Hero of Mine (6 page)

T
YLER AND HIS
friends were out at Mick's, a military bar in Old Town, shooting pool and drinking beer. Although they used to hang out several times a week, with Martinez and Sparks both in serious relationships, they had cut it down to just once, maybe twice. It sucked for Tyler, because this time out with his friends was almost cathartic. They talked about all the shit going on personally and at the program; anything he needed to get off his chest, he could do on nights like this.

He stood at the edge of the pool table, drinking from his beer glass, and realized that this time was coming to an end. Tyler was twenty-eight, and already his group of single friends was down by half. It wouldn't be long before Kline got back out there and met someone new, and then he'd be the last man standing.

Sure, there were other trainers he could hang with, but these were the men he'd been through some shit with. And not just group therapy—he knew he could call on them anytime, and they would have his back.

Friends like that were hard to find, and it sucked to lose them.

“Yo, Best, mind if we join you?” a woman asked behind Tyler. He turned around and found Megan Bryce, one of the newest Alpha Dog trainers, standing with Slater Vincent. Slater had been assigned to Alpha Dog right before Bryce and was a silent dude, hardly the social type with anyone except Bryce.

Tyler couldn't blame the man. Bryce's thick brown hair, clear blue eyes, and compact body were definitely attractive.

Damn, Tyler was going to have to add another type of woman to avoid: the coworker. Because every fiber of his being was tempted to flirt with her.

“No, you're both welcome, but you get the next round,” Tyler said.

Tyler's phone started buzzing in his pocket, and when he pulled it out to check the screen, an unknown number flashed at him. He was tempted not to answer it, but he found himself sliding his thumb across the green phone icon.

“Hello?” Damn, it was hard to hear in the loud bar. “Hang on a second; I'm having trouble hearing you.” Pushing his way up the stairs through the throng of bodies, he finally made it outside onto the planked walkway. “Sorry, who is this?”

“Is this Tyler Best?” a woman asked.

Tyler started to get antsy, wondering if this was a former lover calling with bad news. “Yeah, that's me.”

“Mr. Best, this is Fiona McCarthy at Mercy San Juan. I'm calling about Henry Coleson. He has you listed as his next of kin, is that right?”

Ah, no.

“Yes, that's correct.”

“I am very sorry to call like this, but Henry passed away forty-five minutes ago,” she said.

“What do I need to do?” he asked.

“Well, his instructions include being cremated, and he left detailed instructions for you, as well as a private letter. If it's a bad time, you can come by and pick up everything tomorrow, and we can release him to the crematorium then—”

“I'll come now,” Tyler said.

“Oh, all right. Well, I'll have everything waiting for you.”

“I appreciate that. Thanks.”

Tyler hung up the phone and swiftly sent a text to Kline, letting him know where he'd gone. Tyler hadn't talked about Henry to anyone but Blake. Not because he didn't trust his other friends, but because . . . Hell, he just hadn't.

Damn, he couldn't believe he was gone. He'd been preparing for this moment since the first day he met Henry, but he hadn't actually ever pictured how he'd react. For someone he hadn't even known a year ago, Henry had touched something inside him.

But when Henry had told him he had nobody, Tyler hadn't realized what he'd actually meant. That Tyler was the only person in the world he could release his body to. A guy he had only known six months.

How fucking sad was that?

T
YLER STOOD AT
the top of the scenic overlook on Highway 50 several days later, looking out over the view. The blue of Lake Tahoe was almost crystalline in the early morning sunlight, the rays twinkling off the surface from a distance.

Tyler held the urn that held Henry Coleson's ashes and a bottle of whiskey in the other. Henry's letter was stuffed into his back pocket, but the instructions were burned into Tyler's brain.

No one was traveling this early on a Friday, so Tyler dumped the container of ashes over the side of the mountain, watching them float down like a gray cloud into the fog below. Setting the container by his feet, he opened up the bottle of Jack Daniel's and held the bottle up.

“Henry, if you're looking down right now, I want you to know that I could get arrested for this.”

He could practically hear the wheezy chuckle on the wind.
Just shut the fuck up and get it done, you pussy.

Tyler took a swig, letting the liquor light a fire down his throat and blamed it for the tears in his eyes. After pouring some over the side after the ashes, Tyler replaced the lid and went back to his car, shivering against the cold.

On his passenger seat sat a box of Henry's things, and the rest Tyler had put in his place while he figured out what to do with them. It had been a little funny that Henry's small, one-bedroom apartment had been better furnished than Tyler's big house, but it was going through Henry's personal items that had really gotten to him.

Tyler pulled the letter out of his pocket and sat there on the shoulder for a moment. Henry had left him all his worldly possessions and the money left in his savings and checking accounts, which hadn't been a ton but was still enough to pay for Henry's cremation with some left over.

He didn't care about the money, though. He unfolded the letter, reading Henry's words again with a sad smile.

Tyler,

We both knew this was coming, and I wanted to be prepared before I got called home. I know it's weird putting the responsibility of my aftercare on your shoulders, but like I said, I was only ever good at two things, and keeping friends wasn't one of them. I lost them to war or suicide or because I slept with their wives. I was a pretty shitty guy, and I have a feeling I'm not meeting Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

From the minute I bumped into you on the way to radiology, I've looked at you like the son I could have had, if I'd ever pulled my head out of my ass and settled down. And I see the path you're headed for. You're a good man. Hell, you'd have to be to visit this old asshole in and out of the hospital for six months.

But you gotta have more to your life to make it meaningful. Meet a nice girl, and get married. Pop a couple of kids out, and be good to them. That way, when it's your time to say good-bye, someone really cares.

When I was pushing forty, I met this beautiful girl named Vicky. I was stationed in San Diego, and she was working as a waitress at this restaurant my friends and I used to haunt. She was going to college part-time for her degree. She wanted to be a teacher, have a bunch of kids, and I loved her, at least, as much as I could have. But I started to doubt myself, especially watching how many of my friends sank into a shit hole of drugs and drink. When the chance came for me to serve in the Gulf War, I took it and told her I was leaving. When she asked what it meant for us, I told her not to wait. And she listened to me. I tried to track her down when I got back, but I had missed my chance. She married and had the kids she wanted, and she's still alive, living in Arizona.

The point of the story is, don't miss yours. Watch for every sign the universe throws your way. I know I sound like a fucking sentimental idiot, but you can learn from me. Don't spend your life looking for the next thing that's going to make you feel good for a few minutes; look for something that is going to make you happy for decades.

That's it. That's all I can leave you with, besides all the shit I collected over my life. Throw it away or pack it up to show your kids someday that you knew this guy once who did a few things.

Take Care,

Henry Coleson

Tyler put the letter in the box and started his car up, then headed down the grade toward Lake Tahoe, thinking about the letter. Just because he liked his life the way it was didn't mean he was going to end up alone. He had plenty of time to settle down. Besides, he didn't screw his friends over.

And how many women have you screwed and never called again? Doesn't exactly make you a good guy.

Tyler ignored the voice and kept driving toward salvation. He'd booked a room for two nights in Tahoe, and Blake was going to meet him later. Gambling, drinking, and dancing were exactly what he needed.

But as the hotels of the strip came into view, Henry's words played through his head.

You gotta have more to your life to make it meaningful . . . Don't ignore the signs.

D
ANI WAS IN
the kitchen making breakfast for Noah when her best friend, Lana Davison, called. Lana and she didn't talk very often, maybe once every couple of weeks, but they were still close. Things had changed when Dani had become a mom. Lana would call up and ask her to go dancing or to lunch, but Dani either couldn't because of Noah or needed to bring him along. After a while, the invitations had become less frequent, and when Lana had celebrated her twenty-fourth birthday with a trip up to Tahoe, Dani had tried not to be hurt that she wasn't even invited.

They'd finally talked about what was going on and were in a good place again, but Dani couldn't deny that their friendship was forever changed.

“Hey, Lan, how are you?”

“I'm engaged!” Lana screamed.

Dani spilled the milk she'd been pouring on the counter with a cry. “Oh my God, congratulations! Nick proposed? When?”

“Last night. He took me out to dinner and tied the ring to a glass of champagne.”

“That is romantic! I am so happy for you.” Dani ignored the twinge of jealousy stirring in her gut.

“Thank you! And as my oldest friend, I need you to be my maid of honor!”

Dollar signs flashed across Dani's eyes as she thought about all the responsibilities. Organizing the bridal shower and bachelorette party, buying the bridesmaid dress and shoes. Hair appointments, nail appointments, gifts.

Swallowing down the bile of panic, she said, “When is the wedding?”

“We're thinking of June but haven't nailed down an exact date yet.”

Relief seeped through her. She could build up her savings and be able to work with that.

“Okay, I should be able to handle that.”

“What do you mean?” Lana asked.

“Well, I just took on a second job a few weeks ago, and my car bit the dust the same day that Noah had to spend the night at the hospital because he was puking blood. Thank God he didn't have to have surgery, but I'm going to have some hefty bills hitting me this month, and I was just panicked for a moment, but I think it will all work out great.”

Lana was silent on the other end.

“Lana? Did I lose you?”

“No, I'm here.” Her tone was curt, and Dani wondered what in the hell she'd said.

“Is something wrong?”

“I called to share something wonderful with you, and you act as if I'm inconveniencing you.”

Dani was completely floored. “That's not what I was doing! I said I could do it but was just telling you, my friend, about the horrible week I've had. And did you miss the part about my son
puking blood
?”

“Yes, I heard you, and he's obviously fine. I just can't believe how self-centered you've become. Every time I call you, no matter what is going on with me, it always gets turned around to you and that kid.”

Now Dani's skin prickled with fury, and her voice came out tight. “ ‘That kid' is my son. And I'm sorry that I don't have anything more stimulating for you besides talking about him, but this is my life. I work and I come home and love my kid.”

“Well, that's just sad.”

The sneer was evident without Dani even seeing it, and Dani's eyes stung with tears of hurt and anger.

“You know what, Lana? You should pick someone else, because I'm obviously not the right person to be your maid of honor.”

“Fine.”

The call ended with a beep as Lana hung up, and Dani put her cell down, silently saying good-bye to the last friend she had outside of work. All of her other high-school buddies had drifted off after she'd quit the party scene, but Lana had stuck with her.

Was she self-centered? Dani didn't think so, but looking back on conversations she'd had with Lana or the few times they'd gone out, she couldn't totally ignore the fact that the conversation would often come back to Noah. Noah getting his first tooth, his first steps, and all the other amazing things he did. At least, amazing for her.

But even if she talked about Noah a lot, Lana was wrong. She'd slowly been easing Dani out of her life, and this apparently had been the final test: Would Dani choose Lana?

As sad as it was to say good-bye to the last piece of her past, Dani also felt a tremendous amount of relief. She deserved friends whose values and place in life matched her own. For too long, Lana and she had been trying to stay friends even though it almost came out forced, as if waiting for things to go back to the way things were.

But life was forever changing, and people drifted apart.

Lana's words still ate at her, though.
That kid.
It reminded her of Tyler and his wisdom about how some men just weren't ready for the responsibility of becoming a parent. Just like some people couldn't understand how the needs of her child were more important than a three-hundred-dollar dress and a night out with strippers. Those kinds of people were the ones she should be avoiding anyway.

“Mama?” Noah toddled into the kitchen, finally giving up on his Duplo block tower.

“Hey, sweetie, wanna help me with breakfast?” She picked him up in her arms and kissed his temple.