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Michael looked at her cu
riously, ‘How did you know he’s in Dublin right now?’

Kate shrugged, ‘He was here
yesterday, visiting Grainne,.’  She smiled to herself and said ironically, ‘He introduced himself.’

‘Oh?
  That’s odd; he hardly ever visits her.’  Michael shrugged and said, ‘Well, he’s going back to Cork this morning so you don’t have to worry.’  He lowered his voice, ‘I wouldn’t have invited you if I thought there was going to be anyone around.  So what do you say?’

‘Okay
, then,’ said Kate, ‘As long as we’re clear that nothing is going to happen between us.  And thanks. Listen, I have to go to Trinity now so I’ll just see you later, okay?’

He smiled back at her
, ‘Great.  You know, when you smile like that I could believe you were going there as a student rather than a teacher.  Has anyone ever told you that you look about twelve when you smile?’

‘Oh, I needed that!’ sighed Kate, ‘It’s a black lie, but
so
nice to hear all the same!  I’ll call round to your place about eight, okay?’

He nodded and walked away
and Kate turned to Cathy, seated behind her desk, and said, a shade irritably, ‘For God’s sake, Cathy, see that Grainne gets her cigarettes and lighter back, will you?  She’s not going to set herself or anything else on fire.  If anyone argues, Trevor included, tell them it’s on
my
authority, and he can ring me on my mobile if he has a problem with it.’

Cathy gave her an uncertain look, which Kat
e ignored; she felt sure that Grainne hadn’t started the fire, and posed no threat to anyone. 
Then who did?
  There was no answer to that just then and she put it aside till later, walking out of the clinic into the frosty air with a frown on her face and a less impenetrable question on her mind; was she making a mistake remaining friends with Michael? 
Could
she be friends with him, since he still clearly wanted more?  Should she just cut him out of her life altogether?

She sighed
as she got into her car: she hadn’t realised just how afraid she had been of being alone that night.  Why was she too proud to ask Peter to stick around for a few days, to protect her?  Worse still; was that to be her life from now on?  Running from one relationship with someone she cared nothing for to another just the same?  Avoiding love in case she was asked for more than she felt able to give?  It seemed so, especially as fear was such a large part of her life at the moment, and would be until she discovered who had attacked her that night in Trinity.  And, of course,
why?

    When Kate walked into Deacon House the next morning Trevor was standing in the lobby, talking to the day nurse.  When he saw Kate he broke off
abruptly and hurried over to her side, his eyes wide and his expression worried, ‘Jesus, Kate, are you all right?  I heard what happened last night on the news and I’ve been
frantic
with worry!  Where the hell have you been?  I’ve been trying to contact you all bloody night!’

Kate groaned internally; she had been hoping against hope that she might avoid him
on this of all mornings.  She forced a weary smile as he approached, though it hurt her face to do so.  Her left eye was blackened and hugely swollen, meaning she could barely see out of it.  ‘I’m all right, Trev,’ she said quietly, ‘It’s just a black eye, nothing serious.  I’m more tired than anything, since the police were questioning me most of the night.’

‘So what are you doing here?’ he demanded, concern making him sound almost angry. ‘You should be in bed!  If not in hospital.’

Kate slowly shook her head, ‘Please, Trev, don’t give me a hard time.’  Unshed tears glittered in her eyes, ‘I really couldn’t take it right now.’

All the energy instantly drained out of him and he put his arm around her sh
oulders and kissed her on the forehead, ‘Sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t mean to shout at you.  But you really should be in bed, you know.  Resting.’

She allowed herself to lean against his t
all, skinny frame for a moment before straightening up again, ‘I’m going to bed shortly, for about a week, but I want to see Grainne first.  I promised her I’d come see her today and I won’t break that promise.  Besides, there are things I need to discuss with her.’

Trevor’s eyes seemed to be boring straight through into her brain but his expression was kind as he gently said, ‘She’s your patient, do
what you want.  But don’t overdo it.  And then get yourself off home, for God’s sake.  Grainne won’t suffer a relapse just because you take a day off.  I’ve about a million questions for you myself but I’m nobly restraining my curiosity.  For your benefit, I might add; God knows what internal injury I’m doing myself.’

Kate slipped her arm
around his narrow waist in a brief, gentle hug and smiled, ‘Yes, Mom, I’ll take care of myself, I promise.  And I appreciate you curbing your prurient curiosity.  Believe me, I’ll tell you the whole story when I feel up to it.’  She turned and walked over to the staircase, morbidly aware of all the eyes that were following her but too tired to care.  After all that had happened to her recently a few people staring curiously at her could safely be classified as the least of her problems.  She finally reached Grainne’s new room and, after pausing for her usual, much-needed breaths, tapped gently on the door before saying, ‘Grainne?  It’s Kate, may I come in?’

Without waiting for an answer she opened the door and stepped inside.  Grainne was seated in the far corner of the room, a blank, lifeless expression on her face and in her eyes
that caused Kate’s heart to sink; just how far had she regressed since yesterday?  She was also, Kate was glad to notice, smoking a cigarette; Kate hated smoking but knew the importance of the filthy things to those addicted.  Besides, the unfortunate girl had few enough pleasures left in her life.

Kate brought over a chair and sat beside the girl, looki
ng around the room and reflecting that it wasn’t a patch on Grainne’s original quarters.  It only had an ugly view of leaded roofs out of the only window, for a start, and was much smaller and less well appointed.  Funny, she hadn’t really noticed the day before.  Making a mental note to have Grainne moved back to her old room as soon as the painters were finished repairing the fire-damaged corridor, Kate reached out and touched Grainne’s hand, ‘Are you listening to me, Grainne?  I need to talk to you.  I have some things to tell you that you need to hear.’

Grainne showed no signs of response and Kate took a
deep calming breath, marshalling her thoughts and wondering just how best to explain matters to the girl.  If indeed she could; some of what she had to say would be extremely painful for her, and indeed for Kate to relate, and most of it Grainne would not want to hear.  But for all that they were things which had to be said, for both their sakes.  But it had been a hellish twenty-four hours since they had last met and she hardly knew where to start.

‘Look at me, Grainne,’ she said in a low but firm voice.  Slowly the girl turned her head until her rem
ote, empty eyes met Kate’s.

‘I know why your dog didn’t protect you,’ said Kate softly, and instantly the girl froze, horror filling her eyes.  But
this she did not flee, did not attempt to escape to the safety of her magic field as she would once have, and Kate again reflected on what a huge debt was owed to Sarah McGrath.

‘
Dogs don’t usually bite family members, do they?  Only strangers,’ continued Kate gently but remorselessly, watching carefully for signs of fugue.  But there were none; perhaps the girl was ready to listen to the truth, if not yet to tell it.

‘I want to tell you a story,’ said Kate sadly, ‘A story about a girl who was molested and abused and finally raped by her father.  Not once but often.’  She reached forward and took Grainne’s hand, saying softly, ‘A little girl named Katie Bennett.’

Grainne was listening, there was no question about that, and there was confusion as well fear in her eyes as she met Kate’s gaze for the first time and mouthed,
You?

Kate nodded; old, bitter tears filling her eyes, and the unreasonable but somehow
ineradicable guilt staining her cheeks bright red, ‘Yes, me.’

Perhaps it was her very confusion that prevented Grainne from retreating, or relief that she was not the subject of discussion, but one way or the other her eyes w
ere unusually alert and she held Kate’s gaze, albeit skittishly.

‘It started when Katie was a little girl of ten or so,’ continued Kate in a low, dull voice, hating to probe that old,
still painful wound but knowing that she had no choice, that it was the only path to healing.  For herself, certainly, and perhaps for her patient too.  Perhaps this was the way to reach her, and guide her to safety.

‘Some
times when Mummy was out Daddy would come to her room.  He would tell her stories and play with her, and Katie was very happy.  But then one night Daddy started to touch Katie, and she was no longer so happy.  Because he touched her in secret places, and made her touch
him
.  She didn’t like it, and didn’t want to do it, but he found ways to make her.  She was only a child but she knew it wasn’t right, even though Daddy said it was okay.  He made it their special secret, and made Katie promise never to tell anyone.  Not anyone, not
ever
.  Because if Katie ever told anyone she would never see her Daddy again.  And Katie didn’t want that because she loved her Daddy.  She hated the things he did, and the things he made her do, but she loved
him
.  He was her
Daddy
.’

Tears were spilling down Kate’s face a
s her blind eyes stared inward into the past, and tears started on Grainne’s cheeks too, and she squeezed Kate’s hand in sympathy as if their roles had been reversed and she were now the bringer of comfort.

‘Then one night Daddy got into Katie’s bed,’ continued Kate in a dry, frozen
aching
voice, ‘And he forced himself inside little Katie.  And it hurt so
much,
and Kate cried and screamed but there was no one there to hear, no one to help her.  And afterwards Daddy cried too and promised never to do it again.  He hugged and kissed Katie and said how sorry he was, and how much he loved her.  He said too that if Katie told anyone he would go to prison and maybe die there, and then she and Mommy would be alone.  And Katie kept his secret, though she felt scared and dirty and ashamed and like a bad girl.  Partly because she sometimes wished her Daddy
would
die.  And that thought made her feel worse than ever.  She wanted to tell her mother everything but she forced herself not to; she kept her promise.  Because she didn’t want her Daddy to be taken away.  Not on
her
account.  But Daddy didn’t keep
his
promise.  Oh no.  For a while he stayed away but soon he was visiting her bed every time Mummy went out, and Katie started to hate her Daddy.  She became naughty and started doing badly in school, started being mean to her Mummy and to her friends.  Sometimes she even hurt them.  And sometimes she hurt herself.  But she kept quiet about what was happening because she loved her Daddy as much as she hated him, and she didn’t want to send him to prison.  And because she didn’t want her mother to find out what a bad girl she had been.  Because she didn’t want her mother to hate her.  But one night Mummy found out anyway.’

Kate met Grainne’s huge, starting eyes, distractedly noting t
heir electrified expression even though her attention was still mostly fixed on her own painful past.  She took a deep, sobbing breath and continued with the story she had never told another soul, ‘One night Mummy came home early and found Daddy in Katie’s bed.’  Tears poured from Kate’s inward looking, memory-blind eyes and cascaded down her cheeks.  ‘She went
insane
with rage and attacked him.  She hit him and scratched him and Katie was very scared because it was all her fault for being bad, but she was glad too because maybe now Mummy would stop Daddy from doing those bad things.’

Kate paused for a moment before woodenly continuing, ‘And Mummy did.  She went to phone the police and Daddy got angry.  He tried to stop her and even hit her.  And then Mummy grabbed a knife and stabbed Daddy with it.  He didn’t die then, but he did die later, in
hospital.  And it was all Katie’s fault.’

Kate
’s frozen face cracked into a painful rictus of a smile, ‘For a little while things were better, but then they got bad again.  Because just as Katie had loved her Daddy as well as hated him, so she began to hate her mother even as she loved her. Because Mummy had taken her Daddy away.  And sometimes she even missed the things Daddy had done, because even though she had hated them, at least she
had
a Daddy then, and now she did not.  But most of all she hated
herself
because she knew it was all her fault.  If she had been a good girl Daddy wouldn’t have done those things to her, and he would still be alive.  So Katie had killed her Daddy.’

Kate was silent for a very long time, unable to continue, but at length she found her voice again,
‘There were problems for a long time, but at last things started to get a little better.  Mummy would not talk about Daddy, and Katie
could
not, because she had promised him never to tell anyone about what they had done…a promise she kept for far, far too long.  But later she read some books and talked to some counsellors, and she finally realised that it
wasn’t
her fault, that she had done nothing wrong.  That was a very great revelation, and a great weight off her mind, even though it took her a long time to truly believe it, with her heart as well as her mind.  And so she started to heal.  A little, anyway.  Perhaps she never fully recovered.  Perhaps no one ever fully does.  Later still, after her Mummy died, Kate decided that she wanted to help other people who had problems, others who had suffered as children.’