Hesparia's Tears (8 page)

Then Galan had steered her to the cabin and she had sort of half relaxed. Her body still shook from the stress and fright, shivering. Needing the reassurance that she knew only he could give. But her brain had entered a whole new twilight zone. His presence comforted her, leaving her with the impression of safety and security. The nightmares she had lived through in the hospital were bad enough, but she feared that it would be worse after seeing the protestors. Her mouth had engaged before her brain had considered the ramifications of the question. Asking him to stay the night? What on earth had possessed her?

But now, here he was—smiling at her in his enigmatic fashion. She took in the blond hair, the muscular and incredibly toned body hidden under his shapeless coverall. She could feel the heat of his body and his piercing blue eyes promised depths she wanted to fall into. The hard planes of his face were inscrutable and she held her breath as he advanced. He towered over her. Her stomach pitched and yawed as barely suppressed emotions swamped her.

Does he want to…sleep with me?
She couldn’t stop the thought and her knees barely felt able to hold her upright. Blindly Jessa groped for the bed and sat heavily, the breath rushing from her lungs with a loud sigh.

“Do you wish to talk?” His voice was warm and she melted a little more. He moved over to the bed then sat down. His actions rolled her towards him. The scent of him, masculine but with just a hint of pine, filled her senses. Just as she was ready to reach out and grasp his shoulders to haul him closer, he moved.
What the…?
Her beleaguered brain couldn’t easily compute as the rush of sexual arousal filled her.
Why has he moved away?

She looked up at him. His face was implacable. “So, what would you like to discuss?” His words were cold and distant, but the tic at his cheek told her he wasn’t as unaffected as he made out. The tension seeped from her body as she looked at his hands, so tightly curled into a hard cold fist, the way the muscles in his legs strained beneath the fabric of his pants and the bulge that she was sure she could detect.
No. He definitely wasn’t unaffected.

“Do we…do we have to talk?” She had whispered the words, watching him shut his eyes and shame filled her. Neither of them were sure of the other and her whim was obviously making him very uncomfortable. She sighed. “Look, if you want… I’ll be…” Jessa gulped on the words as they stuck in her throat. “I’ll be fine.” She turned away, hoping he wouldn’t see the truth in her eyes. Of course, she wouldn’t be fine, but she could survive tonight. And every other one that came after.

He touched her shoulder gently. “No. I will stay with you. Watch over you.”

His words left her ready to weep. No one had ever been there just for her. Giving her the support she so desperately needed without seeing something for them in it. Her eyes burned and her throat dried. “Thank you.” Jessa struggled with her emotions, not turning around until she was sure she wouldn’t fall on him as a weeping mess. But when she did finally turn back to Galan, she could see the concern clear in his eyes.

“Better now?”

He knew. Darn him.
She had tried so hard to hide her emotions.

“Go prepare for your rest. I will wait here.”

She left him, retreating to the bathroom in silence, leaving him standing there in the centre of the room. But she was sure he was conscious of her, even through the solid walls.

* * * *

She slept soundly, curled into his arms and he ached with unfulfilled arousal. Since she had come out of the bathroom, quiet and somewhat withdrawn he’d watched her. She was like a ticking bomb to him. Any moment, he could expect another outpouring of sensual torture.
No. That’s not right.
She doesn’t do it consciously.
He remembered the way she had made her way to the bed. He had given the light the dim command as she’d crawled under the light covers. The loose robe had caught against the roundness of her buttocks and he’d had to look away as wild heat flooded his veins.

Now, here he lay, and all he wanted was to roll back, away from her siren-like form, but she had burrowed in, her cute little bottom curved in to his groin—the one that currently throbbed with an urgent ache. He swallowed heavily. He’d certainly never experienced this level of arousal with Gospah. So what did that say about him? Galan shied from the question as he shifted himself infinitesimally away. In her sleep Jessa whimpered, burrowed in again and settled herself.

He fought with his conscience. He could wake her. Make love with her. She certainly wouldn’t object if her actions earlier were any indicator. But that was wrong. She was under a lot of emotional stresses right now. She was dealing with her fear from their sudden parting. His breath caught. The pain that had lanced him during her absence was something he didn’t want to live through again. The
Quickening
meant that when couples were forced apart they physically yearned for the end of the pain that seared them. But if they chose to part, even for a planned period, they didn’t seem to be bothered by it.

He would need to ask his father—but not now. He couldn’t use the official channels to ask a question such as that. And he certainly wouldn’t bring Jessa under that level of scrutiny. With so many now unpartnered, there would be so much interest. An interest he feared she would find overwhelming—one that would drive her away. He still didn’t know if he could somehow get her to agree to go home with him. It meant leaving everything she knew behind. And he still had to make a case to the governments here to let him take several hundred females from this planet to his.

It had been sheer luck that they had brought the ship to this continent. Seth had made contact and they had answered. His crew had been able to triangulate his position and he had decided that was where they would make landfall.

His side twitched. Jessa shifted restlessly in her sleep. Galan looked down, feeling the warmth steal through his chest.
Smaller.
She was so much tinier than him, but he knew she would fit him perfectly. It made him feel manly and strong. He smiled at his own ruminations as his gaze roamed over her frame. Her perfect and firm breasts looked to be the right size for his hands and his body heated further, leaving him sweating. Her belly slightly rounded, unlike the women he had seen on their broadcasts, stick thin and awkwardly bony. How he wanted to touch Jessa’s skin, feel the weight of her body over his. He groaned slightly. This wasn’t helping. But the erotic thoughts continued.

She murmured in her sleep, “Galan…” then it became unintelligible once more.

He frowned seeing shivering under her skin as muscles tensed and relaxed. Her body stiffened again. He wrapped his arms around her. He’d keep the nightmares at bay, he told himself, closing his eyes. Jessa murmured again, this time her shoulder jerked into him. His eyes flashed open.

“Galan…no…” Her words became louder and his stomach clenched.

“Shhh,” he whispered into her ear. “It’s okay. You’re safe now. With me. Galan.”

 She shuddered and turned towards him, now wide awake. “Galan? I had a nightmare.” Her chest rose and fell against his arms. It was both agony and ecstasy for him.

“Yes. Go back to sleep. I am here.”

She hiccupped quietly. “Did I wake you? I’m sorry.” She tried to scoot away from him, but he held her in place.

“Stay still. You didn’t wake me.” He looked into her shining eyes and leaned in, planting a light, soft kiss on her plump pink lips. She moved her mouth against his, and he could taste her for just an instant. Galan pulled back. “Sleep now.” The walls glowed with subtle reds and pinks in the dim light. He avoided glancing again, waiting for her to answer him.

She nodded then nestled back, burning almost red hot. He listened for the sound of her breathing to even out once more. But it took a long time for Galan to find his rest.

Chapter Five

Jessa woke to find him gone. The bed was still warm though and as she looked at the walls, they shimmered with blues, greens, yellows and even pinks. Obviously the night had been peaceful after the nightmare. She rose quickly and hurried through her ablutions before she pulled on her clothes. She had learnt during her first visit to drop them into a special cupboard which used ionic waves to clean them.
Whatever that means.
So at least she wasn’t wearing the same clothes dirty, day after day.

Jessa hurried down the corridor towards the meal chamber and was surprised to find Seth sitting by himself. “Hey, you. How are you holding up?”

He gazed at her. “I’m ok. What about you?” He waited while Jessa grinned and patted the comfortably padded seat. “Come and take a load off and talk to me, before the others arrive.”

The padded cushions dipped beneath her as Jessa slid in beside him. “So, what do you want to talk about?”

“Look, I know I’m not the brightest on the block when it comes to social interactions and all, but honestly…what are you doing with Galan? He’s not planning to stay and unless you are intending…” Seth broke off, shock on his face. “You aren’t planning on going back with him are you?”

Something in Jessa’s chest started at the suggestion. “No! It’s not…” She looked around, seeing no one watching. “It’s not even been suggested. Besides, he wouldn’t want me. You saw his face when I was reminded of my altercation years ago. He’s a straight arrow and I’ve been judged. And found wanting too.”

Seth leant forward, placing a hand on hers as she looked down, eyes burning. No amount of furious blinking could banish the hot sting of tears as they rolled down her cheeks. She brushed them away with shaking fingers.

“God. I’m sorry, Jessa. I didn’t mean to—”

She cut him off. “No. You’re quite right. I’ve been living in a fantasy land since this whole thing started. The time has come to realise I can’t continue to think everything is going to be fine and dandy. Because it isn’t. Do I care for him? Yes, I do.” She looked up into Seth’s eyes. “But there‘s no future in thinking that it means he feels the same. So the question is where do we go from here?”

Scrubbing the traces of tears from her face was easier than scrubbing him from her heart. But she’d cleared away the traces of tears and had stopped hiccupping by the time Galan appeared in the doorway. His face was drawn and tight as he looked for her. Then it seemed to open once more. She wanted to cry at the injustice of life. But there was no benefit in that either. Instead Jessa sucked in deep breaths, scrubbed at her cheeks and hoped no one looked too closely at her.

He sat down and together Seth, Jessa and Galan broke their fast, enjoying some of the delights of Hesparia, including luscious blue peaches and purple nectarine-like fruits. But during the meal her thoughts whirled. Was staying here, on the ship with Galan, the right thing to do?

* * * *

Partway through the meeting, Jessa excused herself and left the room where they had convened for the last several days. She didn’t look back, fearing he would read her goodbye in her eyes. Once outside, she met the agent who had stayed with them. “Agent Foley? I have some other tasks to attend to. Can you please make my apologies?” He looked surprised but nodded in silence. Jessa headed the long way, to the back door and exited.

He wouldn’t miss her at all.
She walked down the driveway to the main gate, where lines of angry, loud protestors yelled and waved placards. The guards opened the gates for her and she left, gripping her mobile phone in one hand as she dialled for a taxi.

* * * *

The discussions continued with monotonous rhythm. Galan watched the men and continued to monitor the communication centre while his mind tossed and turned, realising that Jessa hadn’t returned to the room.
Where has Jessa gone?
After a suitable amount of time had passed, he pushed back his chair and rose. The discussions stopped as all eyes settled on him. But Galan didn’t care. Something had happened to Jessa. He left the room, his long strides stopped by the human agent who had accompanied them to the ship the night before. He held up a hand and Galan stopped, cocking his head to one side. “Jessa. Where is she?” The agent grimaced and a flash of fear coursed through Galan, but he controlled it. “She’s gone, hasn’t she?”

The big, dark-haired agent opened his mouth and closed it, answering with a single nod. Galan cursed. “When and how?”

“Sir, we believe she slipped through the back of the building. There’s an emergency exit at the back. She was seen leaving the compound. I have set an agent to follow her. We know she left in a taxi.”

Galan didn’t know what a taxi was, but right now that wasn’t the issue. Jessa was out there somewhere, far from him. Something he couldn’t and wouldn’t accept. Frustration assailed him.
Doesn’t she know she’s no ordinary woman now?
A thought occurred to him. With those people outside, what was the chance that she could be in danger? They’d been angry enough the day before to attempt to get to them before they could gain the eli-pad.

His face must have tightened for the agent stepped forward. “She will be protected for as long as we can manage it.” The words didn’t dispel the knot of worry that lodged in his chest. Curiously though, the ache in his chest had dissipated.
Does that mean she’s rejected the Quickening? I know so little about it…
Perhaps he could enquire with Joras, he might know what had caused that. But he couldn’t right now and that left him feeling useless.

“Take me to her.”

The agent’s eyebrows lifted, obviously he hadn’t expected that. “I’m sorry. I can’t do that, sir.” The agent sounded apologetic, but he had the impression he would stand firm, no matter what Galan demanded.

He raised a hand and raked it through his hair as he realised, yet again, that she still didn’t have a communicator. It was something he needed to remedy with all speed. Until she at least had that, he wouldn’t be able to rest. A beeping sound broke through the air and the agent moved. Galan watched as he spoke into the small device and obviously was angered by the information he was given.