure that you could trust them with your life.” Avan shook his head,
but kept his voice as low as she had.

She shrugged. Even if that were true, there was part of her
that didn’t know it. The doubts floated around in her head and she couldn’t get
them to stop. How was she supposed to know who could be trusted?

Cami didn’t have time to think of a reply. They walked into
the square and Cami felt her breath lock in her throat at what she saw across
the market. It wasn’t the Ardin. She hadn’t spotted them yet. It was a man in a
long white and black robe.

She hadn’t seen one of them for years, but fear surged
through her. That robe had haunted her nightmares after her brief brush with
one of the monks. He’d only grabbed her arm. No lasting damage. Even now she
could hear her mother’s voice telling her what would happen if they ever
succeeded in taking her.

She hoped they didn’t have a monastery on this planet. After
the initial surge of fear faded, she realized they couldn’t be after her, but
they were talking to an older woman as well as the young woman she’d seen hug
Anton earlier. That concerned her.

“Cami, there you are. Where were you?” Colm strode across
the square and met them as they entered it.

“I went for a walk. I was restless.” She shrugged as if it
should have been fairly obvious. It was her first tactic in dealing with them.
If feigning confident unconcern didn’t work, she’d try something else.

“You were told to stay in the square. Was something about
that unclear?” Linc’s brows drew down over his green eyes.

She drew in slow breath before answering. “No, I understood
that you wanted me here. I wanted to explore a little.”

She kept her eyes on both of them. Laed and Kynar had taught
her that she couldn’t focus only on the man who was talking. When it came to
men who ruled together, a woman also had to be aware of the silent one.
Sometimes, the one who was just standing there glaring needed watching even
more than the one who was raging.

Colm’s jaw clenched, but he didn’t say a word. His muscles
tensed and his arms hung at his sides, but at least his hands weren’t clenched.
In a way, that worried her more than the clear anger she could hear in Linc’s
voice. She wished he would say something so she could get a gauge on exactly
what he was feeling and what he’d do.

“You wanted to explore. And our order to you meant nothing
to you?” Linc took a step forward.

“I’m here to help stop Laed and Kynar, not join a
Thent
.
When it comes to that, I’ll heed your word, and if there was some danger, I’d
probably follow it there too, but a walk through the streets here isn’t in any
way dangerous.” She shot Linc a tight smile and shifted her feet a little. She
wanted to be able to move as fast as possible if Linc came any closer.

She saw Colm’s eyes narrow and then he relaxed suddenly. He
shook his head.

“You’re pushing. Are you afraid that we’ll get too close?
That you won’t want to keep us at a distance?” One of Linc’s hands braced on
his hip as he leaned even closer.

“She’s testing us and you’re making her nervous.” Colm put
his hand on Linc’s shoulder.

Linc’s eyes widened and he stared at her, but he did step
back. “What were you hoping to accomplish by that? We told you we wouldn’t hurt
you.”

“People say things and mean them at the time, but I couldn’t
really know without proof. I still don’t know.” She frowned and shook her head.
She really hadn’t expected them to figure it out that quickly. It had been a
failure. She’d wanted to see their reactions and wouldn’t know now. At least,
not until it was too late.

Linc’s hand thrust through his hair. “Argh, you’re going to
have to trust us sometime, Cami. I know your past makes you wary of men.”

“Yet she pushed and tested.” Colm’s voice held a little
satisfaction.

Cami couldn’t work out what about that would make him happy.
They’d both been angry that she hadn’t followed their orders until he’d worked
out that she was trying to get a reaction. She’d thought he’d be angry simply
because she’d done it and see it as another sign of distrust.

Linc blinked and he slowly relaxed. “Yes, she did. You
pushed when you knew that it would make us angry.”

She had no idea which way their minds were going, but it
apparently didn’t follow the line of her thinking or reality. “I wanted to do
it when there were people around in case I needed help.”

“That was probably part of your thinking. But would you have
done it when you first met us?” Colm’s head tilted and his hair fell over his
shoulder.