Read Heteroflexibility Online

Authors: Mary Beth Daniels

Tags: #Fiction, #Humorous, #Humor, #General, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Contemporary Women, #Weddings, #gay marriage, #election, #Prop 8

Heteroflexibility (30 page)

BOOK: Heteroflexibility

His black bowling shoes were shined to a high gloss, and I could only stare them, refusing to look up. “But will they revoke all the marriage licenses? Will the Hoebags lose their married status?”

Martin(a) shoved another glass of champagne at me. “The attorney general will fight that. He’s on our side on this.”

By the time we left, the numbers were awful. 52 percent voting yes to ban. We left the gallery feeling morose and I wanted to talk to someone.

Even though it was 2 a.m. in Texas, I opened the door to my hotel room and flopped on the bed, turning to the speed dial on my cell phone. Bradford was number three, behind my dad and…Fern. I needed to delete her.

I sat by the bathroom counter, running my hands along the cold surface. After deciding to stay in San Diego, I had returned to the same hotel and asked for Bradford’s room. Sentimental foolishness, I knew, but it made me feel less lonely to know I had sat there with him. I faced the mirror as I peeled off the pink dress. My hair was beautiful still, straight to my shoulders. The underslip was loose and flattering, satiny and smooth.

I leaned against the wall and poised my finger over his name, nervous to call. He was probably sleeping. And it could be that he wasn’t alone.

The thought stopped me cold, and I set the phone down. We’d set the six months for a reason, so I could get divorced, and stop reeling from all the changes in my life.

But he was probably as upset as me. He might have even thought of me, hanging out with the Hoebags at Nikki’s, where they had planned to watch the returns.

I picked up the phone again and before I could stop myself, scrolled down to his name and pushed “call.”


Mary Beth’s favorite gay marriage links.


Prop 8: The Musical

Best Protest Signs EVAH

Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Ellen Degeneres on Prop 8




Get involved.


Join the Impact

National Center for Lesbian Rights

National Gay and Lesbian Task Force

The Human Rights Campaign

Freedom to Marry

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: Wedded Bliss

Chapter 2: The Dolt Bolts

Chapter 3: Presidential Debate

Chapter 4: Cheating Cheaters and the Two-Bit Hussies They Cheat With

Chapter 5: The Wicked Women Sisterhood

Chapter 6: Pack, Rats

Chapter 7: Get Your Game Face On

Chapter 8: Bottoms Up

Chapter 9: There’ll Be Sad Songs, to Make You …Trash Your CD Collection

Chapter 10: Sweet Destitution

Chapter 11: 24-Karat Hearts

Chapter 12: Emergency Paps

Chapter 13: Dating at the Speed of Flight

Chapter 14: Rainbows & Cadillacs, and Heterobashing Music

Chapter 15: Elevator Trolls

Chapter 16: Thirsty Birds and Nodding Donkeys

Chapter 17: Good Things Come to Those Who Bait

Chapter 18: Deep in the Heart of Testes

Chapter 19: The Ghost of Bitches Past

Chapter 20: All Hallow’s Evil

Chapter 21: Party on the Plane

Chapter 22: Signs, Signs, Everywhere Are Signs

Chapter 23: Hottiefication

Chapter 24: By the Light of Nikki’s Silvery Moon

Chapter 25: Here Come the Brides

Chapter 26: Road Rally

Chapter 27: Patty-Cakes

Chapter 28: Send in the Cavalry

Chapter 29: Hell’s Belles

Chapter 30: When Gary Wed Marvin

Chapter 31: Moon River. Sans Nikki’s Moon.

Chapter 32: Throwing in the Towel

Epilogue: The Happy Freaking Ending Everybody Insists On. Which Happened.

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