Hidden Destiny (Redwood Pack) (15 page)

Once he was dead, she could live again.

Or at least find some peace.

North pulled away, a frown on his face, but didn’t say anything.

Soon the house was filled with babies, and then she was alone again while the adults and children who could shift were on the full-moon hunt. Lexi closed her eyes as she sat in front of one of the windows. The moon danced along her skin and called to her.

As with every full moon she’d experienced, this one hurt.

Not that she ever told anyone that.

Her emotions went haywire during the full moon. It was like PMS on steroids. She knew that was one reason she was freaking out about being with North and worrying that she’d rely on him too much.

The moon made her crazy—at least a crazy that could be controlled. Watching the babies usually helped her find her calm.

The madness seeped into her soul while the pain from not being able to shift only intensified as she got older. North had told her the chemicals in her body were fighting each other and herself, but she didn’t know of a way to free herself from it.

She was dying, and she knew it.

Other latent wolves died much younger, unable to handle the madness and overbearing pain of not being able to shift.

If they didn’t figure out a way to stop the pain, she might not be able to fight it anymore.

The door opened to her right, and she stared at North, shirtless, his body slick with sweat.

“What are you doing here?” she asked as she stood on shaky legs. “You should be on the hunt. You know your wolf needs to be let out.”

North shook his head then stalked toward her, a predator with his prey in sight. He grabbed her, pulling her to his chest then crushed his mouth to hers.

Her pulse quickened as she opened for him, a moan echoing through the room.

North finally pulled back, his hands still clenched around her upper arms. “My wolf might need to run, but he needs to be by your side even more.”

This man.

“I did a short run, and now I’m here because I’m not leaving you alone. I shouldn’t have done it in the first place. I knew this night would be hard for you emotionally, but I’m a fucking idiot in that I didn’t think about the physical aspects.”

He ran a finger along her cheek. “It’s hard, but I’m okay,” she lied.

“You can tell me what’s wrong. I can hear the babies are asleep, Lex. We have time before the others come back from the hunt, so you can talk to me.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. You’re in pain because you can’t shift, and you’re doubting everything you’ve had because of the emotions running through your system like a freight train. You’re allowed to lean on me, Lex. I’m not going anywhere.”

Oh, how she’d love to do that fully, lean on the man she knew would catch her if she fell, but she knew that wasn’t in the cards for her. Not until she lost the chain around her neck tethering her to the Central Alpha.

“North…I don’t know if I can lean on you,” she whispered.

He growled then cupped her face. “Why not?”

“I…it’s not as though I
need
to lean on you. You know that, right?”

“Jesus. Yes. Of course I know that. You don’t need anything, Lexi.”

She pulled away. “No, that’s not what I mean. I only meant that I’ve learned to stand on my own, but the fact that I
know
you’ll be there is something completely different. I know that you’ll be there if I need to fall, to let go. I know you’ll catch me. That’s not the issue. I trust that you’ll be there.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“What if you’re the one I hurt when I fall?” Her voice broke.

North let out a breath. “Baby…”

“I’d rather be broken in a million pieces than be the one to hurt you. I’d rather fall and bruise, break…
bleed…
than make you succumb to the pain that follows me. I would never do that to you. I don’t want you to fall for me. I couldn’t bear it.”

“Lexi, I’ve already fallen for you, just not in the way you mean. I love you so fucking much, Lexi Anderson. Don’t hold back to try to keep me safe. Go all in, and we’ll keep each other safe.”

She sucked in a breath at his words and licked her lips. “You…you love me.”

North kissed one side of her mouth then the other. “Of course I do, silly woman.”

“But…I thought you’d need a bond for that.”

North growled. “Seriously? For fuck’s sake, Lexi. No, we don’t need a bond. Would I like one? Yes. Of course I fucking want to have that connection, but that’s not all we have. A bond doesn’t equal love. Mating doesn’t equal love. Just because I can’t have you every single way being a werewolf allows doesn’t mean I can’t love what I have.”

Lexi closed her eyes, and swallowed hard. “I’m an idiot. Aren’t I?”

“Yes, but I love you anyway.” He grinned, and she punched him.

“I love you too, you butt.”

North rolled his eyes. “Nice, I go all romantic and heartwarming, and you call me a butt. I can see our future together is going to be rife with love.”

“You better believe it,” she said then took a shaky breath.

“Now, the babies are asleep, and I think I still have a little tension to get out of my system. What do you think of us necking on the couch while we wait for the others to finish their hunt?”

Lexi snorted, the pain in her joints and heart slowly fading to the background with North by her side.

She was stronger than she thought she was.

She just had to believe that.

North ran hand through his hair and looked out among the circle that had been part of his life and Pack for as long as he could remember. He could feel the magic and memories along his skin as if they were living things, rather than echoes of something far greater.

The circle was where centuries of decisions, judgments, meetings, celebrations, and wakes had been held. His father was only in his mid-two hundreds while the Pack was almost a millennia old. The Alphas before his father had ruled with iron fists yet also with justice embedded in their cores. Edward was another version of them, an Alpha wolf in modern times, who not only had to deal with the Pack and a war with the Centrals, but the secrecy surrounding their existence.

Before the war, others, like himself, could go out into the human areas, live among them, and return to the den to hide out until they were no longer remembered. This way their lack of aging would never be found out.

Modern technology and the war between the Packs were forcing the Redwoods to stay close and almost cage themselves into the Redwood land.

North wasn’t sure how much longer wards and secrets could keep them apart.

He didn’t want to think about what discovery would mean for his people, his family.

He let out a breath.

Now wasn’t the time to think about their existence coming into the limelight. No, that thought would always be in the recesses of his mind, but he needed to focus on what was in front of him.

Namely, the punishment of the three women who had attacked his mate and his family.

With that punishment would come the iron fist his father was known for, even if he didn’t use it regularly.

North and his brothers would have to keep an eye out for Patrick and his goons. The lower-ranked wolf would be at the circle, as would almost all of the wolves who didn’t have a patrol or young children to watch.

The Jamensons would be making a statement.

He just hoped the others would listen and take note.

Now wasn’t the time to fight among themselves. No, now was the time to come together against a greater enemy. The Redwoods just needed to remember that.

He took another step into the circle and inhaled, letting the wash of centuries of memories seep into his soul. The circle itself was made of dirt and stone—a place where wolves could fight in dominance battles, and in some cases, like Kade’s, it became a mating circle. Around the circle, stone seating rose up, much like in a coliseum, the stone long worn down and smooth from ages of meetings.

There were two entrances into the circle at ground level. The grassy area around the circle was marked by small stones that had wards within them. This would allow whoever was fighting to keep magic out. The wolves would use their own power and strength to fight, not the magic of others—or, in the cases of those connected to the moon goddess, themselves.

Since it was a circle, there wasn’t a true head or foot of the area, but the Alpha’s platform and the Jamenson clan’s box was situated so the mountain was behind them. It was the place of power, and North had always loved and hated it.

Loved because it meant he was close to his family.

Hated because it meant his wolf was closer to the power that made the darkness just that much harder to control.

With Lexi at his side though, tonight would be okay.

He knew it.

The woman in his thoughts pressed her hand to his, and he looked down.

Yes, everything would be okay.

“Ready?” she asked, not hiding the nervousness in her tone.

He moved so she was against his side and his arm was wrapped around her, his hand resting on the curve of her ass. He leaned over and kissed her brow, and she let out a breath, relaxing. That his touch alone could calm her left him breathless.

“I’m ready,” he said then squeezed her a bit tighter. “I’m glad Parker is with Emmaline tonight.”

“Me too.”

Emmaline was an elder whom Bay and Adam befriended awhile back. The shy woman was just now emerging from her shell and had offered to watch all the Jamenson children so none of the parents would miss the important evening.

Usually one or two of them could miss a circle because of their children, and no one would bat an eye. However, tonight was the night the Jamensons would stand tall and try to reconnect their Pack so they would once again stand united against the Centrals. Uniting as one against those who had harmed his mate made a powerful statement as well.

Sometimes even the smallest of acts could prevent disaster.

He hoped.

They made their way to the box, the other Jamensons already there. It seemed North and Lexi were always the late ones. Honestly, he couldn’t help it considering it always took them forever to get themselves out of bed.

North liked having Lexi there.

The murmurs within the crowd reflected nervousness. It wasn’t often a punishment circle was held, but in this case, three women attacking another group of three women and losing, without relenting or apologizing, warranted it.

Edward stood up on the platform, and the crowd silenced.

At least most of them.

North looked over at Patrick and his crew of five wolves. They weren’t speaking, but they were still rustling about, making just enough noise that they walked a fine line between respect and disrespect. Something would have to be done about that.

Tonight.

Edward growled, and Patrick froze.

Good.

“We’re here tonight because our Pack is losing what we’ve always had as our backbone, as our foundation. We’re losing our unity. We cannot allow this to happen.”

His father’s words washed over him, and his wolf perked up, sensing the Alpha and basking in his presence.

Edward lifted his chin, and the three women were brought out. Each one kept her head down, but they weren’t shackled or tied. No, they walked into the circle on their own.

“Colleen, Sandra, and Marissa, you three attacked Pack members with no cause,” Edward accused, his voice low. “You used claws and teeth against two members who could not shift. You used brute force against our Healer and Heir female. You tried to kill one of the newest members of our Pack rather than welcoming her into our fold. What do you have to say for yourselves?”

Marissa and Sandra fell to their knees, their wolves unable to stand against the Alpha’s words.

Colleen alone stood tall and then lifted her gaze. “We’re tired of waiting,” she whispered, her voice shaky.

“What?” he heard Willow whisper behind him, but he didn’t answer her.

No one did.

His wolf went on alert, and he stood with his brothers as Patrick and his five men broke from the group and stepped into the circle.

Shit.

“You may speak, Patrick,” Edward drawled, seemingly bored, but North knew better.

“We’re taking over the Pack. We’re tired of sitting by while you precious Jamensons sacrifice those that are weaker—or at least those you
think
are weaker—so you all can live. It’s bullshit. If I had been leading the war, we’d have won a year ago. But, no, we’re forced to sit back because you’re too afraid of dark magic. Fuck that.”

North growled, his brothers making the same sound, low, deadly.

Patrick wasn’t done. “We’re tired of dying because you’re too
weak
to do anything about protecting us. We’re done.”

Edward raised his chin. “Is this really how the entire Pack feels? That I’m too weak to rule?”

“Yes,” Patrick answered.

“No,” screamed most of the Pack.

Edward raised a brow. “It seems you’re mistaken, Patrick. But if this is a true challenge, then let’s both of us meet in the circle. I’ll show you how Alpha I am.”

North turned to his father. A dominance fight? Shit. He had every confidence in his father’s fighting abilities, but that didn’t mean he wanted to see his father hurt, even a little bit. Plus, though Patrick might think winning would make him Alpha, that wasn’t the case. It was the moon goddess who chose the Alpha. Meaning Kade would become Alpha since he was the Heir, not Patrick. Patrick would have to kill every single one of the Jamensons to find a way to take over the Pack fully.

Something the other man seemed prepared to do from the way Patrick’s friends looked with their side glances and tension rolling off of them in waves.

Well, shit.

“And when I win, old man, we’ll beat the Centrals. Something you’ve failed at doing for far too long.”

“How do you expect to use dark magic and not become tainted like the Centrals have?” Kade asked, pure anger lacing his words.