He's Come Undone (14 page)
Five months later ~ Ellie
It seems kind of magical the way it happened, the way Julian and I met and how it all progressed, one perfect and disastrous and perfect piece following another. Every day I worry that it will somehow end, but I try to tell myself to enjoy it. Julian has confessed that he feels the same nagging sense of worry, but when two messed-up people meet and find each other it’s understandable that we’re cautious and wonder if this is real. But as more time passes, and more good things continue to happen and nothing blows up in our faces, we’ve begun to think that this gift has been dropped in our laps and our job is to simply cherish it.
And yes, Julian will forever be scarred in a way that I can never even imagine, and I will be scarred in a way that a weird childhood and the betrayal of a mother can only scar a person. But I trust Julian in all things, and I’m pretty sure he trusts me in all things.
I’ve moved in with him since I was staying at his apartment most of the time anyway. It’s a cute place on the third floor of a red brick building, with ivy beginning to turn green now that spring has hit.
My agent called me again, and this time it wasn’t for a reality show but a part in a movie being made right in Minneapolis by the famous writer/director brothers we claim as our own even though they grew up in a nearby suburb. I have the partial script and I play a quirky sister to a guy who just got out of prison and is looking for his next heist. I think it’s supposed to be funny but I’m not sure yet. You never know about those brothers. Other unbelievable news?
Mad Maddy
has gone into syndication, which means a steady income for me. Which means I can go to the University of Minnesota this fall.
I think about my life six months ago, and think about my life now, and I can’t believe it. Almost like Julian brought something with him, like something right happened, and everything else fell into place.
Julian is back to long-distance running, although I doubt he’ll ever come close to his marathon time of several months ago. I hope not.
The running replaces medication. Running and me are all he needs, he tells me. And I tease him and say running is his girlfriend and I’m his BFF.
I jog with him on the trail along the Mississippi, and it’s sweet the way he takes it slow and sometimes tells me he needs a break even though I know he doesn’t. So we sit on a bench and stare at the water, sometimes touching, sometimes not.
Today as we sit, the sun is shining down on our heads, warming our long bare legs, and there’s this feeling of promise that’s more than just the promise of warmer weather.
Valerie is now talking to me on the phone, and she’s more the girl I met that day when we shared tea. She even told me she realizes I’m the reason for Julian’s improvement. That both scares the hell out of me and thrills me, because I worry about what would happen to him if something happened to me. Like what if I got hit by a car crossing the street. Or what if a plane fell out of the sky on top of me. These are the things I sometimes think about because our lives are so intertwined. It’s a responsibility, this love thing.
And me… Julian and Valerie don’t realize it since neither of them knew me before, but I’m more my old self, the old Ellie before she was beaten down by life. Before my mother did those awful things to me. Before her cancer and death.
Love can mess you up and make you go crazy, but it can also fix you.
“What do you think about getting a dog?” Julian asks. “A puppy. I know it’ll be a lot of work, but…”
Puppies symbolize family. Long-term commitment. I imagine a puppy in our apartment. Imagine it running and sliding across the hardwood floor. We’ll get a puppy together; bring it home, to
our
home.
“I don’t know much about dogs,” I say. “I mean, training dogs. We never had any pets when I was a kid. My mother said they were too much work.”
“We always had dogs. Dogs are good.”
The fact that he can talk about something from his past in such a positive way is another sign of healing.
Without discussion, we get to our feet and return to the jogging path.
Back home, as the sun sets and the air gets that night chill to it that smells like damp soil, I shut the kitchen window and we sit down, Julian with his school work, me with lines I’m memorizing for the movie. Occasionally I reach across the table and touch him almost absent-mindedly, and sometimes he gets to his feet and brings us both a cup of tea, his hand on my shoulder as he places the steaming mug on the table. I look up at him, at his blue eyes and his dark curly hair hanging over his forehead, his jaw that needs a shave, and I think,
You are so loved
.
Do you know how loved?
He knows. Of course he knows. How can he not? But I think people need to hear the words.
Words I’ve not yet spoken because I worry about scaring him, which is silly considering how crazy he is about me. And then again, maybe I’m saving the words, savoring the words in my head. But it’s almost time to release them.
Maybe today.
Maybe right now.
He’s back in his seat, leaning over his textbook, the hanging antique lamp above the table casting him in lovely shadow, accentuating his cheekbones as he concentrates. I want to pull out my phone and take a picture of him, capture this moment.
Instead, I once again stretch my arm across the table, lightly touching the back of his hand and the curve of his knuckles. He looks up, ready to smile, and then he sees my face and watches me with curious expectation. A heart unbroken.
~
~
~
The end…and the beginning…
~~~
City of Lakes
New Adult contemporary romances set in Minneapolis, Minnesota
Come As You Are
He’s Come Undone
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New Adult contemporary romances with a touch of magical realism:
The cat tattoo books are set in Minneapolis and Saint Paul, Minnesota. These novellas are sweet New Adult contemporary romances partially told from a cat’s point-of-view.
Theresa Weir (a.k.a. Anne Frasier) is a
New York Times
and
USA Today
bestselling author of twenty-five books and numerous short stories that have spanned the genres of suspense, mystery, thriller, romantic suspense, paranormal, fantasy, and memoir. During her award-winning career, she’s written for Penguin Putnam, Simon & Schuster, HarperCollins Publishers, Bantam Books/Random House, Silhouette Books, Grand Central Publishing/Hachette, and Thomas & Mercer. Her titles have been printed in both hardcover and paperback and translated into twenty languages.
Her first memoir, THE ORCHARD, was a 2011 Oprah Magazine Fall Pick, Number Two on the Indie Next list, a featured B+ review in Entertainment Weekly, and a Librarians’ Best Books of 2011. Her second memoir, THE MAN WHO LEFT, was a New York Times Bestseller. Going back to 1988, Weir’s debut title was the cult phenomenon AMAZON LILY, initially published by Pocket Books and later reissued by Bantam Books. Writing as Theresa Weir, she won a RITA for romantic suspense (COOL SHADE), and a year later the Daphne du Maurier for paranormal romance (BAD KARMA). In her more recent Anne Frasier career, her thriller and suspense titles hit the USA Today list (HUSH, SLEEP TIGHT, PLAY DEAD) and were featured in Mystery Guild, Literary Guild, and Book of the Month Club. HUSH was both a RITA and Daphne du Maurier finalist. Well-known in the mystery community, she served as hardcover judge for the Thriller presented by International Thriller Writers, and was guest of honor at the Diversicon 16 mystery/science fiction conference held in Minneapolis in 2008. Frasier books have received high praise from print publications such as Publishers Weekly, Minneapolis Star Tribune, and Crimespree, as well as online praise from Spinetingler, Book Loons, Armchair Interviews, Sarah Weinman’s Confessions of an Idiosyncratic Mind, and Ali Karim’s Shots Magazine. Her books have featured cover quotes from Lisa Gardner, Jane Ann Krentz, Linda Howard, Kay Hooper, Jamie Ford, and Nicholas Sparks. She is a member of Sisters in Crime and International Thriller Writers.
The Orchard, a memoir
An Oprah Magazine Fall Pick
Featured B+ Review in Entertainment Weekly
Number Two on October Indie Next List
BJ’s Book Club Spotlight
LIbrarians’ Best Books of 2011
Maclean’s Top Books of 2011
On Point (NPR) Best Books of 2011
Abrams Best of 2011
Publishers Lunch (Publishers Weekly) Favorite Books of 2011
Eighth Annual One Book, One Community 2012, Excelsior, Minnesota
Target Book Club Pick, September 2012
Title List
Writing as
Anne Frasier
Hush, USA Today bestseller, RITA finalist, Daphne du Maurier finalist (2002)
Sleep Tight, USA Today bestseller (2003)
Play Dead, USA Today bestseller (2004)
Before I Wake (2005)
Pale Immortal (2006)
Garden of Darkness, RITA finalist (2007)
Once Upon a Crime anthology, Santa’s Little Helper (2009)
The Lineup, Poems on Crime, Home (2010)
Discount Noir anthology, Crack House (2010)
Deadly Treats Halloween anthology, editor and contributor, The Replacement (September 2011)
Once Upon a Crime anthology, Red Cadillac (April 2012)
Woman in a Black Veil (July 2012)
Dark: Volume 1 (short stories, July 2012)
Dark: Volume 2 (short stories, July 2012)
Black Tupelo (short-story collection July 2012)
Girls from the North Country (short story, August 2012)
Made of Stars (short story, August 2012)
Stars (short story collection, August 2012)
Zero Plus Seven (anthology, 2013)
From the Indie Side (February, 2014)
Stay Dead (April, 2014)
Writing as
Theresa Weir
The Forever Man (1988)
Amazon Lily, RITA finalist, Best New Adventure Writer award, Romantic Times (1988)
Loving Jenny (1989)
Pictures of Emily (1990)
Iguana Bay (1990)
Forever (1991)
Last Summer (1992)
One Fine Day (1994)
Long Night Moon, Reviewer’s Choice Award, Romantic Times (1995)
American Dreamer (1997)
Some Kind of Magic (1998)
Cool Shade RITA winner, romantic suspense (1998)
Bad Karma, Daphne du Maurier award, paranormal (1999)
Max Under the Stars, short story (2010)
The Orchard, a memoir (September, 2011)
The Man Who Left , a memoir and New York Times bestseller (April, 2012)
The Girl with the Cat Tattoo (June, 2012)
Come As You Are (October, 2013)
The Geek with the Cat Tattoo (December, 2013)
He’s Come Undone (March, 2014)
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XO
Belfry Press
